November 2017 #4: Bump botherers, nesting and maternity leave!

[GingerHanna]

In which we swat away unwanted hands, perform military operations every night to roll over in our sleep, clean the kitchen cupboards for the eleventy billionth time and count down the days to our maternity leave!

Previous thread here.

Click here for The List.

No need to apologise, anyone. I know you're not wishing for the babies to come early!

When you have an early and/or sick baby, it's easy to become very sensitive to a variety of things. Leaving DD in NICU and walking past pregnant women smoking made me really cross. It felt unfair that they'd probably go onto have healthy babies when I did everything right and had a very ill daughter. I get similarly het up about people saying that a baby was "premature" when it was born after 37 weeks!

To all of the ladies struggling with work l can really identify! I finish for maternity leave on 20th October and the advert for my backfill was only posted yesterday, so clearly no chance of a handover as they won't have anyone in place until christmas if we're lucky, just because my boss didn't get his finger out and deal with it 😠 Like most of you, l should be thinking about winding down and finishing up and it's not going to happen, it will be full speed until l finish - except that for both mine and baby's health l will refuse to take too much on, work will just have to wait! The new me, as I have worked myself almost to the point of exhaustion in the past 🙄

To everyone else, l hope you are doing well, time is really flying by for us now ladies, it won't be too long until we have our bouncing bundles of joy! 😍

I don't know why workplaces are always so shit at arranging maternity cover! I told my place I was pregnant in May, it's taken them until now to get an advert out, and I'm leaving at the end of October. Unless someone internal gets it, there's little chance of any proper handover and while I know it's not really my problem, it's stressing me out a bit. I've been doing my job for years and it's a bit niche, and I know the way I do some things isn't completely intuitive or well documented so someone else might struggle to pick it up.

@Accrual that's the way I'm feeling too - it's not like it's been short notice!!

Unfortunately I don't get a maternity leave as it's my own business. So I'm just trying to work horses up to around 38-39 weeks and then try to have 2 weeks off when the baby is born.

Hoping this link works ... It shows the most popular days of the year for babies to be born. November is fairly quiet!

ow.ly/WaulE

I'm sorry to all those having a tough time at work. My company have done nothing about covering me but since I think we're all on the chopping block I suspect my work will just be absorbed. I'm hoping not to return so have decided to just let them get on with it.

I've also decided that my last day at work will be November 17 if baby hasn't come before (due on the 10th). The following week is Thanksgiving and my parents are arriving for a few weeks so it makes sense to stop then.

Will hopefully get a timeline for moving by the end of this week. I'm now not fussed when it happens but would like to have a date in mind. We have already been joking that I will go into labour on moving day and the baby will be born on the side of the road in the back of a van.

After the blood sugar fiasco of the last month I'm now waiting on a call back from the doc to let me know I don't have to keep testing. I've tested the last 5 days and both fasting and 2 hrs post breakfast have been really low.

Finally, looking forward to the weekend. My sister and mum arrive today for a few days and although it's going to be chaotic with so many people in my apartment it'll be nice to have them around.

I told my work when I was about 6 weeks back in March and it has taken them until now to bother to find a replacement. So annoying (and expensive for them as they have found a contractor) as it means commuting in to London 5 days a week (3 hr round trip) to hand over. Like others tho if I am not well / up to it then I won't be going in. They don't put me first so why should I put them first! (Work for big corporation - I know it's different for self employed)

I told my work back in March too and they still haven't organised cover in time for a handover. I finish a month today and they're a bit sniffy about me going at 34 weeks, I think they thought I'd stay longer.

Have managed not to cry about the gestational diabetes today - had lunch with a colleague who is diabetic and it was a good reality check that this should only be something I have to deal with temporarily.

5 y o DD just appeared to tell me that lidl are about to start selling "big belly clothes for ladies". A which Google suggests she's right and they're about to start selling cheapo maternity clothes - worth a look!

Hi all sorry I've not posted since the first trimester.

Urgh this pregnancy has felt hard. I've got a suspected slipped disc which has caused a scitica, placenta prevaria so didn't feel any bumps until gone 26 weeks, carpel tunnel/ painful wrists with thumbs that dislocate that I have to click back in that hurts, heartburn, leg cramps, insomnia, painful braxton hicks and to top it off gestation diabetes :(

I can't wait for my baby but went to an nct class last Saturday and couldn't help feeling slightly jealous that the other women didn't seem to have the same/ as many problems.

I've been exhausted all day and now lying here in bed with heartburn and restless legs that make me move that then hurt my sciatica- and only 29+5 :(

Work has been a sod too, they want me to say I won't come back to my current job so they can hire someone new permanently, I said I don't know and depends on what happens with back, but in face to face or phone calls they talk about how life will change with child / how I will need to pick child up from nursery and can't stay for late meetings etc but don't put this in writing,

I'm currently off sick wth back and they are still badgering me to try and get me to say won't come back to current role. And they have known about pregnancy since may but manager saying she can't advertise until I make a decision.

Sorry for the moan, I'm so overjoyed to be having a baby but it's felt so hard during my pregnancy and all I really want to do is sleep and I can't :(

@TreasureInMyTummy sorry to hear that you having a rough ride with your pregnancy. The last thing you need is your work behaving like dicks. I would advice giving ACAS a call they will be able to support you.

