July 2014 - Here comes the 3rd trimester, hold on to your knickers! Thread 6

[ZingWatermelon]

hope you like the title!

hannah

I often wonder about what it would be like if men gave birth.

one thing I'm sure of: there would be endless amount of data and analysis and statistics and instant replay footage!

ismarah Everything I've been told is that you can still be active in labour in the consultant/obs unit unless you have an epidural... Certainly mw and physio have talked about active labour positions for me... and even.if you have an epidural you can be on your side but might need someone to hold your leg I've been looking at what I can do if I have an epidural as giving birth on your back/the way you see on tv most commonly is really bad if you have pelvic back issues!

hannah I know what you mean - men would just be asking for whatever gets it done quickest and less painful! I've got friends who have had both EMCS and ELCS and the ones who had the EMCS only seem to regret not having it earlier as ELCS is more controlled and calmer and easier to recover from. My SIL also had the bonus of finding out that her insides were in such a state that if she got pregnant again it would be life threatening which may not have been picked up otherwise!

congrats on the exchange zing

Hope everyone slept better last night??

I'm panicking as the building work is nowhere near finishing, which means DH is using the nursery as his office and that may be the case till September!! he ho...
trying to finish my essay soon-ish so I can start buying things for the bABY yyaaayyy

•zing•
Well I didn't have any pain relief at all, as midwives thought it would take far longer than it did. So when I complained of pain they told me it would get worse so to hold out for pain relief. Then it happened... so I didn't even have paracetamol. Whilst it was incredibly painful (worse pain of life and I have had a fair few sporting injuries), it was certainly tolerable. So I'm reassuring myself that at least I know what to expect for the first bit of labour at least.

If men gave birth we would never hear the end of it, they'd probably expect some sort of hero worship, whilst we just quietly get on with it! I also think ELCS would just be the norm!

hannah

again, so sorry you had to go through it.
yes, I thought you are probably tring to reassure yourself.
in fact I think even if you had the same amount of physical pain when having this baby the fact that you are not going to be dealing with the emotional side of a loss will make it more bearable IYSWIM.

And when not induced pain levels are way lower anyway.

gals, I am feeling very peaceful today.
yesterday we had a Pink Day to remember our little girl, who would have just turned 5 (MC at 12 weeks) - which made me quite emotional.

today I just feel happy. it's a lovely sunny day and because we can finally start planning what we'll do in new house and get organised for move I feel really hopeful and positive.

Talking of birth....is no one else looking into getting a doula or independent midwife? Sooooo worth their weight in gold

What's an independent MW? what would you "use" them for?

You are right, it was pain with no good outcome... at least this time (everything crossed) the pain will result in me having a baby boy :)

Glad you're feeling at peace and content, it's a difficult thing to deal with, I found a lot of people just didn't understand.

I'm jealous of your sun, I'm in Northern Scotland, just rain rain rain today (although moving South back to England next weekend, yyaaaayyy!!)

Regarding the doula/midwife... isn't that what the actual midwife is there for? To help us? It is my understanding they are experienced professionals and able to provide the services I'll need? Ins't it almost rude to get someone else in on the equation?

I think I know what a doula is for, but no idea what an independent MW does.

I won't have either anyway.
I just want DH. I can't have a homebirth or waterbirth or anything like that.
predictably it's either "high risk" ward attempting another VBAC where they will watch me like a hawk anyway or ELSC when I'm 42 weeks.

As far as I am aware the independent MWs are not insured and regulated ?? I guess the advantage would be that you get the chance to know her before D day. I think I will shout and scream my concerns on the day anyway

Independent midwives are not insured but are regulated. You would normally have them instead of an NHS team, say if you wanted to guarantee a home birth and be sure of who would be with you on the day. Douglas are not regulated and are not legally allowed to deliver babies ( I used to work in healthcare regulation!)

Doulas are not regulated! No idea who would want to regulate Douglases!

Hello I'm due 16 July, how do I join please?!

And where do you get the 1/3 off boots vouchers for the pump? Ta

Ah, just realised this thread is at 19 pages and my pump question harks back to p1

ComeBabyCome - are you having a home birth? I can't see how an independent midwife or doula would fit into an NHS hospital/midwife led birth? Seems like a lot of people in the room?

