Due in September 2006......nearly there ladies!!

[Coriander73]

New thread...

Cori x

Well, still spotting a tiny bit every 3rd time I use the bathroom but waiting until Monday to ask again about it, as baby is moving fine and I'm not feeling cramping whatsoever. DH detained in the air over stormy weather and didn't make it in until 9 pm last night, so by that time bleeding had subsided & talked him out of going to hospital since baby's been active and I'm not feeling anything "different."

Ezridax - LOL; they don't publish those in US magazines (along with pics of bare breasts, etc.). Thankfully. I'm with you; definitely wouldn't feel need to see that!!

Glad your mw said to start raspberry leaf tea at 37 weeks b/c thought it'd be too late for me to try it ... now I'm wanting to start supplementing with it right away, but DH has talked me into asking Dr. first , DH being the more cautious of the two of us.

Cori re: cramps, DH was a personal trainer at a gym (paid for college that way); says cramps may be caused by lack of potassium or dehydration (therefore the bananas & salt!), and also that stretching should help. He knows how intense they can be so has been very sympathetic to mine; dealt with his own during 1st marathon. I think they're as painful as any of my contractions were with DS1.

Liquid thanks for the raspberry leaf tea links - think I;ll start this week, I'll be 36 weeks next thurs.
Pol - Good for you - I honestly wonder why some women choose midwifery as a profession when they have such awful attitudes. I wish I'd got the courage to speak up to my miwife, although she's not been anything like yours - just incompetant and disinterested. Fortunately I chose a different hospital to the one she works at so there's no danger of her actually delivering the baby.
I have to say I was a bit slack with the perineal massage last time and did end up being cut, the thought of it happening again terrifies me as I got an infection that took weeks to clear up, it was just a nightmare! So I really need to start that with a vengeance.
I have been getting shooting pains in both sides of my groin - anyone else got this? It stops me in my tracks when I get it.

Marls - hope evreything is ok with the spotting?
I am sure if the babies moving ok and your not getting any cramps all will be fine.

Ezridax, my wheat germ oil is called 'Vitamin E pure wheat germ oil'. It's from Body Shop and is sold in a small, pink bottle. You must make sure you get the little pink bottle of oil rather than the larger tub of cream with the same name (minus oil bit) as apparently it doesn't do the trick.

Marls, I was watching an American birth programme the other day and the woman had a mw holding a mirror down there so she could see what was going on. I can't think of anything that would make me less want to push than seeing what it was doing to me. Is this common in the US?
Also, can I ask another question? Every time I see a vaginal birth on an American programme, there seems to be lots of medical intervention. The women always seem to be on their backs with the OB seeming to physically assist in the birth either using forceps or pulling whilst she pushes. Is this standard? Or do they just film the dramatic ones. I'm always curious about these sorts of things. Recently, a Danish friend was telling me how in Denmark and Holland (she lived there too) home births are by far the norm and it is rare to have any other pain relief other than gas&air. She also said that midwives devote lots of time to mums to be in the third trimester and for the first couple of weeks after the birth are there everyday giving all sorts of assistance.
It just facinates me that different western counties, on a relative par when it comes to medical knowledge and facilities, seems to follow different paths/guidelines when it comes to childbirth. I'm sure there are pros and cons with all approaches although I'm not sure G&A would be enough for most first time mums!

Sorry for long, rambling post, I'm always obsessed by childbirth when pregnant and watch/listen to too much detail.

Oh and if you're still spotting in a couple of days, I'd get it checked out just in case although as you have no other symptoms I'm sure all is well.
When is your DD? It couldn't be the start of your show, could it?

Hi everyone, hope you're all ok. It's taken me hours (I'm at work too) to catch up on all of the msg's from the last week, so it's going to be a long one I'm afraid.

Hellkat, glad you and your little girl are doing well.

Lexy B, congrats on your little girl. I love the names, especially Unity, beautiful.

Clairemow, my consultant said similar things to yours about going for section if I'm failing to progress early on to prevent the risk of an emergency again. She also said that they are liable for any complications as I've had a past section which is why they are so cautious. As for induction, they said they could use the pessary but not the drip if I go overdue, but I think if I reach that point I'm going to go for an elective.

