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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

The due in September crew head into the second trimester! :) (Thread 6)

980 replies

Treaclepie19 · 04/03/2015 17:11

Hi all! Stats sheet here :)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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12
Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2015 21:36

Me too sundays, very nervous.

OP posts:
Hare5260 · 16/03/2015 21:58

To be honest, the thought of not being able to breast feed terrifies me. I don't have anything against formula feeding, breast feeding is just something I really, really hope I am able to do. My trust provide breastfeeding workshops which I have applied for so hopefully I'll be as prepared as I can be.... fx!!

ambientolf · 16/03/2015 22:03

hare I'm the same, I really want to be able to breastfeed for many reasons. Selfishly, ill say it, the burning calories of it really makes me hope I can loose this baby weight quick and easy!! And the hassle of sterilising and making up formula, etc. Im LAZY and BF sounds like the best option for me Grin.
As well as being close to baby of course, but I don't necessarily believe breast is best and I wont be too disheartened if I don't manage it. My mum said she thought it was unnatural and even took tablets to get rid of the milk with me and I turned out OK!

Does anybody know how to access the facebook group?

ShootTheMoon · 16/03/2015 22:27

There's no way to post this without pissing some people off, so I apologise in advance, but I think it's fair to say it too!

In our case, bfing really was the easiest thing. I was strict about feeding with a good latch and applied Lansinoh after every feed. We fed on demand, anywhere we needed to. We had a bednest and it made night feeding easy - in fact DH's sleep was hardly disturbed for the first 6 months (mine, however...). DD had a grade IV lip tie and a posterior tongue tie which were treated much later, but we got to grips with good positions and luckily it didn't stop us.

DD was a flat out bottle refuser (also cups, spoons, syringes... nothing but boob). That was pretty hard but DH coped when I went back to training one night a week. We fed until she was 2 and then gradually stopped.

The best thing you can do if you want to breastfeed is read up, find out about bf support groups in advance, and just decide to do it. If you're lucky with a baby who can latch, a good supply of milk, and no allergies etc - then it will work. If things don't go so well, you will have tried, and you'll move on to the next best decision for you and your baby, and you'll still have a happy healthy baby whatever feeding choice you end up with. Milk is only the sole source of nutrition for 6 months - do the best you can, but there's a whole load of other decisions which will have more impact on your child's future in the long run.

It is important to know the facts and to acknowledge that it's not always easy, but sometimes on MN I think we lose sight of the fact that it can be easy for some people, it's not always a stress and a battle, and if you arm yourself with information, you can get the help you need, when you need it.

I know an amazing mother who has 3 young children. One of them has unbelievable allergies. She was told when he was a few months old that he may have to be tube fed for the rest of his life and that he may be life limited. He's now a thriving 3 year old and she couldn't bf or give him any of the available formula milks without causing him agonizing pain - she read up on alternatives (GAPS for those who are interested), and eventually his digestive system healed and he can now eat a whole range of foods. What she had to go through to feed him each day was almost unbelievable. That's always put the formula/bf debate into perspective for me - we all have our preferred options, but if we get a healthy child out of it, we're bloody lucky!

Excitingtimesahead · 16/03/2015 22:50

Ambient they were my reasons too with ds.

I said I really want to bf, I'll do it for the first few days, 2wks, 6wks, 6months, 1yr. 14months later I was still feeding, ds thrived on it. I had lots of negativity from family. But it was right for my family.

Mum has even said this time you won't feed again will you. My reply why would I not it worked so well last time.

Ds had dummy, didn't affect bf. He is now 22 months and self weaned from it at 20months. However he would not take a bottle of expressed in any bottle or cup feed. He just used to wait, on the rare occasion we went out. Then when I returned to work. It work for us. I hope it does this time.

My biggest piece of advice, try to relax. If your stressed baby is, if you know your baby is stressed you stress more vicious cycle.

For bf in public go to primark and buy a snood. Perfect for accessorising, and covering up esp in summer months. I had loads, perfect when we were aboard. Bf in a bikini is very revealing lol.

