May 2017 #4

[WishIWasSleeping]

Oh, obviously I do know how!

I'm under the weather so not eating much.

peas think we've got the pebble. I might be wrong, but if it is the same one you don't need the base, you can fit it with the seatbelt.

I've choosen my pram already, it's a silver cross sleepover , My mum is getting that and my MIL is getting the car seat to match so it's the complete travel system. Will get it ordered start of the year. We have had quite a few things offered to us so happy to take what is offered.

My SIL gave me her pregnancy pillow which doubles as a nursing pillow afterwards so that's good. I like to be organised so after new year will be busy buying the essentials

Mamushka and Mighty I wish.... I seem to have gone the opposite way, I've had 2 mini croissants and a packet of crisps all day, no appetite at all today...

Peas I like the idea of a sling but I was worried about how heavy the baby feels in one.... if I've been carrying her/him for the past 9 months is it really comfortable to carry him/her in the same way after s/he's born?

As long as you have a good carrier then you'll be fine, my best one is a Tula, £££ but it speads the weight and we still back carry him in it now at nearly 2. I have a stretchy wrap which is tricky and you need to be good at tying to spread the weight and also a rockin baby pouch which is wonderful for a little newborn as just pop them in. Some babies love a sling and others don't, equally it's not for every parent so I would say wait till baby is here and go to a sling meet to try before you buy. Don' t buy a babybjorn, the design is poor and not good for weight distribution at all, my cousin gave me one and it caused back ache, also has a relatively low weight limit so my giant son was out of it not long after 6months.

A newborn in a stretchy wrap feels like no weight at all. Nothing like the discomfort of being heavily pregnant, thankfully!

I need some tights for a wedding. Nude ones. I never wear tights. Is 50 denier really thick and weird looking?

Peas, Fox thanks for the sling advice... what's a sling meet?

Fox 50 denier will be thick... if they were black you can't see through them - if you see what I mean... Go for 15 denier to go with a posh dress for a wedding, but buy a two pack as the catch really easily!

Fox I got my nude Mat tights from M&S

Oh no raspberry and savage... hope you both feel more normal soon.
My nausea is milder today at 14w but the suspected UTI thing is freaking me out (thanks google, and why do these things always strike at a weekend?).
This really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?!

Sling meet is a group where you can try/hire out diff carriers and get some really good advice on them. Try google or a local FB parents group for a recommendation.

Nude tights from M&S worth spending a couple of extra pounds so they are the right colour and have a nice finish, no one wants wrinkly orange legs! Enjoy the wedding. We are going to one at 34 weeks on the otherside of the country where I will know about 10 people, should be interesting!

Anyone taken a fall and been OK..? I was walking the dog on muddy, stoney ground and fell "head over tits"... Managed to twist in the air and land on my side but I bloody hurt (my muscles not my belly). I haven't called for any advice or been for a check up as I figure it's very little they can do, should I have caused some damage..? Argh!!

Crazy I'd call the midwives just in case, they can put your mind at rest. I'm sure you'll be fine, baby is well protected, but best to be safe.

A stretchy wrap really does distribute the weight very well, esp for a newborn. They aren't very expensive, but I would go to a sling meet before baby arrives (take your husband/partner too so they can also practise, in their case without a bump in the way!!). Tying the stretchy looks really complicated at first but only takes a few goes and it becomes very simple but best to have someone show you. They usually have weighed dolls to put in the sling so you can see how it feels.
A sling meet is a group of people who have a bunch of different slings for you to try. Normally at least one of the people who run it will have a qualification of some kind in baby wearing so can help with any issues you may have. Worth a Google to find one in your area. They also usually hire slings for you to hire.