Marls, I hope the bleeding has stopped and you and you and lo are ok. The labour ward in my hospital doesn't even have doors, let alone closing them for a bit of privacy! I remember looking around the ward and being horrified, but it's the best in our area so I didn't get much choice. Also, dh was only allowed to visit between 1pm and 8pm, so I felt very alone on my 5 day stay.

Compo, Ds is nearly 21/2 and is not ready at all for potty training.I'm just ignoring elderly relatives who are having a go all the time about it. If I take his nappy off he just holds it for hours, no accidents at all, until he gets a nappy back on. I figure he has the control but not the maturity.

Pol, well done for telling your midwife the truth. I put up with crap from mine all the time cause I don't have the guts to complain.

Cori, I heard calcium helps with cramp as well as potassium so I'm having milk and a bananna every day to try and stop it from happening.

Dh has gone away for 10 days to Cornwall with the Army Cadets. Am missing him like hell and knowing that he is over 9 hours away is making me very anxious. We have a date for completeing (at last). Monday the 14th of Aug and we are going to move in the following weekend I hope. Don't feel like I can even think about having a baby till I have my nest.

Whilst we're moaning about our dh's, he spent £1000 on a laptop without telling me, we don't have anywhere for our lo to sleep yet, but we have the latest in computer technology.

I have one hour and 33 mins left at work

Look after those lo's x

Re: bleeding, at this stage not worried, just waiting for Monday (that's next appt.) to find out more. DS2 still moving as dramatically and as often. Due date is Sept. 7th - so I think it's way too early. Main concern is high blood pressure, as I was on "house arrest" with it last time. Now, with DS1 to care for, don't know how I'd be able to manage "house arrest." Will keep y'all up-to-date; thanks for good wishes.

Homemama: Re: mirror, no - definitely not! I agree; don't really ever want to see that! As a matter of fact can't even bring myself to do perineal massage at all ... safe to say the average woman in US is more squeamish about "down there"
than her average European counterpart.

Calvemjoe - speaking of which; you're saying you had to go through active labor in a nearly public space?? I think I might opt for a homebirth in that situation ... DS (now 3) also simply not interested in potty training .. he just says "someday." Congrats on completing work! Now you can put those swollen ankles up during the day.

--

Birth experiences vary widely in US - whether one's family is insured by an employer (can go to choice of private and public hospitals, search for best facilities, more choice in doctors, upgrade to private rooms, pay co-pay for extra sonograms, etc.) or has no insurance (public hospitals only, more hurried staff, no private rooms) ... whether you live in a city (more choices) or rural area (not as much cutting-edge technology) ... Our cost of birth of DS1 at one of the best hospitals in the Houston Medical Center was 1000 pounds which included upgrades of both labor room (included jacuzzi tub) and recovery room (was private), and 3 nights' stay. Full price (without insurance) would have been 5000+ pounds. ... thanks to Aetna we were lucky to have the choice of where and with whom we delivered. However, most OB/GYNs in any US hospital will follow the woman's wishes, whatever those might be - they will provide a great variety of experiences. But most women want epidurals. 80% of my friends and aquaintances who've given birth have done so with an epidural. They don't want to have to deal with the pain, when they know that, with that needle's insertion, they won't have to. That's why the women have to be on their backs, and might be why forceps end up needed. I like my autonomy and not to be paralyzed, but everyone needs to make their birth experience their own and feel good about it later, so I understand why everyone else around me wants an epidural if they can get it in in time. They, however, think I'm crazy. Or Superwoman. They see an epidural as their right and would think it "backward" if they weren't allowed one.
The OB will always (epidural or not) assist with birth, perhaps massaging the perineum but always then physically helping the mother by pulling the baby's head once it is fully emerged (OBs are trained to do this - I think, if it makes it go faster, then great - but wouldn't want forceps, only hands). There is usually the doctor and at least one nurse through the pushing stage, and a doula in addition if one has been hired.
Ideally, since this is my second, I would do a water birth at home, but the nearest mw covered by my insurance is 3 hours away! Most in US wouldn't opt for a home birth because it is too messy and there's always that risk that then you'd have to jump in the car for the hospital anyway, with an emergency situation. The second best thing will be what we do have - a private hospital with private rooms, and a doctor who doesn't practice "rotating call" but will actually be the one who delivers me since he's the one I'm seeing through pg. I'll be able to be up and about during labor, but will need to be in a semi-reclined position on the bed for the final stage of pushing, unless I can convince them at the time that I'm more comfortable in some other position that will be safe for the baby to emerge. If the first delivery goes without real problems, the medical staff are much more lenient with subsequent ones. I hope all of the above answers what you wanted to know; sorry to everyone so long!!

