Graduated Elderberries - Thread 8

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting/just given birth to their first little bundle of joy.

Thread 8 already!!

ohhh actually didn't know they did ones with arms. Will have a look, thanks hazel.

If I was the one up checking on Harvs at 3am, 4am and 6am, feeding him at 5am and relenting and letting the little fidget in with me at 8am why am I also the one who is up now while my OH sleeps???

Grrr it pisses me off! We have friends coming at 11 and I want to walk the dog before they arrive, bet he only gets up at 10.45

Go wake him up. Really. DH tried to do the same a few weeks ago, I got a written apology later

Mother I find agreeing the night before which 'shifts' we are going to do works well so the Dads know exactly what you expect them to do and you know exactly the times you are baby-free to do stuff/catch upon sleep.

15 minutes to get ready for friends is crazy, baby or not. he needs to grow up and realise what's going on!!!

another product recommendation - lambskin. I got a foot muff that you can also use in the carrycot and unzip to use as stroller liner in the summer. Viki loves it. Even if the carrycot is indoors and not moving, just put him there and he's asleep. Just check that it's real lamb skin and not polyester.

This is probably way TMI but it's too funny not to share...

DH and I were, ahem, doing what couples like to do last night, and towards the end DH whispered in my ear, "This is nice but I don't think another baby is a good idea," which I completely mortified took to mean that things were now too, er, loose post-baby for him to get the necessary purchase. I was a bit taken aback by this but soldiered on and finished the job off by other means. To be quite honest I had already got mine so I don't know why I didn't just turn over and go to sleep while trying to mull over what exactly one can do to solve a baggy fanjo problem.
So this morning I told him he certainly picked a good moment to deliver such a blow, and he looked really puzzled. Turns out he simply meant that in the absence of contraception he was too scared to carry on in case he reached the point of no return.
He is still laughing now at my interpretation of it, but does concede that his choice of words wasn't the best. He says he definitely married the right woman for the fact that I carried on in the face of adversity.

I am so relieved!

snort You're a way nicer wife than I am.

Cavort

Loved the lose fanjo story from cav!
Hope you've all had good weekends. The blasted sleep regression has caught me good and proper. Serves me right for having a big gob. I've been awoken 7 times each night for the last 3 nights an I'm already exhausted

Oh no Lol Hope it doesn't last too long for you. I think we're all pretty knackered at the moment. I am generally in bed at 9.30 most nights these days. I just keep thinking it can't last forever.

Ahh lol that sucks possibly not the best choice of words after cavs story sending sleeping thought to bubs.

cav you made me laugh out loud, to be fair that is how I would have interpreted it too. Men huh.

Cavort, really made me laugh. I'm not sure I would have carried on killed him more like so hats off for being so resilient!

Yes think we are all knackered. DP woke up at 4am to find me crying as Miles kept waking up. Thankfully he swapped sides with me and took a turn at looking after him, then took him downstairs at 7am leaving me to have a lie in. Bliss.

Don't let this put you off preggers ladies! I found the first three months or so much, much easier (unexpectedly so) and know or hope deep down that this will soon pass.

Ohh janey really feel for you.

My OH is being really shitty as he's started a new training program at the gym and all his muscles hurt, he is making more of a fuss than I did after the c section!! Begining to do my head in now! He is even moaning about having to hold Harvey as his arms hurt.

Plus he is a clumsy twat an tipped over all the stored expressed milk so is pissed off that I've sent him out to get emergency formula. Men huh. Whats more he didnt tell me, I only found out when I went to try an feed him, he just assumed I could express endless amounts if I needed too. Could try breastfeeding again but that isn't a good overnight option as it takes 3 times as long and i have to change afterwards as he dribbles all down me or spits milk on me. Tomorrow will include lots of expressing I feel.

quite the opposite with night feeds here - Viki does not feed properly during the day, as there is just too much to distract him, so he just nibbles, then wriggles around, bites me just for fun etc etc. But at night he has proper feeds, without even waking up.

Of course, there are downsides to night breastfeeding as well, as I have to be the one waking up. So did the wakings, then today I have to go to work, run home for lunch and try to feed him, work again, teach a Bodycombat class in the evening - I'm pretty sure DH would not even be able to handle this day after day.

Hazle that's intense. Janey poor you crying, it must be tough, things always feel worse at night as well. Good work your lovely OH gave you a lie in.

