March 2014 - thread 3....Boy can we chat!

[Souredstoneshasasouredpebble]

thread 2

I'm 10 weeks today.

Mtb I was grinning like a madwoman throughout the whole thing. Filling in all the forms and making plans just made it seem so much more real, even more so than the early scan. How far along are you?

coolhand I was thinking about the pillow thing, I did the same just used an old one between my knees., but the proper ones are amazing to bf with, if you are thinking of boob feeding, so they do have a longer use, may treat myself this time round, I had twinges of SPD in my last 2 pgs, think the proper pillows help with that too

greymoose I think it depends on the hosp

some MW are trained to do doctor level stuff, and I suppose evey MLU has a linked consultant, think if you know for sure what you do/don't want to happen (within reason, as it never goes to plan ) your MW will guide you

What are tickets??? Am I being really thick??

tickers are shiny flashing smileys and repeated things I think? can be seen on Nethuns and the like?

Hi everyone, slight change of subject, but is anyone worried about handing over to a maternity cover person at work? Have slogged my guts out to get to senior position, but my organisation is only 10 years old, not that many people have gone on maternity leave before, and things move so quickly that I'm worried that if I'm not there for 9 months, all my hard work will be undone and I'll feel like an alien when I go back! All a bit irrational. But is anyone else in a similar position or have any advice?

I second the curly C pillows recommendation - you can tuck them between knees or under bump to sleep, they are great for feeding and also good for curling around baby when they first start sitting up unaided and occasionally fall back! And very comfy for putting behind your shoulders too if reading in bed.

I think with the different units it largely depends on your hospital but at mine, if you want more pain relief you go across to the labour/consultant ward. The midwife led units are meant to be a "home from home" according to my mw - the same (generally low-risk) women can use them to give birth, I think you can have gas and air though. Think bean bags, pools, tranquil lighting and music and a stupid name like "Serenity"! Most hospitals do tours - you could ask?

Midwife led units are just that, led by midwives, you will not see a doctor at any point throughout your labour unless there was an emergency and it is connected to the main hospital for the, to attend in such an emergency.

Pain relief options normally include: water, gas and air, pethidine.

Consultant led units are that, led by doctors, midwives care for you but doctors are available if needed, ie for forceps, ventouse, c/s, epidural. If you are on a consultant led hit you can still have a low risk birth but you will more than likely end up on a CTG monitor, if you are induced you will be here aswell and if you are classed as 'high risk' however you do have a choice in all matters of your care even if it is 'recommended' you do something there is no person who can force you to do anything you don't want to do.

Some MLU are connected to a hospital consultant led unit which means if in labour you wanted an epidural or there was a problem you can be transferred, some are stand alone so transfer would be via ambulance.

Hope this helps,

Oh and of course there is home birth which is my choice :)

Pirates - so reassuring that you think Kings is fantastic - why do you think that? Tell me more! What do you get to see on the tours?!

Thought i'd also update on the two main questions - weight and who we're telling - 1) I'm getting way fatter. Look mega chunky. Don't fit into clothes. Feel disgusting. But that's mostly because I am eating almost 3 times as much as I would normally, and I have no idea why. Ate a whole giant packet of crisps in the car on the way to a friend's for dinner. No need at all. Hate myself. But still love eating. I'm a freak. 2) I've told 3 best friends, parents, PIL and SIL - my poor SIL had a miscarriage at 5 months last autumn, but is now carrying twins, also due in March I think, so we had a massive over-share moment of excitement. Really hoping it goes well for her too though. She and my bro have been TTC for years, then had the horrific miscarriage, then were unsuccessful with IVF, but it now looks like it's all going to be alright. My mum is super-excited at thought of 3 new grandchildren. Already talking about a 'triple christening' - bit worried she's counting her eggs...

Oh and most MLU will let you stay on the birth centre until going home so you may not even have to go on a postnatal ward.

pram i was measuring 9+2 ( i thought was 9+5 from lmp) when i saw heartbeat but saw that little bit of blood today nothin when i wipe just a little in my knickers do you think i should be alarmed x

Wow you lot can talk!

Had my early scan this evening. Perfect :). Hearing the heartbeat just made everything feel so much more real/secure/worth it. I know it's still early days but I'm really glad we didn't wait until 12 weeks.

overly yes! Glad I'm not the only person feeling like this. I just envisage someone coming in and completely messing up all my hard work. I am a workaholic though. Sure I won't care so much when there's a little baby to occupy me.

Hope everyone else is okay :)

Hi,
I think I may struggle to keep up with the volume of posts here but well done to the lady giving up cigarettes: I can't imagine trying to deal with that as well as the general feeling grotty so you have my great respect.

In response to some topics that have come up since I was last here:

• I've also struggled with the enormous pregnacare tablets plus sickness so have now got some small folic acid-only ones, which was what I wanted in the first place but couldn't find in my local tesco. I have very pale skin so I think vitamin D deficiency in the summer is unlikely.
• In terms of clothes, although I'm generally very slim, I have always had a bit of a pot belly. However I think I might be filling out a little bit lower down than the normal pot belly. All my non-work clothes are quite baggy so that may be useful.