Mummyboo30 · 16/03/2015 22:51

Shoot great post, well put. A good friend of mine also had terrible trouble with her little lad and struggled to find a way of feeding him without causing him pain for a long time. But they are getting there.

Shin I wasn't trying to cause any sort of argument/debate, just posting what my understanding of it was from when I did lots of googling with DD (3 years ago) However anyone wants or is able to feed their little one will be the best way for them. I don't judge others for how they do things, just as I hope not to be judged by others.

I had a very difficult time establishing feeding with DD. Caused by the midwives in hospital telling me we had a good latch when we didn't. They said that if the ears wiggle while they feed, then they are latched. She wasn't at all and within a week I was in such agony and missing parts of both nipples. (They grew back!)
At its worst, I would cry whenever she started crying for a feed - which was often as she wasn't feeding right. And would end up bleeding and horribly upset.

In the end I went to a bf group and they helped me to sort out the latch. And once my poor nips had healed, we were away. I am sure many many women find it as hard as I did or even harder, and had it not been for the bf group I am sure I would have moved to formula as the best choice. Getting support is really important.

I plan to bf this baby, but if it doesn't work out, I won't beat myself up about it!

Excitingtimesahead · 16/03/2015 22:53

It has to be right for you. If your stressed or anxious about it, don't let it affect your physical and mental health.

Happy mummy + happy baby = happy house.

Do whatever it takes to have a happy house.

Surly that's what we all want happy mummy happy baby happy house. Nothing else matters

monkeymoonpig · 17/03/2015 00:43

Have dug out Dream Genii pregnancy pillow - absolute bliss!

Fluffin · 17/03/2015 08:02

Morning all, hope everyone is doing well. Just had a question for those who have done this all before - what are the thoughts on NCT courses? I've registered my interest in a local class, but just wondering how helpful people found it?

misskatamari · 17/03/2015 09:01

Hi everyone! I posted on the first thread but have found it impossible to keep up and have been suffering with awful sickness and nausea so just hoping to jump back in now.

I'm 14 weeks today and all looked well at our 12 week scan. This is our second child, already have a dd who is 14 months. Looking forward to getting to know you all and sharing all the ups and downs over the coming months!

Is there a Facebook group as well? If so please can I join? I'll probably be able to keep up a bit better on there! Smile

misskatamari · 17/03/2015 09:06

Fluffin, we did NCT last time and it was good. I think content wise it can vary a lot depending on teacher, but it's great to meet other local parents. I still see the mums in my group and we just had a lovely joint first birthday party for our little ones. The priority entrance to nearly new sales is worth its weight in gold too! There should be lots coming up over the next month or so and they're fab for picking up bargains!

I'd also really recommend the early days group your hv will sign you up to once you have your baby. You meet lots of local mums and we carried on a weekly meet when ours ended and I've ended up with a really good group of friends from it x

Jessica32 · 17/03/2015 10:02

Hi All, difficult catching up! Was tied up with M day and my birthday and scan yesterday! Was great seeing baby and fingers crossed results come back positive.

My mum was amazing on Sunday. Gave me a card with a beautiful quote about children making the heart too big for the body. AND she gave me a merino/cashmere blanket she's been knitting in secret since Nov as she knew we were ttc! I cried!

I would like to say something on debate etc. I think it is very important and valuable that we can share knowledge and opinions etc. However, some of it has felt a little sweeping and argumentative which is less helpful.

Also, it's interesting how passionate and whipped up people have got over alcohol when other subjects have not caused the same level. E.G. a couple of us posted on riding bikes, horses etc on Fri and it did not result in pages of impassioned posts. I have also noticed one poster say things are personal decisions (which I strongly agree with) but I also recall a week or so ago, the same poster describing doing certain things as 'selfish'. I imagine she has forgotten that which is fine, this is only intended as an example of how particularly strong debate can evolve.