Thanks for the clarification, Marls. I wasn't being critical just curious about the different practices.

I think your friends are right in that an epidural should be available to them if that's what they want. It's not for me as I really liked being mobile last time and standing up/leaning over the bed to push but if it's what a woman wants then she should have it.

It's interesting about the physical intervention from the OB/GYN. In Britain, with a straightforward vaginal birth, it's very much a case of hands off and minimal intervention unless baby or mother needs the help. MWs here tend to encourage you to slow down when pushing and pant instead to help encourage stretching and avoid tearing (easier said than done )

I wonder if the higher rate of epidurals and therefore more lying on your back + the hands on approach leads to quicker, less painful labours but more tears/episiotomies and therefore more need for stiches.

Oh well, swings and roundabouts I suppose.Thanks for taking the time to discuss. Very interesting.

Hope everyone else is well!

As you prob know I think I want an epidural again, even tho it wasn't effective last time. It did take the edge off but it still hurt... But it's choice and makes you feel in control even when you're not at all!!! I had a epidural and didn't need to be cut, I had a small tear and a tiny graze which didn't meed to be stiched or anything and had healed almost straight away. The epidural didn't really slow my birth either as was in the delivery suite 5.5hours with only 30 mins of pushing, so what my mw told me is nonsense- It certainly didn't slow me down!!! But then I do think it is different for each woman but I didn't mind being in bed with it... Walking around actually made me more sore, but again it's personal choice.

It's hot here again... And that is making me feel miserable, that I might have to deal with the 'super-heat' we had a few weeks ago.

I'm also finding sleeping impossible, unless i'm on the sofa and usually mid-afternoon and bubba bump is so huge, my hips seem to hurt constantly and I have to turn over every hour -which as you all know is a job in itself! And my 'what-not'/spd pain is getting worse by the day. I can honestly say this time round I cannot wait until he's out!!!

But on the up side we went for a chinese buffet lunch and i've stuffed myself on yummy yummy treats!

Also we have decided that renting is crippling us, even tho DP has a new job and new salary we still aren't able to save really, well unless we have absolutely nothing and house prices here are SO expensive. We have found a part buy and part rent scheme with a house in a nice area, nice school and seemingly affordable. We just are chucking good money away at the mo as our rent is £850 pcm. Getting him to call tomorrow first thing to see it and hopefully, fingers crossed (!) It is only two bed but we just really need to do something and we had DD in with us until she was 9months anyhow... we could do it again.

Sorry to ramble on (as usual)

Hope everyone's ok and doing well, despite it getting hotter!

Pol - good luck with the potential move; sounds like the right decision. I have heard that most of the UK's housing is more expensive than Manhattan's!

Homemama, definitely didn't take you as critical! ALWAYS happy to explain whatever.

Although individual circumstances differ, I've been told that epidurals might contribute to increased C-section rates in US, since they tend to slow labor down a bit (according to my first OB/GYN in Houston). Pol - it's very good you have the choice. You're either one of the lucky ones or they're all lying to us ... At any rate, true or not that's one of the reasons I gave my incredulous friends for me. If my 48-hour labor had been any slower, I would've been cut open, given how careful Dr.s are with first births. As it was, needed 8 hours of pitocin to reach 9.5 cm. She (Dr.) was very patient and lenient granting my wishes for vaginal birth - many US Dr.s would've become too nervous after so long.