And a question for everyone: it seems generally accepted that 12 weeks/post scan is the time to tell all and sundry, but have other people told close family eg parents before then and, if so, when?

Even if I don't end up posting very much I do find it helpful to read everyone's experiences, so thank you :)

Gawjus, you really ought not to worry with a bit of spotting and no cramps and having seen a heartbeat at 9+2. I'm a huge hypocrite, of course, because I am constantly fearing the worst. This thread is great for being able to reassure others in a way we find almost impossible to do for ourselves. So I will tell you: you have nothing to fear

Imeg, I've told everyone except facecrack friends, but that is largely because everyone who I love knew I was going abroad for IVF and were praying for us. Last year, at 10 weeks, I announced it on facecrack and then miscarried at eleven weeks

Hi Imeg

we told our parents at about 5weeks; as we will need their help with childcare should anything feck up.
We were planning not to tell anyone til 12 weeks but I felt very insulated, like I was getting no fuss! It would be a real struggle to hide it though, in summer clothes, it's not like you can wear a big coat
I am considering telling my sibs next week as will probably puke on them when I see them anyway. Work will probably guess now Im so nauseous too; but hoping the work will distract me, and obviously will be less foodie smells
My heart goes out to those working in catering [bleurgh]

Evening all.

Midwife led v consultant led units:
I experienced both sides with DS. I started in the MLU, went in the pool, gas and air, all looking good. Got to fully dilated, and things went a bit awry. Don't want to give TMI. But the MW broke my waters, there was meconium (baby poo) in the waters which can be a sign that the baby is distressed. I was walked across the corridor to the CLU. After several hours, a lot of deliberating between MWs and docs, an epidural and (another) shift change I had an ECMS.

The MLU is more touchy feely, cushions, soft lighting etc and the CLU feels more like a hospital, more bleeps and flashing machines and a smell of disinfectant.

Do a tour. You'll probably want the MLU (I certainly did!) However, for me both sides did their job exactly as they should have done. If you end up having intervention or a CS it is not a failure or something to be scared of, by that point it is all about getting the baby out safely.

Also, I recommend doing an antenatal course at your hospital if they offer it. Helps you to be familiar with the hospital site if nothing else.

HTH

overlyemotional I've sent you a PM about our hossie!

good words, icenoslice

I was induced +11 days over with dd, was totally unprepared, had no understanding of inductions... also had meconium so suddenly everything got a bit serious, but dd was fine, they ruined me though; so has elective csec with ds, much calmer and was lovely experience

Know your stuff - do research of all the possibles eg forceps.. venteuse.. as you may say you don't want them, but they may overrule you/ you're too out of it to be asked, the consultant will make a fast decision
If you need an induction, research what to expect, and what the gamble is if you wait longer for natural labour
have a birth plan, but be prepared mentally for it to deviate wildly
look at how to recover from stitches in your foof, and stock up at home with stuff that will help..
it's all of the little comforts that can make a difference, eg luxurious shampoo, new pyjamas, plenty of food in at home and fresh sheets on the bed.

overly - sort of. I understand where you are coming from. I am just returning to work from my first mat leave and will only be back 6 months before taking another mat leave (fingers crossed for first scan next week!)

I think worry about all the hard work being for nothing is very natural. But on the other hand there is only so much that is in your control now. Before I went off last time, and for the next 6 months, my plan is simply to focus, be as efficient as possible and do my best. I know that people junior to me will be promoted over me and I accept that. But in the longer term I just want to maintain my position over the baby years and leave my options open as much as possible.

Try not to worry too much, things have a way of working themselves out.

Sorry Lumpy, I was only messing. Tickers are when you have "Mummy to Phoebus 2.10, Fabian 1.9 and Balthazar 6 months!" at the end of every post.

Thanks Grey, just got to figure out how to find you from my phone now. Technologically illiterate

I'm 7+3

Choc without wanting to seem like we're a little mutual appreciation society what you said is spot on.

Really important to be as informed as you can be. But also to be prepared for your birth plan to go out of the window!

Da-yum. Grey is a hottie!

Ice

Oh yeah I meant choice in aspects of what may be deemed high risk, you may not be given a choice in where you have your baby however you do have a choice about things like when you're induced, what monitoring you have etc

Forceps, ventouse, episiotomy and caesareans are done as necessary not as a planned thing, unless elective section but again only if needed.

Birth plans change as childbirth is unpredictable, but knowing what is most important to you is vital, ie skin to skin, breast feeding, delayed cord clamping, all these things can be done no matter the method of birth.

commsgirl glad I'm not alone and thanks so much for grounded, sound advice ice. Will definitely think about what you've said.

And please can I give a massive to Pirates who has written deeply thoughtful and helpful PM to give me the lowdown on our hospital.