October 2013 - swollen hands, puffy feet and we all need a decent sleep

[roxvox]

Time to start thread #17!

Spreadsheet here

Great news MoN - fingers crossed it stays the 4th (although I don't know whether you'd prefer the other hospital?)

Heffa - I thought for a long time that my DD would be an only (primarily down to DP's instance from the outset that he only wanted one) so I can understand a little of how you are feeling

Your comment wondering how you'll feel about your post-birth body really got me thinking and made me realise how many different (and contradictory) feelings I have.

On the one hand I feel incredibly fortunate that my body has been able to conceive easily and carry a baby to term (fingers firmly crossed it'll manage it twice). Even with my miscarriage I felt very grateful that my body gave me an "easy" straightforward one and seemed to know what to do.

All the stretch marks (and I have a pretty impressive collection) and other signs of having been pregnant/given birth haven't really bothered me.

However, developing my uterine prolapse post-DD's birth initially really hit me hard in terms of feeling womanly/sexy/desirable and I am scared about the prospect of needing corrective surgery.

Sorry for the essay - was mulling it over in my head as I walked the dog!

Just cannot keep up with you ladies!!!

Sorry you have had such a scare Falcon xx

Hi Diege I am the other lady on number 6!

Had my last day at work on Weds, and they bought me some things for the baby, some smellies and candles, and put some money in a card for me too - was really nice of them

Lots to say to lots of you, but don't have the time! will try and pop back later, but no doubt there will be another 100 posts by then!!

Congrats on finishing work GT - another milestone, another step nearer...

Congrats to you too caz

clapham do you think if you repeated all that to DP he might be more sympathetic and helpful? Quite often men need to be spoonfed with what they must could do to help out. I know my DH falls into that category...
Re: your DS, I was exactly the same with mine this morning and had the same worry about how the baby must react to the hormones and noise associated with an impatient tantrum (on my behalf). Earlier this thread (or was it the last) someone said that the baby doesn't get effected by our stress and worries. I hope that's true or this is going to be one grumpy little girl!
DS will forgive you. Hopefully your DH and employer will help you ease off the stress of the commute xx

no pseudo they've never done it and I report to someone who has emotional intelligence of a 20 year old boy... so it would never cross his mind. But good point - I should just ask for it. Every time I need to work from home I feel like I'm asking for a massive favour... although all my work can be done from home, online or on calls. I think asking for flexible hours in this last week is a good idea and the tube is so busy again now that summer holidays are over...

Sorry your having a bad day clapham do u have long left until maternity leave

MoN that's quite an early c section isn't it? As I'm due 14th of oct and if I remember rightly u Are due after me? Excellent news that u and dp have a date to focus on now though

I can't remember who asked how well I no the Facebook girl who chose the name theo but I don't no her particularly well, she goes to the toddler group I go to on a Monday other than that I wouldn't no her at all x

I'll be 38+ 1 Heffa.
I'm much happier where I am Bridget. It's a newer hospital and I just don't like the feel of the other one, also my sister who has delivered in both hospitals reccomend the Princess Royal. It's also much easier to get to for visitors who will be relying on public transport. I know the midwives there and they know me so it just feels better.
I just hope that there are no unforseen complications with regards to her heart defect and she doesn't have to be rushed to the Southern General anyway.

It had to be done early as I'm at higher risk of preterm labour and rupture due to all my previous sections Natalie. Still panicking I might go into labour as my own dates which I know are right make me due on the 12th though the hospital are saying the 17th.

That's really soon MoN, how exciting.

Clapham, I know what you mean about working from home. I've been doing that every afternoon this week and am worried that everyone thinks I'm taking the piss even though I am doing as much work as I would in the office.

I agree, you should ask at work if you can do flexible working or just work from home now that your stand-in has kind of taken over anyway. I've been so grateful that I don't have to commute at the moment. I don't think I would have been able to do it, hats off to all you commuters.

Maybe DP will feel bad when you tell him what happened this morning.

