November 2017 #5. You wait ages for a baby, then 3 come along at once. Ante/post-natal chat ...

[Zampa]

No specific post-natal category so I've added it to the normal ante-natal category ...

That is poor @DuRezidal I'd be angry. Hope that you can find a better doctor or that they sort themselves out soon! Xx

@DuRezidal that's rubbish, I'd be pissed off! My 6 week checkup isn't happening until 2 months as there weren't any appointments available, but they did say they'd squeeze me in if I had any concerns. As it is I feel fine so we're doing all the various checks on us both at the same time as the 8 week injections

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

No period symptoms for me here so hoping the breast feeding delays it for a while. As a result I've not really thought about contraception yet as feeling very un-sexy. TBH don't think I'll be able to contemplate sex until I stop breast feeding as boobs are huge and uncomfortable. So that's possibly another 5 months out of action which is a grim thought!

Also suffering from night sweats and it's nice to hear that it's not just me! I've changed deodorant and I now smell less offensive in the morning!

The delays in seeing a doctor don't sound unusual. A friend had to wait until her lo was 16 months old to get her 9 month development check! Very fortunate here though. Our surgery sent a new baby card when DD2 was a few weeks old with her appointments already made for next week. Can't believe she's nearly at 6 weeks already!

DSC asked if I'd have another baby. The answer is definitely no as DP isn't keen (this baby is his 4th!). I also don't think it would be fair on my eldest who needs a lot of extra support. However, I'm getting quite upset that I'll never be pregnant again - the wonderful feeling of that positive test, the little flutters, the general special feeling! I'm sure it will wear off but, oh, the pangs!

Hope things are getting easier for you @motherhippy16.

@butterybollocks we've started doing a little bit of a bedtime routine with Iris over the last week. DS goes to bed at 7 so one of us puts him to bed & the other puts Iris into a clean babygro. If DS is having a bath she goes in too for the first five minutes which he loves. If she's fairly settled once she's changed she'll join in story time. She has her last feed about 7.30 & then falls asleep about 8 & we put her to bed in her crib with the monitor on. I'm normally in bed by 9/9.30 so she's only on her own for an hour or so. She's sleeping much better as a result, she's been waking up around 2.30 for a feed, it was 4am today! She then wakes for the day around 6.30.

No period symptoms here yet either. I'm sure I'd had my first period by now with DS.

@Zampa I'm not ready to say no more children yet but I know logically & financially Iris probably is our last. DP keeps asking why I'm hanging on to maternity & newborn clothes but until I'm happy that there is definitely no more then I'm not getting rid of anything.

@DuRezidal I hope you manage to get something sorted with the Drs.

@butterybollocks yes the group is really helpful! Saw the breast feeding team this morning and it def isn't a nutritional or feeding problem so they have said that things will settle in their own time. Almost like riding the storm with baby until he learns to settle with our help. He is only 17 days old so fingers crossed this is only a little teething problem x x x

How can I avoid overtiredness and has anyone else had this problem? X

We have had an overtired baby this evening - lots of crying, struggling to settle and then broken sleep. I think the key to avoiding it is remember that they can only be awake for 45-60 mins at this age, and encouraging sleep before they really seem tired. They'll stir at the end of a sleep cycle after roughly 40 mins so I try to watch out for this and rock him through it (he's usually sleeping on me!) It's hard tho, we've been visiting friends and family have been over today and his sleep has suffered. It's a full time job just making sure they get the right sleep. I think once they are overtired you just have to do whatever to get them to sleep and keep them asleep. In the day I put him in the sling, do a long walk and or potter about the house (my fitbit loves me!). In the evening if he's overtired we have to swaddle and rock him endlessly.

Good that the group went well @motherhippy16 Sounds like you're doing a fab job and he's just being a newborn and will hopefully settle for you soon.

DH is out wetting the baby's head tonight. I've told him he can have a lie in tomorrow but then he has to get up and parent with s hangover.

I haven't got anywhere with the health visitor or the doctors, but have issued a formal complaint so will see what that brings.

J slept 7 1/2 hours last night, I couldn't believe it! He went to sleep with us at 8pm downstairs and then I tried the dream feed when I took him up to his room at 10ish mainly because he hadn't had much bottle before he fell asleep earlier.

When he woke me up at 3.30am I couldn't believe it. I feel our evening routine is now getting more established. He has a bottle, then a bath, a top up bottle and then put him down in his Moses basket but cover it with a muslin so he isn't watching everything. He seems to be getting the hang of falling asleep that way now which is how I did it with my daughter.

So I have him just about organised and tonight my almost 6 year old little girl is on her very first sleepover (not at a family member that is) and I am an absolute wreck because I am worried she is going to be really unsettled and upset.

@Motherhippy16 I find J naps in the day but not long periods really. But come 5-6pm he sleep longer periods and is more deep sleep

@Topsyloulou @butterybollocks good to hear your bedtime routines, we don't have anything like that. I just try and feed her to sleep at 9pm ish when I go to bed. She looks really tired and doesn't sleep much during the day unless we have her in sling / pram. Do you put your babies down for sleep and do they stay? @butterybollocks cannot imagine putting her in basket without her crying, at best we feed in our bed then I transfer once she is asleep :-/

Oops sorry not sure why all in bold!!

