April 2016 babies - 20-week scans, growing bumps and little kicks!

[suffolkblonde29]

Hi all,

I've started a new thread to take us up to the third trimester.

Hope you are all feeling well. I feel like my bump is a little small and I'm not feeling lots of movement (but this may be due to an anterior placenta). Got my 20-week scan tomorrow so not long to wait to see if everything's ok - it's actually nearly 22 weeks though as baby really wasn't playing ball when we went last week and was hiding with its back to the scanner.

Getting excited that I'm halfway there though...

thank you knits, he seems a bit of a pillock generally, I have spoken to a few people now who have been under his care (NHS) and they have had the same from him, he's very pro natural birth.

There's only one person who has had a good time with him, but they went to him privately and apparently he couldn't do enough to help them have the birth (CS) they wanted. This would make me think its down to money!

I have carried out tonnes of research, and am not walking in to this meeting with him blind! Fingers crossed for next Friday.

emmac, my second baby was measuring large (10lb) according to scan and bump. C sec was never offered but in hindsight I wish I'd pushed for it after the trauma of a difficult birth with my first average size baby. I had to lobby hard to be induced on 40w as I was 11 days late with no1 and I didn't want him to have that extra growing time! He was an emcs in the end after a 12 hour induced labour as he was all tangled up in his cord and wasn't to come out the traditional way! The thing was it only seemed to be me and my mw that believed he was really big - consultants etc kept saying 'oh these scans are notoriously inaccurate, probably more like 9lb'. He was 10lb5!

This time round I'm having an elcs as labour and recovery are not for me, I found the recovery from emcs so much better. Baby is also measuring up toward the 10lb line again but this time I'm not bothered as its going to be a sunroof exit :)

If you really want an elcs, push for it, I regret not doing that last time and having to endure a horrific labour that could have been avoided. Incidentally the induction was fine, it was the fact DS was tangled up in cord and not coming down do my body went into overdrive trying to get him out. Failed epidurals so meant that I got to experience that in all its technicolor glory and I'm not prepared to go through that again.

oops what machine were they using with you?!? They check the cord here when they do the measurement scan at 35/36 weeks.

It really bothers me that the NHS can sometimes, depending where you live, be very dismissive towards maternity care. Writer Good luck with your appointment. A scheduled CS is far better than an induced labour followed by an EMCS. I have done both and after 22 hours of labour followed by a CS I was exhausted. My recovery was much slower and it was just overall not an experience I wish for anyone. With DS, my 2nd, I had a planned CS because he was big. On day 3 I was in great shape and went home which was in stark contrast to my first where they refused to let me leave the hospital until day 5. It says something in America when the doctors and insurance company won't let you go home!

Sometimes you have to listen to your gut and pregnancy is one of those times. If your gut is telling you that you want a CS then I think that is a very valid reason and you should be heard. I had a gut feeling about my first and I do regret not listening to it. We all got through delivery but it could have been a lot better if I have spoken up.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I read somewhere (through my mountain of research) that the order of safe delivery is:

1. Natural no interventions birth
2. Elcs
3. Foreceps/Vent etc
4. Emcs

I have tried the natural which is ideal, but it didt work and I ended up with a bit of nightmare (NB- for any first timers this is rare, and I think I have stupid skinny hips!!) so I think a ELCS is the safest option for me and my baby.

In relation to my dopey skinny hips, my dh's aunt is a HV and she saw me last week and asked me how I expected to get this baby out! I said I had hoped for CS and she was relieved!

Thanks everyone - I'm on a special growth study so they're using the accurate 4D machine... So we shall see what they say. If the baby is same or smaller than DS I'd much prefer a normal delivery in the birth centre... But if it's bigger I'm just scared I'm going to be walking into a disaster scenario and I'm just too scared to do that... So if it's showing big I'll push for an elective CS as whilst it's my second choice to a lovely natural birth... It's definitely you preference vs another challenging delivery with interventions.

Thank you everyone!