No labour signs to report - some Braxton hicks and that's all! Doing things like cinema trips and meals out just the two of us while it's easy. It's my NHS due date today.

cavort you really made me laugh! I put my foot in it on Sat night as was chatting to DH about maybe dtd (he's been on a sex ban since March because of that cervix stuff - turns out my cervix is tough!). Anyway was going to subtly try and get some dtd action going near due date but in the end I just said it and he was laughing saying he would be really worried about poking bumpy in the head now it's all low and so active! I said "no don't worry, you'll get nowhere near it" - he was like "cheers, thanks for that!" Really not how I meant it at all but made us laugh!

Oh hazle, I don't know how you do it, am so impressed. As Miles was waking up for the first time last night (at four mins past midnight, gah) I was thinking of you actually, and wondering how it was going with working too. Miles feeds a lot at night too, I'm not sure he eats enough during the day simply because he's too excited and nosey and distracted by everything around him. The next three days I've decided are going to be all about ramming food into him in daylight hours and making sure he has enough daytime sleep. I shall not be leaving the house!

Due date Alex!! Exciting!! Really not long now

I've got a guy round today sorting out our satellite tv and he just asked when I'm due over a cup of tea - I said today and he now looks terrified and is working his butt off so he can escape. That's one way to get the job done quickly!

janey it's not that bad really. The worst is that I miss him so much. But he does nto seem to be harmed in any way. And of course, I enjoy the time together so much more.

Come on baby Alex!! We're all waiting!

Hazle I am knackered just thinking about your day!

Janey Elodie's first wake up is also around midnight now - it really is a killer isn't it? And I am also on a mission to make sure her daytime sleep is good after it all went to shit over the weekend. Nap 1 is currently underway so it's going ok so far.

Interesting developments here on the expressing front. Usually I just express when I fancy I lie in when required and the milk is used up within a day. I don't usually end up freezing much and when I do it's still used quite quickly.
On Saturday night we ended up having a babysitting disaster after my Dad had tried to put her to bed and she had refused the bottle and was screaming the place down, so we left the restaurant and went round to calm her down/collect her. She has never refused the bottle so I ended up tasting the milk and it was absolutely disgusting - nearly made me sick so no wonder she was refusing it! I had sent round loads of 3-4oz bags of frozen BM so we defrosted a few more (just to try and feed her as I had drank too much to feel comfortable feeding her) and they smelled/tasted exactly the same - disgusting. The milk seemed ok once defrosted and still cold but as soon as it was warmed it started smelling 'off.'
I spent yesterday panicking baffled and experimenting/eliminating any possible contamination in the expressing/freezing process and after much Googling have come to the conclusion that I have an excess of lipase in my milk which is harmless but causes an unpalatable smell/taste in older expressed milk which many babies won't drink. This explains it much better than I can.
So I now need to scald the expressed milk before storing it to disable the lipase - as if expressing wasn't enough hassle already!
I thought I would post about this in case it happens to anyone else. It's strange that I have been EBFing/expressing for 4.5 months and it has only just come to light.

cavort I'm not sure if I have excess lipase, but I have noticed the soapy taste as well. I used to keep milk in the freezer up to 3 days, as most sources claim 3-5 days is fine. But not in my case, it's definitely disgusting if used after 3 days. So now I only keep it in the fridge to be used the next day, otherwise freeze - seems to be fine then even without scalding.

I'm still a bit baffled to be honest Hazle but I have another night out panned in 2 weeks so I need to figure it out pronto! I am just going to scald before freezing to be on the safe side. It's not the end of the world as once she is on solids in the New Year I can give formula to cover any time away from her so I just need to express and scald to see me through Christmas. It's definitely not the process as I expressed yesterday morning, froze it, defrosted it, reheated it and DH gave it at bedtime and it was fine. Like you say, it seems to happen over time so lipase is the only explanation. I read that freezing slows the lipase so the milk may take a few weeks to spoil rather than a few days in the fridge but the frozen milk we tried to use this weekend was less than a few weeks old and still smelled funny when heated.

Do you think the lipase thing may have contributed to Viki's bottle refusing?

No, I don't think this was the issue. The first time he refused it was with a totally fresh milk, tasted fine. Also freezing does seem to stop the spoiling process, yesterday I defrosted some milk frozen in September, and that tasted normal. It just can't be kept in the fridge (and ours is cold, 4c) for more than a day or so.

The milk that you defrosted, was it frozen immediately after expressing or kept in fridge first?

Frozen immediately

Interesting cavort, we had to throw some out that has been frozen immediately and defrosted a couple of weeks later that Miles refused. Given he will eat anything (milk, expressed, formula, warm, room temp or straight from fridge) there was def something wrong with it! We don't usually freeze it and usually use it on the same day it's expressed...

Also trying with the routine today. Morning nap took an hour to get him down and thinking of skipping baby massage to try to get a long lunchtime nap in for the first time in ages.