July 2014 - Here comes the 3rd trimester, hold on to your knickers! Thread 6

[ZingWatermelon]

hope you like the title!

The anaesthesiologist appointment is to see what, if any, pain relief is suitable for me and in what doses. I have contrary reactions to some drugs, am allergic to some and others require larger doses than standard.

At this point I've been told the same thing regarding my suitability for an ELCS by 4 different doctors. So I'm feeling like I should listen to their advice but that leaves me worrying about my future mobility and anything that might go wrong.

I feel like I have no control or influence over this process, I feel forced into things I don't want and I feel like this might seriously affect my feelings about birth and bean. I've had anxiety and depression in the past and I can feel myself disengaging from the process. I'm showing up to appointments and doing all the things but in body only, not spirit. And am still sad.

Your consultant sounds really unhelpful ismarah. You would hope that if the medical evidence is so overwhelming she'd happily engage in a discussion about this rather than point blank refuse the option of ELCS. I don't think you would decide on a rather major surgery without genuinely believing it is the best option for you. It's just sad that so many doctors treat patients like they are total morons.

If it is spoiling the whole pregnancy experience for you and making you feel anxious (that's definitely not going to help when it comes to labour) I'd look for another consultant not just one that will sign off ELCS for the sake of it but one that will actually let you have say in your treatment. After all it's going to be you doing all the hard work!

awww ismarah you shouldn't be made to feel like that. If ELCS is what you want, then you can get one. Unless there is any contraindication to it, there shouldn't be a problem. If the consultant is not agreeing to it because she does't think it is essential, then do push for one. I think it is so important to be involved with the decision making about the birth. If it is going to cause you anxiety, then please push for it! There are a lot of threads that can help. Good luck

Oh zing your words earlier brought back memories of when my DD was born.....

Every night I tucked her in and gave her a kiss and sat beside her cot watching her fall to sleep - just when she was drifting off I would kiss her again and say "mummy loves you" when she got a bit bigger it melted my heart the first time she nodded in response to my words.

Now 11 years on we still kiss goodnight and say love you ..... I can't wait to start all that again :)

Coco - are you having a boy? I had similar itching last time, and the doctor told me it was because I was allergic to all the boy hormones in my body. They ran tests to see if it was something more serious, but nothing came up. Definitely mention it to the MW, but it might be that...

This time, no itching at all. Baby is a girl .

ismarah - I'm going to go against the grain and say your consultant sounds helpfully frank, even if she's not giving you the answer you wanted. At least it sounds like she's against c-section for you for specific medical reason rather than just being generally anti signing off ELCSs.

But I get that even if VB is objectively lower-risk for you then it might still feel a lot more uncertain (at least you go into ELCS with a pretty good idea of what the experience is going to be).

Is the obstruction to water birth something specific about water birth or just because they want you consultant-led through birth and the facilities won't be available?

If you do end up having to go down the VB route, do you think a really kick-ass doula would be helpful? Both for helping you with the anxiety stuff in the lead-up and also so you have a really strong personal advocate on the day.

Crappy situation though

Arhh pixie that's really cute!

Yay for fifi now we can all be jealous as gradually people wind down. A lady at ny nct is fue 3 days before me but is finishing a month before as she has holiday to use up- boo to teaching abd having to be paid maternity pay over summer hols!!!

jasmine I'm planning on buying couple of packs of sleeveless, short sleeved and long sleeved vests in new born and 0-3. Its likely we will be given clothing as presents (I always like buying gifts of clothes) so not going to worry about that stuff for now. Will get a hat, a pack of scratch mittens and MIL is knitting a cardi!

ismarah really sorry to hear that you are starting to feel disengaged, can you get dh/dp to step in and try and explain why this is so important? I can imagine after 4 drs sayingasame thing it's hard to know what the best thing to do is...remember that the most important thing is that you and baby are safe and well. Although birth is all we can think about now there is so much more to come!

lemon and coco I get really itchy feet in warm weather normally just smother antihistamine cream its driving me insane! Interesting to hear about boy hormones we are having a surprise although as I say itching is just normal heat rash here..

