April 2014 Thread 4 - We're almost in Trimester 3!

[LeeHandy]

Here's to fantastic 20 week scans, feeling baby move and other exciting milestones and best of all, the end of sickness!

Blessed your mil sounds awful. Last thing you need when dealing with post birth crap. Definitely get your dh to ban her from house if she's going to upset you so intentionally.

Pretty, sounds like your plug could be coming away? How far are you again? I've had such discharge for weeks, but that's not unusual for me.

Watched one born this evening and cried at the poorly baby. Birth is a bit too close to be watching that programme i think! Feeling very uncomfortable with pelvic pain and heartburn this evening. But annoyingly I also know this is better than i felt being post birth with a hungry newborn. Just want it over with now I think.

38+5

Blessed your MiL clearly has massive issues. I hope your Dh will be making sure she is kept away from you until she can behave herself. If she carries on with this nickname crap she might have a shock in a few years time when little 'Boa' tells her himself that it's a God awful name.

ps. love the name Jonathan. Not too popular at all.

misty I'm 37+3

Hope this is the start of something for you pretty. Sorry I don't have any experience of this childbirth stuff to say whether it is a show or not.

Do you want me to out-tmi you? I've had similar all day. Got really excited thinking it was the start of something then remembered dh and I dtd a couple of days ago .

Sorry that's disgusting isn't it?

blessed your MIL is behaving very badly and I agree, you (or your DH) should ban her from the house. having a name you prefer for your grandchild is one thing but it's no one but the parent's decision and she should know better. Hope your DH continues to back you up all the way as he has been so far.

pretty I think show has to be yellow. if you want tmi, just Google images "show in pregnancy" and you can compare. that was the only way I could check if my show was a show.

Thanks trinpy & lee

Haha trinpy not disgusting but maybe a possible reason for me too as me and DP dtd yesterday morning

could you buy her a big fluffy feather boa and say: 'when you use that name, this is what I see'?

On the one hand you can, technically, use any nn you want, but her timing is insensitive, her tone is unacceptable and DH needs to have strong words with her. Him not you, because she cares about her relationship with her son whereas she clearly doesn't give a fuck about your feelings. Your complaints are ways pic a ducks back because she thinks 'so what if she hates me'. With her son she has someone to lose.

She needs to have it spelled out to her in words of one syllable that when it comes to her gc, you wield more power than she does (pit dh against you or her, he WILL choose you because he values his kids more than his mother. ) DH will have put up with this shit through his childhood, so he may need a lot of support and coaching. she'll be well practiced in the art of hands wringing abs squealing victim. Head over to the stately homes thread to see what I mean.

Doesn't she know that by insulting you she insults her DH.

blessed you def have the mil from hell. She sounds truly awful. Poor you!! Stay strong!

pretty with my first DC I my show was a clear snot like jelly which (TMI) you could stretch very far before breaking. It was very jelly like.

I had my show on Sunday and it was the same. No blood at all. Could def be your show! First time round I had my show a week before DS arrived xxx

Blessed there are just no words!

Wow blessed, words fail me! Fair play to you for not sugarcoating how you feel, she is unhinged and needs to be told!

Just had a 39 week growth scan, slept awful last night thinking about what they would say. Happy to report all ok. She is bang on average and weighs 7.7lbs they even said she has hair.
Just need her to pop out now! 39+4 today. Am going to go and mooch around the shops and window shop "normal" clothes.
Hope everyone else has a good day and some more littluns arrive soon!

Poor you Blessed - sounds vile vile vile in any situation, but when you have just given birth and are in pieces!!!!! Unbelievable.

Sounds like you and DH have a good system at least, and your kids were not exposed to her vileness more than necessary which is good.

She had two lovely sons who she could name anything she liked. If she missed the opportunity to name one of them Boa, too bad ... maybe she should get a cat.

Sending you and (oooh, and maybe a little bit of now or are you still avoiding??) - hope you have a gorgeous sunny MIL-free day to make up for yesterday.

Pretty - it might be the mucous plug coming out, let's hope so. We want more babies
Misty ¬you are brave watching OBEM at this stage but I get that sometimes one can't help themselves. I would watch it with one eye open another closed just in case someone really struggled then I would tell myself that that was the last time only to get back to it a few days later, we are gluttons for punishment
Trinpy please do tell. Is DTD gross? With your DH who obviously has the hots for you. You are a lucky wench to be even doing it at your stage. Dh was kicked out off the vaginal zone when the pink line appeared this pregnancy didn't fancy him whereas with DD we did the did when 10 days overdue
Learn_you just hit the nail on head there. If she had shown a little bit of understanding of what i was saying, trust me i would have just nodded and went about my business. That's how I have always been with her. But the fact she tells me that my feelings are shite when I have just given birth then act as if it was her son who deserves a medal for impregnating me is not on. Dh has just told her she has to do what I want. Fwiw DH and his mum have a very difficult relationship. She rubs everyone the wrong way but still blame others. There is of course the bigger issue. Dh is white and me the dreaded race, every mother in law nightmare. How dare I marry her PFB, couldn't i find a black man somewhere on the street. She will never forgive me for that, we are done.

I will check out the stately homes threads. Didn't realise they were about abusive relationships. Thanks ladies. This will be my last post concerning her. She is not worth all the pain. I have my own mum who is fantastic and loves with everything she's got. This one can sod off. Dh deserves he just said you do what she wants or you are on your own. I have a family to think about and take care of, you have nothing. Who will lose? He doesn't say much but when he does it's do or die..
Badfurday_could you be next? You are so close!! I know what you feel, just want the baby to make an appearance.. Soon

Thanks Light-she won't be coming for a long time. It is going to be a lovely sunny MIL free summer as well and we won't miss her tantrums if we so choose to go to the park instead of her house for another feast of boiled salmon with no taste that you would not feed a dog..

