Late December - Early January Thread 2!

[Bella1985]

Hi! We're on to our 2nd thread for babies due at the end of December/Early January. 3rd trimester is in sight...!

It was hard in January. But just one of those things. It didn't help That a close family member was in a car accident the day I was in hospital & ended up in intensive care & then a family member of DHs died. Hopefully finishing the year a bit better than it started! I had the injection for DS (without consent but happy with decision) so assumed I would go with injection. Will see what happens. 1 thing I learnt with DS is that it's good to have an idea of what you want but be prepared for things to not go the way you want it to. I wasn't prepared for that I don't think & found it very stressful. I'll be trying to go with the flow more this time.

Sounds like a rough time emz - hope that you end the year on a better note. Good luck with the placenta thing, hopefully it isn't as bad as it sounds if you have to have it manually removed.

Thanks for all the advice re nursaries. Lots to think about!

emz the school will be teaching babyBella English formally in year 2 but as children are sponge-like they tend to pick up a lot from tv, radio, other children they come in to contact with and flitter quite naturally between two languages, it's very clever how they know which language to use with people, we've been amazed at our niece who has an English speaking set of grandparents and a Welsh speaking set and she justs adjusts accordingly! It was funny how her English accent was American for a while, due to her obsession with disney films, but it sounds more local since attending school and picking it up from other children!

Oh no, I was going to put baby's hospital stuff in the changing bag (once i buy a bag) so its currently in a reusable shopping bag at the mo...it probably won't all fit in the changing bag...

Also, welcome to the head down club colonol

I'm sure it'll be fine. At least the midwives will be aware & take extra precautions. Children are so much more resilient & take things in their stride. It's amazing to watch as a parent. Is it just life that makes us change as adults? My DS continues to amaze me as his vocab develops. He'll come out with sentences where he's heard us talking. Luckily nothing bad yet! We try not to refer to each other by name but as mummy & daddy yet he's picked up on our "real" names & is playing with calling us by name. He knows he doing it as he laughs. So intrigued to meet this little one. I just explained the DH hoe much it's stressing me out that there's so much to do still. He's now done the man thing and come up with a practical plan to get it all sorted.

Apologies for the double post but... Not sure I'm really pleased about joining head down club! The weight & pressure down below is definitely increased today. Feel like I'm waddling (have been assured I'm not) and I'm finding myself carrying the bump. I'm not even that big yet! Think I need to get a new coat. Iv outgrown mine & it's getting so cold!!!

I'm waddling. I've given up trying not to...it was embarrassing to begin with as I felt it was too soon to be waddling at 28 weeks but 4 weeks later and I'm in the who cares camp! I'm just telling people that I'm due next month now rather than the end of December as I look so big, waddle and have a face that says "dare mess with me"

You sort of get used to the pressure after a while, until baby moves or you bend to a weird position and then start ah-ah-ahing when trying to move out of it!

As baby isn't engaged I'm not waddling yet but expect to. Oh Bella, I'd do the same as you. People are so judgmental. My hips are so achey today. Hoping DSs swimming lesson might help. It's nice getting in the water but when you get out.... You certainly feel the weight! I woke at 4am this morning & my hips were so painful.

So my fundal height is 35... That would explain why I look so big! Luckily I had the growth scan on Monday and baby was fine so MW not concerned.

MW suggested swimming for my SPD but I'm quite worried about how it will feel when I get out of the water. My hips are painful at night too, it's a right ffaff having to turn all the time because of it.

I did have lots of nice comments in work today about my bump though and I realised that I'm rather going to miss it!! I've totally embraced the tight tops and stripes look so will be sad when I'm back to concealing lumps and bumps post pregnancy!

Had another breastfeeding lecture with the MW at today's appointment. I feel at times that she's stretching the appointment out because there isn't much to cover at this stage. She gave me a book a while ago that covers everything to do with pregnancy and baby's first months which includes all this info, and I've also said I'm hoping to breastfeed for at least 3-4 months but still I had to listen to all the pros..! I'm pretty sure this is the 4th time I've heard this spiel!

Ah bella - it's so good that you had the scan so you're not worried! It just goes to show how wrong the bump measurement can be - I almost wonder why they do it?

They really do hammer the breast feeding thing in don't they, like you say even when you've already said you're going to do it! I remember getting all the leaflets and magazines at the first midwives appointment, and even though I was totally sold on breastfeeding already it really did feel like they almost wanted to brainwash (not the right word but I can't think of a better one - feel totally dead today) people into it.

