Graduated Elderberry Pavlovas - Thread 7

[Cavort]

Newly diffed right through to new Mums. A thread for the over 30's expecting their first baby.

Poor little Finn. His Mother is clearly disillusioned and will be in for a shock when an actual baby turns up rather than the idealistic little elf she is expecting.

She bored me so I didn't get to the end but the 'care of self' area made me laugh!

Had a lovely time at my friends baby shower today, to be honest its nice to just get everyone together and give gifts, all the games are a bit lame.

One of the games today was to match the different colour poos to the different stages, i.e merconium all the way through to breast milk poo. Why not just have a laugh? Why make it a test? Seemed odd to me.

Hello ladies. Hope you are all well. Looking for some advice... I'm wearing over the bump jeans, but where the over the bump stretchy material meets the top of the jean waistband sits pretty low (under the bump). Because of this none of my work shirts (or tops smart enough for work) are long enough to reach the top of the jean waistband. I have a suspicion the bump in a maternity shirt is going to be far too big for me at this stage so any ideas what I can wear on top for work in the meantime? It's a relaxed office (so jeans are fine but normally with a shirt or top and jacket)

Hi merk I have the same issue with a fair amount of my over bump clothes. I got some of the cheap spaghetti vests from Primark, they are pretty long and not only hold the stretchy panel in place but also hide the bit you're worried about. Worked for me

Ok, I think my thigh and groin pain is actually this. Which sucks.

On the plus side it comes and goes, but it is worse in the evenings and at night, I find it really hard to get comfy in bed and it's tricky to get out of chairs without some pain. Although, on the plus side, I got hardly any sleep on Saturday night which meant I was so tired last night I slept through without waking to pee....whoop whoop!

I'm going to go swimming tonight and see if that helps. I have a midwife appointment on Thursday so I'll ask her about it then too.

Is it odd that I had it for a day or 2 a couple of weeks ago in my left side and then it went away, but now I have it again on the other side.

Oh sorry if you have got that mother I had lower back ache last night so put one of those heated stuff animal things on it (like a water bottle but you put in the microwave), I didn't have it too hot but I think it helped a bit.

Oh the jeans, my mat jeans are very low cut too so have to be careful - I basically have to wear a really long vest top underneath other tops as well. I can't fit into many of my non-mat tops anymore though, just a couple. I'm going to treat myself to a nice maternity dress this weekend, I'm after something quite casual but still nice for evening stuff.

I know I'm being a bit sensitive but...my stepdad was trying to talk me into getting a travel cot instead of a proper cot for their house, as it would need to be left up all the time and they have other guests staying in their house. I also mentioned safety gates for the stairs and do we need to think about that and he said he doesn't think it's necessary. I did explain our car space is tight so bringing stuff each time might be tricky but he said that was negative thinking and we'll manage fine in our car. My mum wasn't around but has already mentioned having a decent cot there for the baby. Just wondered what other people do with cots/safety gates at the grandparents?

Mother - try to avoid doing breast stroke if you can when swimming as this can actually make PGP worse (I had it too so you've got my sympathy)

Alex - how far away are your parents, would you be staying overnight? Can you not just use the carry cot from your pram for naps? Lucy visits my mum regularly and all she's got there is a bouncy chair but we live close so it's not overnight.

alex we are getting a small travel cot for downstairs so I can leave bubs sleeping I am praying he sleeps while I go to the loo without having to worry about the dog laying on him.

My folks are already talking about bits they are going to get for theirs, not too worried about stair gates yet as we can easily shut the door to the stairs. They will probably get a travel cot, a playmat, a bouncey chair and a highchair etc when they need to though. My mum is quite excited to have some bits their for him. Don't take your step dads words to heart, men just don't think when they speak!

purple thanks for the tip, I may try and do just kicking with a float instead. Its not too bad apart from in the evenings and at night but my thigh actually feels bruised at times, rolling over in bed is the worst. My OH just thinks I'm odd! I think its because he can't see anything wrong.

