June 2019 babies - part 5!!!!

[socktastic]

2nd trimester for all the lovely June mummies out there! Yippee!!!

Hi! I’m 16 weeks and fiiiinally over feeling rubbish 😂 I can actually cook and eat decent meals again!

Be nice to chat to others at the same stage 😊

@sk17 people are twats.

Sk how very annoying! Of course mothers eat and sleep and catch their breath! It’s just with a small baby/child you get a lot less time to yourself so lunch becomes whatever you can cobble together with one hand and sleep is when you can get it but there are so many good things about being a parent too, it’s just mean to tell you you won’t be able to do anything! Trying to think positive maybe what they’re trying to say in a rubbish way is to enjoy peace whilst you can. But you’re right, people just don’t say that to dads do they.

People are annoying when you’re pg, I remember almost everyone suddenly wanted to tell me their birthing horror stories once I was pregnant, stories of being in labour for days and days and all the pain they had etc. It really wasn’t what I wanted to hear!

From my very limited experience of one dd who is 7 the first 3/4 years for me were really hard, for different reasons at different times, brilliant in ways but exhausting in others, but now she’s older she’s at school during term times so I can work and go to the gym etc then and she will play on her own with her toys now (she didn’t for years and I had to play with her) so in an intense exhausted pov things are a lot easier, I get time to myself and I can ask her to do something or let me do something and she understands and will.

Wee I think I didn’t realise at first when I felt the baby flutters, mainly as it felt a lot like gas which I think —hope— is normal to think. I thought I felt movement around 12 weeks a couple of times but nothing definite since, 15 weeks now. I would like to start feeling it but at the same time I’m being careful what I wish for as I remember how strong the kicks and jabs were by the end!

I’ve been watching the new Marie Kondo programme on Netflix and it’s made me declutter my clothes as I don’t have space for maternity clothes so have used vacuum bags for my normal clothes ready for wearing them again but everything is a mess until it’s done and I hate things all over the place. I have to take so long to do everything or else I get too sick.

Xposted, tea, that’s fantastic, I’m .

I may well have already felt baby and just not realised then!

Completely with you on the decluttering but struggling for motivation, I'll have to add Marie Kondo to my list!

@sk17 I honestly think people just say it because they have nothing else to say, like a really rubbish small talk! It's been amazing, I bloody love being a mum. Some tough times, sure, but far more brilliant times.

Also annoys me when people say it's the mothers etc. I can honestly say DH and I are totally 50/50. However plenty of my friends aren't. And I think I achieved that by totally stepping back and biting my tongue. Eg I remember him asking me where we kept vests and I just replied "find them!". I also have never packed a bag for DS if he was going out with DH for the day. Yes sometimes he would forget important things. But then so did I! He's someone who learns on the job and it didn't take him long.

You've got to engineer the situations. Also best tip ever is to make a packed lunch when baby sleeps or make sure you have lots of one handed meals in freezer.

Don't book in too many visitors and sleep when the baby sleeps!

It'll all be fine. Ignore these people. It's fab.

Oh I just have to say too - I actually found newborn days with DD1 fairly easy (don't hate me!!) - she slept relatively well at night as newborns go, I spent my days going walking for coffees and sometimes going to groups, I really loved early maternity leave (and I don't think I have just idealised it in hindsight, I really did enjoy it!). I rarely napped and was usually having a croissant in the morning around 11 so wasn't fussed if didn't manage lunch until later, it was all good. It got trickier as she stopped sleeping at night after 5 months but I still very much enjoyed being in maternity leave and tried to make the absolute most of it.

I found the newborn bit lovely too (well when I just had one, newborn and toddler (21 months) was tricky... sorry!) I spent a lot of time going out for tea and cake, afternoon snuggle on the sofa whilst Baby fed and napped on me whilst j watched tv. I loved it. I found 2 under 2 more tricky but I did learn to nap when the kids slept. So every afternoon when ds1 when for his afternoon nap I’d take the baby to bed and feed and nap, we then chilled out the rest of the afternoon. I also found playgroups were my friend in that first year with both boys.

I agree that people are crap at small talk and say all sorts of rubbish. I love being a mother so much, and I find it so rewarding. Obviously your life will change, obviously there will be sleep deprivation but my little one is still pretty little (19 months) and he sleeps 13 hours a night uninterrupted. I take so much joy from watching my baby boy learning and exploring the world. And god, maternity leave was incredible. So many cafes, so much cake!! You’ll all be great and even if it’s not enjoyable straight away - it will be and it will be better than you can imagine 😍

And yes, make sure your partner does their fair share! I exclusively breastfed but my boyfriend was up with me for every feed in the early days changing nappies and keeping me company. And then as the baby got older, he would do all the early mornings as I was up in the night. We also did shared parental leave so he got used to having him on his own which was so good and important for us. I have always felt like an equal partner. I’m very lucky but I shouldn’t be, it should be the norm, sadly it isn’t.

Newish here, missed this! I'm due on 20th June. Sickness has returned last two days, Happy New Year 🙄

@hexagon my DH and I are keen to do shared parental leave - how did you split yours?

Right. Everyone who's sent me an email address for FB I have sent the invites again. It says they've been sent so fingers crossed this time!

@Lauralovesluke I did the first 10 months and he did the last two. It meant he did the bit with no pay but it was worth it. Not just for their bond but also because it meant I could go back to work without the stress of nursery settling in, plus as I worked part time we had so much time together as a family. I highly recommend it!

