June 2014: New Year, new trimester, new thread! June bugs no 7!!

[hackneybird]

Ding dong!

God, there is so much choice - can be a bit daunting when you don't know what you actually need and what is just nice to look at! MIL was going to give us the swing crib (like the Mothercare one I think) that DH and his sis used, and sis now has for her baby, but not much point for us now unless one baby likes being rocked and one doesn't. In terms of cots though, a lovely friend has offered us a cotbed that her DS has just grown out of, so we'll get a new mattress and use that. Obviously will need a second at some point but hoping they'll go into one cot for a while.

Buggies are one thing we have been looking at for a while - is difficult to get doubles where both seats are suitable from birth (pretty much rules out tandems) but aren't enormous. Also want parent-facing option and to spend as little as possible as budgeting now for not going back to work - a lot of criteria I know but have come close with the Obaby Zezu. The carrycots mean we can have them in those in the house too. Had a little play in the shop at the weekend and it is the size of a tank but will just about go through our (thankfully Victorian sized) front door; whether it will get in the car boot or not is another matter but may well not need to as definitely getting a Weego twin carrier, and possibly just the carrier and not a buggy to start with. Have seen both come up on ebay quite a bit so just watching while seeing if there's anything else that suits better. Who knew this would be such a minefield?!

I used a moses basket until they outgrew at about 4 months. Handy as you can carry downstairs for sleeps during the day. We had a rocking stand for it which also locks so if your baby likes a bit of jiggling to help them sleep you can do that. Then into a cot after that. I wouldn't waste money on a crib - they are exensive and quickly outgrown. I wouldn't spend loads on a moses basket either - plenty around in sales or second hand - fine with a new mattress.

I did co-sleep with the first as well out of necessity - he hated the basket and the cot, or anywhere else but on me. It was that or no sleep for two years. The second loved it in the basket though and was mostly a good sleeper. Will all depend on your baby!

Bumble and Sareva re. anti-D - thankfully don't need them as am +ve but both my bro and I had to be induced early and and had full blood transfusions as both had haemolytic disease of the newborn - not sure if they used anti-D back then anyway but would have been too late as my mum had MC first so the reaction had already started and gets worse with each baby- eldest bro managed to get away with it. Anyway, we were both fine (in SCBU for a while with jaundice but that's all) and I'm not really sure what my point is here as you're obviously going to do what's best for your baby, but just to say it's well worth it and less worrying for you in the long run

Marlena, thanks!!

Am I the only one panicking re all the stuff you're supposed to get for a newborn..? Topics like this freak me out! :)

Eg do we need a baby bath? I thought normal bath will suffice as our bathroom is tiny but everyone's saying noo you cannot bath a newborn in a bathtub... What do I know..

We had a bedside crib - i.e. a crib that has one side you can dropdown so it attaches to the bed. It turned out to be a good option for us as DS wanted to be held all the time, so we co-slept a lot at the beginning and he seemed relatively happy in the bedside crib after a while and it was easy to soothe him if he stirred by reaching my hand out to him.

The downside is that I didn't then have anything to put him in downstairs so we will probably look out for a moses basket for downstairs this time round.

I'm panicking too! We've not got much space.

You can put a newborn in the bath if you get one of those little bath seats. Although I might get a baby bath to put on the table and so save my back from all the bending.

Or just bath them in the kitchen sink like mum used to with me :)

We did use a baby bath, but plenty of people don't. I don't remember really bathing newborn DS much! This it was quick dunk and splash and I think some people just do it in the sink if it's big enough? You could always see how you get on without and get one if you need it?

One thing I would definitely say is if you are getting a breast pump don't bother getting a manual one! If you are going to do it, go the extra and get an electric one!

Ok, electric breast pump goes on the list... #hyperventilating#

Any other boob related buys?

Think I might get a bath seat, but definitely not a bath - it was so under utilised, that and the nappy sanitiser bin thingy!!!!