Oh clapham that does sound incredibly tough. What have you got to lose by asking? Can you go higher then the person you normally report to?

MoN how exciting...!

Reckon we should all get our moans out today. My nan called my mum earlier but as she was driving I answered. Of course my nan asked "how are you, how's bump etc?" I replied I was feeling pretty good after a decent nights sleep to which the reply from her was "oh good, I've never seen anyone as big as you before" ouch! Bloody hell! Yes I know I've put on weight and I have rather a decent tummy but I was fine with it. It's just part of being pregnant but the way she said it was like I was some sort of weirdo that's managed to balloon up and still have 5 weeks to go. Sure ill forget all about her comment by tonight but seriously! My other nan had a lovely reaction to the name... "Fancy calling him that!" Jeez is it a generational thing where people over the age of 75 can't keep their thoughts to themselves?!

Rant over.

thanks pink xx I keep telling DP how I feel but he just thinks I'm overreacting and he is in fact excited and interested. Perhaps just not so good at showing it then... And I think he felt guilty this morning as he knows from personal experience how long and tiring this drop off walk is and how hard my commute is. He also commutes on Northern Line every day so knows how busy and stressful it gets. (I have only one week left nat so not too bad)

Sounds like we both had a mummy tantrum filled morning :-) Ironically... it was me who wrote about babies not being affected by stress! This is what my GP told me with great conviction when I asked a couple of months ago, quoting babies born in war zones totally unaffected by bombs falling around them and mums being constantly sick with stress! But I screamed so much this morning that got worried anyway...

nat I wouldn't discount Theo only because someone else has used it, unless it's very close family. You will always find other children with the same name you chose, impossible to avoid it. For all you know, she may end up moving to the other side of the world next month. It's more important that you choose the name you love.

Oh Clapham what a horrible stressful and painful morning - I'm not surprised you feel annoyed with your DP as that little bit of extra effort from him would have made such a difference to you.

No words of advice really - can only sympathise as my DP is terrible at showing his emotions and, apart from a very brief demonstration of interest and TLC post-expedition, has been very uninvolved with this pregnancy. He likes to tell me that I've "brought it all on myself" when I complain about anything pregnancy related.

At our antenatal class we were told that blood tests taken on men living with a pregnant woman showed a marked rise in their oxytocin levels - supposedly leading to increased tenderness and affection towards their partner. Hmmmm

Oh, full steam ahead for the 4th then MoN

dp is just putting the pram together......the instructions are yet to be opened. men!!!!!

Nat, my DH wants to call the baby Theodore and shorten it to Thor. I said no to the Thor bit, definitely wouldn't pass the supermarket test.

sorry you're having a crap day clapham. Look after yourself.

clapham so sorry your dp is not being suportive and helpful. I really hope things get easier for you.

bridget nice to know I'm not alone with the mix of feelings about my body. Same as you, I'm not bothered about the stretch marks etc, it's just losing this womanly feeling that I'm worried about. It doesn't help that I have bad PCOS which causes excess hair and things, that makes me feel pretty rubbish tbh.

gtbaby I've been thinking exactly that about the clothes. I've never had the confidence to wear fitted tops before being pregnant and I think I will go back to hiding in baggy ones once baby is here. Someone said the other day about how they thought their belly would look like a cowpat post birth... That's pretty much what I'm expecting!! At least it will be winter so we can all get away with layering for a while!

MoN if your dates are correct then you will actually be due the same day as me (12th). I wonder who will meet their baby first! I really don't think mine is going to hang about until 39 weeks, I just have this feeling she's going to come early.

thanks for all your support ladies xx

bridget I would pay a lot of money for a bottle of oxytocin right now, to pour it down his throat.

hayle I think it is a generation thing... DP's mum is upset and deeply disturbed at the thought of not being involved in choosing the name (we haven't revealed our name to anyone in RL, only here). She is also super opinionated about it - suggesting family names we should choose or commenting on other people's names. We've had three babies in the family this summer called Skye, Reggie and Elsie and she keeps telling us how much she hates all of them. I wonder how she will react to ours...!