So we went to John Lewis and confused ourselves with buggies. I was pretty sold on the Phil and Teds Navigator v2 based on online reviews but wasn't keen in the flesh - it seemed a bit of a faff, heavy and not parent facing (though you can buy an extra seat for parent facing but that didn't look that comfy.

The Bugaboo Buffalo was fabulous but I can't justify it at nearly £900 without a car seat.

The Baby Jogger City something (handbag too far away to bother retrieving my notes as to which it was, sorry!) really impressed and is on our short list.

The last one in the running (and the favourite after today) was the Uppababy Vista. It's perhaps a bit of a compromise in terms of all terrain Vs the others but seemed to be the best, for our needs, all round. You seem to get a lot all in for just over £600 too.

Be interested in your thoughts on these if you've used/bought/are thinking of buying any of them.

As well as an hour in JL we also were at least an hour in IKEA and then this afternoon spent three hrs building a chest of drawers - mainly because we continually did it wrong. So worn out now!

MrsA we went with the buffalo, but we struggled to justify the cost, the only reason we went for it was luckily both my parents and dh's gave us some money for it. It was the only one we looked at that I thought would be DH proof (he tends to break stuff a lot) and would make it across the rugby pitch every week without the wheels coming off. We also managed to save some money by buying nursery furniture from my cousin. The uppababy vista was next on our list. Hope everyone is good, haven't had chance to catch up with the thread.

Thanks Becky. The buffalo really does look great, so well engineered.

I'm really hoping not to buy a double. Dd still likes to sit in the buggy but we are going to get a sling and a seated buggy board and that should be enough.
She used to be little Miss independent but now prefers to be lazy!
I just have to find all the bits of the travel system in the garage. We have the M&Ps Zoom which was a total bargain at £300, including carrycot, seat that can face either way, adapters for car seat and rain cover, and I never had any problems and walked a lot.
We switched to a smaller stroller when dd was about a year old.
I need to figure out which sling to buy so much choice and a couple of friends had problems that their DCs didn't like being in them. At the moment I'm thinking of a Hana wrap or an Ergo carrier with the newborn insert. I can't decide if I will maybe need both over time.
There aren't any sling libraries round here either to try them out.
I also need to get a new mattress for the cot despite dh's complaint that the last mattress cost a fortune. This baby needs a new one - free from dd1's body fluids and germs!

I got a repeat boots letter with the codes for online discounts if anyone wants them. all valid to 31st july.
£25 off a £100 or more single transaction on pushchairs or car seats
PC13PUSH25 (we got our maxi cosi pebble here).
1/3 off any avent pump or 4 pack of 260ml bottles PC13PAV
20% off mini club kids clothes PC13MINI20
50% off maternity tights PC13BMT
50p off boots brand nappies PC13BN

If we'd bought new, Uppababy Vista was at the top of my list, MrsA2

Have been busy baking flapjacks and chocolate fridge cake for friends who have just had baby, plus have bought Brie and pâté for mum ( ). Little toy and a swaddle blanket for new baby and a peppa pig sticker book for big brother. Hoping we can sneak a quick visit tomorrow

Good evening!

Nothing much to say tonight - I'm not in the mood to talk about lack of birth options at the moment!

Baby seems to be spinning around still. Yesterday I had low down hiccups and at the moment they are high up!

plate whats a fridge cake? can we see a pic?

MrsA We chose the babyjogger city elite. I found it for about £330 for last years version. We dog walk, don't use public travel very much and it was very sturdy. The handle was also very adjustable and it's got a one handed fold. It isn't light and it takes up quite a lot of boot space but it will hopefully work for us till bean is 3-4 maybe.

Thanks for the codes - the car seat is one of the things we want to buy new so that's really handy.

Foxtrot Sing it, sister. Sigh.

Welcome new ladies

ismarah I thought our baby jogger summit would last until DS was 3 - little did I know that he would totally refuse to sit in it and insist on walking from around his 2nd birthday. I am amazed at how far he will walk now!

Just had a 4 day weekend. Mustn't forget to go to work tomorrow! DH and DS will be at home with DPILs.

hi Jasmine and welcome

you posted so you have joined.
you are one of us now