October 14. Thread 12. Still no babies? Let the raspberry leaf tea drinking commence

[YellowWellies]

New Fred

Woohoo I'm officially on maternity leave! So glad, I'm really struggling physically now!

My DH works away in the week and generally stays away. He works for himself so has some flexibility. I've told him next week is his last week staying away overnight and he will have to commute! I've always laboured in the night so do worry he won't make it home. It would be souch easier if you knew the exact date it was going to arrive

My boyfriend currently on 4th can of Stella. I asked him to stop drinking more than he could drive on at 35 weeks... I think that's been conveniently forgotten!

I've just read The Food of Love. I've got Bump too, and I like her style. I'm so torn on how I want to do things. Part of me wants to go down the whole sling wearing, co sleeping, breastfeeding for yonks route... the other part of me wants to Gina Ford from week two.

I keep thinking that we're only going to do this once, we should take the time not to 'train' our child, but spend proper time with her/him. It doesn't have to be me doing the carrying, once breastfeeding is established we could express and bottle feed... we're going to do the cot next to the bed thing anyway, so that's pretty much a 'safe' way of co-sleeping.

I guess you end up doing what ever suits you and your child, and it's a combo of the two approaches.

I guess you end up doing what ever suits you and your child, and it's a combo of the two approaches

Think you hit the nail on the head there Goats. No one method will work for you but you will find your own way of doing things in time that works best for you and whatever interesting little personality you end up with!

So sad to hear all the stories of loss - my heart goes out to you all. Makes me feel bad for ever complaining about our parents as we are so lucky to have them around still.

Evening ladies...wow I struggle to keep up here! Yes, yes, yes to feeling uncomfy, lack of sleep & wishing mat leave was here. 3 wks/9 days of work left. A few people in work think I won't make it to end of this month so I received a lovely wee gift for baby from a lady in work today, bless her...tho she's got me worried now!

Shattered a lot now... Constant pressure below & can't stop eating at the mo so I'm wondering if bump has dropped & given my stomach more room. Did a full time week at work this week so off to kip in a mo.

On the plus side, DD has started to take her first few steps...she's 13 months. Sad she's growing up but glad I won't need to cart her 10kg weight about as much!

34 wk mw appt tomorrow so will find out soon enough I guess..

Bump pic at 34+1

Ooh granny you give me hope ds is one on Monday and I'm hoping he will start walking soon as I'm struggling to carry him up the stairs! He really so a big lad for his age and is built like a tank hopefully he will start walking soon like your dd.

No one ever thinks I will ever make it to full term I always bloomin' do though!!

Ps yes childbirth/being a mum totally makes you appreciate what your parents did for you.. Unfortunately like a few on here, I lost both parents within 15 months of each other when I was 19..is always emotional the first few weeks after birth anyway but they are always in my thoughts particularly then. One of my cousins sent me a pic she'd found of my folks with me when I was 4 months old...is a fab pic & great to see it (& DH is wondering if any of his kids will look like him as babies after seeing it!) but had brought a few tears up recently just looking at it.

I've explained to DS who is in the pic but haven't mentioned death etc/that they're no longer here (he adores DH's mum & loves shouting "Granny" as soon as he sees her, in his wee English accent!). I'm not sure how I'll answer him if he asks where they are..

Ha ha yes pregnant me too...I'm always 9/11 days late...for once I'm hoping I don't go early so I get a rest after finishing up work

Yeah I was beginning to wonder if DD would do same as DS...he crawled at 8 months but didn't walk til he was 15 months..but I guess she's fed up if crawling at lightening speed trying to keep up with him

goats think what captain says is right, it's hard though because you kind of want to have a plan in mind for how you want to parent and no matter how much information you have before the baby arrives the choice is kind of taken out of your hands by the baby!

For what it's worth a routine worked for my three which I guided them into after a few weeks but some days it worked some days it didn't. I'm under no illusions that I've got it cracked though! This one will probably be completely different and I won't be getting to stressed by routine or a certain style of doing things.

Too not to god my grammar is getting worse!

