November 1014 - thread 5 - the rainbow collective romping (and limping) into 2nd trimester!

[weeonion]

hi folks - thought we should have a new thread!

Random - how annoying, having a melt down sounds perfectly reasonable to me in your circumstances! I had a strop yesterday because DH did not print off a form I asked him to at work! Not so reasonable! I hope your scan for your neck goes ok and all is well.

I haven't felt any movements yet, am 17+3 so a bit worried that I haven't felt any, but also think maybe I just don't know what to look for. Really looking forward to the next scan now, 20 days to go!

Has anyone else been looking at nurseries? It seems incredibly early to me but friends have advised me to get my name down asap as all the good ones are heavily oversubscribed. I have been looking this week while it's half term. It's so hard to choose one. Some I just didn't like at all and others were so nice, which is now making me worry in case I don't get offered a place at my favourite ones. I have been advised to put my name down for about 5, but have only found 3 I like so far. They seem to range from £41 - £59 per day, which seems to be a huge range, as they all seem to provide a very similar service on paper. The cheaper ones don't provide nappies, but that doesn't really account for the cost difference. Would be interested to hear what other people's experience of nurseries are/finding good ones. What should I be looking for?

hopeful I looked at nearly 30 different childminders and nurseries before choosing a suitable one. It was a long slog but you have to be happy as they're in charge of your most precious possession.

I opted for CM because DS was only 9 months when I went back to work, this worked for me when he was 2 I sent him to nursery.

You have to trust your instincts and visit each one, I went to one childminder and she had the tv on, this was a huge no no for me so I said thank you but no thank you and was honest when she asked why.

OMG - nurseries and childminders? I haven't even bought any baby items yet! I only just ordered some maternity trousers! Now I'm worried that my don't jinx it by buying stuff approach will lead to me having nowhere to send this baby when I go back to work!

Barmy, I had that feeling twice last week like just before my period starts but it hasn't come back since. Not worried as there will be a lot of stretching/growing going on in that area. But if it persists, I would contact your MW.
BrandSnob, they don't normally check iron at the 16 week appt unless they are worried or monitoring something. Lucky you getting to have another scan. I'm curious to know what a 'managed' vaginal birth is?!

I shouldn't say this, but I really, really want a nice cold glass of white wine right now! I have been writing reports all week, wondering why I hate it more than usual, and have realised it is normally because I tackle them with a glass of wine to get going!

Barmy I think it's perfectly fine to say that! I've been doing a particularly arduous Excel-based job today and I really really want one too. Friday nights are the hardest, I find.

How is everyone getting on? I have my 20 week scan on July 1st so deciding whether to find out baby sex or not! What is everyone else doing? I didn't find out with my second and the surprise was nice but m y husband wants to find out i think and i am tempted but then think i will regret it!

Can i ask if anyone has had more than 3 c sections? When i went to my dating scan the midwife gave me a printoff about sterilisation as this will be my third section but i really don't want to be sterilised as i always wanted 4 children. i didn't tell her this as she took me by surprise but when i spoke to my community midwife when i had my second son and who i have this time aswell she said as long as i healed well without any complications and left enough time between sections then i should be ok. I was thinking of waiting at least 2 years from this baby to the next one if i try again.

I left 21 months this time from my last pregnancy and getting pregnant this time. It just really upset me as don't want to be pressurised in to being sterilised. Does anyone else have any experience on this?

We won't be using a nursery due to the extortionate prices and ill be going back to uni not work so my income would be low.

2 boys they can't make you do anything, but I think if you left it 2-4 years next time it would be fine :)

Yep barmy and impossible I would love a chilled glass of white wine right now. And then maybe another, and snaffle one of my friend's fags. Not going to happen though, my fag-snaffling days are over even if the wine might be possible by Christmas!

I'm just back from my 16 week appointment. I have A- blood apparently which means I need the rhesus injection, boo. Also, I can't have a home birth because I'm not in their catchment area - or rather, I can have a home birth, but only if I transfer to a different hospital with a poor reputation, which I don't want to do.

Is anybody else a complete coward about needles? I was meant to have a blood test today, but the veins in both arms retracted, and the poking around in there left me really woozy and dripping sweat, which seems to be my reaction to anything but the most straightforward needle stuff. Since there are about to be a lot more needles in my life I really need to get better at dealing with them without nearly fainting!

Oh for goodness sake, what an innappropriate thing for the midwife to do!

I had a patient the other day who'd had 5 sections. Admittedly the last two were unplanned kids! Her DH has since had the snip! She didn't have much problems, but she had a consultant who she said was pretty cool about it and joked with her that 5 wasn't even the most he'd done.

If you haven't had any complications, whats the big deal?

OMG 2boys that's awful - you're not a cat, you're a person. They're right to give you all the information so that you can make an informed decision but they should absolutely not make any assumptions that you would want sterilisation and they should DEFINITELY not pressure you into it - to do so would be a breach of the Nursing & Midwifery Council Regulations.

