October 2013 - wobbling and sweating through the last trimester

[roxvox]

Baby due dates/sexes/name choices here

MoN I think they can insist on knowing when leave will start, but the date can then be changed with 28 days notice.

From www.gov.uk/employers-paternity-pay-leave/notice-period

Statutory Paternity Leave
Employees must tell you at least 15 weeks before the week the baby is expected:

the baby?s due date
when they want their leave to start - they can change this with 28 days? notice
how much leave they want
Notice doesn?t have to be in writing unless you request it. Employees can use form SC3 to request leave and pay.

He's already told them that my section will be at 38 wks so around Oct 3rd. I don't imagine them doing it more than a couple of days either side of this so I don't really see the problem. If It was going to be a natural delivery they wouldn't have this degree of accuracy.

Slippy I am late October too so still a while to go for me but it makes it seem closer.

I just went out for half an hour to pick up some parcels and I am disgustingly hot and sweaty. Come home and stripped off completely. I am glad we don't have newborns in this heat. I don't imagine it is helping those of you feeling sick though. Keep drinking water!

They would have their 28 days notice but since he hadn't worked there long enough to qualify for paternity leave the rules wouldn't apply. They were granting the leave as a good will gesture and are now trying to retract the offer now they've realised they won't have anyone to do all the extra unpaid work that Dp is doing.

Not what you need at the moment, MoN. It might just be that the boss is fussing unnecessaryily, as often is the case when control freaks encounter things that are out of their control.
I would hope that as long as your DP keeps them informed (as he has been doing) and doesn't react emotionally to fuel the fuss/worry, when the time comes, his work will cope just fine.
(And if they don't, tough - you two have bigger priorities) x

Mon.......if ladies only have to give 4 weeks notice to go on maternity leave, I can't see why men can't give the same amount of notice before paternity leave

Ladies, how many of you have a tumble dryer who already have children? My nana wants to buy us one as her and my mum are saying that we will need one with a baby, dp is saying "Do we really need one, will we actually use it" so advice would be useful.

Thanks for the info about paternity leave, I'll have to remind DH to put the form in.

I've got my anti-D jab and midwife check in a little while, all is still pretty much ok but yesterday was a bad day for lower back and pelvic pain. I walked across our small town centre to change my library books and that was as much as I could cope with. It's much better today, so I'm hoping that was a one-off.

Baby is wiggling and squibbling around, but I'm not sure about counting the kicks because the anterior placenta still means that I'm not feeling anything as definite as kicking, just "movement." It's as if she's hiding behind a cushion so I can't see what she's up to! What have the other anterior placenta ladies been feeling recently? I'm 28+5.

Counting the days to mat leave - 8 weeks to go! With the days off I've got in there for NCT (Grrr - clearly pregnant ladies don't have to work for a living in their world) and for a friend's wedding, which will be fab, I've probably only got 7 weeks of actual work to do.

Gave my nipple a squeeze just to see, and stuff came out! Weird but strangely exciting, another reminder that there's a real baby on her way!

So good to catch up with all your stories, and and for all those who are struggling today.

Flyer we couldn't live without one now even with just the two of us! I suppose it depends if you have space to have washing hanging up to dry inside? I find it hard to keep up with the washing and find it really helps. We got a condenser one where you empty the water tank so we can have it anywhere in the house, there wasn't room in the kitchen and we didn't have to plumb it in. There will be so much to wash with a baby - multiple changes of clothes each day, sicky cloths etc, I would definitely say yes please!

We managed without one until DD was 2, and we did washable nappies. We had a spare room to hang clothes on a clothes horse. But we have one now and I can't imagine how we managed without!!

Sorry - that was to Flyer!!

Hey everyone, goodness this thread moves so fast, I've gone back a few pages but have no doubt missed loads! MON I can't believe your ohs employer, this isn't the first massive fuss they've made about him needing time off is it?

Its unbearably hot here, even inside the house I can't stand it, it reached 42 yesterday and I'm going down south on Saturday where it will be even hotter. I am just going to whale in the baby pool and refuse to leave it!

Had my first antenatal class today and it was horrible, I didn't understand anything. My Spanish deserts me when I'm stressed and the more I stressed about not understanding anything the less I understood. I the end I was fighting back tears. I don't have a clue what is going to happen to me and don't understand it when people tell me, for all I know I could have been advised I'm growing an alien and I'd have just nodded and smiled. Feeling really, really homesick and jealous of you all for having a clue what your doctors are saying!! I might try and order some antenatal DVDs or something...

On the positive note we are in the new house and I want to do some washing. I am ashamed to admit to getting to 26 without having a clue about the different types of washing powders etc. can anyone give me a crash course in bio/nonbio/fabric conditioner etc? What is least likely to irritate my baby if I wash his clothes now?!!

Thanks!