Goats spot on - just pick and choose what suits.

For what its worth starting Gina Ford at two weeks (she used to insist on 4 hourly feeds and not a great deal of skin to skin / cuddling in the edition I read - not sure if she changed that as she got a lot of flack for it) isn't likely to be that compatible with BF long term as baby will still be building up your supply.

Also pals who followed her plan religiously have found themselves stuck with babies in such rigid routines that they won't nap anywhere but their cot so got very tied to the house, so missed out on lots of social stuff. That's likely an extreme case and certainly pals with twins have sworn by it. I have to confess I thought about following her routine until j arrived but then the whole 'you vs baby' style just felt unnatural. I guess its possibly easier for her to implement as a nanny without her own kids than to do to your newborn as a mum. But its very personal. She's definitely the marmite of parenting styles.

And you can do as much or as little 'attachment parenting' (I hate that label!) as suits. We did EBF, some baby wearing and the side crib but didn't cosleep as all parties slept better in their own beds. On our last MN 'bus' sleep trained babies certainly didn't sleep any better than babies which weren't so don't feel you have to do it one way or else risk shit sleep forever! Equally babies which aren't babyworn or BF will still be beautifully attached and in love with their Mummies.

You'll figure out a style that's perfect for all of you.

Sorry to hear of all the losses too. I can't imagine how tough that is. Makes me appreciate how lucky we are to have mine and DH's parents around and able to offer support.

We got back from a lovely weeks holiday on Tuesday that was over our first wedding anniversary as a bit of a redo of our disastrous honeymoon last year. It was so nice to just do nothing and to eat lovely food and not have to cook etc. Only problem was that I can't walk for more than about 10 minutes without feeling like I'm going to pee my pants or getting terrible back pain so we didn't do as much exploring as we usually would do on holiday.

Got the confirmation email from M&P that car seat and pushchair are being delivered on Monday and had a call that new sofas should be with us next week too. We have a little bit of nursery furniture and the snuzpod to assemble and then I think we are laying off the decorating and house stuff for a bit. Don't think our bank balance can take much more anyway!

Poor DH has exams for his masters course that he does alongside fulltime job 10 days before baby's due date and he's starting to freak out that he hasn't done enough revision. I need to not put more pressure on him to get the last rooms decorated as I'm sure the baby won't notice! He keeps asking me to make sure the baby doesn't come early though ...not sure I have much say in that. Maybe that's a good reason to stay away from all the evacuation tips!

I'm sort of jealous of everyone talking about maternity leave starting. I'm in a weird but amazingly lucky position in that I work doing a very specialised job for a very small company owned by someone who I consider to be like family. They have offered for me to be on full pay and I don't really have to commit to a fixed maternity leave period, we can just see how we go. Now this is absolutely amazing financially and I am very, very grateful, however it does mean the boundaries of when I actually stop working are a bit blurred. Especially as there really isn't anyone else who can take on my job role. From now on I am going to mainly be working from home and my last bit of travelling will be end of September when I will be 36 weeks. I'll probably keep working from home doing bits and pieces until I go into labour and will still be answering some emails and doing small jobs when baby is first here...although I may be being extremely naive about that part! People keep asking me when I'm starting maternity leave and I never really know what to say...

I think it's just sort of bad 'luck' that the people I know who have been vocally quite loud about Gina Ford are really controlling people.. so you know, I tend to think it comes over as mean because of the way they speak about it. And conversely, the people I know who have gone down the 'attachment parenting' direction, are total hippies.. so I tend to think it comes over as wishy washy.

At 18 months though, I'd say their children are pretty similar in independence levels, 'happiness' (in so much as you can judge that) etc.

I read up on both Gina and attachment but basically just did what suited DS best, which was both/neither. I wasn't keen on routine but he naturally established his own pattern of sleeping/eating at about the same times each day and I was adamant that he'd sleep in his cot and never with us but here he is at 2yrs old happily snoozing in our bed and has been since 5months. So I've learnt that I really don't have much say in the matter! I think it's natural to be flexible and flow like a stream and as long as everyone is happy and healthy, how you get there isn't a big deal.

