Martians 2014 Thread 14: on intra-uterine discos and knocking stuff over with your bump.

[SuperMuddle]

Come join us on our shiny new thread!

I'm not really sure what to do about the coat situation - my regular coat just about still does up but doesn't really hang like it should. I've been wearing massive baggy cardigans and avoiding being out in the cold too much - I mostly go from car to office, home to car etc...

No way am I buying a new coat :(

re: Mat leave - my SIL was going on at the weekend about how important it is to take as much leave as you can before the baby comes implying if you don't take much time off before hand if you're not in the right frame of mind to have a baby and therefore somehow are not being a responsible parent.

She went on leave at about 29 weeks - lucky her. She was able to take 12 months mat leave plus all her annual leave on top.

I'm self employed so I get SMA and that's it! I can't afford to go from full time salary to a piddly £500 odd a month just to sit at home for 3 months to "get into the right frame of mind"!

You can bet I felt great about implying I was putting money and work before being a good mother. :-/

My sister was saying the same thing about taking time off to get in the right frame of mind, but she wasn't implying anything about how good a parent I would make! She just thinks I would benefit from having a bit of time to get out of work mode and into baby mode. I'm not really sure how one gets in the right frame of mind though! I think every first time parent is probably in shock for a while.

29 weeks seems crazy early to be going on leave, assuming you are well.

I do hope we manage to get by on SMP without it being too depressing.

liberuna, yes if the next MW is really bad I can and will request to move but I already had to do that in my last pregnancy so I'm reluctant to do it again unless I feel I really have to.

I am still (at 25 weeks) managing to do up my regular coat which is a good thing as my "maternity" coat (it's a regular coat a few sizes bigger with a bump friendly cut) is AWOL. It wasn't in the box of maternity things DH got down from the loft and it's not on the pegs in the hall so I really need to think about where we might have put it.

Mrsk, it's kind of moot for me as my work (when I've even been well enough in pregnancy) is just small amount of admin at home but if I had been working properly full time before my first, I would have worked as close to my due date as I felt able to in order to maximise the amount of paid leave after the baby was born and if I had planned to return after ML I would definitely have been going as late as possible in order to maximise my time with the baby. Unless someone hated their job or was finding it too demanding in late pregnancy I can't imagine what particular benefit there would be in starting it that early and my mind boggles at the idea of needing three months off work to "get in the right frame of mind" for having a baby.

(I can see that a couple of weeks off beforehand to make sure you've got everything organised practically and so that you're not literally going from work to baby with no break would be useful but three months seems extreme without some other reason.)

Yes if you can get it. 29 weeks is really early. I know mrsk there's stuff going on with sil but

1. How many women do you know that we're in the right " frame of mind" when baby came? And do they all put it down to working before?

1. Yes work and money can be priorities if it means I won't have food or gas/electric. By default ,any choices a mother makes are always in the best interest of child. Just because someone else makes a different choice doesn't make it wrong.

Another reason I love these forums, you get to see all the possibilities :)

lib I know - it's weird with her because she has made such a point of saying we need to be super sensitive to each other and not be judgemental or competitive but then she says things like this which make me feel inadequate and basically rubs their circumstances in my face :(

Eeking out a couple more week's work means several hundred more pounds in the bank for us and we're not so rich that this doesn't make a huge difference. So sorry I can't lol around at home doing kegals, hypnobirthing CDs and eating chocolate biscuits for months.

I have name changed for the foreseeable btw - i'm para that all this personal stuff could be attributed to me...hope i don't confuse anyone.

I think taking maternity leave at 29 weeks is a great idea, but there isn't a chance in hell we could afford that. But I just fancy 3 months off work, not to get in the right frame of mind.

Putting money before the baby sounds terrible, but only if it's for silly materialistic things, but paying the mortgage/rent to make sure the baby isn't leaving hospital to live in a cardboard box seems pretty sensible to me!

Hey, maybe she just takes longer to sort her head out than the rest of us

In other news - I had a scan today and watched baby gulping down amniotic fluid and heard the heartbeat. Baby is also head down with his/her back on the left and and feet booting me in the right side - which I knew already!

That's (all being well) the last time we get to peek inside womb-world!

MacD, I've added you to the FB group. MrsK, I've messaged you on FB

Message hasn't come through?

Thanks lyra, that's fb sorted now :-)

Mrsmugoo, I presume you're Mrsk? I didn't have the option to send you a friend request when I looked at your page. Must be security settings or something. So I messaged you suffering you add me instead. We have to be "friends" before I can add you to the Martians group.

Suggesting, not suffering.

Thanks Lyra - will accept now

Have you noticed that it's only the people that go on about how "we need tobe super sensitive to each other and not be judgemental or competitive" are the most guilty of it? ;)

Ahhh cutie baby. I don't get anymore scans. Been having sneak peek at Dec baby thread. All go there!

parenting.allwomenstalk.com/unusual-baby-names

For those looking for inspiration for names

Ha ha lib that's so true. I've never met anyone who's said that they don't like to compete that hasn't immediately become insanely competitive.

I think I'm uncompetitive. To a fault. I have no desire to be the best at anything! DH is a bit the same. I fear for our children.

Ooh, I just did a Christmas related activity and it was actually quite exciting! Sent off pressie for niece in Australia. Hopefully it will get there on time. Was kinds difficult wrapping a present & writing a card on an inch of worktop in the Post Office with people queuing behind me!

Speaking of getting there on time I got a dress off e-bay for the Works party on Sat. Bought it on Tues but seller is posting today. Fingers crossed!

Hi everyone, just popping on quickly.
All the lists of 'essential baby stuff' keep mentioning vests... Sorry if this is a really stupid question but do they wear these under babygros? Why do they need both? Is it easier than wrapping them in blanket or similar to keep them warm?
I know nothing about babies......!! Husband has bought a baby book though so hopefully that will help.

Wow some interesting names there lib!

I'd like to know the answer to the vest question too please, do they wear both all the time?

Depends on how warm it is - they might wear vest and babygro together, vest on its own or babygro on its own. (Though personally I prefer T-shirts/babygowns as they make for easier nappy access.)

Baby should be in one layer more than you generally - so if you're in a tshirt they could have sleep suit and blanket. If you would put a jumper on, add a vest to that for them. Vests also great for under clothes / pyjamas so they don't have a draughty gap around their middle!

Fox what did you end up getting your niece?