December 2013 - waddling slowly onwards

[LadyMedea]

Our new thread!

I think ive messaged you feather but I'm using my phone and might have done it wrong

Happy Birthday feather!

Had my first NHS antenatal class tonight, was ok, but didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know tbh. Also, the women kept talking about 'your husband' throughout despite 50% of the women there being there themselves and most of us not wearing wedding rings. Is it wrong to get a bit pissy at her assuming everyone is married, is straight and has a partner? Maybe I'm nit picking, but I imagine it could be a bit shit if say, your partner had left you/didn't want anything to do with the birth or if you were gay, for example.

steps off ranty soapbox

I should say the midwife kept referring to 'your husband'.

Half tempted to turn to DP and say "why must you make me be an unwed whore!!" And run out the room crying.

thanks everyone! i am quite relieved to have made it. it will be even better when we move it to the new flat and our stuff arrives. at least we bought a mattress so we'll have a place to sleep when we move in.

itsliz in the grand scheme of things it did go pretty fast but it was not a walk in the park. especially with my mom there the last week... i just wanted it to be over. but looking back, it really wasn't that bad.

whisper i'm worried about you (although i must admit the bathtub episode made me laugh - my dh would've had the same reaction as yours). While i would gladly tell you to man up, I was told to call the dr immediately if i started feeling period pain. how are you feeling now?

happy belated feather!

pregnancy has been ok for me, I think yoga has really helped keeping me level-headed through all of this. bohemian i'm glad this all happened before your class, and that yoga made you feel better.

I say that, and then today, coming back from yoga i lost my parking ticket and needed to pay the full day rate! it's only $14 but i was inconsolable. budget is tight with just one income and a wee one coming and all i kept thinking was what a waste. totally irrational reaction, but i guess i'm no super woman and hormones do play mind tricks with me like with everyone else. i just came back to our flat and ate half the jar of nutella....

meandbumpy i dont think men could do this. when i see how mine reacts when he has a 'man flu' - makes me laugh. that being said, while i really try to not be whining and complaining because i know he has a lot of stress to deal with already, i think he realises just how hard it is, because he is being so sweet and caring. but i dont think he could do it :)

glad to see a lot of you have started mat leave or are starting soon. i'm only 30 weeks and feeling pretty good, but it's so nice to be able to lie down and not feel guilty.

I wonder who will be the first to give birth? some of you due in early december are getting close!!!!

ccsays that is crap! I would have been unable to resist going up to them at the end and politely asking them to use the term 'birth partner' not husband. As well as excluding non-married heterosexual couples and single ladies (who I hope still have a birth partner, very sad if they don't) that could be considered directly discriminatory against lesbian couples and so a breach of the Equality Act.

Just catching up now, belated happy birthday feather

Very true about the antenatal classes, both times I've been the only one on my own, wasn't arsed it was because DP was looking after our daughter but they didn't know that. The midwife kept banging on about how vital the birth partner is which would have been a bit shit if I hadn't got one! (Still haven't really sorted Childcare yet so may end up being an issue after all!)

Got my flu & whooping cough jabs this morning not looking forward to them at all!

Had the heartburn from hell last night while I was trying to go to sleep even though if eaten 5 hours before I went to sleep. Both DH and I dreamt that the little one arrived last night except in his I gave birth to a cabbage patch doll lol!!

I have my jabs today too mrs I have the new bridget jones book to read afterwards as a treat for being brave. I hate needles :(

rose my pains went away by about 11 and haven't come back yet today. I did ring the midwife but she said it sounded more like growing pains/round ligament pain than anything to worry about.

ccsays That is ridiculous. Some people just don't think before they open their mouths. People keep asking me when me and DP are getting married and I reply with a long time in the future and they seem genuinely shocked that I am having a baby and not married. Like I am a crazy person. I don't see what difference it makes. If DP is going to treat me badly or whatever he will do it whether we have spent loads on a wedding or not!

glad you had a good time at yga bohemian

I get really fed up with people asking me about marriage. DP and I have been together for 10 years and whilst I have nothing against marriage, it's not for us. I think choosing to have a child with somebody is a far bigger commitment. Rant over.

People have mostly given up asking about marraige. DP and I have been together 12 years, share a mortgage, have his son living with us and we are having a baby together. We will get married in a few years time when the baby making is done and I have lost the baby weight.

Reason why:

I want the same name as my kids
I also like the idea of my OH publicly declaring his love for me
And,
It would be an awesome party (on a budget :))

We agree that just because you are married, it doesn't mean your relationship is safe. If we do get hitched, it won't change our relationship. It would a natural progression.

That's the reason I want to get married pink I'm the only one in the household with a different last name

Definately don't think you're moany meandbumpy I totally feel you, bring on the Xmas bubbly

That and I love dp and have done for a long time.
Should've led with that lol

Pinkwitch we are unusual in that we are married,but i kept my own name and the kids took my name too,i would of agreed to a double barrel name for them but dh hates them and said he would rather they had my name,hes not traditional in any way shape or form though,i know a lot of men who would never consider that.

I woul like another after this but maybe after 3 or 4 years,i want to enojy the ones i have for a while,i have had 2 close togeht,well 3 close together before,but this time i will have to do the afternoon school run too,before if i was tired or it was just one of those days we could stay in pjs and just relax but this ime i will actually have to get me and 2 under 2s out to collect 3 kids under 6 and get us all home!