Aye as much as you think you might damage your kids by doing one approach or not doing something a certain way, they're robust critters! Love isn't quite all they need but its close.

I'm probably more down the hippy route but am pretty strict with j on manners and behaviour, and we have a fairly set bedtime routine, however one thing I could never do was leave him to cry at night. He's a great sleeper so proof you don't have to sleep train if you don't want to. Everyone will have stuff they can and can't do and quite often its not what you expect you'll be like before baby arrives!

I think we will lean more towards attachment style but just see how we go. Hoping having a bit of an open mind about it will be a good thing although it may result in us being super inconsistent and making a mess of things . We have some friends who swear by the Gina Ford methods and they were insistent we read up on it last time we saw them but I feel like it might be a bit too prescriptive. Maybe I should just have a read and see what I think.

It is very prescriptive - on the days they (and you!) sleep in til 9.30 she'd have you wake them at 7 for the routine! Errr sod that - enjoy the sleep! Only a nanny with the weekend off would suggest that. Babies will tend to fall into a routine of their own accord anyway as they are critturs of habit.

I agree that you find your own groove. A rigid routine will only add unnecessary stress. One thing I intend to stick to is to never wake a sleeping baby with the possible exception of a dream feed....but we'll see.

so our shower is over the bath. As I was stepping in this evening my foot slipped. I didn't fall but oh my goodness the instant fanjo pain took my breath away! My right hip immediately started hurting and it was a good few seconds before I could put weight on my right leg without shooting pains in the fanjo area! Ouch!

Ok, I'm aiming for some sleep tonight. Separate rooms, haven't eaten or drunk much since 5.30, drugged up the heartburn then cheated and took some piriton. Hopefully knock me and the baby out for a bit. I don't think 6 hours sleep is too much to ask for one night a week!

Good luck with the sleep Goats. I would do anything to have a good chunk of unbroken sleep too, but my bladder has other ideas.

Yellow and mum2kiss that's what I was afraid of with the Gina stuff. I think we will just muddle along and go with baby if we can.

Blimming heck, I have had a huge day! I took all of your advice & phoned & badgered all manner of Dr's & Diabetes Specialists until I got to see the diabetes Dr in the hospital. I have been put on insulin & have taken 2 doses so far. After my 9.1 this am I thought I had better do something proactive. Thanks so much everyone I really needed a kick from you guys to act!
My glucose levels are still a little high but I guess 1/2 day in 0.3 above recommended is getting there.

Good stuff CJ I'm only on one insulin shot a day and metformin tablets so you did well to be seen today as those were high readings. Glad to see the docs aren't afraid to prescribe the big guns. xx

Just make sure you stick to your meal and snack carb allowance as now you're on insulin hypoglycemia is now a risk. I had my first hypo yesterday because I missed a snack.

So sorry to read about all the losses; I can't possibly imagine - un-MN-y hugs to all.

Had physio today, given a bump support belt to wear as have a shonky hip & lower back. Much more comfortable for walking though not great when sitting. Going to London for friend's engagement thrash tomorrow so will come in handy.

Up - again - after (TMI warning) waking with a gobful of liquid stomach contents - again. Went for nap earlier today & almost choked on it. Sleeping with 3 pillows, not eating late, taking meds. End of wits with it, sphincter muscle at top of stomach just isn't working at all. Really getting me down. Poor lovely DP. Overtired, burpy, farty, cankley, crumbled tooth, crap bladder, cries at nothing, yakking food.

sings Everything about me so sexy...

Oh well, hello stupid o clock in the morning again. Actually slept for 4 1/2 hours but am now wide awake and have our antenatal class today so will be dropping off this afternoon.

I didn't actually realise there were different ways of looking after a baby, I thought the routine thing was the older way that no one did any more and the baby led thing was the new way. We were planning on just feeding etc when needed to start with then trying to establish a routine. Guess I should read up a bit, I'm sure motherhood was easier for our parents by just following their instinct!