November 2015 ladies! Time to feel the glow!

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Are you expecting a babe in November this year? If so, get ready to get glowing. Breaking out in spots, or tears, or both is part of the so called glow. Feeling sick, contemplating births and having the odd good day of eating well is also all glow.

Come on then. Wee in the corner to mark your spot. Have some or or . Then glow.

I'm too impatient not to find out and my DH is even worse I had a very strong hunch though that this was a girl and the DNA results agreed. I'm just waiting for my early anomaly scan next week to double-check and then we will start telling people!

On names, we have a long list but find it really hard. The last two dcs we haven't decided until after birth but at that stage I've not really been in a fit state to make such decisions. This time around we are overseas and have to register the birth before we leave the hospital so I'm hoping to have a definite choice before I go into labour (but heaven help us if the sex results were wrong and it's a boy as we actually have not even thought about boys names!).

I can't scroll back to check who asked but I also have lightheaded/dizzy spells. Mine is due to low blood pressure I think. Moving/standing/sitting carefully and drinking lots of water and putting salt in my food seems to help.

I am still undecided about finding out. As an impatient type I thought I would be desperate to know but actually I don't care as I just want a healthy baby. It doesn't matter for planning purposes in my opinion although if I already had DC I think it would be more important.

Anyway it's my 39th birthday today and DH are at a music festival for the weekend. Luckily our hotel is nearby so I can come back for naps if necessary. So pleased I had the foresight to choose the nearest hotel when I booked it last August.

Happy birthday doom hope you are having a lovely day!

We aren't finding out. I really, really, really don't want to know and am actually quite worried that we'll somehow accidentally find out at the 20 week scan. I don't mind whether it's a boy or a girl but at the moment I really like the fact that it's just a baby - it doesn't matter what gender it is. DH is quite shocked because usually I absolutely hate surprises, and can't bare not to have all the information right away. But I feel really firm about this, strange!

Everyone keeps saying to us we should leave it as a surprise... I don't like surprises and I really like to be organised and while I feel like a lot of things can be completely gender neutral I would like the odd thing for girl or boy although I also favour neutral colours for clothes and nursery. Besides which there is a high chance if I have to chose a name with no preparation my child could be nameless until its first birthday... indecisive...me...never!!

We're finding out. I'm too inpatient to wait until the birth and I feel like its still a surprise, just at 20 weeks not 40. Its personal preference though, I think that its so lovely when the dp gets to announce the sex, I just couldn't wait that long!

We're getting a lot of people wishing for a boy for us we we've got a full set. Its a bit annoying. I'm happy regardless. Either way dd is getting a playmate and lots of her clothes will be handed down. The only typically girly toy she has is a doll, but I don't see a problem with boys playing with dolls at all. My kids can play with and wear whatever they choose.

I've had a couple of dizzy spells too, once when dd was in her sling which was a bit scary.

a little bit choosing a name plays a bit part in why I want to find out too. At the minute it feels like the names we have are just theoretical babies, it makes it real when I know I have to settle on one.

It's funny, in real life I don't know anyone that hasn't found out at the scan, I guess that's why everyone thinks I'm weird. Seems even more pressure to find out for a second one as well for some reason.
Hoping I can have a real surprise and it won't be obvious from the scan pictures again. That'd be lovely if DH could tell me the sex. I didn't have my lenses / glasses with me and DS was kind of dangled above the screen and then taken for checks so I didn't get that last time. And although everyone had seen his parts on the scan pictures, I wasn't totally sure they knew, I still had an element of doubt. Actually, it hadn't all descended at birth so I'm still not totally convinced they knew!

And names are hard! We had names picked out for DS, but I'm not sure why, I just decided when I saw him it wasn't his name. DH thinks this was due to the drugs but agreed with the new name.
I love meanings of names and DS's means lively / energetic which seemed to suit him and I wanted him to have some energy and fight after his birth if that makes sense? He was originally going to have a name that meant well-born, powerful that kind of thing, but that didn't suit the situation at all. I realise this is very much a cultural thing and most people give me the "what's she on about now?" look when I try to explain this!

Seems like there is going to be a mix of knowing and not knowing on here. Lovely! I've had so many people mention the planning thing, drives me insane. I think newborns look adorable and so yummy in plain white baby gros anyway! And even if we wanted to do the whole pink/blue thing it's not like once you've given birth you'll never be able to enter a shop again is it .

