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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

February 2014. The cake mix is in the mug, the microwave is on, it's slowly rising and we'll be pinging in three more months!

999 replies

Shropshiremummy2B · 21/10/2013 06:25

Sadly my cake mix is rising too much and resulting in a serious muffin top.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CubanoHabana · 23/10/2013 19:41

So can't remember anything that I have just read!

Welcome newbies!

Hubby felt baby kick for first time yesterday - he sang to it yesterday and when he stopped it started kicking, so then tried singing with hand on bump and felt it - he was so chuffed!

My mw sent off forms for my anti-d and I will have it at 28 weeks, she said I would have blood tests then as well and also needed to book in for whooping cough injection (although asked doc about it when I had flu jab, as I had whooping cough last December and she didn't know whether I w pull need it or not and said ask mw). No mention of an invitation letter or having blood test before it?

Shropshire I hope you enjoy your holiday - really need bump and gun photo next week!

Sure I have missed something that I meant to say but will just blame baby brain!

sunflowered · 23/10/2013 19:43

Oh dear... I'd better get organised - nursery days are going to depend on my flexi working, dh's flexi working, and whether mum was serious about looking after the baby for a day a week. Thanks for the prompt camwombat.

Drinking water and jumping up and down encouraged awkward little bugger bump to find an even more uncomfortable position. But after standing up for an hour at a workshop it somehow slid back into the right place. Only downside was that after an hour on my feet my hands started to swell up...

Dh is slurping lettuce because he's too lazy to eat with both a knife and a fork. He should know by now this is a very dangerous plan of action when there are hormones about.

Starbellybigbelly · 23/10/2013 19:43

Ha I also have pregnancy pilates DVD still in cellophane. And also had a fish finger sandwich! Yum :)

LovesToBake · 23/10/2013 19:45

On the nursery topic, I remember going to look at ours when still pregnant with DS and to be honest found it such a bizarre and unsettling experience, probably because I didn't even have a baby yet so was seriously out of my comfort zone! I then went back when DS was a few months old and formally signed him up (he started aged 13 months when I went back to work) - it's a really lovely nursery, loads of friends had recommended it and it's a good location for us, but just to warn you - don't be too put off if visiting a nursery before you even have a babe in arms freaks you out a bit!

I am so with you ladies about enjoying the autumnal weather too - makes such a different to the constant queasiness after the heat of the summer. Roll on Christmas and then maternity leave and baby!

Champagnebubble · 23/10/2013 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starbellybigbelly · 23/10/2013 20:02

No worries Champagne! Always a bit nervous about googling things anyway. Docs and mw have all been very relaxed about it, then you google and you read completely different things! Same with the anterior placenta.
It seems that every place does it slightly differently! :)

DawnOfTheDee · 23/10/2013 20:04

My DD (20mo) is with a childminder at the moment. We'll send her to nursery when she's 3 I think. Personally I liked her being at a childminder because it's more of a 'homey' type environment. They also do lots of trips out....from little things like trips to the shops and toddler groups to baby sign groups, farms and even on one occasion to the Deep (big aquarium) in Hull (we live in Leeds).

We were lucky that we had a personal recommendation from DH's brother who uses the same childminder. For more than 6 months DD was with one of her cousins which we thought was lovely.

Childminder is very flexible re hours and holiday - again we're very lucky with our cm, i'm sure this isn't always the case. The downside would be there's less 'staff' so if cm was ill (and her daughter wasn't available who is also qualified in childcare and helps out) we'd have to arrange alternatives. So far this hasn't happened.

We'll keep DD going to cm while i'm off on maternity but potentially reducing her days after a few months. Worth keeping her there so i get 1 on 1 time with baby, we keep our 'foot in the door' (have already confirmed we'll want to use her for DD2!) and also DD1 loves it there and gets sooo much out of it.

Sassy20 · 23/10/2013 20:05

I would second the recommendations to get your name down for a nursery now. Some in our area have waiting lists of a year +!

DawnOfTheDee · 23/10/2013 20:06

Oh, and my bump pic will have to wait till tomorrow. Was so knackered today I got into my 'house clothes' as soon as i got through the door....as this involved a ratty nightshirt and no bottoms I will spare you. I promised I would wear bottoms in my next pic. It's the least I can do....Grin

marzipanned · 23/10/2013 20:24

Since I'm planning to be a SAHM, is it worth sending baby (am thinking from age 1-ish, not straight away) to a CM/nursery maybe one day a week? Imagine it'd be good for socialisation, and a professional carer would probably think up loads of activities that I would never dream of?

Would be interested to hear both SAHM and WOHMs' thoughts!!

