Feb 2016 Babies: The One Where the Babies Start Arriving!

[clarabellski]

OK, OK, so we already had a couple of babies on the last thread, but we're going to struggle to keep up with the number of new arrivals in this one!!!

Stats:

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dWmvdD9SkvPQqKn7rpFHazgufmda2FOTMtL093cZFj8/htmlview

Oh blue that doesn't sound fun at all! Hope you feel a bit better soon.

I had a really full on day helping my mum get some work ready for a deadline yesterday - it was so good to actually use my brain after two months of maternity leave and even more to use skills I honed at university. Doesn't happen often! It knackered me out so I prepared myself for a lovely night's sleep... Which was not to be. I found myself cleaning the toilet and bathroom sink at 1am and then doing some non-work work. Even after all that I couldn't sleep and had bad acid reflux, couldn't get comfortable. And now I'm awake. If baby comes today I'm stuffed. Hmm.

On a plus side, DH cleaned and tidied downstairs in the hope that a nice environment would encourage labour, so we've got a beautiful house

Strong and regular braxton hicks for the last few days, just nothing building. I'm guessing a long pre labour. Am I weird in hoping for not too short a labour? I want to use my pool and my doula will take 1 1/2 hours to get to me. 4 hours would be ideal! Ha! (my mum was 36hrs with me)

40+3

Darthvader - I'm undecided and need to decide by tomorrow afternoon on the sweep thing. My pros and cons list:

Pros:
It's quick, and would be done during my appointment tomorrow without another appointment being needed
It might mean I don't need an induction next week which would more significant to me
50% of the time it can trigger labour - I'm really keen for something to happen!

Cons:
Midwife puts on a glove and puts her hand in me!
They try to go through your cervix to separate out the amniotic sac from the uterus - doesn't sound pleasant!
It's normal to bleed a little after, which I'm not excited by
It is a form of intervention - I haven't found evidence that it leads to inductions, c sections etc but it's not a case of letting baby take his own sweet time
50% of the time it doesn't achieve anything

I absolutely get what Haquoi was saying about not taking non-medical interventions, but in October a friend lost a baby at 39 weeks, and all I can think about is that her daughter would be here if they'd got her out a few days earlier. I'm 40+3 today and feeling anxious about not letting things drag on too much. I'm getting movement and a few aches and pains, but it might just be that a sweep starts things off so my little boy arrives safely.

It's one of those where there's no clear answer, and certainly not one answer for everyone...

Thank you handbag for your reply. Was starting to wonder if my microphone was on ...

I feel similar in that I'd be devastated if something happened at this stage, and as interventions go, it's fairly non-invasive (eg no drugs in your system). The discomfort and bleeding doesn't worry me so much - I'm more worried about the pessary / gel!

I do see what you're saying handbag and obv that's why all decisions need to be taken on an individual basis. I'm also gritting my teeth and trying to keep positive - my ds was born at 19 weeks and didn't survive and so this rainbow baby is much wanted and much agonised over. I can't quite trust that he'll survive still. I'm on a mumsnet thread for women who have lost babies and have had to stop reading it because it's terrifying to read other people's experiences, despite my own. I've done a lot of reading up on induction and what is not normally stated by medical professionals is the risk of actually being induced verses the possible benefit of waiting a little. At 42 weeks I'll decide how I feel then. In terms of a sweep, my research and feeling is that the more I can let my baby decide, the more straightforward and less complicated my labour is likely to be - if I'm tired, stressed or fearful my oxytocin levels will lower as adrenaline takes over and the labour is likely to be more difficult for both bubs and myself. I have my own fears about medical intervention that stem from ds' birth and so we've done hypnobirthing and hired a doula to make sure I remain in control of the decision making, regardless of compromise or changing of plans. I know other women who have taken comfort from induction and c-sections, and that is brilliant, it's whatever suits you the most. Im just having to trust that my decision is the best for me and boy am I finding it hard! DH is being wonderful though and helping me keep on track.

