Thread 13. TTC #1 Grads. Some of us still remember that thing called "a full nights sleep" for most, it's a mere memory.

[AudreyBradshaw]

Behold, the wonder of birth! Members from 6 weeks bfp to post-partum wonder Mamas! No question to grotty or minging.

We've come full circle from obsessing about cervical mucus to now obsessing if it's our vagina baby plug going! What larks!

Lots of talk about poo, ours and now babies too! Baby brain is REAL! From morning sickness in the first trimester to the third trimester struggle of getting out of bed ( "walrus-ing"in our house), to actual real babies who are growing so fast! Discussion on the merits of sleepyhead and Ewan the dream sheep.

Sooo many gorgeous babies now! And equally lovely Mummy's! We are amazing! What a year! Can you believe it's been a year since our first tentative TTC thread!? Look how far we've come!

Roll up, literally, in my case, cause I'm practically rotund! for TTC #1 Grads!

Glad you're feeling better Miley and bunch. It's awful feeling ill with baby - speaking of which I'm now on my 6th UTI since A was born 11 weeks ago. Yes, 6th.

Re car seat - A just wears her normal clothes and I put a blanket over her. She also wears a hat on the car to begin with and once it's heated up I take it off. In the pram she wears a snow suit plus blanket plus fleecy pram cover thing.

I also hate staying in the house all day. I HAVE to get out and I do - even if it's just the corner shop on a tricky day.

Pink we've only DTD once too. To be honest I'm confused as to how I'd manage it more regularly! A doesn't go down til 10.30-11ish by which time I want to go to bed myself - to sleep! And during the day she only naps in the pram when we're out or on one of us so not sure when we'd be able to! Only time we've managed it was when she went down at 9.30 for the one and only time!

Congratulations Starkey!!!

Potato one of my friends accidentally bopped their baby on the head and there was much crying but all was forgotten soon!

Started getting UTI symptoms again, dropped a sample off at the doctors and lo! Still have an infection. This has been a near constant thing since week 10 now.

Re. Dtd. T is over 11 weeks now and we've not even come close! We're both too knackered, plus sleeping in the same room has been hit and miss depending on whether T is screaming all night or not.

Hopefully when he's off over Christmas...

Congratulations stardrey!!!! So happy for you.

Will try to catch up properly in a little while. I have a very clingy baby today and have just managed to peel her off me to give to DH so I can actually wash!

Hope everyone is doing well x

Oh Fishy that's miserable have they tried different strains of antibiotics?

And Soda too. UTIs are horrible at the best of times nevermind when pregnant or with a baby.

I'm really distracted at work this afternoon and struggling to concentrate, have been feeling quite a bit of movement and that's all I can focus on!! Work seems very unimprtant right now!

We're off to Gran Canaria for 5 days of R&R May! Not our type of usual holiday at all but looking forward to finally having a chance to spend some quality time with DH and also think we will need the rest! The kitchen should be done by Christmas fingers crossed! I think we've hopefully had all the unexpected setbacks now but I've probably just tempted fate by saying that now!

What makes you think you'll go early May? Very strange to be the next one!! Doesn't feel real.

That's funny bunch! So you mind your birthday being close to Christmas?

Bunch unbelievable timing right there - talk about putting the baby's needs first. Hopefully this will be one of those episodes you can look back at with laughter/amazement.

Soda that's incredibly unlucky with the UTIs. I hope this is the last of them for you! And you as well Lovely!

Holiday sounds lovely Marmite. We went to Lanzarote in the second trimester and it was such good timing for a relaxing holiday. I wish we could do it again before the baby comes! Fingers crossed on the kitchen.

Feef my family have a tendency to go early, not that that probably means much for me. I was the only baby who came late, but mum only laboured for an hour so I guess that evened things out! OH should be off Christmas week at least. He'll be commuting if I go right up to my due date, so could be 90 miles away with no signal when I go into labour... Going early could be a bit of wishful thinking

Suggestions welcome - my sister is coming from Canada and visiting me for 10 days. We're hoping she'll be here for the birth, but obviously can't guarantee anything. Her babies were either bang on time, 7 or 17 days early. My mum was 10 days early with her, and a week late with me. I'm the same blood group (A+) and body type as my sister, but am older than she was when she had her children. And that's me out of old wives tales.
Anyhow, I'm due on the 5th of January, and we're not sure how to time her visit. We'd all be gutted if the baby came after she had to go back home!

