May 2017 #4

[WishIWasSleeping]

Oh, obviously I do know how!

Oh, and has anyone signed up to any of these parenting /baby clubs e.g., cow & gate, boots etc. If you have, which are the ones with the best freebies and vouchers etc?

I'm mostly a lurker normally :) but I had my first scan today - finally! Very wriggly baby who kept rolling around, due date pushed a couple of days to 30th May, finally feels real! Anyone good at gender guesses?!

Barnes we want an all terrain one and are seriously considering the Phil & Teds Sport one, but haven't actually been to look at it yet to confirm if it's definitely what we want/need. It is compatible with the maxi cosi car seats as well if you don't like their own one...

Well, we never actually used our pram... Luckily we were given it by a friend. A stretchy wrap was much more convenient for us.

Same here savagehk, we did have a second hand Silver Cross pram given to us for free but I found it bulky and pointless as my newborn was not happy to be set down in it and much preferred being carried. So we only used a stretchy wrap for first three months, after this he went into a £25 pushchair that had an almost lay-flat position. This lasted him until now age 2.5. I always felt a bit cheap when I saw mum friends with their £1000 buggies next to my £25 one but it's been great! I think I'll get another cheap one to replace it though as it did eventually start getting squeaky wheels

I definitely agree with the theory about the first three months being "the fourth trimester" as most babies want to be held almost 24 hours a day at that stage.

Having said that I have friends who swear by their fancy travel systems so if you see one you love in the sale I'd go for it!

My only word of advice is don't decide based on the little extras like cup holders, snack trays, handbag hooks etc because you can buy "universal" versions of all these things that can attach to any kind of buggy.

Actually I lied, I have another word of advice, carefully consider whether you really want a travel system where the car seat transfers onto the pram, I'm always reading how bad it is for babies to be in that position for longer than 30 minutes so unless you've only got a 10 minute car ride and a 20 minute whizz round a shop it's not really ideal.

Congratulations KJW9716. I'm no good at gender guesses I'm afraid (although my mum swore by the ring test and claimed she was never wrong, so you could try that!). Do you know your real name is visible on the scan pic?

Barnes it is a very expensive minefield! Head to John Lewis and book in for their nursery service. You get to try all the prams plus free cake. I still use the buggy on my travel system (uppababy Cruz) most days, 21m in, but it's definitely an urban pram so no good for you.

Oh, and agree with mamushka about the need for a stretchy wrap for the early months. Mine much preferred it to lying flat in the pram, plus good for breastfeeding.

Welcome lurkers and new peeps! Congrats on your scans, it's really real!!

I just met up with my family who live in another country, they are so excited. My sister keeps looking at my bump/ extra body ( we are a short slim family) and giggling, especially about my boobs! She got biiiiiig when preggo and is back to normal so it's reassuring. My nephew kept looking at scan pic then at my tummy, he's 13. So sweet

Haven't looked at buggies etc. Have to be honest I reckon it'll be strapped to me in a sling for a while. Will look for an all terrain buggy I can jog with when it's bigger though so any ideas handy :)

Have a lovely wknd mums n bumps

Mamushka and Esme thank u for your advice and sharing your experience. I an thinking of secondhand pram or buying sth on the sales.

I have an icsndy peach and love it. We used it as a single for dd1 in 2012 and a double when dd2 arrived in 2014. She is not a big walker so it gets used on the school run every day still. The new baby will be in it to so even if it was pricey it's will see us through the 3 of them. Plus in the mean time we have loaned the unused carrycot etc to my brother!

May I join on the 24th? I work near there.

DH and I are off to the Baby and Toddler show at the ExCel today just to have a nosey.

I hear lots of ladies who want to use slings rather than pushchairs - I'm reading a Gina Ford book on recommendation from my SIL who's a Norland Nanny and both advise to try and steer clear of them as their thoughts are it can lead to LO becoming to dependant on being carried.

I've got a Moses basket and am going for a nursing chair and pillow I think for breast feeding.

It's very interesting though reading everyone's different opinions on what each will do or wants to try.

I used an ergonomic as well for dd1 from 6-12 months as my dad was ill and I took her in to central London nearly everyday to see him it was amazing.

For dd2 I used close Caboo most days up to 3 months when she was too heavy then swapped to the ergo.

It was great having hands free to play with dd1 and make dinner I wished I had had one with dd1 for the first few months

I'm also thinking about iCandy peach double mcbaby I like the fact you can use it as a single too. We have the iCandy strawberry 2 which I use most days and a Baby zen Yoyo for travelling as it folds up small. I think I will get a Close Caboo too, it will be so useful to have free hands for the toddler!

raspberry Gina Ford's style is the opposite of attachment-type parenting so not surprised she isn't keen on slings!