Hacquoi you may as well be describing me in that last post (apart from the using of the brain part - I can feel my brain cells disintegrating one by one)

I'm another one not liking the idea of an induced labour vader but alongside some negative stories I've heard and read plenty of positive ones about induced labour (in terms of it not really being any different to a labour that started on its own).

Sorry darth, I missed both your posts!

KG Hypnobirthing thinking for not having a sweep/trying to induce labour, even naturally, is because most often your body won't go into labour unless it's ready and actually it could set off labour earlier than it would have happened, but your baby might have been born at the same time without the sweep. So potential longer labour where you and baby possibly get more tired and maybe need more help. I don't think there is medical backing on this thinking, it's one theory. But essentially having come all this way allowing baby to do what it knows is best and then to use an arbitrary date based on research from the 19th century as to when baby is "due" as medical reasoning behind deciding bubs is ready to come out is also part of it. There is good research on inductions and the "cascade of interventions", however. AIMS had fantastic, neutral research studies and KG Hypnobirthing explains things better than I have above.

As I've always said though, I ascribe to what works best for the individual so the above is what I'm personally interested in and I have no desire to make anyone else agree with it or feel bad for not agreeing with it!

(x post clara)

It is a hard decision. I think for me, I'd do whatever to get baby out ASAP once I go overdue. Purely for the wholely irrational reason that when I was expecting dc1 I knew 3 women who had stillbirths after going overdue and have been terrified of going overdue ever since. My rational mind tells me not to be silly, I know of far more who have gone on to have healthy babies past their due date (hundreds!), but that fear from my first pregnancy has stayed with me .

I hope that's not insensitive or upsetting to any of you who are already overdue, like I said, it's actually completely irrational.

Haquoi your reasoning is far more logical and rational than mine, I'll try to channel that rather than my own panic if it gets to that stage for me, thank you

I'm still here, section booked for next week. Got a MW appointment Thursday. Been having some cracking BHs, but other than that, nothing to suggest labour is imminent (which in my case would be unwelcome !) Had a really good sleep, but felt oddly tired after a coffee, and woke an hour and a half later on the sofa, confused, struggling to get up, and with cramp in my calf. Oh, the glamour....

Got a long list of jobs to get on with, so will start with those today, lots of e-mails, calls and sorting out to do. Also waiting on the sodding sheets to be delivered, so don't want to leave the front room for a shower/to go to the shop

I'd just like to say how delighted I am by the support shown in this thread - I know we're talking about some really emotive stuff where we've all got to work out what we want to do for ourselves and there is no right or wrong answer. I'm loving the support, discussion and encouragement everyone's showing. I've seen some really nasty stuff on MN the past few days and I'm really pleased to be part of a group here who can talk about these things positively.

Handbag I was just thinking the same thing! And how fantastic it is for everyone to give so much information, Iv learned so much since joining this thread! I bet everyone is going to be a god send here when baby is a few weeks old and it's 3am and won't settle

Hear hear handbag! Sorry to hear other threads haven't been so supportive.

Thanks troika, I hope it's helpful. Fear is so annoying isn't it? I've been dancing and had a little cry this morning to try and get past it. Emotions! Hormones! Blergh!

What day is your section chinchilla? Exciting! I think it's really cool that you're going to co-sleep. I've only read nhs stuff about it and haven't seen anything else. Do you have more info? Fx those sheets arrive soon, waiting for deliveries is so annoying!

I'm fed up today!

darth I don't feel as strongly as others about no sweep but for me it's more a philosophy that nature and my baby knows what it's doing and the dating scans etc are not totally accurate so I'm happy to wait until 42 weeks. I refused a sweep twice with my first and went on to have a very easy and relaxed labour with no pain relief needed, and so this time, I feel like I should stick with what worked last time. The idea does freak me out!

