July 2014 - Here comes the 3rd trimester, hold on to your knickers! Thread 6

[ZingWatermelon]

hope you like the title!

oh ismarah that sucks. Hope they don't take too much getting used to or in the way...on the bright side nobody can claim they need a seat on the bus/train more than you now!!

Can I ask something, which I fear will be controversial having seen a thread on this topic on here. So please refrain from berating me....
Given the beautiful weather I have had both balcony doors (front and back) open wide to keep the air flowing and fresh, however out the front it seems the balcony above like to enjoy a spliff or too.
I am an ardent anti-smoker and anti-drugs and since being pregnant have been giving smokers an even wider berth. I'm not sure there is anything I can do let alone whether I will but I feel so uncomfortable breathing in the neighbour's smoke (whether tobacco or weed) and feel a bit put out as I don't want to have to shut my doors on a beautiful day because of their bad habits.
Anyway, as I said, feel free to ignore this diversion in topic, I just don't think I'd get helpful comments if I set up a specific thread!
So gin to answer your question...yes a haven unless neighbour upstairs has unusual habits!

patch I would have thought try and speak to neighbours but if not could contact the police - I would be tempted to? Does this help www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/08/neighbours-pot-smoke-drifting

ismarah hope they help x

oh dear ismarah I think I'll be on them before long. I have a consultant appointment on wednesday and since I moved hospital to one in another county I don't know where I should be going for physio? .

My local doctors have an in house private acupuncturist who specialises in antenatal stuff so will book a session there although it will cost money I don't have.

ismarah are they helping though? I'm back at the physio on weds to try some out but given my wrist/hand issues they make be a no go. On the other hand my maternity belt has turned up (thank you amazon) so hopefully that will help too!

Support band was a life saver when spd was at its worst auntie hope yours helps too.

liquid hope you find the right person, can you ask on wed?

Woke up with horrible nose bleed 5am so given up on sleep. Went to bed about 9pm last night fell asleep straight away (had intended to read) woke up at what felt like middle of the night. Panicked because dh wasn't there, turns out it was 10.45 and dh was in bathroom! Felt like such a muppet!

I have to make a decision about my maternity cover today. Frankly none of the candidates are really good enough and am really struggling to choose. My boss prefers our internal candidate (who currently reports into me) whereas my gut feeling is an external candidate. But I can't tell if I'm basing that on genuine concerns about the performance of the internal candidate or whether I'm just being a bit funny about handing my job over to someone who is currently my junior. So difficult!

Can you speak to them both again Plate? And what is the future plan for the junior member if they were to take over your job? Will they comfortably go back to reporting to you? Will they use it as a CV point and move on? Or will there be tension and awkwardness?

When my closest level member of staff went on maternity a few years ago, we ended up going through 3(!) covers. None of them lasted - some for good reasons and some for weird reasons. In the end I was hired an assistant part time and I did both jobs. It was awkward as hell during but she came back to her job with a happy team and everything done and me so relieved to get rid of the extra work I'd never been happier to see her at work!

Re the crutches: I've never had crutches before when I haven't broken or dislocated something so there's been a visible reason to be on them. With SPD you're supposed to use them for pretty much everything even on good days so that you extend the amount of good days, if that makes sense. I also have a bad left wrist and a bad right shoulder so although I'm mainly affected by SPD on the right side which means I only need the support on that side, for me it's better to use both crutches. And there are arm crutches and walkers and all sorts...

patch you can't stop someone having a cig on their own balcony. I don't think being able to smell the weed will have any effect on you or the unborn but if it's making you uncomfortable try having a quiet word maybe?

hmmm thanks fifi and ickle yeah it's a hard one isn't it cos they are on private property and it's not my place to tell them how to live their lives. it does seem a bit stupid to me though as their balcony hangs over the street wherr the police regularly cycle/walk past
Anyway, will have a think.and probs just pop upstairs/ask hubby to do so!!
plate sounds like a difficult choice to make on your cover, but if you do go with your junior you can sell it as a temporary development opportunity for them to stretch themselves and hopefully build their experience for the future. Might help set some boundaries, esp. if you suggest putting in some review time with them to help them understand how they are progressing/where might be a good next move. You could even use your KIT days for it

patch are your PCSOs any good? Ours would have a quiet word though def worth reporting in case they're doing more than just smoking it...

ismarah I've never had crutches...

pelvis is really bad today and hardly slept at all last night :( it feels like I've pulled all the muscles in my groin on the left hand side as well as the bone ache in my pubic bone :( if it didn't hurt so much I would be in bed crying under the duvet. Only thing keeping me going is seeing the physio tomorrow. Tr

Ismarah hope the crutches at least help you manage things. Sorry you and Auntie are struggling.