Not that I don't want my child to have a bond with me or to be close to DC, but both DH and I work full time and intend on going back to work FT pretty quickly after the birth so I want LO to know that we love them of course and we will spend time with them having cuddles and play time etc, but for them to get a good routine early on.

I may be being a little controversial here though...

I must admit I'm not a fan of Gina Ford ... I read her contented little baby book before DS1 was due and thought oh, this seems like sensible advice. But literally a day or two after my baby actually arrived I threw the Gina Ford book in the bin and bought No Cry Sleep Solution on Amazon instead. The author advocates gentle parenting and is basically the complete antithesis to Gina Ford

You may find that Gina's methods work for you and your family and that's great - maybe you'll end up with a fantastic sleeper and a great routine as a result. But I would keep an open mind because once that tiny little helpless person arrives in your life and is completely dependent on you in every way you might promptly forget all you read about routines, not carrying baby too much etc. I was fully intending on doing all the controlled crying stuff but once I heard my own baby cry instinct took over. I also found that carrying them in a sling is less stressful as they stay pretty happy, sleep easily and you can get on with all sorts of things at the same time.

Interestingly a lot of people who are into "attachment parenting" find that their babies/toddlers are actually more independent and less clingy because they feel secure that when they really need their mummy, their needs will be met immediately, whereas babies who have been left to cry can sometimes be more clingy as they're worried they won't get what they need.

Personally with our first we did a bit of a mix, not religiously attachment parenting or any particular approach. We loved slings, breastfed, he was not left to cry etc. but on the other hand, we didn't co-sleep, DS was in his own room from around 2 or 3 months old, and we did introduce routines etc.

I'm not saying don't bother with Gina Ford but I think it's good to know that if her routines and advice don't work out for you it doesn't necessarily mean you will end up with a clingy, whiny toddler who needs constant carrying

Sound advice from mamushka. You might not find out what works for you and your baby until they're here.

I think routines are brilliant for older babies though, it changed my life once DS was on solids and I started scheduling feeds/meals and put him in his own room etc. However imo newborns are too tiny and unpredictable in the early days and certainly my baby needed boob constantly loads more than I realised he would and would only nap on me.

If you're interested have a look for the channel 4 series Bringing Up Baby on YouTube, it is a sort of highly unethical experiment of 3 ways of dealing with newborns. The strict routine and the attachment regimes are both quite extreme and then there's a sort of middle ground 'use your instinct' one, I found it quite fascinating.

Mamushka well said. I intend (have to) come back to work ft but at the mo I am keeping my mind open. One thing is certain: the baby will turn our lives upside down and it will be different. I am very curious what the baby's temperament is going to be. It's fascinating!

I may change my mind after endless hours of being sleep-deprived so don't quote me later on

I think it's safe to say the babies are already used to being carried around all the time by the time they are born! I'm a subscriber to the fourth trimester theory too.

This is quite a scientific response to Gina Ford! evolutionaryparenting.com/a-response-to-gina-fords-golden-rules/

I remember reading Gina Ford in desperation in the first wks with dd and laughing at her 'put the baby in the cot awake for a 40 min nap'. Had I done that it would have been 40 min of screaming. Unfortunately, so much depends on the personality of the baby. Some of our nct group had newborns where you barely saw awake for months, some, like mine, were extremely alert from just a few weeks. And there is no way of knowing what you'll get. Naps in the sling saved my sanity (and its rubbish what people say about bad habits, she's not bothered about being carried at all now )

cinnamon high five for the 3rd. have you got your fingers crossed for a May Bank Holiday baby? Fingers and toes crossed here (perhaps that should be legs crossed)

Loving the debate and definitely going to check out Bringing Up Baby lullaby

Does anyone recommend the icandy peach or have any experience of it?

Lullaby I'll be sure to take a look at the C4 thing tomorrow.

Anyone planning on going to the Baby and Toddler show tomorrow. It was ok, but not an awful lot going on there if I'm honest. A ton of pushchairs and boutique clothing companies but not much else.

Confirmed that we still want to go with the Silvercross Wayfarer Chelsea, although I do really like the Eton as well, but it's a lot more expensive for not a lot of reason.

We may have a look at some other furniture options this weekend too after something we saw on display at the show.

Hi everyone,

Newly joined the group as had my scan on Monday so all feeling real now. Had a missed miscarriage last year at the 12 week scan so was feeling quite nervous but have started to enjoy being pregnant this week and think about names etc!

I am totally overwhelmed by pram choices! We have dogs/live in the country so think we'll need something all terrain once too big to have baby in a carrier.