Happy 32 weeks due date buddies! ONLY EIGHT WEEKS TO GO WHAT THE

According to research fundal height measurement is only about 65% accurate.. With DD I had different MWs giving different measurements causing quite a lot of concern. At one point my measurements were regressing .

I think they have gone overboard with the breast is best thing. in most post natal wards some MWs are reluctant to discharge FTMs until they are sure mum can breastfeed. I had this issue with DD being small yet the MWs were quite unsympathetic and told me to "JUST keep trying" without giving any assistance. DD was unsettled all day because she was hungry and I'm sure it contributed to us being discharged only 2d post delivery. my HV referred me to a lactation consultant after I had mastitis twice (pain, fever, chills, awful awful) and it was only after a few meetings with the lactation consultant that breastfeeding took off (when DD was 3-4w old). Some mums are natural pros and some have to learn how to BF so if you feel like something's not right, get help. This time round I plan to tell them from the off that I'm mix feeding so they get off my back. That said I will try to exclusively feed breastmilk for the first 3m from bottle and breast. But intending to bring Aptamil starter ready to feed pack anyway just in case my milk doesn't come in before that.

I found they did the whole "breast is best" thing but didn't actually help you to achieve this. I had no support considering DS was premmie and only managed to breastfed due to sheer willpower, stubbornness & YouTube videos! Oh and support from DH who was amazing. Certainly didn't come naturally to me & it hurt no matter what the latch for a few weeks until things "toughened" up.

Just had an emotional meltdown. Had a really upset stomach & sickness followed by losing some mucus (sorry for tmi) and then noticed some dried blood upon wiping. Had a little panic. Called community midwife who only works Monday's & Wednesday's. (Brilliant!) so called my hospital. Spoke to a lovely midwife who said it's probably some of my mucus plug & a bug. She said you can lose some plug without it meaning anything. Had a proper panic just then that it was all happening early again! My poor DH who came up with all manner of explanations to try & calm me! Baby is now going nuts!

8 weeks to go!!

emz that surgery sounds really tough. It's amazing what we all go through. I had my first antenatal class this week and of the 7 of us in the class, one lady had 4 prior miscarriages and one had an ectopic that required surgery & then a miscarriage. And they're just the 2 that actually spoke up. This baby making business is tough.

Glad all is ok with the bug too although omg at starting to lose plug. I've been a bit digestively challenged the last couple of days too. Think I'm running out of room!

Can highly recommend swimming, or even just walking in the pool. I think it all just gets heavy and draggy from here on in. I did yoga today and I am definitely starting to feel more restricted in my movement. Am sort of regretting deciding to work the whole way through to 38.5w - am exhausted! And my diary is basically completely full between now and then. Oh well. I can just be sleep deprived for the next...well, forever!

Oh no emz poor you. It must be really worrysome for you as you've had an early birth before aswell. TMI alert here too, I seem to be producing some more discharge than usual, any chance it was just that and not part of the actual plug? At least the MW said its normal to lose some plug and not go into labour. I would have had a meltdown too if I was you. Hope you rest tonight and things settle down over the weekend

colonol brainwash - patronise - force - there are a lot of words that could describe the breastfeeding obssession and how it feels to be on the receiving end of yet another talk about it...

I'm definitely producing lots of discharge. I'm guessing it's normal bella. Hope all our babies stay put at least for a few more weeks!

Yes I think miscarriages are remarkably common. My first pregnancy ended in one at 7.5 weeks & Then I had DS. We decided to try again & then I got pregnant for a 3rd time, once I got to 8 weeks I felt safe, only to be told it was a missed miscarriage. Iv been lucky that Iv conceived quite quickly each time. Hard to trust my body tho. Hoping this is 4th time lucky for a full term baby. Making babies is a very tricky business which is strange for something supposed to be basic nature. But it is all worth it in the end.

Iv had more discharge, this was definitely more gloopy & mucusy. Sorry tmi! Tried not to worry but been half expecting my waters to go.

The feeding lectures are hard, they need to be more supportive rather than just reading the NHS script. If they were more supportive (& less patronising) they would find the take up a bit better I'm sure. Really hoping these babies stay put for another 5-6 weeks. 32 weeks Monday. Well done for those already at 32 weeks.

Happy 32 (plus or minus a bit) weeks all!

I've not done much on the nursery/childcare front. I made some enquiries about a month ago and all the nurseries I called said there would be no issue with spaces (so I haven't reserved anything, or even looked). But I did find very few local to me which allowed drop off before 8. I'm outer West London and was so surprised by this. All the childminders I called could not definitively say they would have space until nearer the time. I'm going to hope for the best and leave more research till Jan/Feb time!