I'm in the Facebook group now, thank you!!

Ksjourney am DEFINITELY enjoying the runny eggs this time round so was really glad the advice changed! Just must have missed the whole prawn update

I second the suggestion of making a packed lunch. DH would make me a sandwich or lunch each evening when he did his lunch for work to make sure I ate properly. And if you bf then maybe invest in a big water bottle as you will need to drink a lot. I have a little one too for carrying out and about.

I had PND with DS, so I sometimes feel I missed out almost on the newborn months. It is exhausting and hard but I felt me and my DH grew closer in that time. I loved the weaning stage and doing all the toddler groups though.

One thing I wish someone had said to me before I had DS, was don't worry if you don't feel some life altering amazing bond the second your baby is placed in your arms. Everyone told me you'll never know a love like it, you will literally do anything for that little person. And that's true but its not always instant and thats ok. I think expecting that and it not happening contributed to my PND. I always loved DS but perhaps didn't realise it straight away. I was exhausted after labour and couldn't quite make the connection in my head between the baby I had grown and the one in my arms. I didn't want to admit I was more relieved that labour was over than overwhelmingly in love with the wriggly baby that had just peed everywhere haha!

Anyway, just something I wanted to say as I've had several friends feel a bit like that.

I love DS unconditionally, and having him has changed my entire life. In the best possible way.

I actually asked on here about prawns not long back as my midwife said no to cold cooked- NHS website and posters on here all encouraged me to enjoy a nice prawn cocktail or three over the Christmas period. I must have scratched that itch as haven't fancied one since!

Quick download:

1. How on Earth have I never thought about packed lunches before? So obvious but so right!

1. When I had my baby it was a big shock and I felt very teary, scared, and mourned my old self and life. BF was hard and I was very overwhelmed by the onslaught of cards and visitors weeks 0-4 then nothing after. But my god, even now I can see how cracked my brain was I remember cuddles and feeding in front of old Harry Hill TV Burps at 0200 each morning with glowing reverence. I loved that closeness, and got it with DC2 as well (yes even old TV Burps on Dave)

1. People seem to take seeing a pregnant woman as a license to spew utter shite. Ignore.

1. Week 17 and I am on my knees with fatigue. Tired all the time and crabby. Something’s got to give. The world going back to normal in 7 Jan will help I think x

PaulHollywood lets hope getting back to routine helps and you start to feel better! Told DH I am never doing this again haha!

I forgot about all the crap TV during night feeds must pick some netflix box sets or something ready to watch.

Am 17weeks now and still not feeling movements, but I do have an anterior placenta.

Thanks for the add to the FB group!

Ha! Remembering the night feeds with DS and I'd watch Sky News. There was a newsreader who did the graveyard shift who I ended up seeing as a Little night time friend. It was madness!

It's a weird, blurry, emotional time but I know that as soon as I got past 12 weeks I was jealous of anyone with a newborn. It's literally such a short time and goes so quickly. I can barely remember now.

Before you know it they're walking, talking, noisy little people with opinions and little attitudes, and that's great too.

I'm 17+3 and can't feel movements either. It's my first so I think that's normal but I am getting a bit worried, even though I know it'll be fine...
I had the most vivid dream last night of suddenly feeling the baby move and kick, it felt so real and woke me up but I then got really upset because it was just a dream and I started worrying about not having felt my little one yet. Bloody hormones make me an emotional mess 🙈

I’m just catching up as haven’t been on here for ages. I’m 18 weeks tomorrow and finally not feeling as sick.

However I’m feeling the same way as PaulHollywoodsSexGut. Exhausted all the time since before xmas. I’m sure I felt great in 2nd trimester last time. Wondering if it’s a virus.

Things that are annoying me are people telling me to take it easy but then not giving me the opportunity to do so and people who have stopped inviting me to things as I’m pregnant. I really noticed it over xmas. I hadn’t told everyone and got lots of invitations from groups of friends I hadn’t told but none from close friends I had told.

Ok rant over. Hope everyone else is ok.

Oh, and I still haven’t felt movement. Felt it at 16 weeks with my first.

Also I remember being shocked when I had dd how long bfing took. In my naivety I thought I’d be done in 5-10 minutes but often it would take 45 minutes or so. No one thinks to tell you these things and it can be a shock.

I’ve bought a contigo mug so I can have hot tea that stays hot and drink with one hand without worrying about spilling and I’ve also bought a chilly tumbler which has a lid to keep drinks cool so when feeding I can have a ready to reach supply of hot or cold drinks. That frustrated me the most, that and getting settled for a feed and realising the remote control was just a bit too far out of my reach so I was stuck staring at a wall!

After feeling better today I feel dreadful. Typical.

Hi ladies! I’m telling my boss about my pregnancy tomorrow (after I just got a promotion) so feeling anxious about that. I’ve had 3 dreams about it and him not taking it well 😬

On a different note, on a Reddit group I’m on someone suggested that they could hear their baby’s heartbeat with an app called Tiny Beat. I thought it wouldn’t work and it didn’t at first, but I’ve tried a few times and took me a while but I found my heartbeat and then a really quick heartbeat which must be baby’s! I tried the app on inanimate objects too to see if it was a gimmick but I didn’t get any readings from it so I think it might actually work and it’s free!