Plate it's tough re mat cover. I can see why you'd prefer someone external, it does make it simpler for you to step back into the role. Is it worth getting one/some external candidates back in for a final review?

My mat cover is supposedly being advertised now but they won't be in place before I finish and I suspect in reality they won't be bothered with the hassle of the process, in the short term muddling through is easier than recruiting and managing someone new. I really want the mat cover to happen as a) it makes it more likely that I'll have a job to return to and b) they are already understaffed and what I look after just won't get dealt with unless they cover the role. It's frustrating but trying not to let it stress me out.

Patch I wouldn't ask, I'd just report him the next time he's doing it. I once asked a neighbour to stop smoking weed on his balcony when we had a flat (it used to make my washing smell) and he ignored me. Ignored me until I called the police, after which he came upstairs and battered on our door (terrifying) and threatened us. If you don't ask him first, he won't know who reported him...

IsMarah I'm so sorry about the crutches. I hope they help at least...

Plate I agree with Ismarah - can you guess how the junior will use the opportunity? Maybe they'll really step up and help out and use it as a CV point. But if it's going to be difficult when you come back it might be worth having a chat to establish boundaries?

Sorry to disappear again. Life keeps getting in the way - was a preggers bridesmaid at my friend's wedding at the weekend, amazing day but it really tired me out!

ismarah - I'm also in the crutches club, have been for a few weeks now as my foot is still playing up. Feel really pathetic as it's not even that painful, but if I try to walk any distance without it I end up hobbling. Bah.

On here for some reassurance. Had my 31 week midwife check last Thurs and my bump measured a bit small (29 cm where it should be 31, and it was 28cm at 28 weeks). The midwife's referred me for a growth scan, but originally the earliest appointment we could get was in 2 weeks time! Luckily DH has been pestering the hospital to see if there were any cancellations, and we've managed to get an appointment for this Thurs. Trouble is, now I know I can have the scan this week, I've started worrying about all the outcomes. Rationally I know that bump measurements are far from an exact science, and that it's probably just the fact I'm small and thin that's causing me to measure small - my cousin's a similar build and had the same thing happen in her pregnancies. But irrationally I've started freaking out that something's wrong and they'll tell me I'll have to be induced prematurely. Tell me to switch my brain off, please!

blood pressure has been low & normal all through pregnancy. on 305mg iron twice a day. have the same left hip/pelvis/pubic pain as auntie but struggling on, dr just told me to keep knees together getting up, plastic bag on car seat and put both feet on stairs before going to next one. noticing my ankles have become cankles, they've lost their definition, got tight swollen calves, feels hard like muscle only it's def not muscle, is this kind of swelling normal or does it need seen to?
also getting bugger all sleep, baby has learned to stretch out and now lives between my hip & ribs on alternative sides, wouldn't let me sleep last night, even OH noticed the crazy rolling abt from baby no matter what shape I propped myself into to, ALL night & up at 5am for work

IABOH - I was measuring 28 at 30 weeks and the consultant didn't worry - she said +/- 3cm was fine. I'm having growth scans anyway for other reasons, but I wan't worried by the measurements, like you say it's not an exact science. Am sure all will be fine!

Thanks plate - I know I'm worrying unnecessarily, really. Weirdly I think I was less worried when I thought I'd have to wait 2 weeks for the scan.

mummy worth checking the swelling with your mw - have you got and appt soon? If you get a bad headache, funny vision or your face swells up then you need to be seen asap as it may be preeclampsia. In the meantime drink plenty of water and prop your feet up. Sorry you're suffering too. Its shit isn't it? If I sit still I'm ok but turning over at night and everything else hurts like and I'm following all the advice. I've taken to going to bed with a hot water bottle between my legs which helps for the first hour.

I'm measuring way over holiday but the mw said its probably the way baby is led so please try not to worry.