I've felt the same heffa This will be my 5th caesarean so I'm doubting my wombs ability to hold on until my section date. Also all the stories I've read about women who's babies have had the same heart defect as mine have gone into labour at least 4 weeks early. I asked the hospital if there was a known link between the defect and premature labour and they said that as the defect is relatively rare there's not been enough investigation done to prove a link.

Sympathies, clapham. I wonder if when you do have to do the school run if getting the 319 to tooting bec would work out just as quick? Def saves a lot of pain for the last week.

Hayley Old people say the rudest things, try and take it with a pinch of salt as I'm sure you look just lovely.

Falcon how are things today? Have you been released?

mon great with a date now! So exciting that after next week we will def begin getting announcements.

Wonder how little Josie is doing...?

Clapham - I could have written your post about my DH on Wednesday. I suggested we watched the Midwives programme together on iPlayer as it was a really good way to show the difference between intervention/natural etc...
Let's just say I felt like ripping the phone out of his hand and making him eat it by the end of the programme - he'd paid such little attention.
And it was like the lid off a whole can of worms was lifted.
I ended up sobbing for a couple of hours and all my frustrations at his ostriching about the pregnancy were unleashed .
I have to aknowledge, he's been in a new job and working all hours to build up some kind of financial security for us during my maternity leave. I've also been off, being the summer holidays, so it has only been practical for me to buy in the baby stuff/prepare the nursery etc, etc. But it has left me feeling like I'm doing it all alone. We have had no shared experiences about this baby since the 20 week scan - no antenatal classes (I had to go alone as they were during his working hours), no shopping for a buggy (we've been given one), he's not come to any appointments etc, etc.
We have talked about labour and birth - but the problem is that I have so much more knowledge than him (used to be a nurse in a maternity unit) and he didn't understand that I don't want to teach him about it, or be the senior partner about these decisions - that I needed him to find out what merconium is/means, or epidurals, cord cutting etc and form his own ideas so we can plan together.

I think it was one of the hardest, most emotional confrontations we've ever had. He felt I was saying he didn't care, which I know is not true - it's just that he's kind of waiting for it to happen and then dealing with it. He didn't realise that for me - this is already happening, I guess.

He was still really depressed about it, yesterday.

Thanks tarlia I know I'm big, I was a size 16 before falling pg (was a size 10/12 with dd) but tbh I'm ok with it. I don't let myself get down about stuff like that because feeling like that about it doesn't make a difference iyswim? Similar to stressing about a situation. Being stresses doesn't solve the problem just adds to it. Action makes the difference and I'm ok with the fact I won't be dieting until after Christmas.

To say I slept really well, just one toilet trip, I feel quite drained and a little emotional.

shire I think it's ok to go off once in a while tbh. Dh felt my wrath the other day about helping me at home by cleaning up after himself. My hips are really aching and I still have dd at home until Monday.

Shire please don't think your DH's approach says anything about how he'll be as a father. My DP was/is very similar but is a very involved and committed dad.

It's definitely hard feeling you're doing all the pregnancy work and planning alone though..

well, the pram is all boxed up again and going back haha!! there were bits missing and the brakes are faulty. its a shame cos it gets lots of good reviews etc but mothercare have been very good and are collecting it on tues and will re deliver a new one asap. oh well, good job I've still got 4 weeks left!!

shire DP didn't read books this or last time either. I think some men just feel that labour will be happening to mum, so trust that she can make decisions about 'all that stuff' as its not his body. You just need to know that he knows your labour plan in and out, and the most important things that you do or don't want. Mine for example was didn't want drugs if possible and wanted him to tell me baby sex. It's a shame he hasn't been involved in the shopping - do you have any time this weekend to pop to Next or MC etc so he can pick a special outfit/comforter for baby. It's probably feeling a bit surreal for him.