Soda, that must be some kind of UTI record, you poor thing! Do antibiotics help, or do you think your body is resisting them?

Sorry for you too, Fishy!

May - something like that, or just classes at the local pool. Agree main pool will be too cold - think it has to be a special baby/ family pool. I'm going to investigate at my local leisure centre.

For your sister, I'd recommend getting her to come later, even if it means doing a 'second Christmas' when she's here. As you say, it would be gutting if the baby hadn't arrived, but if she's here and the baby is already a week old or so, that's fine (and maybe even better as the first few days are crazy).

Irregular - we're the same as you on dtd. Not avoiding it, but don't really feel desperate for it, and she's right in the crib next to us. Not that I'd hugely care - more that she's a light sleeper!

Marmite - we had our kitchen done just before the baby was born. It was a late decision around May\June time, as we figured we'd never get it done once she was born (and it really needed doing it, and was the last room in the house to do). It ended up taking a few weeks and ran over (they had to finish last bits off after she was born), but I'm so pleased we did it. It makes all the difference, and I'm so happy with it. I'm sure yours will be great when it's done, and so worth it.

Just come back from Q's first vaccinations. Now I know why you all said you it so distressing for mums. I've never heard her cry like that before :( Anyway, all over now, and she's sleeping on me. She hasn't fed much - is that normal?

lisa totally normal. They wiped Harrison out for 48 hours - he had to be woken for a feed which is completely unheard of with him! Plenty cuddles and catch up on your programme's

may my advice would be the same as lisa! Could she extend her stay 10 days past your due date? I'm not sure if you can request to be induced earlier than the usual 10 days?
Just found this - bit long but rather funny :
20 things to know when you've just pushed out a baby:

1. The after pains. Pain. After. Who knew? When God designed women to give birth, he well and truly screwed us over....
2. Your first wee. Take a jug with you and pour it over your bits like you're trying to be a star in some very disturbing porno. It helps.

3.. Your first poo. Do not panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember the size of the thing you pushed out of the front bit, and the prospect of pushing out what's in the back bit won't be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do...

1. Your baby looks weird. Like... Really weird. 'Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby' etc will be said at you and you'll accept other people's opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.
2. Their downstairs bits are ridiculous. You will worry about the impact they will have on their lives should they stay like that. Boys little nuggets are the size of whole walnut whips, but their willies are the size of the walnuts on the top that nobody wants. Apparently this 'swelling' goes down soon. If it doesn't, expect 'big bollocks' to be part of your sons school nickname.
3. Their first poo is not actually poo. It's tar. The midwives sneak in over night, fill your baby's nappy with treacle and then test you to see if you know to get rid of it, or to see if you decide to take one look at it and start googling 'why do nappies come pre-filled with marmite?'
4. Your first shower will be like a scene from Carrie. It's normal. It may feel like you'll never be right again and that you'll walk like John Wayne forever, and you might, but you'll feel so much better for the shower. You're literally washing away your sins. (If the baby was born out of wedlock anyway....)
5. Midwives like babies. They will come and pick yours up with no prior warning. They will squeeze their testicles, massage their tummies to make them crap, and fiddle with their face so much you're sure the baby looks like it's had botox when they give it back.
6. Your baby hates you. It's not crying. It's communicating with its master- the devil- about how successful their plan to destroy you is going. Seriously - it doesn't actually hate you. It may seem like it never cries when anyone else holds it or that it enjoys keeping you up all night, but really, it is so dependant on you it's embarrassing. Human babies are embarrassing.