I am hoping bubs will nap in his pram carrycot, to be honest one of parents will probably be cuddling him most of the time anyway. But I know my mum wants to buy some bits for him, I think they want to have him a day or 2 a week when I go back to work. I don't plan on him doing overnights for a while as my mum struggles to sleep anyway.

They live over an hour away so def overnight stays and my mum is massively excited about her first grandchild so I think she'll want things to be as easy as poss for visits, especially bearing in mind she wanted us to come over for Xmas and the baby will prob be between 2 weeks and a month old by then. We won't have a pram carrycot as it's a bugaboo bee (only good for short naps), so we'll need to get a travel one anyway, but due to our car size we won't be able to fit lots in!

You can get travel cots which fold up really tiny or just get your mum to buy a moses basket for a starter?

God Christmas is going to be crazy isn't it! We always head down to the seafront on Christmas morning for a walk and they have a live band playing Christmas songs and you can get mulled wine, egg nog etc. It's become our Christmas tradition. We then go to my mum and dads for the day. This year we will be loading the car with a dog, a baby and gifts....god we'll be well loaded! May have to take the presents over a few days before I think. Also, how on earth are we going to afford Christmas when I'm on SMP....eeeek.

Thanks mother, do you know what, I'm not sure it was even about the cot, more the fact he made it sound like we were guests and the room we stay in a guest room, whereas his daughter who visits as often as us has a bedroom completely made up for her/name stencilled on the wall etc. I haven't minded this one bit as she's only ten so totally understandable but it just seemed odd then making a comment about our baby's cot being up all the time in one of the guest rooms. Luckily my mum being massively excited and wanting to go shopping with me to get my baby stuff etc makes up for it!

I'm thinking about starting my Xmas shopping soon so I'm all ready rather than a mad dash just before like I usually do Your sea front walk sounds lovely! Mmm mulled wine I wonder what Xmas will be like this year with a brand new baby!

Merk I just wore longer tunic-style tops and bump bands to cover the ugly waistbands. I didn't bother with maternity tops, I just wore much cheaper stretchy normal tops and they lasted me until I finished on Mat leave at 36 weeks.

Alex you obviously have a good few months of having a non-mobile baby before you will need stair gates anywhere, so I would just play it by ear. When the time comes I bet your parents will get stair gates as they will want their grandchild to be safe while s/he's staying over.

Mother Guess the poo? Whoever organised that little soiree sure knows how to throw a good party!

Today is day 1 of trying to get Elodie to take her daytime naps in her cot upstairs. It's not going well. She can't self-settle so I have been up and down the stairs what feels like a hundred times. She usually naps where she can see us and settles back off if she stirs if there's someone in sight so this is a bit of a shock to her. I have to admit I am considering some kind of sleep training to nip this kind of thing in the bud while she's young, but I am too soft and find it hard to leave her crying for a while even when it's for the greater good.

Alex I totally understand, it seems like a personal slight. I think he was most likely just being a man...i.e only opening his mouth to change feet! Just ignore him, your mum will sort him out.

Merk I agree with janey I actually have a limited maternity wardrobe and am basically screwed now that it's cooler and I can't wear my nice summer maternity skirts. Two pairs of trousers have basically seen me through, I have one maternity shirt which is still big and makes me look humungous. I went for stretchy tops as they made me feel less like a blob as I still had some shape. Layering is the way forward I discovered.

janey it's obvious....you need a life sized cardboard cutout. Could you try gradually getting further out of sight so in the end she can only hear you rather than see you? Or another thought, could you go in and stand their so she can see you but not say anything perhaps play some music for her, then gradually move away so she can only hear the music not see you. If that works you could end up with a magic piece of music which soothes her, so if she wakes you just switch that on and she'll settle? Sounds good, could be totally different in practice though!

Oh and don't get me started re guess the poo, the whole idea re the 'what's in the nappy game' is that its gross eating out of a nappy! By turning it into a test it took the whole point out of it. Plus we both said we don't want to know too much about nappy contents until we have to deal with them, as long as baby is pooing I'm not fussed about what 'poo stage' he is at.

Bugger, thought I had 3 weeks left at work, I've got 4!