Well I'm feeling very sorry for myself juts now and a bit pathetic. I've got the same cough as the rest of my family but seem to have it worse, like I'm trying to cough up a lung. I'll be doing my pelvic floor exercises after this as it's getting a little embarrassing, especially when out and about. I think I had a UTI 4 weeks ago but never made it to the gp so keeping an eye out for that returning.

peas might be worth keeping an eye out on local selling pages if you don't mind a second-hand base. I wouldn't use a second hand carseat as I wouldn't be able to tell if it was damaged, but I'd think it would be a lot more obvious in the base. I loved my base, made getting in and out of the car so much easier.

rise sling meets are usually a bunch of mums who use various baby carriers and are very happy to encourage newbies to join in over coffee and biscuits/cake. More often than not there will be someone there who is an official consultant who runs a sling hire/purchase scheme and can rent you out or sell you a carrier. Depending how popular they are, sometimes you need to get there early and book a consultation slot to try out one particular carrier - this is the case in the major sling meet in our nearby city which has 4-5 trained consultants. However in our local town meet you just turn up and wait as it's less busy, but everyone will usually chat in the meantime. If you live where I think you do then this may be useful for you Everything Baby Highland

A newborn in a stretchy wrap feels like no weight at all.

I definitely agree and I think this will be even more so the case for me this time round - having gotten used to carrying a 2 stone toddler around. I am imagining a newborn will feel tiny and feather-light in comparison. On the flip side I've heard quite a few mums saying their cute little toddlers suddenly seem like massive, freakishly overgrown hulks once the newborn arrives on the scene

I actually have a toddler carrier which I suppose I can't use as much now I'm pregnant, but I'm always surprised how much lighter he feels when I carry him in that compared to carrying him just in my arms. Carrying a baby in a sling or carrier is so much more supportive and comfortable, less of a ache on your shoulders than carrying them "loose" and definitely more comfy than late pregnancy- having the weight in your uterus squishing up all your internal organs and feeling like it's going to fall out from between your legs at any moment!

We have a lie-flat car seat, it's a Jane one and I'm sure it had a excellent safety reviews when we bought it (went with our Jane Trider travel system). We really only used it flat a couple of times though, and it is a lot heavier than the Maxi-Cosi type seats. And it's not iso-fix. So I'm ditching it this time round and getting a new one, especially as I know in advance I'm having a section.

crazy sorry to hear you fell. If it's just your sides that are sore I'm sure everything will be OK. You probably pulled muscles trying to twist and not land on your bump. I had one or two spills in previous pregnancies later on, think my centre of gravity was all out of kilter.

Had a very emotional evening tonight... spent an hour crying my eyes out sick with worry to my poor DH.

How can something as special as Motherhood be so damn confusing and scary at the same time as being so special and exciting?

I know I mentioned a little while ago about feeling isolated and away from friends and family, but am feeling it more than ever today. Spoke to a friend today to say that I don't think we'll be in a position to do a 6.5/7 hour round journey from London to Wiltshire much once the baby arrives, certainly not in the first 6 months but we'd love her to come see us if she can, offered her to stay here or in a hotel as I understand they may not fancy being woken up etc.

It ended in what felt like me being told I just won't see them for a long time and that was that.

I'm probably being an idiot but can't help being upset 

Raspberry don't get stressed about how you might feel when the baby is here. Newborns are surprisingly portable. We took dd1 up to see great grandparents and grand parents at from 4 weeks old up to Manchester and Newcastle from London. With lots of scheduled stops. We also took her to Tenerife at 3 months to see grand parents Much easier when they are little to travel before they need solid food and crawling around imo.

raspberry, I hope you don't find me harsh but I feel we have all just reassured you about this...you will see your friends but can't really expect them to visit more than once as they have their own lives too.

Please don't focus on negatives. We have all advised you to join prenatal birthing clubs/groups and mum and baby groups. Usually the prenatal group remain as a little social group who meet up once a week, your other mummy and baby groups will get you out and about, I'm guessing DH will have a day or two off a week...

Ps- once you have a baby you'll be shattered and will probably find that your days are so busy they pass very quickly and you'll be in bed so early each day you won't really feel like being so sociable!!

