May 2017 #4

[WishIWasSleeping]

Oh, obviously I do know how!

That's a lovely 4d pic crazy! When can you have 4d scans? I thought they were from around 25 weeks onwards?

16 weeks onwards for private scans. Mine is booked for 17 weeks, so 2 weeks time! Excited!

I thought I'd share a good experience I had today at the hospital.

Because I have a slightly underactive thryoid, I have to see a consultant obstetrician and endocrinologist every 6 weeks or so during pregnancy. Blood test results etc were fine. They noticed I'd requested a debrief for my last birth 2.5 years ago and never received one, and offered to set up a separate appointment outside clinic hours to go through my childbirth notes fully and answer any questions I have! I was so surprised as I thought the debrief would definitely be with a midwife, I'd have been happy either way but it'll be nice to hear an obstetrician's expert view on it!

The other positive thing that happened is that I asked the endocrinologist if I should take B6 to help fight the horrible nausea, as I read on the internet this could help. He said, "no, don't take B6, but I'd be more than happy to prescribe you something for the sickness, there are several things we can try which are perfectly safe during pregnancy." And with that he handed me a prescription for cyclizine. I have looked it up online and everything I read was pretty reassuring so I've taken my first one just now and I do feel less sick already!

I can't believe the GP signed me off sick for 3 weeks rather than offering me anything for the sickness, meanwhile a consultant endocrinologist is happy to write out a prescription the second I mention the word 'nausea'.

I had my scan yesterday and there was one very fidgety wriggly baby in there! Lovely to see! Moved forward a few days as well - bonus - EDD 20/05/2017. Great to see everyone's scans and that so many are feeling better as well.

Having really vivid dreams and waking up with headaches this week.

I've posted a question in the employment section but would also be very grateful for anyone's prior experience on this please? I work full-time at the mo but would like to go back part-time. When is the best time to raise this with work? I have a meeting with HR next week and don't want to blurt anything out inadvertently; or have them coax anything out of me when it's none of their beeswax. Thanks

Oh really sonnet! All the private scan places I've looked on like baby bond say from 25 weeks?

Great news about scan Sauvignon

Sauvignonismysaviour

Personally I wouldn't request to go back part-time until I'm actually on maternity leave. With my first baby I didn't put in the request until a few months before I was due to come back.

I don't always subscribe to her corporate way of thinking but here's some advice from Sheryl Sandberg who is a top exec at Facebook and basically the goddess of women's career advice - she has a mantra "don't leave before you leave"

“…when it comes to integrating career and family, planning too far in advance can close doors rather than open them. … Of all the ways women hold themselves back, perhaps the most pervasive is that they leave before they leave.”

Another one of her quotes:

"What I am arguing is that the time to scale back is when a break is needed or when a child arrives—not before, and certainly not years in advance. The months and years leading up to having children are not the time to lean back, but the critical time to lean in.”

I do agree with her on this, because you don't know for sure how you're going to feel not just immediately after the baby arrives, but say 8 months later. At first you might not be able to imagine leaving your baby even for a day. After a few months you may decide mothering a baby is incredibly boring and actually, you prefer working full time/3 or 4 days a week/etc. I think it's best to wait and see how you feel as you settle into life with your new baby.

Plus, if everyone at work knows well over a year in advance that you're planning on coming back part time, you may find you get less opportunities coming your way. Even just being pregnant I can sense that I'm probably going to be on the bottom of my managers mental list of people when it comes to offering training opportunities and so on.

Wow, awesome 4d scan photo!

Anyone else still waiting for 12 wk scans?

lucie I went last time at 18 weeks and all was fine, they got the gender straight away and were correct.
That's odd they're saying 25 weeks as a lot of nhs 20 week scans reveal the gender...so I wouldn't think that company would get as much business!!

Sauvignon I replied on the other thread not realising that we were both May Mummy's!

I work in HR and see these occasionally - not often, but here and there and they are usually from women returning from Mat Leave.

Have a good read through both of these...

Employee Guide
http://m.acas.org.uk/media/pdf/s/7/The-right-to-request-flexible-working-the-Acas-guide.pdf
^
Employers Guide^
http://www.acas.org.uk/media/pdf/f/e/Code-of-Practice-on-handling-in-a-reasonable-manner-requests-to-work-flexibly.pdf

You'll notice in the Employers Guide that a request can only be rejected for one of 8 reasons:

• The burden of additional costs
• An inability to reorganise work amongst existing staff
• An inability to recruit additional staff
• A detrimental impact on quality
• A detrimental impact on performance
• Detrimental effect on ability to meet customer demand
• Insufficient work for the periods the employee proposes to work
• A planned structural change to your business

You have the right to appeal a rejected request too. But my advice would be to think about this now, but not to submit a request ahead of going on Maternity Leave. You are under no obligation to discuss is yet. Give yourself some options.