For all other pregnancy stuff you have us here :)

@TreasureInMyTummy Sorry to hear about how your work are behaving, especially when you're feeling so unwell.

I'm sure you know this but if you take only 6 months off on maternity leave, you're entitled to return to exactly the same role. 6-12 months off and you're entitled to return to a comparable role. I believe that you are required to give 8 weeks notice of when you intend to return to work so you have quite some time to make that decision!

I have one colleague already on maternity leave and both our roles are being absorbed by the current team. Whilst the team are struggling to cope with the extra work, it's a bit disconcerting and I'm expecting to receive a redundancy notice whilst I'm off! However, the same thing happened when I was off with DD so maybe nothing to worry about!

Oh @treasureinmytummy that sounds awful. I've had a slipped disc and sciatica in the past and it keeps flaring up so I (literally) feel your pain. I found sitting on a big gym ball helped a bit. Definitely take some advice on your work situation, sounds so stressful and you just don't need that.

Thanks for replies everyone :) x

I've already spoken to acas who have said i can't make a decision until I know all the facts and work can't expect me to ( so until I have baby I can't have MRI or treatment to know how back will be ) my occupational health referral also came back saying I couldn't make a decision now and work know this but still trying to push. I'm in a union too and they are supporting me which is helping but it seems like work won't let it drop and so it's still not settled.

I finally managed to get to sleep! Although up and down a few times in the night for loo and shamefully once I dreamt I was already on the toilet and immediately woke up when a small drop actually came out!!! has this happened to anyone else? I blame being so tired.

Sorry again for big moan last night, I've wanted my baby so much that I don't really like to complain to anyone about how I feel sometimes.

Baby up and dancing in my tum this morning so I always wake up with a smile no matter what my night has been like.

On a separate more upbeat note who has started to do nursery and anyone got a pram yet?

My mum and I went the shop the other day and got the Bloomsbury furniture set for nursery for £600 reduced from
£1400 as was ex display in mothercare. Its already built so thankfully I don't have to figure out how to get it all put together.

We stopped at cafe and saw a lovely pram. A mum came in and just wheeled her baby into place at table. It was also really high up which I thought could be good for my back post birth. I looked it up afterwards and it's a stokka xplorer- has anyone heard of this or had any experience of it? It's quite expensive so mulling it over only at moment. X

My only comment in the Stokke Xplory is the carrying space. The little bag is teeny tiny. I walk everywhere with DD and love having a huge space to bung shopping, coats etc. However, if you're mostly in a car or don't want to carry much, that's not an issue.

We have painted nursery banana / custard yellow (I wanted pale yellow but bought in a rush and DH insists it's great), and bought a silvercross brompton travel system from mothercare. We went on a special new parents evening and got 10% off so bought quite a few big things. Still got to buy cot and few other bits and pieces but glad to have got pram/ car seat sorted x

Thanks Zampa yes it is rather a small bag and I'm a bit of hoarder I like to have everything I think I will need lol

My cousin's wife has the silver cross pram and really likes it Lydia do you have pic of nursery trying to picture colour. I've not thought of colours yet but thinking of a safari theme with maybe some transfers stuck on wall. Gosh it feels like time is zooming by- I think I've got about 9 weeks left

@TreasureInMyTummy to be fair the Pooh wallpaper helps. I just had in my head a tasteful neutral nursery. We also have a pale green cupboard to be added (!) and yet to buy a cot.

Ooh Lydia I really like it!

I'm thinking a green shade ( lightish) with then safari animals but so need to go and look at colours properly.

I do love Winnie the Pooh though :) xxx

@TreasureInMyTummy I'd have gone for pale green if our spare room wasn't already in that shade x

Ahhh lydia it's lovely!
We're doing the nursery grey with white and dark wood furniture so it's going to be quite calm and neutral. We've just painted DD's room and it is sooooo pink so we needed a calming room in comparison.

I'm picking up our pram (bugaboo) from my friend on Saturday as she's been borrowing it for the past two years - this will be its 4th baby between the two of us. We'll probably only use it for a year as we have an out and about nipper in the loft and we prefer that but it doesn't lie flat.

I love your nursery @Lydia! The Pooh Bear paper too 😍 I am so stuck between themes, Pinterest is not always helpful when it comes to picking one style. I really want to try and paint an ombré wall in pale green and purple but I think it will end up looking shit haha. I have no idea how to do it. And DH has already wallpapered one wall with a green and and white palm tree type wallpaper that I am too scared to tell him I've gone off now lol. I like the idea of doing some Roald Dahl/Quentin Blake type bits in there, but not sure how to tie it in. X

As we've just moved house, we're redecorating (once unpacked). DD is getting the Quentin Blake Zagazoo parrot wallpaper in green and new baby is having Scion April Showers.

Ah @Zampa I love both those wallpapers - where are they from? We did it all in a rush as DH wanted to get jobs done, which is fair enough but I could have spent ages over it!

@lydiangel83 Wallpaper Direct is a great website for browsing and I recommend the John Lewis interior design team wholeheartedly.

I've been busy planning the bedrooms for my step monsters too but tweenage bedrooms are a little bit harder as they have their own opinions on what they want!