You are both right, dp is getting over ruled! I can't stand washing all over the house looking like a Chinese Laundry...I think it will be so useful with a baby.

Hopefully it will all be ok Shire and Wicked.His contract runs out in November so he's not too fussed and a project for young asylum seekers where he worked as part of his training have hinted that they might be able to offer him something. He already does some relief shifts there and enjoys it so much more than the mental health work .

I'd love a tumble dryer Flyer but our kitchen is tiny. The last few days of rainy weather have been a nightmare as it means carrying all the washing up to hang on the clothes horse in the second floor loo which I not really fit for right now. It takes ages to dry too unless I have the heating in in there but no way am I turning that on.

Good idea, Flyer - we bought a second hand one last winter, which meant we were able to reclaim loads of space in the house that had been used as near-permanent drying areas (not many dry days in Manchester ). Wouldn't be without one, now.

Umlauf they're going to be even less happy when he asks for time off for my growth scan in 3 wks and again the week after for the meeting with the cardiologist and tour of the sick kids hospital. Dp isn't prepared to miss these appointments. He feels awful that I was on my own when I received the diagnosis. Thank God I had all of you that day or I would have fallen apart.

MoN sorry they are making it more stressful but I am glad your DP has his priorities right.

Flyer we have had this one and it has worked well for nearly four years (and still fine) dishwasher if you don't have room in the kitchen for a plumbed in one. You just have to remember to empty the water which is easy and takes seconds.

Umlauf sorry it didn't go well. Hopefully there will be some more practical breathing/ doll based activities that don't need language next time.

Umlauf...... Ideally, you should use non bio for babies. Babies and young children are more likely to have an allergic reaction to biological powder. Choose a fabric softener that you like the smell of. Over here they do fairy for babies and a Persil for babies (picture of baby on bottle). You can do without softener if you want to, I just use it because I like the smell.

Oh gosh I'm about to do an aibu but I'm too scared to do it over there so it's coming in here...

Dp, ds and I live with my parents, through necessity. It's a nightmare a lot of the time. We go on holiday tomorrow in the uk, and we cannot get into the property until at least 3pm. We are leaving home at 1pm.

Parents are getting their bathroom done whilst we are away which is great. My mum just cheerfully informed me that the toilet is being taken out tomorrow morning so I'll "have to wee early". I'm afraid I went a bit mad at her - she knows how pregnant and uncomfortable I am, how much I'm drinking in this hot weather! We cannot leave any earlier as our cold food will spoil and the dogs and DS can't be in a boiling car all day.

I've had to come upstairs and be furious and cry on my own. I hate it here, and I have no idea what I'll do tomorrow - I doubt I can hover over a bucket any more :(
Sorry for the self pity!

Orange, how funny I have chosen a tumbler dryer just a bit ago and I've gone for a zanussi similar just different model it's the zdc47201w and gets great reviews, I remember someone telling me once go for zanussi or Bosch. We have a Bosch washer but the tumbler dryers are a bit pricey to ask for as a gift. It's going in my utility room but prefer a condenser as would have to cut the work tops to feed a tube up and outside. Thanks for the link and advice.

Pseudo you must have lots of tolerance it would do my head in living with parents too for you, chin up, do you think you'll be there for much longer? x

Back from my midwife appointment... Urine was all clear for protein, and blood pressure was normal, so no idea why I was having such a rough morning. Midwife pretty much shrugged and told me to take it easy and make sure I was eating regularly (I think I might have the opposite problem). Bump measurements all fine and baby is in the right position apparently!

Sorry to hear that MoN. I am pleased that DP is standing his ground though and that he has other potential options in the pipeline.

Umlauf I was told to use non-bio powder (I use Fairy) and then I also use Comfort softener. It's all lovely and soft now and smells so yummy.

Not ideal pseudo, but are there any public toilets nearby? I would probably inform my mother that she'll need to drive me to the nearest Tescos as and when I require a wee because I wouldn't be able to cope with that either!

I have a real urge to wash all the baby clothes now but nowhere to dry it. The clothes horse is still full of wet clothes that were put there last night and the washing basket is already overflowing.

MoN you must have to do washing everyday. We have loads and there is only 2 of us..You must be on the go constantly. It does my head in dp wears a pair of jeans once then shoves them in the washing basket, any need I ask! I currently have all my bedding in the garden, duvet cover draped over the French doors and pillow cases and sheets over the patio chairs.

Pseudo - we lived with my patents for 6 m

Sorry.... months while our new house out of Lonfon was being renovated. Nightmare.

Could you pack / get everything ready tonight and take yourself and DS out to somewhere "easy" with a toddler where they have loos for the morning? Options here would be library or museum plus cafe? I know your Mum should have thought, but I guess they are trying what with arranging the work for when you're away... Prob not worth a row over.