10. You will say the word 'latch' more than you have ever said it in your life. And the idea of a tiny person casually sucking on your nipples suddenly becomes a reality. At this moment, you will feel like an actual proper mum. And a cow. 11. There are people in hospital that can smell your vulnerability. They will take photos of your baby looking cute and then try and charge you a million pounds for it. They will scroll through the 50 photos they've taken of your baby in the same position, asking you to choose your favourites. and if you've got a partner like mine, that means you will have to re-mortgage your house by the time he's done... 12. The hospital food is as bad as it is so that people decide they would rather be in pain and at home than eating 'peaches and custard'. The custard is hot wee with a splash of breast milk mixed in, and the peaches are body parts that have been soaked in sugar over night. And don't eat the chocolate mousse. Just don't. 13. It farts. It burps. It hiccups. It makes weird noises in its sleep that make you think you're going to wake up and see Chucky in the cot- head spinning and laughing. You hope people know it's the baby and not you. Not that you'd know if you were farting. Your sphincter muscle control is somewhat lacking at the moment. 14. Everyone you've ever met will want to come to the hospital to see you. People get overexcited about visiting hospitals. They feel VIP when they walk in to a ward. You are a VIP- a very in-pain person. And you look and feel like death. So only accept visitors if you are up to it. You're still so high on drugs that making conversation with adults is like trying to sieve flour with a fishing net. Everything just pours out of you and none of the shit is stopped getting through... 15. Your tummy is now resembling a balloon that's slowly deflating and feeling very sorry for itself. If you press it, you instantly conclude that it would make a fantastic trampoline for Stuart Little. Or that if you sliced it up right now, the hospital kitchen staff would use it and palm it off as nectarine jelly.. 16. They want you on contraception straight away. Countless midwives will come and talk to you about how fertile you are and how likely you are to become pregnant again. They do however forget one crucial thing- you're never having sex again. You never want to see a penis again. And if one comes near you, you'll most likely destroy it for the sake of women everywhere. The end. 17. Everything's angry. Your brain is angry, your eyes are angry, your tummy, your bladder, your bum. Your vagina isn't angry. It's f@&king livid. Give it a while to calm down but right now, you and she ain't friends... 18. People ask you if your milk has come in yet, and you half expect somebody dressed in a cravendale costume to waltz through the door and stay with you forever, handing you milk as and when your baby needs it. Not true. What actually happens is that, about 3 days in, your boobs start to leak like they have forgotten they are breasts and now believe they are garden sprinklers. Whose garden you don't know, but at the rate they start pouring out it must be the Queen's... 19. They want you to go home ASAP. You are taking up valuable bed space and now you have delivered your stinky human bundle and they've checked it over to make sure it isn't a live Picasso painting, you're free to leave. Don't. Not until you're ready. Get all the help and advice you need before going home. Because once you're at home, your baby is expecting you to know what you're doing and you'll wish you'd stayed longer at the hospital. If to only delay the car seat fiasco a little longer... 20. Stop worrying. You're not superwoman. There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby's normal. You are your baby's perfect. They aren't judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It's a piece of 'oh my god I can't do this'. You can. And everyday will get easier. Breath mummy. You just grew and pushed out a mini Mitchell brother. There's nothing you can't do. Except sleep. You can't do that anymore.

Hope Q feels better soon lisa.

I think having your sister come later and doing second Christmas is a good option at least she won't miss the birth that way May plus you'll probably not be much in the mood for entertaining her during the last few weeks!

I have no idea whether I'll be soon or ages away. No strong feelings either way, my mum was late with us my sister doesn't have children. Wish I had some kind of inclination

Some kind of inkling

Totally normal Lisa. Tamsin was so zonked that she missed a feed. She does not normally miss feeds!

Miley that's great - I'd forgotten that latch isn't a normal everyday word to most people...

Congrats stardrey!!!! Glad bub is finally here and so happy for you, you sound so in love!

Hope you're all feeling better and your bubs miley, bunch and lisa. Love that list miley! Hilarious!