Camwombat · 23/10/2013 20:32

marzi, I'm a sahm. Ds and I go to music groups, toddler groups, swimming lessons etc. He has plenty of socialization through those groups.
Plus, we go to the park, paint, play, cook etc at home. He learns from what we do and is a dab hand at "cleaning".
He will go to playgroup in January and next September will start at preschool.
At no point have I been concerned he is missing out. Hope that helps

pettyprudence · 23/10/2013 20:46

star I have my anti-d injection at 28 weeks too, no real side effects but for some reason its a bloody painful injection! I remember them asking me to hang around last time for 20 minutes so I just walked back to my car slowly. I will have my blood taken at the same time.

My anti-d was all a bit pointless anyway as ds turned out to be 0 neg too. Wonder if that means dh is 0 neg? he has no idea! It does at least mean I didn't have to have the follow up after birth.

I also have an anterior placenta but its high up (same as last time) so nothing to worry about. Slight increased chance of baby being back to back (ds was) but my mw just put me on all fours and gravity did its job and ds turned at the end of labour. Scrubbing floors on maternity leave is apparently recommended for getting baby to face the right way. Not sure if I am that bothered by it!

We have an absolutely fabulous childminder! I always thought ds would go to nursery as I liked the social environment but once he was here I decided I didn't like our local place plus they weren't very flexible so I put an advert on childcare.co.uk with my requirements and let cm's contact me. My ds is really included in their family and loves going there. My cm is so flexible its almost embarrassing! I am hoping to keep ds there at least 1 day a week when on mat leave for both our sanities! I just went on my gut instinct more than anything, but I think my cm works for us as her children are all grown up (one of her daughters actually works for her) and so I know she doesn't have young children of her own to prioritise, which has caused problems for my friends (ie if cm's child is ill, they cancel the day).

marzipanned · 23/10/2013 20:47

Thanks Cam, that does help. One of my friends found that when her DD started nursery she picked up loads of new skills all of a sudden - but she never went to any baby groups and I think their life was quite solitary. I'm just being a bit paranoid/pfb!!

Sassy20 · 23/10/2013 21:08

Marzipanned I work part time and my dd is at preschool 3 days a week now and was at nursery from a year old. She loves it and gets so much out of it. If it's an option for you is def recommend putting the baby in one day a week as you'll also benefit from the day off to yourself - as lovely as they are having a day to yourself is lovely as well. Grin

LittlePandaBear · 23/10/2013 21:11

My DD, nearly 3 has been going to our childminder since I went back to work and she was 11 months. I had originaly expected her to go to a nursery but many of them didn't open early enough or finish late enough for DH and I to manage it around our work. As we both have relatively long commutes we didn't want to go out of our way for childcare too and extend the day even further. The nursery that was local and did meet our criteria timewise just didn't feel right when we looked around, it was in the middle of an industrial estate and although the facilities were good inside, it didn't feel right leaving my precious baby there! We looked at a few childminders and the one we chose just felt right, I liked the homely environment.

DD is now treated like an extended member of her family, DD loves it there and she's taken to soft play, toddler groups and they do fun activities indoors - crafts etc. She's built up a relationship with our childminders son who's now 10 and he's lovely with her, and she also has a 3 month old baby too so DD is getting practice to be a big sister! She's only there two full days a week as MIL looks after her the other day I work so we're lucky she has a good balance. As others have said, there is the risk that she'll have a sick day and we'll have to make other arrangements but it's only happened maybe once or twice so we can manage it.

I feel like she's learned a lot by being around slightly older children and as a baby she wouldn't have gained much from other babies her own age.

It's a very personal decision and a difficult one to make before you've even met your baby. I liked the home environment of a childminder, her being taken to the shops/bank whatever as I would do with her if I'd been at home instead of work. However I know friends who chose nurseries for opposite reasons - they wanted their child to have a different experience from a day to day home life and wanted loads of facilites on site and space for them to run about with lots of children without having to be taken about in the car. DD isn't the most active child and has always been good at concentrating on things, but maybe if your child is a climbing the walls type then they'd be better in a nursery to keep them stimulated!

The other thing I liked about a childminder was the flexibility - she could have a nap when she wanted for example, whereas at a nursery they have to be more structured and routine led to be fair to all the kids. If you're very particular about your child's routine, eating habits etc then a childminder may be a better option. But again, very difficult to judge until baby is here!