So came back on to say I am very hormonal today. I just have zero patience for anyone at work. It is so hard to control myself. Came very close to just exploding with my manager who has messed me around so much over the past 6 months and finally decided to change her mind about how we are going to do some testing. I am working until 10pm at night and get home for 11pm. I am then up at 5.30am to get to work for 9am (driving to my client takes 1.5hrs because of traffic). My manager was also not happy that I won't be in until 10am tomorrow because I have to return my rental car from other client. The client is on the East side of manhattan and I live in New Jersey. I take the bus and then the subway so yes it takes 45mins to get there and I am dropping my kids off at school/daycare first.

I hate that I have been working for someone who is just gotten married and has zero clue how hard it is be getting two kids under the age of 5 out the door in the morning. I am on a part time schedule and split between two jobs so my real schedule is actually full time but with a 20% pay cut.

Oh and the intern nearly got it in the neck today too. We have three kosher team members. As we work late the intern is responsible for sorting dinner out for everyone. It isn't a hard task but it does take initiative when you have so many people, some of whom have special diets. This intern had the nerve to tell me that it was up to the three kosher team members to tell him places to set up delivery from. I was like 'dude it doesn't work that way.'

Wow, your consultant sounds like a nightmare Writer, especially if he treats his NHS patients so differently to private patients. Money talks I guess, though of course it shouldn't when it comes to healthcare... Sounds like you're going in well prepared with all your research though which can only help.

oops, your sunroof exit comment made me smile. Definitely sounds like you're making the right choices for you given your past experience and the baby measuring big again.

emma, I think you're totally entitled to insist on a CS if the growth scan shows your baby is measuring big and that's your preference. I don't have any personal experience to speak from, but I've heard from ante-natal classes that how the mum feels going into labour can be important in how labour progresses - eg if you're feeling scared and anxious it can mean that things feel more painful or progress more slowly. If knowing that your baby is likely to be big would make you anxious about labour then it sounds like asking for a CS might be the best option. Fingers crossed your growth scan show the baby is measuring smaller than you think and you get to have that lovely natural birth you said is your first choice.

Your work sound awful want2b. I think if my employers had me working until 10pm for 80% of my salary I'd be looking for a new job! Have you got much longer before you go on maternity leave? In the meantime hope you manage to have a relaxing weekend and forget about work for a couple of days.

I'm feeling so tired today. I haven't even had an especially busy week at work but I'm so ready for the weekend. I'm only 31 weeks but already everything is starting to feel like it takes so much effort. Is that normal or am I just feeling sorry for myself?

Also, just wondered if any of you who already have children have any experience with hypnobirthing? I've heard a lot about it in antenatal classes, but wondered if anyone has some personal experience of it?

oops hope you don't mind me asking, but what does your pelvic floor prolapse feel like?

I've just attempted my bikini line for the first time in a while (was like taking nail scissors to the amazon rainforest ) and now I'm worried that I've got some sort of prolapse. The left hand side of my foof feels sort of swollen and bulgy. Like my muscles aren't supporting it properly. Sorry for the tmi. I'm now scared that if I go for vb then my fanny is going to fall out

Should I mention it to my midwife at my next appt?

Mine's the same Fatima. The whole area is swollen and bulgy, with one side worse than the other. In my case it's vulval varicose veins. I had them last time too.

I've had a look, although bathroom isn't very well lit and my belly gets in the way of the mirror. But it looks kind of bulgy on the left, also looks like there may be a varicose vein there as well. Then a bit bumpy along the scar tissue towards my bum, possibly a pile? Oh the glamour

It's worse when I'm crouching, like sitting to have a wee. Don't think the weight of this giant baby pushing down on my weak pelvic muscles helps at all

knits Its busy season for us so everyone is working around the clock. FT people are working Saturday's and in two weeks everyone will stay at a hotel overnight because they work until 3am.

Overall it's my manager I have a problem with because she insisted on booking me for 20 hours a week. Then she didn't have enough work for me but kept me on the team just in case she needed me. Now she doesn't need me but still won't release me. I do all the crap admin jobs for her which I'm happy to do but they don't give me enough hours so I'm getting calls from HR saying I need to ask for more work. I've had to pick up odd jobs on my other client to fill my time.