Riblet I know you are having twins, but are you a twin?

I am so upset - I had an assessment appointment 3 weeks ago where I was diagnosed with psychological trauma & was told to expect letter confirming 1st treatment appt to begin therapy within a month.

I've just received a letter saying I am on waiting list for phone assessment appointment & have been sent the same forms and questionnaires to fill in that I did previously.

Have just rung (a non free phone number) been on hold 15 minutes & then told oh yes but I've now moved on to a new waiting list which also has a 1 month timescale & I've been on the new list 2 days.

I feel really pissed off & upset even though it's ridiculous & if they'd said 2 months at start I wouldn't have minded.

Sorry vent over :(

Riblet your mum was v lucky although I think awareness was from about 60s (not 100% on that). Before women had stillborn after stillborn not knowing why which must have been so awful. But if my husband is negative we have no chance of a positive baby so it's something I can just cross off and not worry about. Tbh we're unlikely to get round to finding out his blood type so I'll prob just suck it up & have the nasty injections

Ladygonegaga my dh thinks that the crib will be waste as we have 2 moses baskets. One that we got for ds and a nice lady at nursery gave us a gorgeous one before christmas. I just thought the crib looked lovely and with us already having moses basket, cot bed, car seat, pram, buggy, baby bath with foam seat and plastic seat I'm kinda running out of things we can buy!
Completely agree electric pump much better and less soul destroying than manual one

We have a rocking stand for the Moses basket and a double electric breast pump on the registry. We also have a baby bath on there, as we only have a shower in the new house and I wouldn't really want to wash baby in the kitchen sink. Anything else you ladies think necessary? Or unnecessary?

Bumblebee that's rubbish, can't they take the info from the first form and save some time, seems unfair that you have to go through it all again.

Sareva - no I'm not- my last post was a bit ambiguous, sorry - I meant my bro had haemolytic disease then when I came along a few years later I did too, but they knew in advance with both of us (probably why everything turned out as well as it did), it was just that once my mum had the antibodies that was it.

No twins in my family at all as far as I know (nor DHs although that doesn't have any bearing on likelihood of us having them) nor do we fit most of the 'risk factors,' for want of a better term, for having them, just lucky I suppose!

Clutter the form includes all sorts of stuff like have you had suicidal thoughts in last two weeks etc so apparently I have to complete the whole lot again now I'm on the 'new' waiting list. I was 3 weeks in to the last waiting list but apparently have been moved to a 'fast track' waiting list (anyone pregnant is fast tracked with any mental health issues) so now I'm starting again even though the slow track waiting list is currently operating at 1 month the same as the fast track. What a load of crap!!!

bumble am on your behalf! So much for bloody fast track?!

So ladies - have a tour of the maternity ward at the hospital tonight as still undecided as to whether I should go there or one of the other hospitals in my area. Any suggestions on things to ask, look for etc?

sleepy we had a bath seat. Made life much easier as wet newborns are bloody slippery! I know DD will enjoy bathing with the baby so won't bother with a bath again this time.

Essentials really are just nappies and clothes! Everything else is a nice to have. I bought so much stuff we never used because people told me they were essential. I had a pump but as DD slowly refused bottles I stopped expressing. I am hopeful my sil still has it. You can hire them too and the hire ones are SO much better. A friend went back to work at 4 months and exclusively bf her son for over a year but using a hired pump. I know my avent one was not up to that level of pumping! Changing mat was vaguely useful to stop leakage on sofas etc but we rarely used it as I generally changed DD quickly on my lap with new nappy under old! As I said we had Moses basket (given to us), crib (bought), swing (bought) and cotbed. DD only ever slept on me or in her pram for the first 6 months. Moses basket was used for storing night time nappies etc. Crib was used as Moses basket stand and cotbed eventually used from 5 or 6 months until age 3!

