Graduated elderberries - 30+ and looking forward to DC1! (Thread 5)

[Alexandra6]

Hi everyone, hope you had good wkends, I'm looking forward to my holiday next Saturday (although won't be the usual sunbathing with wine flowing!), still can't wait just to relax especially as I'm feeling a bit rough and sick today! Work are piling on the pressure ahead of my hols but who cares, in one week I will be off for two weeks woop!

Just wondered when the really preggers people started to get lightning crotch/cervix pangs? So I can be prepared and not go into cervix panic!

Brave - things obviously do change, massively. And I know it's early days... But... It's not as 'bad' as I expected. DP and I did manage a vaguely impromptu trip to the pub for lunch, and it was lovely. I've decided to go for a stroll and been out the house within three minutes. I'm not anywhere near as exhausted as I expected. So don't believe all the doom mongers!

No offence but I'd much rather be in the house with baby than heavily pregnant in this heat. Things will absolutely get better!

Oh and I've easily managed to shower, unrushed, every day so far - even on those days I've had no help. Fear not, you will shower again!

Aww Bear don't worry it's just the damn hormones and I second what Janey said, so far, having a newborn to look after isn't nearly as hard as everyone makes out.

More talk about my mat leave cover at work just now - someone who is a "meant to be amazing" - and it feels a bit weird!

Oh by the way, a friend of DH's was telling me a holiday with a newborn is apparently much easier (depending what you're doing) than a holiday with a toddler for anyone considering mat leave holidays! Then again the same guy has two toddlers and according to him, everything is harder with toddlers, they seem to be going through a rough time with it! Glad to hear positive newborn stories to balance out his doom and gloom!!

Thanks all... especially to Quod for reminding me of the Purple dogs vs the waters incident :)

I'll be fine. Just a total martyr to the hormones at the moment. Very encouraged that showering and most importantly pub trips are still achievable.

Was hoping at one point to have produced mini bear by the time we started the next thread (getting close! ) but at least it'll definitely come during the next one :)

X post Alex - I had that too at interview stage. Totally peed me off. However, now I'm off, I really can't give a monkeys. Plus one of my allies informed me last week that she really isn't all that and even pointed out some problems that have already arisen...

Just remember that they can't replace you full time so even if someone's 'amazing' it's still your job.

Thanks bear. The thing is, I'm not even sure about going back to work full time for a few reasons (travel time, childcare costs etc), so if they can't give me part time work that suits us both, I'll be unemployed for the first time in my life! Keep telling myself not to think about it for now, but then I find myself doing weird things. Like just now, I put the washing away, and usually I leave DH's socks in a pile as they are all black and I hate matching them up so he does it when he gets in. But I made myself just match up each and every one because I told myself I need to make myself useful if I'm not going to work! Then I got annoyed at myself for thinking like that!

I remember your mat leave stuff and am really glad she isn't all that

Oh bear I envisage me being in the same sorry place next week!!!! I think it's all normal and overwhelming!!! And frustrating when nothing happens. Are you booked in for a sweep or induction?
At the moment I'm panicking about forceps and ventouse. I don't want either of them as they scare the shit out of me!! Am I being silly?

Erm meant brave!!!!!!!

My only battle scars are hidden but very much present in the form of a slowly healing episiotomy. No stretch marks and very glad of it. What sort of wierdo actually wants them?

Brave I was still going to pieces during labour about not being ready and all of that stuff. It sounds like a cliché but all your gripes disappear the very second you hold your new baby. All of a sudden you can't imagine anything worse than leaving your baby to go to the pub although I am sure I'll manage eventually.

Hey ladies. Was thinking of you poor pregnant people in the heat today when I was melting even without a bump! Am lurking (on the fence between threads) as it gradually begins to feel more real (approximately 20 preg tests later...)
Can I ask some questions? Did any of you do anything to prevent stretch marks or was it just luck? I have a feeling they may hit me badly as I got a hell of a lot of them at age 12 when I had a growth spurt (height). Also (here's a dumb one for you) how hot is too hot for a bath? I like my baths v hot but out of fear am currently sitting in something horribly tepid
FX for those of you wanting some progress that it happens soon...

Hi merkin!! And massive massive congrats

Re stretch marks I thought I would get loads, as my mum did, and she had me at 24! But I've read that for once age is on our side, and you're less likely to get them if you're pregnant in your thirties than in your twenties. However to try to prevent them I made sure I drank lots of water (which I was doing deliberately due to being prefers anyway). From about 12 weeks onwards I applied bio oil followed by cocoa butter stretch mark cream each morning, and bio oil each evening religiously. And I have none three weeks post birth although the flesh there is still ridiculously wobbly

In terms of baths I was ridiculously worried about them so avoided them almost totally for the first 12 weeks. I think that was just me being paranoid though?!

Thank you... Runs off to amazon for bio oil and stretch mark cream!