Everything will be fine...and if you're feeling lonely and isolated after the birth then get on google and book in to as many clubs as you can to get you and your little one out and about. They may not be lasting friendships but they'll be a good support and fun way to pass the time before returning to work.

Mamushka I've been eating like a horse, especially rounds of toast between meals! I still feel nauseous and occasionally throwing up but it hasn't affected by appetite, I feel worse when my stomach is empty. Carrying little bags of nuts with me everywhere.

raspberry I've been feeling quite overwhelmed by it all too, worried about fitting work around children, and feel like I can't do anything any more and my whole life is changing (whilst DH's remains much the same so far)..

I know in my case it's being made much worse by hormones as I cried because I couldn't go running the other day (makes me dizzy and nauseous at the mo).. I hate running at the best of times, only do it begrudgingly for fitness!

Provided the baby doesn't find the car seat a special form of torture, as some do!, travelling with an under 6 month old is actually a lot easier then with an older baby imo. You probably will see slightly less of the friends in Wiltshire, but you probably over reacted a bit towards the end.
My husband and I were trying to remember what set me off last pregnancy, I'm normally not very emotional and very level headed but there was one memorable incident where i completely lost it and was in tears, neither of us can remember what about but we both remember that it happened!
But i can echo what the others have said. You need to find closer friends, preferably ones also expecting. We have no family anywhere nearby.

Morning all, sorry perhaps I hadn't worded things correctly last night, plus further discussion went on around this - the friend had said that unless I go to see her then they won't be seeing us. I'm sorry but I just feel that's selfish. I'm not expecting people to drop things, I understand that they have their own lives too. However, she has no DC - yet still expects us to go visit them with the baby in tow.

Same with my family - we can't leave the dogs overnight - I'm sorry, but if I can make the journey with a newborn, I'm sure that you could either do a day trip or get someone to watch the dogs.

My issue around this is that all I'm hearing constantly is 'when are we going to get to see you' and my response has been, I'm sure we'll still be able to come down, it just won't be as often; but you can come to us, to which I'm then met with negativity about how it's too far for them.

Sonnet, I do appreciate the advice, please don't think I do or haven't done.

I suffer badly with anxiety (result of the Autism) as it is with making new friends and in all honesty I haven't made any since moving to London. It's just not in me, I'm too much of a creature of comforts and whilst I'm looking forward to a coffee with those who are meeting on Thursday - I'm also super nervous about the prospect of it and the likelihood I go home and have a panic attack afterwards is there. I know that everyone will be super lovely, I know it's a great opportunity to meet like minded people who are in the same position as me etc. But my mind sadly works overtime - which is what causes me to get so upset the majority of the time.

I also struggle to find time to go to things, unless it's after work, I simply don't have the time to go to groups even if I wanted to. But I don't get back to where I live until 7.30/8pm most evenings after work so it's almost impossible.

I know that in myself I need to make more of an effort to push myself outside of my comfort barrier, and I'm trying to - I really am, just one day at a time.

I'm 100% with you on the shattered front - I've no doubt I'll feel like that, but I also know I'll continuously hear 'when are you coming to visit - we haven't seen you or the baby for ages' from people and the thought alone winds me up.

In terms of DH - he's literally the most supportive person I know, so very lucky to have him. He has weekends off and works from home so will be home the whole time I'm on Mat Leave, whilst I don't want to be bothering him during his day, I know he'll want to help where he can.

Again, I know I'm probably over reacting... sorry

It sounds like you have many positives in your life- try to focus on them! Have you tried pregnancy yoga? I have a great DVD and DH does it with me!! We have such a laugh doing it. It also helps with stress and anxiety. I am quite an anxious person- perhaps not as much as you- but the yoga really helped.

To be honest, your friends don't sound like great friends. Why not, once baby is born, you put a little meme thing on your Facebook saying you would love visitors but can't travel far as you're just enjoying being a family at home etc. I've seen them on others' facebooks and they really are well worded and hit the right note.