I have the opposite issue gennibugs. I am constantly being told I can't plan anything, I will never be able to leave the house, wear make up, brush my hair, go to the toilet, eat or get myself dressed ever again. While I am sure on some days this may be true I would love to be one of those "together" people after birth.. chances may be slim though but I don't like to feel defeated so early on . I am also a horse owner and all non horse owners give me a look and ask when I will be selling the horse... well erm I wont and then I get a barrage of well you wont have time, you wont want to, how will you do it, its impossible, ill get a shock etc etc etc. I am sure plenty of people with new born babies are able to function after birth and continue with horse ownership... I plan to be one of those people!! Rant over... sort of.. I also seem to have a close friend with two children who likes to inform me of the worst possible scenario for any situation.. on finding out I was pregnant (I found out at 4 weeks) she informed me of a lady she knew who had a phantom pregnancy and found out at a 12 weeks scan she was babyless... que me taking constant pregnancy tests, sleepless nights, vivid dreams and a £65 early reassurance scan. Shes also one of the sell your horse you'll never leave the house again brigade!!

To begin with I couldn't get the hang of getting dressed before 9! I was completely baffled as to why there were baby groups at this time. But you soon get into a sort of routine that suits you both. I quickly realised that DS was quite happy on my bed whilst I got changed as long as he wasn't starving. As they've never seen the world before things like you brushing your teeth, or hair, or a horse are really entertaining. Sometimes he screams of course but if I need the toilet I go. Someone pointed out to me that if he was in nursery for example he wouldn't be getting one to one attention so popping off to the toilet for a few minutes (as long as they're in a safe place) isn't going to hurt

alittle that must be so frustrating. I don't think anyone knows how they will cope but as you say, we have to be positive and hope for the best and that we'll be able to function and muddle through. Seems so defeatist to just give up now!! Mind you my delightful MIL has a real bee in her bonnet about the fact I'm not getting rid of my cat before the baby. There is NO WAY I'd even consider it. I'd consider getting rid of MIL (cut contact I mean not kill her!) before I got rid of my cat .

Wise words there abbey!

Yes, gennibugs it drives me insane when some people ask, "so uh what are you planning to do with your dog when the baby arrives?" Thankfully our love for our little beautiful furry shih tzu pup is so extremely well established socially, only a few colleagues cluelessly asked.

I wonder what answer they expect.

DH says I should respond with "what are you planning to do with your DC1 when DC2 arrives?".

DPup is now sleeping in a ball of DH's chest with her teddy bear and both are snoring like babies. If anyone mentions getting rid of her, I cannot guarantee that I will not rip their heads of like a mother dragon.

Abbey & gennibugs thank you and this is all true, the beauty of the horse is that getting dressed is not necessary, big coat over pj's would suffice, no need for hair brushing and make up.. this works for me now so why break the habit In reality I don't deny it might be hard work and some days I might not feel like it but I have loads of support and a lot of my horsey friends have done it so don't see why I can't, this argument is just met with looks of pity and "you'll see"

Don't get me started on the dogs.. so far we have had various people (MIL's) tell us they are concerned about our dogs and a baby.. to put it into perspective we are not talking about rottweilers or great danes just a pug and pug cross who haven't been remotely interested in any baby they've ever met or who has come to our house before and are probably the worlds laziest dogs. I've read a million articles on how to prepare dogs for babies after being told I should be concerned about them attacking (never shown any vicious tendencies with anything or anyone) a baby screaming simulator app thing did get one of them to lift up an ear and then slump back down to sleep. They would never be left alone with a small baby anyway so can't see how a situation would ever arise but nothing like scaring the pregnant lady!!

What is it about being pregnant and people preparing you for the worst.. I'd much rather go into it in blissful ignorance, it's too late to turn back then and I'll have no choice but to deal with it and get on with things. Currently I am being told everything that can go wrong and how awful it is (I think I should stop seeing this particular friend!!) and I just don't want to hear it! Also don't get me started on the people telling me my baby is going to break the largest baby ever born records and how destructive it will be... I am quite small and my husband is 6ft4 and very big build, he was an 11lb something baby so now the jokes are starting, pictures in some cases of how enormous the baby will be and "good luck"... Sod off!!!

I'm ever so sorry for such a rant in my first few posts, does feel good getting it out though!!

On the bright side I am incredibly excited as someone has just bought me a white newborn dressing gown from the white company.. it has ears on the hood.. probably the cutest thing ever made (if my hippo of a newborn will even fit in it) !!

I was attacked by a dog as a child so my personal view is different as I'm still terrified. But most wouldn't leave an animal alone with a newborn in the same way you wouldn't leave a jealous toddler alone with one either, or leave them alone in the bath etc. Common sense solves most problems I think!
I have the opposite experience in that I wish the midwives had told me I was at risk of a preterm ceasearian rather than crapping on about my water birth in the birth centre and how lovely it'd be, which from what I've read in hindsight about the condition I had, was not likely to happen. At least then I could've read up on things and been a bit prepared. I think they went the opposite way of trying not to scare the pregnant lady whereas for me some info would've been useful.
Ah well, everyone's different I suppose in their preferences. Maybe they should ask at booking if we want the rosy picture or the realistic one
At the moment most of the negativity from people is around the small age gap. Sure, it won't easy but neither is a newborn / toddler, newborn / school child, newborn / teenager, multiples etc. Each has it's own pluses and minuses and the way I see it at least I'll know what I'm doing and a term baby (hopefully!) will be so much easier

I have three spoiled house cats and with two of them I have no concerns when it comes to the baby (apart from it upsetting them!) but the third hates children and has been known to attack them... However just before we found out I was pregnant we got one of the best behaviourists to see him and she has re assured us he won't necessarily be the same with our baby and I feel a lot happier. know it won't be easy but won't leave the baby alone with him obviously and really think he will be pleased I'm home more. He's a very confident controlling cat apparently which is why he doesn't like children, they don't do what he wants them to, lol!

helps that he's too fat to get over/through the baby gate!