However, I have started to get worried about a very late term stillbirth mainly because it seems to be in the media a lot at the moment and my baby is measuring 3/4 weeks behind, so if an induction is recommended at my scan on Friday, I will follow advice.

Still here too, 38+5 today! On maternity leave now which is lovely, but have actually been more busy than when I was at work- swimming, cleaning etc- so not posting much.

I've been doing hypnobirthing too (after multiple miscarriages and a long time TTC) and am usually totally on board with the baby/body-knows-best philosophy... not planning to get a sweep or induction, as it seems a little unnatural. But then read something about stillbirth and the fear floods back, esp as DH is totally up for whatever medical intervention is offered! Glad you're all here and so supportive

Changing the subject slightly - is anyone wondering if Kim Sears has been on this thread?! waves

This thread is really supportive, it is lovely, I am very glad it is here.

My friend who had the same due date as me gave birth last night. Wish it was me!

MN was my saviour last time round- brilliant, long lasting support (various of us are still in touch) from a wide range of people. Loads of practical information, first hand experience and no judgement- perfect

I'm next Thursday haquoi, and it can't come soon enough! On the co-sleeping front, that was brought about by DS himself. For the first ten weeks or so, he would only sleep on or near me/DP (a little poster boy for the 'fourth trimester' thing). The moses basket was used to store toys... After a few nights of suffering, and with the help and encouragement of other people on the thread who did similar, we moved in together and I never looked back!
I'm aware that it's officially guided against, but with the right precautions (below) I am very comfortable with the risk:

• Non smoker, and no-one smokes in the house
• Sober
• Firm, new mattress
• The 'position':basically your arm is stretched out, so baby can't wiggle up.
• Blanket over bottom half, not a huge duvet
• Just me and baby
• Room kept cool-ish

I was probably the most well rested parent of a newborn around, as DS would snuffle, latch, and we'd both go back to sleep. Once or twice a night I'd move him to the other boob and off we'd go.

If I'm as lucky again, I'll be delighted, but I keep on thinking I can't be that fortunate twice!

Good resource here, as well as for other bits and bobs on the wider site:
kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping/

Xing I hadn't thought about Kim until you said there and now I am totally hoping she was one of the posters :p and I'd been sharing things about my bodily functions.. Cringe!!

I have to confess to an irrational 'FFS' moment when I read about kim sears on the bbc earlier. All I could think was 'why does she have to go and have her bloody baby first?!?!?!'. Not so supportive!!!! But I LOVE hearing all of the new baby news on here so keep it coming! It reminds those of us who are still waiting what its all about!

I managed to vent my frustration this afternoon by gutting out our greenhouse in preparation for this spring's planting. Am now covered in dirt and grime so its a relaxing lavender bath with some fake sparkly wine for me!

Oooh, a fellow gardener, hello clara! Giving the garden its early sort out is one of my pre-baby mat leave jobs too Got a new rose to go in, pruning to do, loads of tying up etc etc. Also got some vouchers for Xmas, so can replace what's not survived and plump out the perennials beds too.
Have to admit I do love the hearty g&t with an ibuprofen chaser that normally follows a hefty garden sesh, so will be a little while before I can indulge!

haq - cleaning at 1am = nesting

You too clara in your greenhouse!

I predict more babies by the weekend!!

We need you guys over on the postnatal thread, it's too quiet and I miss you all!

Hurry up babies!

Maisie I'm more than willing to have this baby by the weekend! Some big braxton hicks going on right now plus some period pains, but I'm confident they'll all die down like they have every evening so far...

handbag fx that tonight is the night!

Clara if I set food in my greenhouse I'd be sure to go in to labour.. Youv no idea the size of spiders in there and the irrational hatred and fear I have for them! sounds like your nesting though.. Very very jealous!!

Northern thanks putting g&t in my head... As soon as breastfeeding (all being well) is established, and I can start expressing, I am treating myself to a g&t with lots of ice and a slice of lime.... Mmmmmmm