Really pleased to hear the growth scan went well badfurday. I quite like having a duedate twin on this thread . Not too much longer now!

Blessed no dtd was surprisingly good, thank you for asking. I was hoping a little bit that it might bring on labour but sadly not! Impressed that you managed it when you were overdue with your dd though .

Glad you don't have to see your MiL again for a while. I get plenty of digs from my MiL about being a 'cold English girl' who can't look after her son like a proper wife should. In her case though I think it's less about my nationality and more to do with the fact that I dared to marry her son. Do you think it's the same for your MiL or is she just a big fat racist?

39+4

Of course it is always possible that she is both a big fat racist and a silly cow for whom no woman would have been good enough for her son.

Anyway, glad it is going to be a MiL free summer - yay! And you have your lovely DH and DD and mum and friends to enjoy it with. Let's all have a or as appropriate to toast the many lovely people in our lives.

Blessed I was gonna ask if it was a race thing but didn't want to appear rude. You wouldn't think it was 2014 sometimes would you!!

I'm mixed race and know my mum and faced a lot of criticism when they married and I was young (I'm 30 now) , but it was never family that caused an issue. DH's family are fine with me too but I moved to Stratford upon Avon to be with hubby (born and raised in -multicultural- birmingham) and I'm now the odd one out here as it's a very white area mainly!! Like I say 2014 and some things have hardly changed/moved on!!!

Sending you patience and strength x

at fat rasist. LightTripper has it. She is a fat rasist and no woman would have been good enough for her son, i am friends with Dh's ex girlfriend for a very short few months due to her not liking the girl. She will tell stories about how "they" are coming into " our" country and the state waiting hand and foot on "them". I found a job 3 weeks after arriving in the country and have never been without work. She is bonkers i tell you.
Cannot, totally get what you mean about not wanting to appear rude wrt the race thing, DH told me though that her biggest issue is the nationality. She can't handle having an African DIL, but boy the way she is with Dd, you would think the sun and moon shine out of her tush. She ignores colour when it comes to my Dd, thank God for small mercies..

Dh were just laughing about how she unbooked me from a trip she had paid for all of us to go over a piece of bread. I kid you not mumsnetters. She brought her own homemade bread to our house, wanted to wean Dd whom at the time i was giving light meals, eg light porridge. I suggested that since i had the poridge ready, would she mind putting the bread aside then Dd would most def have it before she left. Reader, all hell broke loose. By the time she left i was not going to Dubai, i was manipulative and oh, i was in love with Dh's twin because i got out of the bathroom wearing a towel, told BIL that i would iron his shirt for him since i was already doing it for Dh, this means one son was not enough, i wanted both of them, at which point Dh showed her the door. Dd was about 4-5 months. Since it was her birthday trip i cajoled and promised treats to Dh if he would go. He was not pleased but could not resist the promises of a blow job for two months straight. Off he went but he almost lodt it when she asked if they could just take Dd without me..

Oh and the bread that caused all that she put it back in her bag and took it home. This woman is worth about 3-4 million kroner..yep very very rich and asked me to sign a prenup before our marriage. Dh had and has no savings to his name,he refused of course and said if she is good enough to marry, she is good enough to share all the money i don't have with. Case closed.

Just !

It is amazing what wonderful men can be brought up by these crazy people. Well done your OH (and you for not totally losing it many years ago!)

Ok ladies, who is in labour now my money is on badfurday..just joking. We are all going to be holding our monkeys soon. Do all newborns sleep that much? Ds wakes up,screams if i don't show him the boob, drinks happily. When full stars dozing off. Then he poops and i change him,puts him down and he is sleeping. The cycle is repeated 2hrs later. I can't remember, but when do they actually wake up and look at you?..

Thanks light. I have two names one of which is not on the birthcertificate but the one i like and am known as. Dh calls me by the short one. On being introduced MIL says ok, obviously you have two names, which one should i call you by. I said call me Kate. She asked me if it was the one on the birthcert, i said no. Marina is on the cert. Then she goes "then i shall call you Marina because that is your real name, Kate does not appear anywhere so it's made up my dad would have been horrified. Pity my whole family is back home in my country.

Will they be able to come and meet Jonathan? Or will you be able to take him to meet them? Must be hard being far away. On the bright side at least they do not have to spend time with MILFH.

As for labour, I haven't even finished work yet!! I am hoping she may even be a bit late, I have so much to do before she arrives. Although I DO since the weekend have something resembling a hospital bag (enough that my OH has stopped nagging me about it ), and nearly have all the bedding for the Moses Basket sorted (just a couple of new bits to go through the wash still), so starting to feel vaguely sorted, at least with essentials.

36+6

Wow, I'm feeling lucky with my unobtrusive mil blessed! Sounds like you're a pro at handling her though :)

I don't get the feeling it'll be me next in labour to be honest. Though I did have the urge to go through my labour bags just now, mostly for in case of transfer, so who knows?!

Pretty much all ready now. And starting to get slightly fed up with the "Ooh have you not popped yet?" Comments. Yes, I have. Can't you tell?!

39wks in 20min...

I would really really like for my baby to come next please? Not sure whether anyone has magical powers to make that happen? I've had horrible periody cramps and lower backache everyday since Saturday but they never quite turn into proper labour .

I still think misty might be next, but I'm rubbish at guessing this stuff.