Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

I think I may vote for the phrase tummy time to be as ridiculously twee as 'gentle tug' in relation to forceps.

Gentle tug and forceps should never, ever be used in the same sentence...

Re: tummy time, they were banging on about it at my NCT class a couple of weeks ago. I thought it was something to do with them building the muscles in their neck or something, but I was wrong. Apparently, because of SIDS guidelines about laying a baby to sleep on their back, along with the amount of time babies spend in a pushchair/cot/carseat, lots of babies are getting flat heads. Whilst I think mostly these correct themselves, I think you're encouraged to put them on their front as much as possible when they are awake (and supervised) to minimise the time they're lying flat on their back. I think carrying a baby in a sling can help too....

Oh, and YES YES YES to tummy time sounding ridiculously twee. I might call it anti-flathead time.

I thought it was to do with neck muscles too, but anti-flathead sounds more apt. Am hoping to use a sling a lot too, though, so hopefully Baby Bear won't be too lopsided!

Seriously tho. 'Tummy time' - it's like somehting out of a Catherine Tate parody!

Hmm I guess I should be making the most of tummy time whilst I still can as I love reading in bed or on the sunlounger lying on my stomach & that's not going to be possible eventually. And yes my friends Lamaze one has a mirror to 'encourage tummy time according to the box'! I'm just going to ask her everything as she's basically 9m ahead & the kind of person who likes to know more than you & share it! Funnily enough she used to be quite coy about her body & bodily functions etc & wouldn't sunbathe topless on hols but is now happy to share all the gory details & get her boobs out to breast feed in front of me! Funny how it changes people.

I agree, frog. I really miss sleeping on my stomach. Or turning, without making a good beached whale impression.

Awww I really miss sleeping on my front I am unable to turn over in bed now without wanting to make a moaning/grunting noise to signify what a gargantuan effort it is and how much it hurts my SPD.

I had an 8am meeting this morning which lasted 2 hours and in which I experienced symptoms ranging from completely fine, to dizzy, to nauseous, had increasingly painful BH all the way through and back to fine again. I think I can safely say my body is ready to finish work.

Another good news labour story for us - my Cousin (who lives far away and I mainly keep in touch with via Facebook) was booked in for a 39 week induction this morning (for pre-eclampsia) but her body very kindly went into natural labour at 2am and 7lb10oz baby Stanley was born at 6am.

aww it's nice to hear about nice fast labours, for a change. Just had another colleague telling me how horrible life with a newborn is, no sleep, all the crying, oh you will be so tired, no freedom any more..did we mention no sleep?
I mean why? It's not a well-meaning warning or anything, bit too late to change my mind about having kids..

Yes why do people insist on telling you how bad it will be and how shit you will feel? If it was that bad nobody would ever do it more than once.

Hmm, I was just looking at my maternity notes as I couldn't remember when my next MW appointment was, and I noticed on the MW's comments from last week that it says baby's head is 4/5 engaged, which wasn't mentioned at the time and I didn't read the notes until now. I don't know what this means though? I just Googled and it seems to be an even split of people saying 4/5 means the MW can still feel 4/5 of the head so only 1/5 is in the pelvis, but there are also lots of people saying it's the other way round and 4/5 means nearly fully engaged, in which case OMFG PANIC PANIC PANIC!!! Does anybody know which one is correct?

Luckily I don't actually sleep on my front but on my side. My mother still maintains 37 years later that one of the worst things about being pg was not being able to sleep on her stomach!

Good to hear a good news labour. My best friend who I saw on Sunday was having contractions for quite a long time but managed to have a natural birth in the birthing pool & the actually pushing bit was quite quick. She said the pool was amazing.

Also not sure whether I'm breaking protocol or something here but I thought I should also let you know that Foody posted in our January 2014 thread that she has sadly miscarried. I think she was about 2.5 weeks ahead of me so would have been about 10 weeks I think. It was upsetting to see her post yesterday as although we've had quite a few on the thread & statistically there were always going to be some she was the first person I felt like I "knew". I was waiting to see if she posted anything on here as well but guessing she probably couldn't face multiple posts.

Thanks for letting us know Frog. It would be really awful to bump into her on another thread and assume she was still pg so it's definitely better to know. How terrible for her, mother nature really is a bitch sometimes.

I am booked in at the MLU and would like to give the pool a go as i've heard good things, but it all depends if someone else is in it. Apparently there are massive baths in all the en suites in the MLU and quite a few women have given birth in them when the pool hasn't been free.

cavort this page should know what they're talking about:
www.babycentre.co.uk/x543054/when-should-my-babys-head-engage-if-it-engages-early-will-i-give-birth-early-too

Says 4/5 is not engaged but it's normal to engage from around 36 weeks, so no need to panic either way.

Sorry to hear about Foody. Sadly those things happen more often than we think.

Sorry to hear that too

Don't panic about being 4/5 Cavort - I think they are supposed to say somewhere if it's palpable or engaged but hey - it's heading in the right direction so all good.

Just got back from my appt - mw thinks BabyBear is head down-ish, which is progress (but I know s/he'll flip back to the usual sideways position when I go to bed tonight!) but said not a problem til 36 weeks anyway.