Soda that is tough going with the UTIs - do the docs have an idea why it keeps happening? Wonder if you've built up immunity to the antibiotics

Had a soul destroying and maddening tough night of cluster feeding last night. Bub was hungry then not then starving again 15 minutes later. It was for good reason I guess because I put her down at midnight and I didn't get a room service call from her until 5am! She slept (and so did i) for 5 hours! That is a record. Must have been the cluster feeding or the face that we pulled out all the stops - dummy, Ewan and the sleepyhead in the cot. I know the midwives and house visitors frown on it but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Is it true the cluster feeds end after 6-8 weeks? It is so exhausting and the least enjoyable part of motherhood. I don't mind getting woken up to feed in the middle of the night but I do mind feeding non stop from 7 to 1am maddening!!

lillian mostly, yes. Harrison still has the odd episode now but it's usually when he's over tired so a dark room and a cuddle and dummy usually do the trick. It does get better I promise! I remember being glued to the settee every night from 6 til 10 bugger what the HV thinks. Guidelines are just that.

feef I wouldn't base it on genetics - my mum was 2 weeks over with my eldest brother, 7 days with my middle and 10 days with me. Harrison was 3 weeks and 5 days early the waiting game is definitely tough physically and mentally but hang in there - will all be a distant memory and totally worth it!

Feefs it makes this time of year super exciting when a child. It can only be annoying with the people who cop out with a joint birthday/Christmas gift but I'm over that since an adult

Miley that post made me laugh so much!

Soda maybe we should set up a UTI survivors club?! Daft how the damn thing can hang around for so long!!

Marmite they've got very hooked on giving me Amoxacillin as I tested positive for strep b back at week 10. However it's not shifted it, no longer showing strep b, I think I need some of the good old Trimepathin!

Lisa apparently you need a double layer nappy system. It takes ages to drain and clean the pool after an accident.. OH has been there in the last leisure centre he worked in! I hope you've both recovered from vaccinations. My health visitor has already warned me about the trauma..

Good suggestions re my sister ladies, thanks! I did want her her when I go into labour. I'm not sure OH will survive. I get annoyed with him quite easily and he often winds me up on purpose. Hopefully labour will be different. My sister knows just what to do and works with newborns and I'd just love to have her here.

Miley I'm not sure what the guidance on induction is here. My midwives are a little reluctant to discuss a birth plan with me, and I am seeing the supervisor of midwives next week. What a title! My sister can't take more leave - she only gets 3 weeks a year and is using 2 of them on me!
Not sure what I'm looking forward to most on that list.. maybe saying 'latch' more?

Feef I wish it were possibly to predict when baby decides to make an appearance. It's hard to be making or avoiding making plans this time of year!

Lillian are you able to do anything to distract yourself during the epic feeding sessions? Not that I have any experience at all in this area. I've stocked up on online tv services and repositioned the fish tank so I can see it from the sofa in case I can't reach the tv remote. There's a lot of wishful thinking involved in my baby preparation! Anyhow, I hope it gets easier and more enjoyable for you

Lovely hopefully you'll find something to shift the UTI! I was advised to get retested for strep B between 35 and 37 weeks, as it can come and go during pregnancy

Thanks all. I've had loads of different antibiotics but it's tricky with breastfeeding. I've also had a kidney scan but nothing showed up (which is good but also annoying because they don't know why I keep getting infections). Fishy I also had infections during pregnancy and I was put on a low dose of amoxicillin every day as a preventative drug which worked well. No trimethoprim during pregnancy I'm afraid!

Lillian - Alexa was a massive cluster feeder! She's now 11 weeks and is much better. Evenings are really tough when you're glued to the sofa feeding all the time but it does get better.

Lisa injections are horrid aren't they? Alexa was wiped out the afternoon of the jabs but was then really miserable all evening and didn't sleep at all but the next day and night she slept loads. Good luck!

May - I initially laughed out loud at your fish tank repositioning, but then I actually realised it's a very good idea!

There have been a number of times when I've set myself up on the sofa for feeding, only for her to fall asleep and the TV programme to end. It's not that I end up watching whatever is on next, it's that sometimes I'm stuck with the blue screen on Sky that says 'programmed ended', and it takes ages to automatically go away if I can't reach the remote as she's fallen asleep! I'd love a fish tank to look at!

Lisa I love my fish tank! Even more when OH is the one to clean it (and the cat litter) out. I hope these pregnancy perks don't go away once the baby arrives.