So tommorow I will be 32 weeks. I plan to work until March 25th and have the baby on March 28th. I need to have 1000 hours in for the year to get my pension benefit for the year and for me to move on to the next year grouping so it's important I get as much time in now while the hours are available.

fatima pelvic floor prolapse feels all bulgy but the give away is that it's also really uncomfortable too. Worse when your sat on the toilet but can happen stood up too. There's no way I could do any wide stance yoga poses. Mention it to your midwife, she'll probably tell you to go to the dr who will refer you to the physio. They can diagnose you and check you are doing your pelvic floor exercises properly. Re labour and pushing, you'll be fine. Everything is still attached up there so it won't actually fall out but everything will bulge out a bit more. By that time you won't be able to feel it as there is far more going on.

knits in my limited experience it made no difference how I felt going into labour on progression and pain. With my first I was excited and using all my birth breathing techniques and it was a three day horror marathon ending in ventouse and a distressed baby. Number 2 I was more apprehensive but reassured that I was in hospital start to finish as it was a requested induction. That one was only 12 hours start to finish and I'd done tons of acupuncture to help my body prepare. Another horror labour because my body was going nuts trying to push him out and as he was completely tangled in his cord, he wasn't descending and was going nowhere. That was an emcs in the end and a breeze once I got into theatre.

From my own experience and the stories of my friends of birth and labour, it comes entirely down to luck of the draw. Some people get lucky and some don't. Not everybody has the same level of pain. Whether your baby is back to back, your labour is short or long, horrifically painful or not that bad is all down to luck. I've heard some great things about hypnobirthing from friends so that sounds like a good plan too. I wouldn't try and just tough it out without something like that though - there is no medical reason to do that and I know people who have been completely traumatised by putting themselves through unnecessary pain and suffering through the pressure from society and mws to have a 'natural' birth. There's nothing natural about feeling you are being tortured from the inside for hours or days. The pain relief available will not hurt your baby. It will not slow your labour (quite the opposite actually as it relaxes you as you are not tensed up with pain and allows your body to do its thing). I think it was Wants who posted on here ages ago that the Feminist boards make for some very interesting reading re the discouragement of pain relief for women, it was eye opening.

Also one shitty birth doesn't mean the next one will be. If DS hadn't been tangled in his cord, then I think my experience would have been so much better - shortish labour and hopefully a vaginal exit. I've had two crappy ones now though so as I have the choice to avoid the potential of another crappy one, I am taking it. The crux of it is be kind to yourself and roll with the punches. Don't let anyone tell you to avoid pain relief especially at that vulnerable time when you inevitably doubt yourself.

Personally I don't think any labour should go on for more than 24 hours. By then both you and the baby are tired and I don't have one story that was really positive after all that time. If I'd known that with my first I would have pushed for intervention much sooner. My contractions never got properly regular like they want them too so I suffered at home until I couldn't take it anymore. That was a mistake.

oops no memory at this point but I have pointed to the feminist boards concerning maternity care in the UK quite a few times on Mn.

It's funny because I'm in the US so everyone in the UK assumes it's completely medicated. That has not been my experience at all. With regard to pain, it will bloody hurt but the staff at the hospital helped me with breathing. Induction massage also really helped. Get on YouTube with your OH and have them practice once you get to 38 weeks! Ina May is also a fantastic resource. Failing that prep your OH that they need to be vocal on your behalf. I've helped my best friend through labour and when she was dismissed I spoke up in an assertive (some would argue aggressive) way and got her what she wanted, and turned out needed.

My final piece of advice about labour is that you should take a shower and wash your hair before you leave for the hospital. With DD and my 22 hour labour (they don't allow you to go more than 24hrs in the US) it was 3 days before I could have a shower. This time I'm scheduled at 9am. I have an appointment one block from my house at 6am for a blow out.

Hello all, I a bit late to the party :) I'm 33yo, nearing 30 weeks with my first child - a boy. I live in Yorkshire, work full time with 6 weeks to go until a year's mat leave.

We're in the middle of selling our apartment and buying a house - just at the searches stage and not clear yet if we'll be in it before or after baby arrives. Fingers crossed for completion in early April. As a result we've not done a great deal of purchases/receiving items from friends/family. What we have got, along with half our apartment due to the declutter to go on the market, is all at my Mums!

