Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

Oh and good work mini monster!

alex i read on here yesterday about someone who had to have an unplanned c section as the baby was in a funny position for delivery. It was apparently a tricky op as somehow the baby had, during the course of labour, managed to put it's hand through her cervix and was merrily trying to shake hands with anyone who examined her internally. So strange!

I was a bit I can tell you! Fortunately, there were no pictures.

I've had lightning crotch every so often for a good few weeks, maybe circa week 22 or so? But tis very occasional.

I had a perianal abscess in early pregnancy - ie sort of 7 o'clock from lady opening and 11 o'clock from a-hole. I've got a weird scar now, which a consultant OB has apparently signed off as 'not a problem' despite not seeing me!

Not a massive drama (and obviously not visible) but would love to avoid episiotomy and tearing if possible...

Great news on your check up Mother. I echo what others have said, it's a wonderful sound.

Hazle I have attempted perineal massage once so far. I tried it in the shower so I could wash the oil straight off. I felt quite stupid doing it but I will persevere if it's for the greater good. I'm steering well clear of any scary-looking training devices though. And I'm so pleased I can reach myself and haven't had to ask DH for assistance!

Janey I have already bought a couple of stretchy bras like that to sleep in now after my disturbing one nipple leakage incidents. They are indeed very comfy and should do for the days after the birth.

Symptom-wise, I am also suffering with heartburn but it's not been too bad and seems to be sorted by Gaviscon so far, although i'm sure the worst is yet to come. I have SPD which is also not too bad unless I overdo it in which case it gets really sore for a few days. I've had cramp in the night a couple of times but my loo trips in the night are rarely more than once and sometimes not at all. I haven't had actual nosebleeds but there is blood in the tissue every time I blow. Purple I am also unexplainedly dribbling all over the pillow when asleep - WTF's that all about?? Without doubt, my worst current symptom is bladder leakage sometimes when I do a big sneeze or similar. It's only happened a few times but I have to remember to keep my knees together before I sneeze of cough now. I've been shit hot on doing the kegels so I assume it's hormones and i'm keeping my legs fingers crossed it goes away after the birth.

Oh, and as for this iodine deficiency thing, surely there are too many genetic factors for a study to work properly? Intelligent parents are likely to have intelligent babies so unless every mother in the study had the same IQ I don't see how a 3% difference is conclusive at all. The same with Omega 3. I'm not saying these things don't make a difference but there is too much natural variation in the parents intellect for a proper study.

Personally I hope our baby gets DH's intelligence and my common sense!

Pleased to hear about your check up Mother, it's lovely hearing the heartbeat. For what it's worth, my Midwife says the different rhythyms/speed for different genders is nonsense but then she's a very no nonsense kind of lady and it's always fun to speculate!

oh the gender predictions reminded me - saw friend's mum who has had both a boy and a girl and she took one look at my belly and exlaimed: "Oh, it's a boy!" Apparently if your bump is high and round it's a boy and for girls, the bumps are lower and more wide. I certainly look like I've stuffed a beach ball up my shirt, it's very high and round at the moment.

I can't imagine though that gender could make a difference there. Unless boy babies are behaving like men later and sit there with their legs akimbo, taking up all possible surrounding space?

I hope the baby gets my academic intelligence and DH's social intelligence. I'll keep eating tons of cheese though just in case, yum

Cross post hazle I've heard that one too
at baby boys sitting legs akimbo!

Lol - apparently, I have a girl bump because I have a huge fat arse and my boobs have grown massively.

Had written a rant about the iodine thing and how ridiculous it is, but the universe took it away lol.

Suffice to say, it's almost impossible from that table to get enough iodine by diet alone, and how ridiculous it is to then say 'oh but don't go supplementing with other foods because you'll have too much salt or will break some other vitamin rule'.

Bah humbug.

Had a wobble last night about Horlicks as I saw on the side of the packet that it has Vitamin A in it... aaaarghhh!

After a quick google, I found as many sources claiming the exact opposite, that carried low means a boy and high - a girl. According to some more serious sources, how high the bump is just depends on your muscle tone.

brave I have the huge fat arse but not the bigger boobs, what does that mean then?

