Thank you to whoever recommended 'Do Birth' - what a great simple, encouraging little book! I read it in an hour last weekend (instead of a nap) and it was so reassuring and comforting it was almost as good as having had a nap!! I have since been reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth which is also really useful and between them they make me so much more confident about the birth.
In a way having done it once already I can sort of look back at what I could have done differently, not that there was anything wrong with DS's labour/birth but I just didn't have any parameters of what I was supposed to be feeling, how long things would take, etc etc. Also he was so overdue I was kind of trying to beat the clock in a way, thinking that they would force an intervention I didn't want if I couldn't get it going.
The most fascinating part of the Ina May book is what she calls 'sphincter law'. She has loads of examples of labour stalling or not progressing due to some part physical, part psychological reason, and she wraps this up in the idea of being tense. There is some hippy stuff in there about the referred effect of tension even in the birth partner (husband's) body when he is supporting one mother. And there's one about a woman who was scared of tearing, which made her tense, which meant that the tissues around the birth canal/perineum weren't swelling up and engorging like they should naturally, which of course made it more likely she'd tear! The midwives then sort of gave her 'permission' to express this worry, and once she'd vocalised it she relaxed and the whole area got puffy and then could stretch much better.
But the really interesting bit about sphincter law is in her advice on making horse noises by blowing raspberries with your lips and also low humming - if you are relaxing your jaw/face etc to do that, you can't hold tension in your fanny at the same time, so it relaxes you down there!! Theres one story about a woman she suggested start to sing as contractions came on, and perhaps concentrating on the singing but also opening up the throat meant she went the last few cm of dilation without much drama. I've just got to a bit about birth partners shaking your thighs and bum for you, and the relaxing effect that can have... Hmm, yet to be convinced that some husbandly arse-wobbling will reduce the pain/tension of contractions!!
They've called the royal baby a combination of my DS and my name...! Squeee!!!!