Starbellybigbelly · 23/10/2013 21:13

Thanks petty I get the feeling it's not going to be a comfortable visit. Anti d injection plus blood tests. Not my idea of fun, but necessary all the same.
My placenta was low lying unfortunately, but plenty of time for it to move as uterus grows. Fingers crossed for 32 week scan. Maybe if I stand on my head between now and then!?! ;)

TeaAddict235 · 23/10/2013 21:16

Hey ladies, I leave for a couple of days and there are already 239 messages! So many topics.

But really liking the one raised by marzipanned, I'm going to be a SAHM for at least a year, and I'm interested in knowing whether mothers get bored after leaving work. I'm from a male dominated industry (engineering), and very few mothers work in my field while they are breastfeeding due to radiation or chemical effects. So in the long run they either don't return, or they change roles and do less technical jobs.

Anyway, I'm scared of being like my neighbour (who the DH detests with a passion). Basically she is a SAHM, but has never worked since leaving school (her choice, don't judge), and her youngest is in preschool and her oldest is at secondary school. But we are in the same age group (beginning of 30s), and DH, is just moans saying that as long as I don't end up as her, sunbathing in the garden when he gets back from work.

When as a SAHM you go to mother and toddler groups, is it quite competitive (relaying your cv to each and every person there---arrgg), or are parents really laid back and easy going?

LittlePandaBear · 23/10/2013 21:30

My experience of toddler groups is that the mums talk about the kids and not about work past or present. I never know the mums names, only the kids!

The only competitive bit could be that some seem to go to every group and activity so you could feel inadequate if you only make a couple of groups (but maybe that's just how I feel!)

marzipanned · 23/10/2013 21:36

Thanks Sassy - and that's a very good point about having a day to myself - in the long run I would like to return to work, so it would be good to keep my oar in somehow even if just on a voluntary basis.

TeaAddict this is something I worry about too, continuing to be mentally challenged. But as LPB points out, it's hard to make decisions on these things in advance of (a) meeting our babies and (b) seeing what we are like as mothers! We might go nuts being SAHMs or we might feel like we're the luckiest people alive... I hope I feel the latter, I've wanted to be a Mum for a long time, but I know things don't always work out as imagined!!

marzipanned · 23/10/2013 21:38

Sorry - just realised that last sentence was poorly phrased - implying that WOHMs aren't Mums!! What I meant to say is..I was reading a thread the other day by a woman who had always dreamed of being a SAHM, but the reality of it was driving her completely mad, and I suppose I could just as easily find myself in that situation as the lovely sounding one Cam describes!

Littlestgirlguide · 23/10/2013 21:50

My DD has been going to private day nursery 4 days a week since she was 8 months old, when I went back to work.
I shopped around and visited half a dozen nurseries before I chose one. I would say, don't make an appointment - just turn up and ask, if you want to see what it's really like. If they need time to prepare for your visit you will never know what it's like on a normal day. Go with your instinct, it's not about everything being new and shiny, more about atmosphere. One nursery I visited seemed to be staffed with scowling teenagers, filled with sad looking children, and smelled of wee. We didn't go back. The nursery I chose, when we walked in (unannounced) the children in the baby room - aged 6 to 18 months ish, were sitting round a table playing in a big pile of shaving foam, being encouraged by smiley girls to draw lines and patterns in it. It felt happy and home like. Later on, when DD got to toddlers and pre school room, she loved having a crowd of friends to play with and got quite close to her key worker.
This time round, I'm considering looking for a childminder who can pick up and drop off at DD's school, then both children can be together in the same setting at least part of the day - then baby will be able to go to the school's own nursery when s/he is 3. However I would be more than happy to use the nursery again.

The one thing I am certain of is that I do NOT want to be a SAHM! Though working 3 days rather than 4 would be preferable if I could afford it.

DD's parents evening tonight. Teacher was a full hour behind for appointments, but on the whole happy with DD's progress in her first half term.

Shropshiremummy2B · 23/10/2013 22:42

Well done littlests littlie!

When I say nursery, I mean childminder- she will only have three babies at a time. Plus I discovered on Sunday that I can very easily walk there across fields with the dogs which might be nice.

Kat I read your half term plans as "facial hair cut", not "facial, hair cut", I was thinking that would deffo be top of my priority list!!!

OP posts:
CuckooBird71 · 24/10/2013 00:03

I'm almost too embarrassed to ask but am I too late to join your gang? I'm 42, expecting my first baby on 28th February and am just starting to believe that this is really going to happen.

Will read back now and try to acquaint myself with all your stories...

jenpatnim · 24/10/2013 00:12

Welcome cuckoo!

sunflowered · 24/10/2013 06:48

Dh just felt his first kicks Smile

Am just working through all the nursery/cm info while I eat my branflakes. Feel much more informed already - thanks ladies.

How did people learn all this stuff before mn came along?