Oh hang on, actually I have always had a fat arse

It means it's all a load of old hooey and they don't really know from looking at you, just like they don't really know by what you're craving, or how sick you've been. I did a poll before my 20 week scan and asked people what gender they predicted and why and wrote it all down. Unsurprisingly, the amount that were correct? almost exactly half!

Anyway, no worries about the iodine for us 3rd tri ladies since we're having summer babies which according to another stupid completely unfounded piece of tenuous research are all going to be thick less academically successful anyway

Well my iodine must be good as I'm a vegetarian who eats fish which means I eat lots of dairy & fish! I will of course be anaemic instead so take your pick! I remember 2 women in my work once due exactly the same time with totally different shapes so everyone came out with all that & both had boys!
Pah to summer born thick children too - I'm an Aug baby & got 3 grade a at a level & have a degree & post grad qualification.

Lol - thanks for that reminder Purple! Tho I would point out that in my highly successful family down south, they have four children, one born September, one July, one August and one June. They are all exceptionally bright and academically skilled, and three out of the four have successfully reached grammar school thus far (the fourth is only 6!). So there are always exceptions.

Cavort I think I had a boob leakage last night - woke up after a nightmare (accompanied by huge ouchy kick right on my belly button) and rolled over only to find that I had a sticky trail all along the inside of one of my arms that had been next to the offending boob

May look into those stretchy bras tbh... not used to having boobs that get in the way when you're trying to get comfy of a night!

I'm not sure if I should be, but I'm literally overcome with jealousy about you all having fully functioning boobs. Mine are shit. Massive and shit.

Mine seem to be shit as well Janey and mine are small and shit! Since I smugly said they seemed to be working a few weeks ago, there's been no sign of life from the useless lumps since. I've poked them a few times but nothing. We can't really add useless boobs to the bingo card as it's a lack of symptoms really isn't it!

So I had my booking in appt this morning which made it all feel a bit more real. Someone please tell me though that the nausea/exhaustion is going to ease off soon please? I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, fell asleep yesterday in a meeting and today (luckily working from home some of the day) I have found it really hard to get anything done and now having a hard time not boaking on public transport. It feels like I'm dragging myself from place to place. Is it all the new blood? And more importantly when will it stop? I've become so boring.

quod I want to tell you it gets better but I'm sooo tired (13 weeks tomorrow woop!) Someone told me you get your energy back in second trimester and feel like superwoman but I think it's a bit of a lottery as there's another thread about second trimester fatigue going on now! I'm like a zombie at the moment. Still ridiculously emotional, just cried in waitrose because I realised how happy I am with how my life's going and sent DH an unbelievably soppy text. WTF?! Really need to get my shit together! Congrats on booking in, when's your scan booked in for?

Oh gawd. I nearly cried today when DP said 'don't worry, you won't feel like this forever' and I thought yes but after this comes the baby and then we'll be tired all the time for years and years! Aggh!

Scan is next Friday 31st.

Just imagine maternity leave though quod! Relaxing, watching films, maybe take the baby to a sensory class or go off for lunch now and again. I can't wait! Am I setting myself up for a real shock here?!

Quod I didn't get any sickness at all, but the tiredness did get better. I was most tired about 11-14 weeks, then felt normal again.

totally whacked all the bloody time now mind you

Alex loving your expectations of maternity leave. Clearly I know nothing, but to be honest, not one of my friends have described it as relaxing! More like the hardest thing they've ever done

Argh strike through fail

I have heard that it's tough janey BUT then a couple of people who I know on mat leave have recently said it's brilliant. I saw one the other day, she's four months in, and she looked so chilled! I asked her what it was like and if she's exhausted and she said her baby sleeps well, doesn't cry much, she absolutely loves it. She's not the type to lie so it wasn't all a front! Wonder if it's like every pregnancy being different? Some people have an easier time than others? I've heard people say if you're calm and chilled in pregnancy, it can pass on to the baby and I'm giving it a shot and trying to stop my anxiety - worth a try if not just for my sanity now!

I think some babies are def easier than others. Don't get me wrong, my friends all love being a mum - and have all done it more than once so can't be that bad! - but all also say it's the hardest thing they've ever done. Who knows, we'll find out soon enough!