Sleepy you can totally bath newborns in the big bath. Don't even need a support. Either just put a couple of inches in the bottom, they don't need to be fully submerged and can just kick and splash. Or (even nicer) you get in with them. They love that as well!

Riblet my Mum went through similar - she had a stillborn though. Was in the 60's so no anti-D then. My brother was born very, very poorly as well, induced 5 weeks early. Scary. Bizzarely I was fine, despite being Rhesus pos. She had a 13 year gap between babies though so wonder whether the anti-bodies went away in that time.

Actually, I would love it if DH would get into the bath with the little one. I know he'd love that!

He's really worried that the newborn will only want me and my boobs and he'll end up sidelined and neglected by both of us.. I think this was his brother's experience and he found it really tough. So I want to involve DH as much as possible. Anyone else practiced daddy baths?

Definitely think cot beds are a good investment. We got a lovely one called The Rachel Cot Bed from John Lewis which ds went into after Moses Basket and he is still in it now (he was 4 in October).
Looking to just get bigger bed now intime to put cotbed back to just cot!

sorry Bumble that must be frustrating.

sorry Vicky - I would have cried too. Good you don't have to wait too long.

We're going for the uppababy vista too.
We've then decided on the glider crib from John Lewis. Cot won't fit in our room, and a cosleeper won't work as we have a ridge around the bed. We'll then use the uppababy newborn bassinet instead if a Moses basket for downstairs daytime naps.
Thinking of using the sink for baths! Looking at hiring tens machine and double electric pump from nct. I am tentatively thinking about exclusively pumping....but current mn threads are discouraging me. I need to do more research.

The talk of hospital visits has terrified me! Though it's good to get some realistic experience. I hate hospital and had got ny head around having to give birth there. However I though they typically kicked you out half a day later. I do not want to stay unless it is absolutely essential. I had a hospital visit in the summer. I was submitted through A&E. I arrived at 1pm but only moved onto the ward at 9am. I therefore missed lunch and dinner and hadn't been around to order any breakfast. I was told I would have an mrsi first thing then be discharged. I waited until about 3pm to be discharged, by which point I had worked myself into a complete state that they would forget about me and keep me another night. I was starving, lonely and miserable. By 3.30pm I was sobbing at my bedside. It was equally traumatizing and embarrassing! I eventually got discharged about 5pm. It was terrible. I had it in my mind I couldn't avoid hospital, but as long as I didn't end up needing an ecms, then I'd be able to go home fairly quickly. My irrational fear of hospitals is escalating as I write this message! No idea how I am going to prepare myself for this. I always joked I'd only ever go to hospital if I was unconscious or about to give birth. Can I change my mind?

About prams: We had a babystyle oyster and it broke in about 3 places, so I wouldn't recommend it for durability. I loved it when it was new though. We now have a phil and teds, and I love that :)

sleepy my Dh had a lot of baths with dd and it was great for both of them, luckily we had no poops :)
I used a manual pump a few times but dd had no interest in drinking from a bottle so I am quite glad I paid very little as it barely got used. We tried a cot from the start but dd only ever wanted to be held and fed to sleep. So we ended up co sleeping which I never wanted to do, but by 1 year she was in her cot most nights, that was such a battle! But hopefully this next one might like the cot, but I am tempted to buy a Moses basket :) but I will wait to see what this baby is like first.

My hospital experience was really good, I arrived at only 3 cm dilated and they let me stay. I had a water birth with gas and air which was what I wanted. Then they let me stay the night so they could help me bf, they showed me how to bath dd etc too. The staff were great.
Jaykay would you consider a home birth or would a bithing unit be better if there's one close?

jaykay would a home birth not suit you?

In terms of full time pumping - I know people who do but to keep supply up you have to pump pretty much 3 or 4 hourly... All the time. Night and day... My friend had a preemie who couldn't latch. She did it for 6 months but could never go out for more than 3 hours. Seemed a nightmare.