Maybe I'll ask to be standing up/leaning over bed this time for pushing - last time couldn't physically do that, after so long, had no energy left to stand up. Thankfully only pushed for 30 minutes. Did tear a bit.

Makes sense that the hands-on approach might lead to more tears; I do know forceps are bad and should be avoided ... and no doctors are doing episiotomies anymore!!

--

Here's an old Ozarks rain dance of a sermon for y'all...

"Oh Lord, send us fence-lifters an' gully-washers an' goose-drowders! The crops is too far gone, Lord, an' no use tryin' to save 'em, but we need rain for our souls' sake. It's the little children I'm thinking of, Lord. I've saw rain, myself."

Hope the weather cools off for you soon. Heat has come back here.

Pol - definitely jump in when it comes to buying - even part buying is financially a better long term thing than not buying at all - at least SOME of the money you'll see back! Don't worry about it only being 2 beds too - me and my brother shared until we were 5 and 6 respectively, plenty of time!

I also don't think my epi slowed labour either - in total it was just under 7 hrs and I had about 20 mins of pushing (though the consultant had threatened to 'assist' so there was a bit of urgency) - the midwife didnt check me for 4 hrs, assuming I think that it was my 1st labour and would be slow. By the time she did check I'd lost my cervix completely and she didn't know how long I'd been like that - hence the 'get him out quick' thing. I did tear and it did take ages to heal but I'd rather have that than have a forceps delivery - too many horror stories around. Will def be having epi again, loved it - was like being in a waiting room rather than having a baby!!

Never let me complain about DH again! (well, not for a bit) He's just washed the lounge carpet, fixed the hoover, made lunch, done washing and washing up and now has taken DS out to supermarket, promising to do hall carpet on return! I think he got up this morning and decided to be super-daddy!

hi all,

Marls, if the spotting hasn't stopped, I would go and check it out - it might be a sign things are starting to move...!

Homemama, I can't think of anything worse than a mirror either - my SIL was offered one at the birth of her first DD, and just responded at really loud pitch "no, just get the f*ing baby out would you?!" I wouldn't want to see how stretched it must all look (enough already).

Pol, your plan sounds great - part buy part rent is a really good way to get your feet on the ladder, and hopefully you'd be able to move on up much sooner than if you remain in rented.

It's been really hot again today, took DS to the swimming pool which was lovely. Went to John Lewis this pm and got feeding bras - 34F - good God!!!

Well, the news is we have cooler weather on the way- but after a humid night tonight...

Why, oh why hasn't my DP been quiet so helpful today??? Instead he has been glued to the comp and messing around doing nothing while i've been running around after DD- feeling pooped now!

Really looking forward to the cooler weather, it's all I can think about!

p.s. Talking about mirror thing... my mw wasn't quiet so 'full-on' with DD although after i'd pushed her head out on my first push she said 'oh, there's his head (she swore DD was a boy!) do you want to touch him?' To which I said quiet calmly but a little insane 'no, just get IT out'

Pol,just wanted to say that I, too think you are doing the right thing. Rental prices in this country are shocking. We haven't sold our last house and are renting it out as an investment. Our mortgage on it is £750pcm and we're renting it out for £890pcm.
It's a silly situation as our tenants are paying all that money which pays our mortgage and more yet they couldn't get a mortgage high enough to buy next door's when it was for sale even though the repayments would be less of an outgoing than their current rent!

Yes Marls, UK house prices can be ridiculous. This is especially true of London/South East although areas of S Manchester/North Cheshire and parts of Edinburgh are equally as expensive. Mind you, I think that Americans would be more likely to faint with shock at the price we pay for petrol! @ 96p a litre (not sure how to convert to gallons)

Liquid, glad your DH has given you an easy day!

Clairemow, lol at your SIL! Oh and if it makes you feel better my latest bra is a size 38F! I wouldn't mind if they were pert and sexy but they just flop over my enormous bump which DH now calls table mountain as he can rest his beer on it. It all looks silly on my size10-12 frame. Oh and I've had a stretchmark appear overnight! I suppose it was too good to be true that I'd get through two pregnancies without battle scars.