As for pregnancy. I'm deemed 'low risk' so aiming for an intervention free water delivery at local birth centre. with husband and doula by my side. Started some birthing classes via my doula, which are more aimed at active movement & sort of hypno/relaxation birthing with just Mums. Got a couples workshop at the end of the month so husband can learn the techniques, then we begin NCT classes in March.

Baby is on 50th pc and at 28w appt he was head down and not back to back. MW happy so far, appts are quite boring tbh. My last bloods showed my iron levels had dropped quite a lot and now borderline (107). Not low enough (

Welcome Fyggy! Back pain is awful isn't it. I don't exercise much beyond walking when I'm pregnant. My grandmother told me repeatidly that all this running around when pregnant will give you the countenance of a baby! Not sure if it is true or not but I've been incredibly lucky compared to others.

This weekend has flown by. The great news is that I found bunk beds on Craigslist and we went and purchased them. We have a moving company picking them up on Friday. We want the trundle bed too and we were going to buy new but I did a search last night and found one for sale on Craigslist. I'm hoping they respond to my email. To buy the trundle and mattress new is $700 plus delivery and tax, so it's a huge savings to buy 2nd hand.

It will also be amazing to get the kids into their new sleep arrangements. I really want them to be settled before their sister arrives. DH and I decided we are going to decorate the wall opposite them with a family theme. DH said he was going to do it next Monday so I'm intrigued to see what happens. My expectation is that not much will happen!

Hi Fyggy!

I can empathise with the breathlessness. It is ridiculous! Apparently it is connected with low iron levels. I've been prescribed iron tablets and although the breathlessness hasn't helped, I've not had any headaches. As for reusables, I used TotsBots Bamboozles with my first. No complaints.

I went to see an osteopath today about a stiff neck/shoulders and mentioned my pelvis whilst I was there. She loosened everything off with some gentle manipulation, did a few crunches and also acupuncture. It was very satisfying. Wish I'd gone months ago!

DH went away today for 5 weeks. It'll be tough on my own with the 2 DC and work, but at least I've only 3 weeks left until maternity leave! And when he's home it'll nearly be time for the baby's arrival .

I have the low iron and the horrible breathlessness that goes with it. I also started to get headaches which I put down to eating less sugar but now my iron levels fell again.

Mazzle I really feel for you. For the week of Feb 29th DH is away and I am dreading it. I plan to work from home for most of the time and I have asked our help to work longer hours that week. I am also suffering with nausea now I am in my 3rd trimester. It sucks.

Welcome Fyggy I'm in Yorkshire too! Wow, you've been busy! I might go for reusable nappies too, though I've bought several size ones for the early days. My council does a scheme where you can get either a few free reusable nappies to try or some money off nappies. I'm in West Yorkshire and there are a few nappy libraries around so I might try out some from those before I commit to anything.

I've got breathlessness and back pain too. I find the breathlessness kind of scary, I come over all dizzy feeling with it like a Victorian lady or something. Apparently my iron is fine (112 but stores are fine), so I don't know what's causing it.

The back pain is just ridiculous, but I've got a physio referral so maybe I will get some answers there. Just standing up for 5 minutes has me in agony! I'm still signed off sick, all that plus ongoing nausea and exhaustion was just a bit much. I've been told not to try to exercise for the time being so I'm resting up and nesting quietly. We just bought this because DH fell in love with it in in Ikea because of the frog being cute: www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00266245/. Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out practical things like what changing table and mat to get given I'm a short arse with back pain. I like the idea of the ones with a bath in as well as our big bath would be impossible to bend over. Does anyone know if the ones with a strap are worth it as they are hard to find but I just know we'll have a wriggly baby?

Got my Gaviscon free on prescription now though! I'm hoping it will have an impact on the nausea as there is a theory that acid reflux brings that on. Tastes horrid though!

Is anyone else really struggling to get comfortable for long at the moment? I'd love to lie on my back for the back pain really but lying flat makes me feel very ill, it has to be the side. And sitting is a complicated negotiation with cushions and footstools where comfort never seems to last.