I can join you on the discharge front- not nice! Tmi, but I had a panic I was slowly leaking my waters I was so damp

For those of you who got the Harrow M&P furniture, can I ask if you still like it and what colour did you go for? I think we are going to take the plunge and buy it this weekend and go for the white set. We won't be able to build it for a month (hopefully), but at least we will have it ready in case baby arrives early.

Stealth - I'm with you on the tiredness. I not been sleeping after about 5 and so have been going to work early to avoid waking OH up with my tossing and turning. I'm mentally and physically knackered as although starting work early, I'm finding I'm not finishing any earlier. Must be more strict on myself!

It's sad that so many have had miscarriages and it's not been spoken about. I've been very fortunate for the first pregnancy to progress to where I am today but so many friends and colleagues opened up to me during the early days to say that they'd lost babies. I had no idea miscarriages were so common.

I'm very similar to you admarks although I start work early in order to get a parking space close to the office, but still end up going home same time as usual- will have to start getting more strict and go home when others who start early leave.

emz I remember reading somewhere that the whole plug can come out a month or so before labour starts so hopefully you'll last that long (and more) as at least that will be closer to full term.

A colleague brought in his 2 week old baby to see us today, I fell in love and didn't want to give him back! He was so wriggly and cute, it made me very happy to be pregnant. Glad my milk didn't come in though, I'm worried it will happen at work

Admarks our Harrow set arrived today so it is still in boxes in the living room at the moment as we are getting new flooring put down in the baby's room over the weekend. We went for the white. I think it's Col who's already assembled it. There seems to be an awful lot of it (about 7 boxes?) and the mattress that I got with it looks huge. Think I may have underestimated the size of the cot
Sending huge hugs to those who have experienced the pain of miscarriage. I spent 4 years over on the conception board and sadly it is remarkably common.
We saw a different consultant at our appointment yesterday who's specialism is IVF (he actually did my ECs when we had private treatment) and he said he doesn't like IVF pregnancies going beyond EDD and recommends induction between 39-40 weeks. I have heard of this before but it's never been mentioned to me directly and I'm not thrilled at the prospect of being induced. It also scuppered my plans to ask to be transferred back to midwife led care. We were only referred to the consultant because they suspected I had a fibroid (I don't) but this consultant said that not only am I old but all IVF pregnancies are regarded as high risk and, as such, I should be consultant led. This completely contradicts what I was told initially - that an IVF pregnancy alone doesn't constitute high risk. Obviously we aren't going to take any chances but I can't help thinking that had we not seen him yesterday this wouldn't have come up. Weeks 39-40 for me will be 21st - 28th December so if we do decide on induction then I'm going to push for after Christmas (assuming baby doesn't make his own way first of course!). However, I suspect this will all depend on who our next appointment is with. We've seen 4 different consultants so far and none of them have been out named one!
Hope everyone is well and has a good weekend.

Glad it's not just me that's worried about leaking waters. Such a glamorous job growing a baby! Admarks, a family member made the cotbed we have & it wasn't finished until DS was 6 months old so we had no choice about him staying in with us until then. I was starting to sweat towards the end & he looked very cosy in his Moses basket!!! You should have plenty of time to get the nursery organised. I really need to get organised, DH just pointed out that had it been labour today, we epild not be organised at all. The car seat still needs cleaning & washing. Oops.

The tiredness is really tough. I'm waking around 6am and by 8pm in falling asleep on the sofa. Just crawled into bed & it feels like midnight!

We all have different challenges with making & having babies. It's not easy but worth it. Iv tried to feel positive & lucky (strange as that sounds) although that's only possible once you look back I guess. Iv got my rainbow babies in the end.

A friend had IVF and wasn't told she was going to be induced. Baby arrived 2 days before due date I think & she was 35 at the time. (Not sure what they class as "old"). I guess, like any health care, it depends on the health professional you see. All of them have their own thoughts & procedures. Induction doesn't sound nice but they do also have to take into consideration your feelings on the matter. I guess that you are right, all you can do is see what happens & listen to the advice. So much about having babies is down to chance.

Thanks Emz and Happy for sharing your story's to get to this point. It is heartbreaking to hear how common miscarriage and fertility problems are and makes me think how grateful I am that I've had a fairly straight run of it. We were TTC for nearly a year with nothing and were about at the point where we were going to seek specialist help, but luckily this one stuck. Fingers crossed we all bake our babies to 38-40 weeks!