My friend who's due a week before me finishes this Friday, seems very early to me but think she is struggling to sleep and is tired most of the time.

mother when are you due again? I've got seven weeks of work from today! I'm managing to sleep most of the night but still tired!

at life size cut out of cavort I didn't know you're meant to start getting them used to daily naps upstairs, again I have to much to learn! On the bright side, climbing up and down stairs will keep me fit when the time comes!

Alex could you persuade them to go for one of those fold-up cots which could live at their house, under the bed or something? I've seen some really nice ones, though if course only suitable when baby is fairly little.

Mother I genuinely think you could make money out of the Cardboard Mummy idea considering some of the crap which gullible parents will buy

Had my 28wk appt this morning, all good, baby head down and fundal height 27cm which apparently means I have grown 7cm in 4 weeks or the GP who did my 20 wk check didn't have a clue what he was doing . We went to John Lewis yesterday to look at prams, which felt like a rite of passage, and I think we are both pretty convinced by the BJCM GT, which ticked more of my boxes than the Bee and is far more within our comfortable financial range. Only downside I can see is not having parent-facing, but we'd probably use the car seat initially or perhaps get the carrycot, both of whicj you can do with the seat fabric off so it doesnt look so clunky. But the simple one-hand fold is such a massive plus point in my book (small flat, no car so on public transport a lot). In other regards JL terrified us a bit as there is SO MUCH other stuff you are made to feel you need and it made it feel very real all of a sudden, particularly looking at the little teeny clothes.

Alex could you persuade them to go for one of those fold-up cots which could live at their house, under the bed or something? I've seen some really nice ones, though if course only suitable when baby is fairly little.

Mother I genuinely think you could make money out of the Cardboard Mummy idea considering some of the crap which gullible parents will buy

Had my 28wk appt this morning, all good, baby head down and fundal height 27cm which apparently means I have grown 7cm in 4 weeks or the GP who did my 20 wk check didn't have a clue what he was doing . We went to John Lewis yesterday to look at prams, which felt like a rite of passage, and I think we are both pretty convinced by the BJCM GT, which ticked more of my boxes than the Bee and is far more within our comfortable financial range. Only downside I can see is not having parent-facing, but we'd probably use the car seat initially or perhaps get the carrycot, both of whicj you can do with the seat fabric off so it doesnt look so clunky. But the simple one-hand fold is such a massive plus point in my book (small flat, no car so on public transport a lot). In other regards JL terrified us a bit as there is SO MUCH other stuff you are made to feel you need and it made it feel very real all of a sudden, particularly looking at the little teeny clothes.

Doh yep I see I put janey not cavort.....OOOOPS. I am not up to speed today. Would like to be at home eating my body weight in maoam!

alex I'm due on the 7th of November, so in 6 weeks 3 days.....eeeek. My maternity starts on 28th October, but I'm sneaking in some holiday before so my last day is actually the 17th October.

quod I am jealous of your head down baby, at my last midwife appt at 31 weeks (I think) she couldn't tell how baby was laying. I have what I think is a foot by my tummy button so hopefully his head is down where it should be, even if he is back to back?

I think it's a great choice quod! You can still see the baby over the top as well, especially in the carrycot or car seat. Isn't it the easiest thing to fold!

On the cot, I'm def not persuading, my mum will want it to be nice for the baby to stay so she'll work out a good option. I really think it was my stepdad's attitude that upset me a little bit, as if the cot would be in the way in one of their guest bedrooms whereas my mum's attitude is all about making things as easy as poss and looking forward to the baby.

Good news on your scan. My midwife didn't say anything about the position at my last scan (at around 28/29 weeks) - maybe they'll check mine at the next scan? I thought the baby went head down later on? Think mine has hiccups at the moment!

Mother good suggestions, but I feel like I have tried everything else so am running out of approaches.

Alex usual advice is for baby to always sleep in the same room as parents until about 6 months, but sleep is not really happening during the day at the moment so a more extreme approach is needed I feel.

All swum out. God it's not easy dragging myself through the water with a big bump and dodgy hips.....geez Im a catch at the moment!