I haven't even thought about my maternity cover - I'll have only been in the job 8 weeks but they're going to cover me though haven't started looking yet...

Thanks for the advice about the maternity cover - I've made a decision and I feel more confident now I'm making it for the right reasons. Just need to convince my boss who favours the other candidate!

Hating having to leave my team in a state - we'll hopefully have completed recruiting all the new team members by the time I leave, but most of them won't have started by then so there's a big job to do embedding the new team and I really don't feel confident about leaving the job to someone else.

So glad I waited til I was off work before putting DS in pants overnight. It's been over a week but we've had our first accident. He came into our room this morning saying his trousers were wet.... Then added it's not wee though...

Aww fifi bless him

I'm now a member of the crutches club and there is offically nothing more they can do for my pelvis at the moment... Visiting the new hospital was interesting... the physio dept is miles away from the entrance!

Ive been away for a few days to visit my grandma in Kent - she is 91 this year and this will be her first great-grandchild. She is very frail now but I really hope she sticks around to meet him...

Its been fun catching up with the various musings going on but probably a bit late to helpfully respond comprehensively. Therefore, in brief

Gin - new career prospects so exciting. Although I love my job I quite often have daydreams about alternatives - vintage clothes shop is my current favourite.

Patch - most of the weed smokers I have met are reasonable people. I imagine they would be so scared of getting busted that they will do whatever you want if you have a quiet word!

IABOH - my bump didnt even make it on to the chart at 29 weeks, but a growth scan shows baby boy is 50th centile (average). Measurements can be wildly inaccurate, and even ultrasound estimates are not fool-proof. Likely to be A-Ok

Hi All. Just back from a mega appointment at new hospital (Have switched from Redaing to Basingstoke). Apart from a few hiccups (they had registered me under DHs date of birth making me under 35 when I am 41) it was all very good.

I am booked in for a turning as baby is still breech which will happen in 2 1/2 weeks and apparently will feel 'very weird' according to the consultant. If baby still breech after that then I may have to have a CS, although I am happy that they check right before the CS to see if the baby has turned and if it has they will induce me for normal birth.

So basically I will be giving birth at 39 weeks. Because of age I would have been induced before 40 weeks anyhow but nice for new hospital to confirm this. Am still hoping for 28/29/30 June baby.

In the meantime am singing Travis's song 'Turn' to the bump and trying to book some acupuncture...

liquid I'll join you in singing that as my little one still happily transverse...I say happily, only happy for he or she as blooming uncomfortable for me!

So sorry to hear about the move to crutches auntie and ismarah :( really hope they make a difference and the next few weeks pass quickly for you

mummy I would second what auntie said and get yourself checked out as the swelling could be an indication of preeclampsia

Well, DM landed back in the uk is morning after a v difficult trip to see Gma, Gma still hanging in there but very very weak, barely eating and not really getting out of bed anymore. We've no idea whether it will be days, weeks or even months that she limps along for hence DM coming home as difficult to just wait around. My early start to pick her up from the airport is now catching up with me though I have just treated myself to this dress which I'm hoping I don't stretch beyond recognition with my bump as I could really do with a size 12 but they've only got 10's left even online. It's soooo comfy though and looks surprisingly ok with my bump!

Currently in denial of the fact DS has been asleep for too long this afternoon and I should really go and wake him...enjoying the quiet a bit too much! Ooh...and we have grass in the back garden now too which is very exciting!! Just need to get rid of all the rubble from the paving DH has dug up now!

zing I'm guessing you're up to your eyes in boxes but just to say I'll be thinking of you with the big move over the next few days... Hope all goes well and that the new house is everything you've dreamt of :)

liquidand blue walking is supposed to be good for turninh baby

blue I want a comfy dress like that one looks- size 10 is a no go for me though!

Lots of sympathy to all on crutches hope they help and quickly!

plate hope you feel happier handing over at the end. I've just found out that I will be doing handover then they are not starting until Sept- ridiculous! Who will be doing my job for the last 4 months? Half of me says don't think about it the other half is just so frustrated for my team that I've worked so hard with this year. So annoying!

Meant to be going out tonight but just cancelled as shattered after a tough day. I go from having loads of energy feeling great to crashing so quickly

My bumps measuring large still but they weren't concerned enough for growth scans- the offer still stands to share it!