Happy, I thought I fell into the 'older' mother group too but my midwife shot be me and said only those above 40 are classed as 'older' mothers. Hope you get a consistent line from the next consultant you see and that you get your natural birth. Poor they keep telling you different routes and misdiagnosed the fibroid......

Just to echo what everyone else has said, I also feel extremely lucky, I have friends who've had a horrendous time trying to conceive, truly not one day goes by when I am not grateful for the pregnancy and during this time my heart constantly goes out to everyone who has had and is having difficulties. It really can happen to anyone.

Discharge - so glad you've all mentioned this because I am totally with you. It started maybe a month or two ago, before that I had nothing at all but now...oh and emz - mucus plug! I would have been just as panicky as you, thank goodness it hasn't turned out to be anything and thank you for the warning that it might happen and it doesn't necessarily mean it's all systems go!

The breast feeding thing does come across as quite patronising, (as did the health worker), but I imagine that perhaps if you're not someone who tends to do a lot of reading around a subject such as pregnancy then all this information they foist on you is worthwhile and educational. But if they don't actually offer any support afterwards then that's quite concerning. No wonder so many women stop out of frustration.

admarks happylass The Harrow nursery set (we have it in white) - we've been assembling one item per weekend. So far we've done the wardrobe and the chest of drawers. When I read the reviews on the Argos website I noticed that they said that all the different pieces were mixed up in the all the boxes so you have to open all at once. We've not found this to be the case. We received 6 boxes, and each piece of furniture was spread across 2 boxes We opened a box, discovered which item it was, and then made an educated guess as to which of the boxes contained the rest of the stuff (however this only worked because both times we made something we were lucky enough to open first the box that contained the paper instructions, which also told you which items were in another box, and therefore we could guess based on size!). I really hope that all makes sense. I have a strong feeling it might not! We intend to put up the final item this afternoon - the cot - and I will take pictures and post them here so you can see it all. It's been really simple to assemble (so far the wardrobe and chest of drawers have taken us about 1.5 hours each) and we are very happy with the quality and look of it.

happy I'm an ivf pregnancy too and I've not been classified as high risk - if anything the doctor has been at pains to tell me the whole way through that the mode of conception is irrelevant and I am very low risk now. (Am consultant led only because I'm private.) I wonder why they are telling you you'll need to be induced?

Yes fertility problems are so much more widespread than you realise at first glance. I consider myself lucky despite the ivf - I have severe pcos and don't ovulate which is the most fixable of all the fertility issues. I was clomid resistant so had one round of ivf (which was meant to just be an ovulation induction but I overresponded and produced too many eggs so they converted it to ivf so as not to waste them) -and ended up with 37 eggs from which I got 20 blastocysts which I had genetically screened. The first one out back stuck and here I am. Plus all my treatment was fully funded via insurance. Kind of the golden ticket of fertility problems!

Just pleased we are all here and hoping for uneventful, safe journeys for us all from here on in!

How are things with you this morning emz? Hope everything is ok.

Stealth apparently there is some evidence to suggest that the placenta starts to deteriorate after 40 weeks in IVF pregnancies and, as a result, there is a higher incidence of still birth with IVF ladies who go past 40 weeks . I hope that doesn't scare you. As I said I have heard of this before but it's the first time anyone's mentioned it to me directly and, had we not seen this particular consultant, I doubt it would be an issue. I asked over on my IVF thread and about half of the ladies who had babies had been told this and the rest hadn't. Of those who had one had ignored the advice and had a natural home birth and another had opted for induction on her IVF due date (rather than EDD) but says it was horrendous! The others had followed the advice and had induction. Also someone mentioned that the risk doesn't come from the IVF itself but often the condition that led to the need for IVF iyswim. I think I'll wait and see what happens in future appointments but if I do go for induction I'd like to wait until at least EDD.

Admarks 'older' mothers here are officially those over 40 too and I think they have to be consultant led. I'm 38 but the consultant kept calling me old all through the appointment!
Col I'm finding it a bit frustrating that the boxes of nursery stuff aren't labelled. I really want to do the wardrobe first. I'm guessing they are the bigger boxes??

Thank you Bella. I am relieved that everything is normal this morning. Still feeling huge & uncomfortable. Been with my best friend this morning for her to try on her wedding dress & been told I need to order my bridesmaid dress by middle of Feb. No pressure to lose the weight!! To be honest I'm thankfully mostly bump so I'm hoping it'll be ok. No other signs of blood or anything. Panic over!!

Fingers crossed for fully cooked babies. I'm off to get the crib made & get the car seat out & ready before fireworks tonight. Not sure what DS will think (or baby!)