My midwife actually grabbed my hand and MADE me touch DS's head just as he came out! Eughh!

Maybe that's another thing to go on my birth plan...

Marls, DH just said it works out about £4.30-£4.50 a gallon! Not sure what the dollar/pound exchange rate is but I'm sure you can work it out!

I think the exchange rate is about half our £...

That is so true tho, we couldn't get a mortgage with repayments of £850. It is a complete joke really. And all around here is flats, which I deem impossible if you have kids and still want some sort of life. Or we move to some place really grotty with a crabby school etc...And even those places are expensive!!!

To make you all feel happier my bra is now a 42f... yes feeling like i'm hauling around two huge melons, which also flop over my bump. But I will miss my bump, as it's a good resting place for cool drinks, small plates of food etc...

Marls - out of interest (sorry for lack of relevance to an ante-natal thread) - how far would $306,000 go in your local housing market? (£160,000ish) as that's the average house price for a 3 bed semi where I live.

Keep looking at emigrating to NZ - so tempting!

How I wish a three bed semi was that price here!!! Fingers crossed... that tomorrow house prices here drop to that and then we can afford somewhere!

Liquid, my Dr. asled if I wanted to touch DS1's head too! No way, no way. Just get on with it. I agree - a good thing to add to the birth plan. LOL about missing your bump!!

Had a dream last night that I was slim in very flattering outfit, & DH & I were headed out for a nice dinner and dancing ... then woke up & walked by the bathroom mirror ... huge in one of DH's old large T-shirts & hair sticking straight up ... sigh.

Homemama, about 1.5 pounds per gallon here, and people do think it's high! Housing prices here are higher than in Houston's suburbs but lower than many parts of the US: 4 bed/4 bath/1200 sq meter house, 262,000 pounds. In Houston suburbs, 209,450 pounds. In a nice area in city of Houston, 418,900 pounds. In cities outside of NYC, 628,340 pounds. In California, more than that. Don't know how people can raise children comfortably in NYC.

Liquid - As below, depends greatly on where you'd look in the US, but in one of the nicer, safe, convenient areas in the middle of the city of Houston, $325,000 buys a 2-to-3-bedroom, 1-to-2-bath stand alone house. That's from search.har.com/cs_singlefamily.htm. More of course in the "grotty" areas, but those aren't worth any expense for safety reasons.

HI all!

Hope everyone had a good weekend?
we took DS to centreparcs yesterday as it's on;y up the road, he had a great time and was swimming all by himself with his arm bands on, his legs going like windmills - bless! It was lovely to be able to swim and feel weightless though as when I take DS on my own to the local pool I seem to spend most of the time wading around in knee deep water!
Agree with the mirror thing - yuck! I've seen them added on to lists for labour bags and I thought maybe it was me being odd that I didn't want to see - obviously not!
I have come down with an itchy bumpy rash on my feet! DH says it's athletes foot - I thought you had to wear sweaty shoes to get that? I've worn nothing but flip flops for the last 3 months!
Pol - good luck with your house hunting, if you decide to go ahead. You are definately better off on the property ladder.

oh I would also like to join the 'jordanesque F cup club' had to take my 36 E feeding bra back to M&S and have swapped it for 36 F - seems to fit alright - ish. personally I think the cups have shrunk

That sounds lovely Mabel - can't wait to get my DS doing that - at the moment he just seems to flop face first into the water!

About your rash - you might have picked it up in the swimming changing rooms pretty easily - get yourself an antifungal spray/cream as that'll clear it up if it is athlete's foot. If it doesn't clear up quickly though or if your hands (other parts of body) start itching then call your m/w to get your liver enzymes checked.

Feeling very sad about the red box at the bottom of the page, it's a shame that famous people don't take the 'any publicity is good publicity' saying a bit more seriously. Hope MN will be ok, would be awful if it had to shut down because it couldn't afford to fight a court battle.

Thanks for the infor on housing prices Marls, interesting to know what it's like elsewhere. Pol - ever considered moving north then? DH and I did think about moving to Kent to be nearer family but each time we look it would just involve too much lifestyle sacrifice. And at least up here we have enough water!