Hello fyggy My bub was exactly on the 50th percentile at the 28 week scan as well. So snap! Sorry you're having back trouble.

comelucky that mat is adorable, I love it!

I'm 31 weeks now and I've just been for the GTT scan this morning to test for gestational diabetes. Anyone else had GD? Apart from this, everything seems to be on track.

My consultant is suggesting an induction at 39 weeks (I'm no spring chicken). What is everyone else thinking of for the birth?

Elcs for me, I've an appt next week so I'm going to beg for a date.

Fingers crossed that if my pregnancy continues to be uncomplicated, I can have the vaginal water birth in a midwife led birthing centre that i really want. Want to avoid any form of induction even though I bet I'll want it just to be over in the end ;) (and ofc if she stays in more then 42 weeks, I'll break tenancy!)

However keeping an open mind on things knowing that my body/baby msy have other ideas and that sometimes plans are nice but just don't happy. It's why I'm calling my list 'birth preferences' instead :)

Think I am looking at giving birth between 36-38 weeks at the moment as my blood pressure has crept back up so I'm hoping for an unmediated water birth but the water part might not happen if I'm induced. Midwife has warned me sternly not to hang about as DD was born so quickly even with an induction so if I go naturally I might be just trying to not give birth on route! I bet I will end up with a 3 day labour now. Baby is head down now. I wish we could have an exact date but it's really just dependant on how poorly I get from here. DD1 has to have her tonsils removed and biopsied as one of them has swollen for months now. Lots of stress in our household alongside me having to go into clinic every couple of days.

Feeling everyone with the low iron levels, and Come I'm definitely with you on not bring able to get comfy, even on the sofa at night I'm groaning that it aches. Welcome Fyggy also. Hope everyone is well.

Hello everyone, thanks for the welcome :)

want2b did the seller of the trundle bed reply? I hope you get it. Are your boys moving rooms to make room for your addition? Good organising!

Mazzle another breathlessnesser! Luckily I'm not getting headaches though unlike you and want2b. Are you going to use reusables again this time? 5 weeks DHless!? Eek.

Comelucky Ooo another Yorkshire and West Yorks here too! My local council has no scheme. My neighbouring one does :( The nappy libraries sound a good idea- found one locally.. Shall go for a visit. Are you dizzy from standing? Your back pain sounds awful. Standing isn't bad for me. I saw a physio and had a massage to almost realign me. She's my usual Physio who sees to all my various sporting and exercise injuries/grumbles.
I like the mat, but more for the duck! I adore ducks! Re baths, my friend gave me one of those kinda plastic shaped ones you put them in. Could you use the sink? Perhaps your back pain might ease up after baby has left? But yes the changing tables with one in it may be good, but not many are height adjustable if youre short! Comfort is becoming more difficult. Getting shoes on/off is getting tough!!

brokeberry No GDM here. They were going to screen me and they changed their mind. They tend to do it at 25weeks here. Let us know how you get on. How old are you that they'd suggest an induction early due to that?

dizzy I'm hoping for the same re intervention free water birth at local birth centre! We can only but hope baby agrees! Has anyone's MW done a birth plan with them yet or discussed it much?

I had a letter from my would be Health Visitor this week. She wants to come visit me before baby arrives. Managed to rearrange the appt to my mat leave as they wanted to come during the day. Though new appt is in the week I hope to be moving. She'll think me most disorganised and not ready if she comes to my current home- nothing set up nor ready here. It's all at my Mums with nursery furniture on delivery awaiting to be set up at the new house! Chased my solicitor today and told them (again) my baby deadline. Left her chasing the other two solicitors as it appears it's them holding up the show! Anyone else's HV been in touch?

fyggy I'm 42 and pregnant with DC1 (after trying for a long time, mcs etc). I'll be getting my GD test results today.

I love the idea of a very natural birth, but at the same time it's far more important to me that bub arrives safely, so if they recommend that I don't go past 39 weeks, I'll go with that. I am getting great care because of my history and I'm seeing the consultant every two weeks with extra scans, so it will become more apparent what's best nearer the time.