Merkin - I didn't really do anything about stretch marks (lazy) apart from the very occasional smear of body butter if i was having a growth spurt and felt itchy and I haven't got any even though my bump was massive. I can't help but wonder if it just depends on how stretchy your skin is whether you slather yourself in bio oil or not.

That's what worries me purple. My legs and back are covered in them from age 12 and I would prefer not to add some round the front to match if I could avoid it!

Hi Merk, lovely to see you spending more time over here on the dark side.

I have a few old stretch marks from my teenage years on my inner thighs so I thought I was a dead cert to get some pregnancy ones but surprisingly didn't get any. I smothered the Bio Oil on from about 12 weeks and have no idea if that made any difference, but it smelled nice and I felt better that I was at least attempting prevention.

I always kept my bath water at about body temperature or just above (as baths cool quickly).

I've also not developed any stretch marks despite having some old ones on my hips. Maybe it's a berry thing???
I too put bio oil occasionally and body butter when I could be bothered.
Re baths I've also been worried so stuck to showers. Having said that I went to Iceland before I knew I was pg and spent about 2 hours in the blue lagoon which is very very hot. Baby doesn't seem to have cooked .
Girls please help me not panic. What's your views on forceps and ventouse??? I'm terrified of both
Brave any news???

lol I'm terrified of those too so not sure that's helpful! However two people told me they had to have them and it got to a stage of pushing where they just wanted it out so the help was appreciated. They said it wasn't as bad as they feared at all, so that made me feel better

On stretch marks, I think (and have been told) it's down to genes. Cream/bio oil can't hurt though. I'm thinking eating well has to help the new skin grow too (and lots of water) which you do in pregnancy anyway.

On baths, I haven't had one since my BFP! Just wouldn't enjoy it worrying about the temp and I like them hot. However loads of people have baths, just don't have it too hot, so it's just a warm/comfy temp.

Congrats too merkin I must have done about 20 tests too!! (DH would say more - I just couldn't believe it!)

I had forceps Lol and it was absolutely fine. There really is no need to worry.

I hope this doesn't come across wrong, but if you need intervention it's likely that your baby will be in some kind of distress and you will not care a jot how they get her out so long as she is safe.

Our baby's cord was trapped and heart rate kept slowing so it was important to get her out ASAP and everyone (including me) was keen to avoid a CS if possible.

Once the forceps were inserted she came out easily in one push and didn't have a single mark in her head or face.

I believe the only downside to forceps is that my pelvic floor is likely to be in a worse condition than it would otherwise be so I have to really crack on with the exercises as soon as all the pain has gone.

Honestly, when I think back to the birth the forceps don't even register on my radar.

Ah that is good to hear Cavort, I've always been scared of them too. The fact that the design if forceps hasn't really changed since medieval times (i saw a collection of 'forceps through the ages' at a museum once) rings alarm bells for me, but clearly they do a job! I know that for most women they are a welcome intervention and that they rarely do damage, I just find it hard to believe that medical science couldn't find an improvement on forceps if they put their minds to it.

Re the hot baths thing, I read that a bath is too hot if you have to ease yourself into it, and that you should monitor yourself when you are in and if you are feeling 'hot' then you are too hot. We only had a bath when I was in early pregnancy as the shower was broken so I had a lot of them and managed not to boil my baby!

Merkin I used Mama Mio stretch mark butter, but I have no idea if it made any difference. Have some stretch marks from my teenage years as well.

I like my baths boiling as well, was a bit more careful during first trimester, but otherwise carried on lobstering and also went to sauna quite a lot - if you start researching why they say not to have hot baths then there is actually very little evidence that the baths might cause any issues.

lol I had ventouse and it was also fine - baby's heart rate dropped when the head was almost out, so he needed a bit of assistance. No need to worry about that, honestly. No episitotomy, just a small tear that healed quickly.

That's so reassuring cavort and hazle about the medieval devices forceps and ventouse, it's something that was playing on my mind but I kept pushing it to the back!

Do you mind if I ask about what pain relief people had? I asked a friend with two children for her honest advice on birth options and she said she'd go VB but it sounded like a key thing was to be firm on pain relief and which type etc?

Morning all. No news here apart from stopped blubbing and clears throat proudly we DTD last night :)

Don't know if it's achieved anything (yet) but was lovely. Actual proper sex. I'd forgotten what it was like!

Thanks for the reassurance Cavort and Hazle, I had no idea. I think I'm starting to understand the labour mentality already... always said I'd refuse a sweep like the plague but would actually welcome one.

Not got one booked, but midwife said they'll check their system at term plus 7 and call me that day for an afternoon appt. She said they have a 24% success rate of starting labour within 24 hours.

After that, labour ward will call me at term plus 10 to book induction for term plus 12.

Fab to see you again Merkin!

Re baths, heard that if it's so hot that you're sweating, that's too hot. Big risk being fainting.

Bear - I had about a gazillion sweeps, they're honestly not bad at all, maybe it's more painful for some people but I honestly couldn't see what the fuss was about.