In repositioning the fish tank I've decided the sofa isn't the optimal place to feed. I can't get comfy sitting upright, and need quite a few pillows behind my back to sit up relatively straight. And it's leather, so very cold in winter. I sense a new chair being purchased, and the whole room needing rearranging now to accommodate it. Bloody fish.

Arya seems to have forgiven me and we're back on speaking terms

Pink Arya goes in her car seat in a sleep suit and fluffy blanket plus a jumper when it's properly cold. We don't tend to keep her in the car seat to walk around with and she has a 2.5tog sleeping bag plus the muff on her carry cot.

Nev Bodhi's already in his pushchair attachment? I keep umming and areing about putting Arya in that but she's not entirely grown out of the carry cot yet and she loves it... and I don't want to rush as I keep thinking that once she's grown out of the carry cot that's it, she'll never be that tiny again.

Miley glad you're feeling better

Marmite shame about the kitchen. We've finally got the cabin water tight just in time for the frost. OH has a flood light so that he can work in there in the evenings now

Soda, Lovely those UTIs sound awful!

Lisa hope you're both feeling better after vaccinations

Lillian sorry you've had a tough night.

Arya has been a bit fussy the past few days. I'm not sure why. One minute she'll be laughing the next she'll be fussing. I do wonder whether she's getting bored, she's in that in between stage where she can't play with activity toys but she doesn't just want to sit or lay around any more. Not sure what to do with her at the moment.

I've got a new company to work with on my blog. I'm being sent a craft beer hamper this time. Yay!

Thanks miley that's what I need to hear!! Was trying to walk and do a bit more yesterday to see if I could move anything along but just ended up with a sleepless night due to spd instead!

That's good bunch mine is after Christmas and I thought it was worse especially as a teenager/early twenties as everyone was skint when it came to a night out!

Morning ladies,
I'm suffering terribly with cracked and bleeding nipples. My right one especially is agony so I've had to express it and just use bottles to feed Autumn. It's making me turn off BF, I usually love BF but the pain is so bad. Anyone got any suggestions for sore nipples?
I've also just tried expressing my right one and only got 2.5 oz when usually I would get around 4/5oz. I don't know if I have a blockage in there.
I'm meant to be going for a spa afternoon today but I don't think there's any chance of my lying on my front to get a back massage

Miley/bunch I hope you're both feeling better today. It's terrible being ill with a baby, there's not time for you to just rest. I hope your OH's are helping and giving you a little bit of rest time.

Lovely/fish I can't believe you've had so many UTI's you poor things!

Lillian the cluster feeding will stop soon. Autumn had a few nights in the first few weeks of cluster feeding and it was so draining! The only positive is that she slept 5/6 hours afterwards! Hope it doesn't last long for you.

I hope Quinn is feeling ok today after her jabs Lisa. Autumn has hers tomorrow so I'm not looking forward to the next couple of days.

I hope you and baba are doing well audrey!

Sorry to anyone I've missed, hope you're all doing well x

Potato yes but he hated the carrycot he used to scream his lungs out in it!

People worrying about jabs they may be absolutely fine within 30 seconds of them being done Bods was back to normal and never had any issues following them. You never know yours may be fine too!

Feef my DM and Dsis went at 38w for all their kids but I stubbornly went to term and had an induction for stop start labour! You never know really I think.

Miley, indi and soda good to know the cluster feeding will taper off - atm she has a cluster feed day every 2-3 days! But yes I am rewarded with a long 5 hour sleep after

May I love that you're getting ready to arrange your living room around marathon feeding sessions. We need to invent a mama moo cow belt you can attach mobile phone, remote control, lip balm (anyone else's lips getting super dry?) etc too while you're stuck on the sofa! Hope you go into labour for when your Dsis can be there and the first week after.

Indi I just use the Lanisoh cream also leaving a bit of breast milk on the nipple helps with the healing. If you think you have a blockage try massaging or hot compress? I use these Avent hot and cold breast pads they sell on boots - let me know if you want the link.

Potato good to hear things are moving on your blog!

Bub is 5 weeks and is now more alert with more awake time and is focusing on our faces and Ewan more. I think it's time I got her a baby gym or a bouncer with toys as she's getting bored of the ceiling now! Any recommendations for a baby gym or bouncer/rocker?