ismarah that sounds frustrating. You don't need a medical reason (according to NICE guidelines) to request a ELCS anymore. Though if there is a medical reason not to then I'd probably want to try and understand it, especially as that's the fourth view of that inclination you've received. Have a think and if it's definitely what you want, then keep changing consultants and keep asking until you get it agreed. There are threads on here with all the evidence and quotes from the guidelines you can use to pursuade.
On another note, your plan b sounds nice, but might be irrelevant. I recently found out Frimley only has one pool (and according to my nct lead it will be touch and go as to whether it'll even be open by July) So even it was allowed (for either of us) likelihood of getting to use it is tiny. Good news is though now Frimley has been refurbished all rooms have a bath, which you can use for pain relief if water is your means of choice. Whether consultants led or mlu, they can't stop you having a bath!
FX you managed to progress your request quickly.

On the subject of clothes - I've mainly bought vests and sleepsuits as that was also the advice I've been given from friends etc and don't want to buy too much, especially if it's just not needed. But what about when I go out with the baby? And bring her home from the hospital? Surely she'll need more than that won't she?? (Aside from a blanket and hat). I'm finding it confusing!

Thank you all for your encouragement - it means a lot as this isn't really something I can talk about to anyone other than DH and medical staff IRL.

To clarify - I am being told that where my inclination based on medical history would be that a C section would be safest (and in my fears, the most likely eventual outcome), based on medical research and literature (as well as the consultant's experience) a section is basically contraindicated for me.

They all seem convinced I should have a VB and it'll be better for me in the long term - which I don't disagree with in principle - I just lack the conviction that it'll go as smoothly as they seem to think.

JayKay is right also - the pool is unlikely to be available (although we are allowed to move hospitals if we have our heart set on it - Royal Guildford is supposedly good) even if I turn out to be allowed to use it.

Right now I'm trying to stay engaged and not freak out too much and hopefully by the time I see the consultant again in 3 weeks, I will have wrapped my head around this. Hopefully I'll have seen the physio and anaesthesiologist by then too so will know what options are realistic.

Fox I'm pretty sure babies can just wear whatever - sleep suits, baby gro and pj bottoms - in public. Especially in the summer when managing heat might be more of an issue than managing cold IYSWIM...And who doesn't like to accessorise with a nice blanket?

fox we are planning sleep suit (with vest under) and maybe a cardigan/blanket. You might be given a new born outfit you can use if would prefer.

ismarah glad it's useful to have somewhere to chat to about these things.

Spent the morning with friend and her 2 week old baby- shes huge! Born 9lb 8 but so long! Also so settled, sat in bouncy chair whilst we ate lunch and lots of long cuddles. If only mine could be as settled would be a dream!

So talk to me a about nappy bins, friend loves hers but seem a waste to me. Ideally would just get a bin with seal that stops smells escaping but can't find anything like that!

Just saw a nappy bin at NCT sale but didn't understand either how it would keep the smell in. Does a nappy sack not keep the smell in? Or maybe take the bin out each day?

Got lots of short sleeve vests in a variety of tiny baby / newborn / 0-3 so will have something to start with whatever size he is. Also got 12 brand new muslin squares for £4, very pleased! Sale was like a rugby scrum though, couldn't believe how many people there were there. Needed two pieces of cake and tea for medicinal purposes afterwards

ickle we have a Tommee Tippee sangenic nappy bin and we wouldn't be without it! Yes, the cartridges seem pricey (especially at the start when you are changing nappies v often) but it is a truly simple but brilliant bit of kit. We lived in a flat when DS was born so couldn't just chuck the dirty nappies in a bin outside the back door as other friends did. But even now we're in the house it's still v useful.

So we had a lovely drive from west to east London this morning to come and spend the day with family. Went for a walk at the Olympic park this afternoon and got drenched-i mean totally soaked through :( thankfully DS dry and warm in his pushchair but me and DH soooo wet-really hoping neither of us caught a chill as really don't need to get ill again!!

Hope everyone having a good day.

Thanks for the clothing advise! I think I'm going to constantly worry that she's too hot or cold!