At the end of the day, in an ideal world we would all have the ideal family situation (whatever that is), not eat anything we shouldn't, plenty and enough of everything we should, not be overweight, never drink alcohol, caffeine, chemicals like sweetners or preservatives, avoid pollution, not ride bikes or horses, do the perfect level of excercise, AND not be stressed or worried about anything as that definitely is bad. However, we are all just trying to do the best we can with the vast amount of ever changing advise we have.Smile

The due in September crew head into the second trimester! :) (Thread 6)
ShootTheMoon · 17/03/2015 10:34

welcome and welcome back to people! I've only just recovered the energy to hop back on the thread too.

fluffin, I did NCT last time. I don't think there was one piece of information that I didn't already know from MN and reading, and our group didn't gel at all. I think two of the women still see each other, but that's it. We had a nice enough teacher and a nice enough group, but found it pretty pointless. My long term friends came from my local NHS post-natal group and from various classes and playgroups we attended after DC1 was born. I certainly won't be doing it again, though I do like to get to the NCT sales when I can. They usually let pregnant women in at a similar time to the NCT members. I'm hoping there will be a post-natal group in my new area now I have moved, but I already know plenty of people from DC1s pre-school anyway. My closest friend from my antenatal days is actually a MNer I met on our antenatal thread - we live quite close to each other.

monkeymoonpig I've been using my dreamgenii too but it has a gap where I must have put my knees a lot last time, so it's a bit crap and annoying and I've gone back to using a pillow!

jessica congratulations on your scan :)

Jessica32 · 17/03/2015 10:40

Thanks shoot it is so amazing to see baby. Keep having to remind myself it's still in there when I leave the hospital!

Hoping to have a surprise in terms of gender. There aren't many left in life. Will see if I resist when asked at 20 wk scan. Anyone else going for a surprise?

Cornberry · 17/03/2015 10:47

I'm sure many of you have seen it but if you want a laugh one of the threads in the MN 15th anniversary Classic threads about work disasters had me laughing for about an hour last night. I was in absolute stitches:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/650904-The-Least-Professional-Moments-of-My-Illustrious-Career-Please-Feel?pg=1

Cornberry · 17/03/2015 10:51

jessica aargh I'm so confused about this. I really want to know but also really want the surprise. Can't decide. Also I've got 5 weeks to go until my scan and it's really dragging. Luckily had a midwife appointment on Sunday where she used the machine so we could hear the hearbeat and I was so relieved that there was still something there! The 8 week wait is so tough, and I'm no closer to deciding what to do about finding out the sex. When I think ive made my mind up I speak to someone who changes it!

GoooRooo · 17/03/2015 11:00

Blimey I've loads of catching up to do!

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow. I don't feel pregnant today. I have no idea what's going on and I am completely stressing out about Downs/Edwards/Pataus because I'm 40 and in DS's pregnancy they couldn't get a Nuchal reading so if I end up having the quad test at 16 weeks I may have to make decisions - I am due to go on holiday at 18 weeks.

Re breastfeeding - I had every intention of BF DS. He had jaundice and a posterior tongue tie and never latched properly so I expressed for a month then moved to formula. Expressing is soul destroying. I really hope I manage to BF this time, otherwise I will be moving to formula much quicker than last time. No one should be judged for how they fed their baby. Does anyone look at other adults and think "I bet that one wasn't breastfed?" Wink

ShootTheMoon · 17/03/2015 11:02

thanks cornberry, might take a look at that, I need cheering up today!

As for finding out the sex - we did last time but didn't tell anyone - it was nice to keep it to ourselves! This time we will find out (if we can - there was some uncertainty with DD because the cord was between her legs anyway). I want to be able to tell DD she's having a brother or a sister, I want to be able to focus on one set of names or another, and I want to avoid the wittering that went on from grandparents last time about finding out! I am very much not into the whole blue/pink thing so it's not about that, but this time around we just want to know where we are, really.