Annarose, what do you do if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 35 now so if i did go for a fourth then i would leave trying until i was about 38. I still wouldnt be sterilised but my husband would probably have the snip. It always seems to depend who you see on the day so im hoping when i go for my 34 week appointment that they are less rigid and advise me as an individual case as in when i have my third see what everything looks like inside and go from there. This midwife just gave me the handout and said the limit is 3 but people do have 4 or 5 then pulled a face! My first section was an emergency then second an elective but wish in a way i had tried VBAC but when i had my first the doctor suspected i had a small pelvis so that is why i opted for an elective second time as doctor tried to encourage me the VBAC route.

What is everyone craving? I am craving apple juice and when i buy it i drink the whole bottle in a day! Totally gone off vegetables which is bad but loving my fruit so hope that balances it out.

Thanks Venus. That put my mind at rest as I thought i missed out on a test.

How awful Random. Hopefully he stops being awkward and your little girl gets to see the new baby in time.

2boys, I hope those notes were handed across with some tact as it sounds like a very insensitive assumption to make

Wow, I really didn't know you had to consider looking at nurseries so early. I have no intention of going back to work as last year I realised how much I wanted to be a SAHM if money allows If I do go back it will be for the minimum amount of time needed to qualify for maternity leave for DC no. 2.

Oh yeah Barmy. I had a quick google and a 'managed' vaginal birth seems to be along the lines of a VBAC. Not that I know what that entails either. Hopefully my next appointment with the anaesthetist will clear things up.

She just handed them to me with my caesarian section notes and said that my options will be discussed at my 34 weeks appointment but 3 sections is the recommended limit. She wrote in my maternity noted that she had given me handouts on c section and sterilisation. I understand they have to inform you of the risks but i thought that they would leave discussing something so final until at least i had had 4 or more? Not at just 3 when everything may still be looking ok inside. Definately going to speak to my community midwife. Luckily she is really nice and approachable.

I'm a SAHM at the moment as after my second the childcare fees would have been more than my wages! I do enjoy it though although some days i feel like i'm pulling my hair out haha! Enjoy, whatever choice you make.

2boys, there are increased risks of multiple repeat Caesarean sections, and I believe those risks start to increase more rapidly after the third, which is why sterilisation is discussed at that stage (I say discussed, but this midwife's way of handling it sounds more like a tactless recommendation!). Having said that, the most CS I've known a lady to have is 9 - Mum and baby were fine! If you're ok with the risks then just say no, they can't force you as Alita said.

I've been sent home from work today after a particularly unpleasant bout of vomiting. Think the sickness is keeping the alcohol cravings at bay at the moment, still can't think about my usual tipples without a wave of nausea!

Gosh, very organised to be looking at nurseries already, Hopeful. I'm planning to go back to work part time, and was planning on DC going to nursery, so will have to start looking in to it. Still can't really believe there's a small person growing inside me leg alone I'm going to have to leave them with someone else

I'm going to be a SAHM and can't wait to spend as much time as possible bonding with my baby. Feel privileged to be in this position but hope to make friends with similar aged babies so it doesn't get too lonely. Hopefully the NCT antenatal and postnatal courses will help with that.

I'm hoping not to need a nursery for this one, as DSis is due six weeks ahead of me, we've provisionally agreed to both work part time, and look after each other's babies for the other part of the week. DS will be in school by then (sob my baaay-beeee! sob) so will be out of nurseries altogether with a bit of luck!

We skipped looking for nurseries as we knew we were planning on moving shortly after ds was born. Looked down here when we had a move in date, found a great one, and their waiting list is 12 months! Um.
Ihave my own practice though, and dm and dh do a day with him each, so we are lucky enough to not NEED a nursery, but thought at 2 he might enjoy it two mornings a week.

I haven't considered nurseries yet! Haven't even bought anything yet, no maternity or baby stuff. I'm just so worried something will go wrong. I keep thinking 'I'll wait till the next scan and then start getting stuff' but then that still doesn't reassure me. Especially after all the low Papp-a stuff.

Another hormonal mess here. DH not good with tears which makes it even worse, when all he's trying to do is not exacerbate the situation. He's off out out, ie, til the next morning out tomorrow night so really wanted this evening to be nice. Never mind, life can't always go as planned. I do wish I didn't feel like crying every 10 minutes though!

I am starting to wonder what I'll do if dp ends up with a day job instead of working 3 nights a week, as I'll really struggle to do placements then. You can claim back a certain amount of child care costs but that's retrospective so you have to find the money in the first place. uni is usually on 3 days a week for a morning or an afternoon so it's not so difficult to find care then.

Plus I can't imagine how I'd find childcare as we usually only find out our placement 5- 8 weeks beforehand and the 3rd year placements will be 12 week ones. and we can't plan shifts in advance If it's a ward.

Sorry to hear that you are feeling that way blamber. If you are really feeling that worried, do the harmony test. That way you get reassurance that everything is ok and you also get to find out the sex early (if you want) which does make it seem exciting and more real. It would be a shame to go another 5 weeks feeling this way when you could get another scan in a few days and then results in less than 2 weeks after that.

Blamber - yes I had low Papp a and high Hcg (can't remember the full name for it now), nuchal was 2.2 so within the normal range. So mostly the bloods and age that tipped the balance.

I am a great one for avoiding buying stuff just in case it goes wrong . I am getting alarmed by DH looking at stuff on eBay when we haven't had the 20 week scan yet.

Maybe do Harmony/Nifty if that would help. I found the two week wait quite a strain and even now I can't quite shake the feeling that something is wrong.