I can put F down at night when he's almost asleep - I feed him, then lie him on me for a bit then put him in his bed once he's drifting off. He has a sleepyhead which he seems happy to go in.
Can't put him down to sleep in the day though! No matter how asleep he is, he wakes up. So he sleeps on my chest or in the sling or in the pushchair as long as we keep moving. DH is off work for a few weeks over Christmas and has been trying to put him down to sleep in the day - it's a lost cause! I think we need to work on getting him to fall asleep by himself in the day but I think he's too little to be able to properly self settle at the moment. So I'll just enjoy the snuggles and the excuse to sit on the sofa watching crap TV for now.

Hi @lydiangel83

I can put Freddie down for a short time during the day if he's sleepy but only in his bouncer which has a vibration setting. It works most of the time but Boxing Day he decided he didn't like it. I find it handy for having a shower too as I put the bouncer in the bathroom so I can keep an eye on him and have a wash 👍

Thank you all so much. E slept all night waking up twice for a feed and was awake for about an hour each time which was ok so I feel as though u got a good couple of hours. He is still waking so much during the day I am worried about his cortisol levels and stress levels but dh tells me that he is no different from any other baby and that he is learning as we all are. Definelty can't put him down to sleep atm and dh goes back to work on Tuesday so I'll be by myself all day with e. How do you all find t being with your babies by themselves? X

Bea is 11 weeks old and doesn't want to sleep in the day at all, she will only sleep if we go on an epic walk or go for a drive. I can't do this every day! Due to her lack of daytime sleeping she is very bad tempered and my house looks like a Santa's grotto/ mothercare bomb has gone off in here.

I also struggle to get her to sleep at night. I'm encouraging her to self settle as she only wants to sleep if I cuddle her. The first night it took 2 hours for her to sleep, last night and the night before it took an hour and a half. We don't let her cry, we just pat her and put her dummy back in until she sleeps. When she sleeps she does sleep for 7/8 hours which is helpful to my sanity.

I think things will get better for us in January when the baby groups start, our days will have more structure to them.

@theotherendofthesockportol I completely understand it situation! After reading all about how to settle babies and what I should and shouldn't be doing and hearing about all the babies that do amazing sleep I could cry! So helpful to hear that other mum's are in the same boat. Due to c section and blood loss it's all I can do to pick him up and rock him to sleep before I'm knackered. Much love and empathy to all x

@Motherhippy16 the early days of recovering from a c-section are horrible. Be kind to yourself! Things get much better once you are able to go for walks/drive again, the sense of freedom is amazing!

Thank you... yes I can't believe how weak I feel and people have to remind me that it's still so early days! E has fallen asleep now for 4 hours and I need to wake him for a feed although I daren't do it! Fingers crossed... here it goes! X

I have found the following really helpful with J's sleep, and he now sleeps 7 1/2 hours at night:
Feed at 6pm
Nice long bath with baby bath lavender, but I get him kicking lots and playing in the bath
Towel dry and then massage using some baby sleep oil
Bring him downstairs, give him another feed and then even if he is awake swaddle him and place him in his Moses basket with a muslin over the top so he isn't looking around at everything
10pm take him up to his room, dream feed, reswaddle and place him in the sleepyhead with his Next2Me Projector

I find the two feeds so close together really help him settle...

Hey @DuRezidal how old is your bubs now and what weight?

Interesting to hear everyone's routines as we're still waking Frederick for feeds every 3hrs at night and 2 during the day. We're just over a pound up on birth weight at 6 weeks old.

Our little one is 4 weeks today, 2lbs up on birth weight, she eats A LOT, and is EBF so my nipples don't particularly enjoy that! No routine to speak of, I think it's a bit early yet. However she seems to have gotten herself in the rhythm of cluster feeding in the evenings, with last feed at half 11, settle to sleep by midnight, then sleep through til 3 - 4ish, an hour to feed & settle, then through til 6-7ish, then she grizzles but will sort of settle for another couple of hours til 9. I'd dearly love to bring this schedule forward a few hours but noooo idea how, and understand it's all liable to change at any time!
The bit I'm having the most trouble with at the moment is her wind, she really struggles to the point where it wakes her up & I'm not sure what to do. Infacol doesn't seem to make much difference, and I never get much wind when I'm burping her it seems to go straight down then cause her horrendous pain it's horrible to see will try gripe water in another few days I think. Does anyone know if you can give them infacol & gripe water?

@izzibee29 he was early and born at 38 weeks so he is now 8 weeks old. We have put this in place since he was 4 weeks old though as it worked really well with our daughter who is now 6.

He was born at 6lb 12 and when weighed at 4 weeks was 9lb 2. We haven't had him to weighed yet but he is growing really well and is now in baby grows up to 1 month whereas he was in small baby when he was born.

@DiscombobulatedWomble how do huh wind her? Both my babies would never wind if I put them over my shoulder or against my chest. However if I sit them on my knee and lean them gently forward and rub their backs it happens straight away.

@Motherhippy16 you need to remember you have had major surgery and give yourself some time. When I broke my leg and had surgery on it at 17 weeks pregnant I felt absolutely useless for a few weeks and that was only my leg!