Plus, I have a friend who is due with a girl any day now, and I will hand over any clothes that I can't reuse if I'm having a boy, so they won't be wasted. I'm happy enough to mix up colours and patterns but there are a few items of DD's clothing even I wouldn't put onto a boy (they weren't clothes I bought, funnily enough!)

ShootTheMoon · 17/03/2015 11:09

GooRoo you're completely right! About tongue ties and lip ties though - if anyone on here is planning on breastfeeding, definitely read up on ties - you have to be so pushy to get treated but they can have lasting effects, beyond just immediate feeding choices. DD's lip tie was so thick that even though it was lasered at 16 months, she has a huge gap between her front teeth and will probably have braces at some stage.

Actually, everyone should read up about lip and tongue ties, it can cause colic, reflux, and gagging, even with bottle feeding which some babies find easier. This website is a good read: www.mommypotamus.com/a-step-by-step-guide-to-diagnosing-tonguelip-ties/

DD was a terrible sleeper and I think it had a lot to do with having major ties - she had awful colic as she clicked and took in a lot of air when feeding, so wanted to feed little and often. When this baby is born, I'll be checking for ties within the first hour if I can - I want it dealt with!

GoooRooo · 17/03/2015 11:26

Yep - DS had reflux, ShootTheMoon.

I had his tongue tie snipped privately and am glad, but it didn't help with BF.

DS got very ill. On the Friday (two days after he was born) I told the midwife during a home visit that he wasn't latching properly and I was concerned he wasn't getting enough milk. She dismissed me out of hand. By Monday he was in hospital and had to be rescucitated at one point. He dropped from 6lbs 8oz to 4lbs 2oz over the weekend. I wish I had trusted my instincts more and given him formula. He is fine now - healthy, strong (almost) three year old.

I didn't find out the sex with DS and don't plan to this time even though DH is DYING to find out. I liked the 'it's a boy!' moment after the birth. But like with feeding decisions - it's such a personal choice.

Cornberry · 17/03/2015 11:39

shoot I like the idea of finding out and not telling anyone... Might be a good compromise. Did you tell people you didn't know or that you did but it was a secret?

ShootTheMoon · 17/03/2015 11:44

gooroo, so sorry you had a tough time, you were treated awfully :( We'll be going private again for the revision if we can't get what we need on the NHS. DD's story is long, but in short she couldn't really chew and swallow food with her ties, so the problem came when she was weaning. It took her 5 months to gain 1lb from 11-16 months, then after the revision she put on 1lb in 3 weeks!

cornberry we just told people that we weren't finding out, including family. It kept it private for us. Also, since her cord had been in the way, we weren't 100% sure that they were correct (they were). I know lots of people having babies at the moment - some say they are keeping it a secret, others will tell the sex but not the name they've decided on. Whatever you want to do is fine, I think - it's your baby!

misskatamari · 17/03/2015 11:44

I'm hoping to breastfeed this time around and am praying for an easier time than last time. We had a horrendous first few weeks where my little girl wouldn't latch and ended up back in hospital mix feeding and expressing. Even with support it was a very dark time. I eventually discovered nipple shields and they were a revelation. Some people worry they affect supply but I never had an issue with that and ended up feeding dd for almost 14 months (she's just self weaned). I'm going to be much more prepared this time round and will take formula to cup feed if needed and I have a Medea swing pump to use if I need to express. It can be so tough at first and I know I found all the hormones post birth made it seem like such a huge deal for me to be able to breastfeed and not give up. I'm definitely hoping I can be more chilled out about it second time around!

Quinandthem · 17/03/2015 11:53

I ebf my dd and found it ok. I did go to the bf drop in sessions (2 a wk) to begin with and then as something to do!

Also used nipple shields when my nipples got sore in early days and poor latch.

Tried to introduce bottles to late and she refused till 5 months

THEworrywart · 17/03/2015 11:56

Well, I've been Informed by my GP and one of my consultants I might nt be able to breast feed as it makes you burn calories faster and they wouldn't recommend it for me! I still want to give it a go though Sad

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