All else fine, but there seems to be a question mark over whether or not they will scan again to check placenta. She called the ultrasound while I was there, but hasn't heard back yet. She'll text me later either way.

She said it's worth looking into NICE guidelines about what severity they will/not rescan for but I can't find any evidence anywhere as yet - only that if it's near the internal os, not covering and is asymptomatic then a rescan would be at 36 weeks and if it is covering at 20 weeks that rescan is at 32 weeks.

Potentially great news that they're confident all is well... but if that has been the case from day one, then I wouldn't have needed to cancel holiday, could have gone to yoga...

Im a tummy sleeper, still comfy at the mo although I can feel bubs squirming at times.

Sad news about foody!

I am really sad to hear about Foody. Hope she is getting well looked after and all the support she needs.

So sorry to hear about Foody, I'm glad you let us know Frog.

Poor foody, thanks for telling us. It's the most awful thing to go through, hope she's doing ok....

Ooh Janey I just remembered I forgot to tell you - took your advice re the airline who were ignoring DP's cancelled flight compensation claim, and threatened them with small claims court, and it worked - DP got compensated for all 5 of them on his flight back from Japan. So thanks for that.

Brilliant quod! Am so glad. I love taking on the big boys and winning!!

Quite a scary article. "The study of more than 1,400 mothers and fathers also showed that nearly a quarter have split up from the partner with whom they had their first child."

In other news, DH says I am breathing like Darth Vader.

Ok I think I've done my last Tae Bo. Dance aerobics was still fine, but for Tae Bo, you need to be fast and light on your feet, and I'm most certainly not any more. Also teaching the last Bodypump this evening.

I think the baby is engaging - it's lower, easier to breathe, but if I though I needed to pee all the time before, it was nothing. Now I really feel like I should just take the laptop to the ladies room. 3 more weeks Or so. I really hope it's not 5, I miss being able to put socks on without huffing and puffing like I'm climbing the Everest.

I'm really conscious of this Cavort as DP split up with ex within a year (if not even less) of his son being born. I get the impression that they were rocky beforehand though. His side of the story is that basically she & her mum centred everything round the baby & excluded him though obviously there is more to it than that. He was working away a lot too.

On the plus side when we talked before TTC he was adamant that there was no way he could be a part-time dad again so he is very committed to making it work this time.

Respect Hazle not sure I could do Tae Bo in a non-pg state! Can't wait to get back to the gym once I've shaken off this virus which has meant I've had a cough, sore throat & been breathless for 3 weeks!

cavort that is a scary article. Oddly I was worrying about precisely that thing at 5am this morning, wondering how having a baby and no sleep might affect everything....

hazle I think I might have to stop reading your posts . I feel ashamed about how lazy and unfit I have become in comparison to you!

In other news, been up since 5am. Roof leaking again. I had a massive row with the builder yesterday so DP is furious with him, and massively frustrated with the delays to the whole project (which will allegedly be finished tomorrow, two weeks later than promised). I'm not bothered, I won the row and got them to do what I wanted, plus the builder called back and apologised, and has offered to paint all the masonry on the front of our house for free by way of an apology. Plus whilst the delays are frustrating, I'm oddly not concerned in the slightest about any of it. It is what it is. It might be finished, it might not. Either way the baby will come back to a home that's hopefully waterproof and warm, and won't notice if everywhere is decorated and perfect. In the big picture, it just doesn't matter.

Not sure where this blase attitude has come from. I'm oddly feeling the same about childbirth - natural or cs, it is what it is, and will happen when it happens. Strangely don't feel nervous about it all. What's wrong with me?!!

If I was wearing a cap Janey I'd doff it you and your laidback attitude - good for you

Definitely a scary article that one, but, like Frog I feel we're going in with our eyes open. DP split from DSS's mum when DSS was just over 1, but things are very different now. He actually wants a family this time around (was 'duped' previously) and he has 11 years of life experience under his belt.

We always knew we both wanted children when we got together, and knew that we didn't want to 'waste time' with anything less, so we're pretty determined to make it work. Doesn't mean to say I don't worry about it, though...

In other news, heard back from midwife last night. Contrary to what I've been told by two other midwives and the vague sonographer, I will not need to be rescanned for my low placenta after all. It was 8mm away from internal os at 20 weeks, and apparently they only rescan if it totally covers it.

By implication, this means that there was never any risk, I shouldn't have been banned from yoga etc and I shouldn't have been banned from fying. And the 10 weeks of worry I've had has all been completely pointless.

Obviously, this is good news. But part of me feels very raw about being given some very shit information that has made massive changes to my quality of life. Pathetically, I cried for hours last night (being skint and pregnant has been catching up with me, too).

I should be happy, and obviously I am, but I can't help feeling a little bit down. God I'm such a spoilt brat

Oh brave you're not at all. That's totally shit that you were given duff info, and as you say, have not only had loads of worry, but also changed the way you live your live. Idiots!!

Not surprised you cried. Until I adopted this bloody weird recent personality transplant laidback attitude, stuff had really started getting on top of me too - and I haven't had any of the stress that you have. I was crying at the drop of a hat for absolutely no reason, so am not surprised at all you are feeling down.