I am also fed up of people saying "oh no, what you going to do about the dog?" "Will she be ok with the baby?" "You won't be able to leave her alone with the baby she will be jealous" etc etc. We aren't stupid. We would never leave them alone together (she is a mini schnauzer anyhow....tiny) and let's be honest nobody can tell how she will react until the baby is here! So why ask?! Very annoying!!!

I'm not the only one who has had the doom and gloom stories from friends then. That's all I've heard from some is that ooooh your life will change, you won't be able to do this/that after the baby comes along, it's so stressful. Grrr! I got a bit p!ssed off the other day and vented and said I was cheesed offwith being fed all of the negativity. I think I'm well aware that my life and my husband's will change after dc comes along!

What did hurt a bit though was my best mate saying to a mutual friend that when the baby comes along I'll be in the real world then! Erm so people who don't/can't have children are not in the real world!! Meh!

Haven't had too many doom & gloom stories yet, lots of our friends don't have kids though.

Yesterday I was playing golf with an older lady who, on discovering I was "expecting," said "oh that poor little baby listening to that whacking noise every time you hit the ball!" I felt like telling her that it was a far more pleasant noise for the baby than the sound of her prattling on for 18 holes But I'm far too polite & respectful to say anything if the sort.

I have had some very strange reactions from people, the majority have been really lovely and over the moon for us but there's the friend that feels the need to warn me about everything that went wrong for her, the mum from school, the neighbour and someones cousins aunt, the friend (very very close friend) who doesn't want to be my friend while I'm pregnant as she's not (she's not trying to be) but because she's not in a place in her life where she could be trying she doesn't want to be my friend..

Other than strange people and warnings of doomsday the moment the baby arrives it's quite lovely being pregnant and planning for the baby. My method of thinking is if women with no support or even hospitals in some countries can manage to raise a baby then I can do with all the luxuries I have been granted!

Ah alittlebit! A fellow equestrian! Ignore the doommongers, you'll find your own way through. Maybe in the long run your priorities will shift, maybe they won't, but nothing is impossible! I have a friend who used to put their toddler in a baby walker in a gated yard while she mucked out the toddler zoomed around everywhere. I know another who (some years ago!) used to shut hers in a stable with some toys while she exercised in the manège next door, but I'm not sure I'd recommend that as an option

To all those struggling with dire warnings of doom and gloom. Maybe give the advice-giver the benefit of the doubt: sometimes, some aspects of new parenthood for some people, can seem impossibly difficult to cope with at times. At least if that happens to you, you will know that you are not alone, it's normal and you know who you can talk to who has been there and got through it. On the other hand, sometimes, for some people, parenthood can be an astonishingly easy and joyous experience and you can appreciate that too. Fwiw, I have had one of each experience, after my first I wished someone had warned me how physically and mentally destructive childbirth can be so I didn't feel so alone in my struggle to regain 'myself' and live any semblance of my previous normality. Second time around, I could not believe how easy it all felt, emotionally in particular, and perhaps I was just better prepared for the physical recovery to take so long and had more faith that eventually everything would be alright, as I'd been through it once before.

A friend said to me "underage chavs do it, it can't be hard" Sorry for the phrasing but it did make me laugh when I was getting doom and gloom with DS.
It IS hard, we had a tough start, but it gets better so quickly. I still have bad days where they don't go to plan but the good far outweighs the bad, and it's so worth it.
Someone on mn described it as going to a car showroom and being given a car when you can't drive. You've seen other people drive them, even people that aren't particularly good at it. You have a vague idea you're supposed to put petrol in, push some pedals for some reason, maybe something about oil? You'll look that up later. And you drive away, on your own, clueless!
I felt a lot like that. Why is he screaming? Maybe he needs milk, let's try that? No? Um, tired? Nappy? You just work it out eventually, somehow

It's not just us the doom and gloomers tell their tails of woe to :( My OH was very much looking forward to a meal out with our mutual friends (I could not go as I'm rather Ill with hypermesis). He said at one point he had to tell them he'd not been out in 6 weeks (looking after me) and could they please stop telling him how much he won't cope.
My own close friends would not stop when I asked them to either. It can be quite annoying!
I don't want to bury my head in the sand (much) but millions of people cope with it all over the world, as have my friends and as will I when the time comes. That was my little rant about it!!