Me and DH finished sorting the nursery today. We've put up a wall sticker of a tree with the leaves blowing off to the side. I love it, and means we've made it look nice without having to redecorate

Oh, and I got a nappy bin from amazon. It was only 20 something pounds I think and includes 6 cartridges so thought it was worth a go!

NCT this morning suggested babies need an extra layer to you - so if you have on a T shirt, baby might need a babygro and a t shirt. She also suggested the way to check if baby was warm or not was to touch the chest rather than the head.

DH is honestly enjoying the sessions and the other people we've met - glad we went!

Right nappy bin is on the get list.

Dragged dh to asda yesterday and picked up lots of baby bits- basic vests/sleep suits/muslins/bibs/ nappies/ maternity pads/ breast pads! Was pleasantly surprised at final total and feel much more prepared now. Although bought in new born and after morning spent with friends 2 week old baby who is already in 0-3 may need to cross fingers for a little baby...please!!!

Been watching baby bouncers on ebay/checking gumtree - one we liked came up for £10 but in blue- we don't know sex but I wouldn't mind girl being in blue bouncer it's as new and local for £10! Dh would rather spend £35 on neutral one (admittedly new is £69 so still bargain!) But still so frustrated at dh.

Only 25 days at work to go although keep thinking want to go week earlier... need to make my mind up and stop thinking what if! This pregnancy has been such hard work

Anyone got nice plans for Sunday?

Oh the horror!!! Just caught sight of my posterior in the bathroom mirror - what the hell has happened to it? . I suppose if I can expect boobs and belly to go the same way I better get used to it.

ickle keep the receipts for newborn stuff so you can exchange it if need be. My friends baby never fit into the newborn stuff even though he wasn't particularly big!

No nice plans today - just sitting around while dp does house stuff

Ickle I bought this bouncer from Asda as was half price (or maybe £12) at the time, I don't love it but it looks better in the flesh and I preferred neutral if possible too, all the rest seemed to be pink or blue:
direct.asda.com/Red-Kite-Snuggie-Bounce/002689731,default,pd.html

Plate, I suddenly feel massive and like I've put on weight on my bum and face within the last two weeks. Up until about 30 weeks I was really just bump and happy with that.

Now I'm panicking about how I'm going to shift the weight afterwards - we are off to a wedding six weeks after due date so potentially only four weeks after baby, I'm already dreading what I'm going to wear (really vain I know).

Well yesterday's day trip has properly wiped me out, plus DH getting uncontrollable giggles in his sleep/dream at 4am and waking me up didn't help! Then this morning DS bit sick on the sofa-cue mega retching from me at the smell and then also being sick :( DH taken him out for some fresh air and all my plans of getting stuff done seem to be evaporating as I just want to sleep!!

Re bouncer chairs we got a neutral coloured Baby Bjorn one from eBay before DS born and I would highly recommend it as it has v good bounce properties, must be comfortable as DS often napped in it and the cover is fully removable to wash and reversible too plus they have great resale value so ours will be going back on eBay once we're done with it

I also feel as though a sudden growth spurt has occurred and not just to bump but boobs, hips, bottom and face too :( was feeling quite happy with weight gain but not so sure now. And not helped by my sudden pechant for iced buns and cakes

zing hope you're ok and time with DH away passes uneventfully!

I'm not sure my boobs have got much bigger to be honest - my legs, bum and belly have though :(

Also got increased sugar cravings blue

Anyone have any experience of these?

Yep auntie only going to open one pack sleep suits and one pack of vests to wash- less than £5 in total- rest stay in packs incase need to exchange size!

auntie we didn't get on too well with that sort of seat as DS kept trying to pull himself out and made himself sick as a result :( but I know friends who've found them excellent. Poss worth holding off buying one and seeing if you could 'test' baby in one at a friends house before buying. Thankfully we had borrowed ours so just gave it back. What we did find excellent though was this playnest there's loads second hand on eBay and the cover is machine washable.

I'm panicking now as the baby hasn't moved since morning. I've tried ice cold drinks, loud music, lying down on my left, jumping around, poking it....but nothing!
any advice???
I've phoned the ward and they have asked me to come in at 4:30