• together

Good luck to everyone having jabs today! Make sure you treat yourself to some chocolate afterwards

Couldn't agree more about the choice of phrasing in your class ccsays. I've had a lot of people, be it midwives or random strangers, referring to DP as my husband and although it doesn't bother us, it's the sort of thing that could quite easily cause offence... Especially in that sort of environment where most people in the room are pregnant and hormonal!

And as you said chilli, I think having a baby with someone is a much bigger commitment than getting married. Obviously I appreciate that some people would disagree based on religious or personal beliefs, but that doesn't change the fact that it's just how modern life is now!

Ooh and all this talk of yoga has reminded me - when I went to that Mothercare event last week, I was entered into a draw to win a 6 week term of pregnancy yoga classes... and got an email the next day saying I'd won!
I'm over the moon as it's something I promised myself I'd do when I first found out I was pg, but with money being tight I couldn't afford it. The classes start on 12th Nov and run right up to 17th Dec by which point I'll be 38 weeks, so I hope I won't be cutting it too fine...!
No idea what to expect either, so if you've been before then feel free to enlighten me

We're married but I kept my name and have my married name mentioned on my passport and use it socially, and DS has DH's name. My mother did this and I'd encourage DD to do the same. For us marriage was pretty essential because DH got himself posted away and I wouldn't have been able to go without the ring (the state is still traditionalist!), and our personal religious views mean marriage is just as big a commitment as having children.

They should just say partner really,that covers everything doesnt it?im not sure ANYTHING really ties you to someone these days,a baby is only a commitment if yo want it to be,and its so easy to get divorced these days,marriage is the same,its just what you make it.

I have eaten really shitty this pregnancy,i havnt really felt hungry at all and the only things i ive wanted to eat have been chocolate and pretzels!I think my body is trying to make up fr it because the last week or so ive been craving raw veg-baby sweetcorn,sugar snap peas,carrots and celery-and really cold water,its all ive wanted!i have just eaten a whole bag of carrots!

How's your arms doing whisper? My flu arm is fine, the whooping cough ones starting to ache.

It is ridiculous that the assumption still is that you're married if you're having a baby. Being married won't automatically make you better parents or anything like that.

At least they assumed they were your husbands...

When I had my operation they asked if my dp was my dad!!

And when I was in hospital last week they all assumed my mum was my friend..

I do look young for my age and dp looks slightly older than 28 but he doesn't look that old! He's only 6 years older than me lol..

All those having jabs after a few days it's starts to ease.Just trwtreat yourself to chocolate and cake lol.

I do too alyssa :)

Without sounding too slushy, my DP is my other half. We have been together through lots of ups and downs and we shouldn't need to spend a fortune on marriage.

However, if someone wanted to pay for a wedding with all the trimmings, I certainly wouldn't let them down (lol)

Marriage before kids was non-negotiable for me and DH, not particularly for religious reasons but it was just how we were raised. We'd been together 10 years before we got married and knew we wanted to start a family soon, to both of us it seemed natural to marry first. It has changed how both of us feel about our relationship, we feel more of a self-declared single unit, but certainly don't view anyone else's relationship as, well, any of our business! I think the important thing is for both parties to be happy, that's all that matters at the end of the day right?

You can have the same name as your kids without getting married: give them your name! Why should they have your DP's name and not yours?

DP and I have also been together 11 years, and while we're technically engaged, I really have no desire to get married (he knows this and is fine with it). The thought of a wedding just brings me out in hives! We will probably do it for reasons of financial security at some point. There's no way I'd ever change my name though. DCs will be double barrelled as the names go well together.

I've found health professionals to be desperate to get it right as to whether I am a Miss, Ms, or Mrs, which is respectful, but I really don't care either way. (as long as they never call me by DP's name - DP's mother take note!!!!).

both my arms really hurt if I move them. got all snuggly in bed to nap and discovered I can't lie on either of them for more than 10 minutes without it being too painful. glad you're not too bad mrsshrubs

I might as well chip in too! I agree, people these days should use the term 'partner' so as not to offend anyone. Things have changed a lot and whereas some people may be more traditionalist, there are so many different types of family and partnerships that people should be more open minded and use the correct terminology.

I did do it the traditional way, but only just! I was 3 months pregnant when we got married but that was only because we were impatient and started trying not knowing it'd happen first time (I was just lucky I didn't feel sick on my wedding day!) I don't think my mum was that impressed - it wasn't her 'ideal' way for things to go, but DH's mum was also pregnant when they got married so it didn't phase her. And these days, its quite normal to get married after kids or not at all -funny how it's changed just in 1 generation really.

ring a whole bag of carrots?? not all at once I hope!

itslizwell done on winning that prize, and what a great one that you can make use of! I do pregnancy yoga once a week and it is great, I'm not that flexible (esp with my bump now!) but it really stretches out my joints and there's a nice relaxation bit at the end. Enjoy it- it can only be good for your wellbeing and preparing you for birth. I'm entering loads of baby comps at the moment but nothing won so far tho a few years back I won a buggy and a load of toys so it's well worth trying.

Because I want to get married eventually qumquat and our names do not go well together lol and having to do the whole official name change by deed poll is a mess on and unnessacary when we will all have the same last name some day.

We intended to get married last year and he year before but fell pregnant first lol