When you are completing your application, take the above points into consideration and try to mitigate them in your answers.

Sorry for the long post, but I hope it helps you and anyone else who's not sure

Great news on the scan sauvingon and great picture mustbe. Sorry you were disappointed, but in practical terms, there will be loads of advantages to having two the same.

On Sauvignon's employment question, I would agree with pp's that it's a bit early yet. It's really hard to predict how motherhood will change you and what you'll want to do about work after the baby is here. You don't want to get tied into an arrangement that doesn't suit you long term.

Had dating scan attempt two today, as the first one had been booked too early and they couldn't do all the measurements.

Wriggly little baby there, all seems fine, NT measurement 2.4 at the widest but still have to wait until Tuesday at least when they will tell me if I'm high risk. Otherwise ten days at least for the low risk letter. Argh the waiting game never stops does it. I really wanted to finally tell everyone and out my bump as I'm running out of ideas how to hide it.

Due date brought forward to 23 May.

So relieved that everything looks fine, eeee I have a little baby in my belly and I'm starting to think that this is actually going to happen!

Thanks you very much for your excellent replies Mamushka and RaspberryinaMelon
And also for the links and resources. Very much appreciated.

That's really good about the endocrinologist Mamushka , I've also got an underactive thyroid and just had a call from the endocrinologist clinic setting me up an appointment. They'd looked at my last bloods from the GP and told me to increase my dose which gave me more confidence that someone out there is actually on it!

Great news on the scan JonSnow, it is so exciting seeing them moving around!

Fox - I think I'm the last and had it today. EDD put back a day to 29th May. Apparently everything looked ok
It also seemed to be hiccuping part way through

missmoo sorry to hear about your nightmare, that sounds really upsetting Hope your day got better and tonight you sleep soundly!

Loving all the scans

In the airport awaiting flight. Off on a roadtrip with my mum but my case is mostly packed with snacks!!! This hunger is bonkers!!!

Have a great holiday badger. Can totally relate to bagful of snacks.

Ahh going to miss the 12 week scan pics - all looking lovely. Thanks for the thoughts about talking to work about returning mamushka raspberry and esme definitely food for thought.

Evening ladies.

Just catching up with all the posts from the last few days.

Streaky17 - Are you based in Bristol? I tend to look on facebook to see what nearly new sales are happening in Bristol.

Still feeling nauseous but the tiredness is starting to subside.

Am visiting my parents this weekend and will be telling them the good news. Still slightly apprehensive given that I won't get the results from the Harmony test for another week but am trying to keep positive!

mamushka hurrah for the meds!
klane hello, we are due date buddies

Lovely scan photos . Does anyone else have "baby brain" yet... I honestly thought it was a myth but today started with me smearing myself liberally in hair serum rather than stretch mark oil, losing my glasses (they were on my head) and generally just being a bit useless at work. I feel lost... I am normally much more organised!!

Crazy I definitely think I'm getting baby brain. I get half way through doing things in the kitchen and then forget them!

I've still been pretty exhausted this week. I thought I was meant to be past this bit now! But I made it to a pregnancy fitness class this evening which as good, but hard work.

Morning All, I have told ppl at work about my pregnancy yesterday. Lots of "aww, congratulations" but I know they are also scared as hell. I am quite happy to have a work break tbh, even just for a mat leave year (cannot afford to be sahm or part-time).

I am so ready for a break from work. Feel totally broken by the Southern Rail train delays and cancellations. Makes my day so much harder. I won't be going back to work in central London ! Ah that feels good to say that !!

I definitely have baby brain. Yesterday I was on autopilot while getting ready in the morning, and picked up my toddler's fluffy bunny toy, by the ear, and was about to take it to work with me instead of my handbag!

jennymac31 No we moved about half an hour away from Bristol but there is not much else around here. I'll keep an eye on Facebook.
We are going to southmead for scans etc.

I'm still so tired and hungry but not so nauseous.

Got today off so hopefully going to do some Xmas shopping between other stuff.

More great scan pics! Lovely

I am still waiting for my 12w scan! It is this afternoon at 3.15, I am very nervous. I am still feeling sick which is a good sign but I won't relax until I see that everything is ok. Is anyone else yet to have their scan or am I the last? My edd is 31 May so feel quite behind in this group