Due in September 2006- part three...count down to summer!

[Coriander73]

New thread Bella...as promised!!!

Normsnockers, PMSL at you and DH's "larger than average" heads!! To be honest, the main factor pushing (ha ha) me towards elective c-section are the timing and childcare for DS1 (providing DS2 isn't early - DS1 was..), and having it all over in 30 mins. Also not having to labour through all night(s). Like you, my biggest fear is the emergency after a distressed birth. I have spoken now to several women who've had second elective c-sections, and they've all said the recovery was shorter the second time (probably because they hadn't laboured for many hours first), and that they would do it again.

I don't know about you, but I didn't have any feelings of guilt/regret at not having had DS1 naturally, like I know some women experience. And it definitely didn't affect bonding with DS1 - he was straight on the breast while I was being stitched up, and is a cuddly affectionate 2 year old now.

Can you tell I think I've persuaded myself too, with the odd waver here and there...

Compo, your DH sounds lovely, letting you have the bed to yourself. DH here suffers from hayfever, so was up fidgeting and rummaging about at 5.30 today with red eyes (mind you, we also had a huge thunderstorm then). Perhaps I'll try the sofa idea...

Clairemow, no, I had no guilt feelings whatsoever despite the consultant and first nidwife to approach my bedside on the post-natal ward trying to guilt-trip me.

They have no idea of dh and I's daily lives and how we thought it would be best to cut stress to a minimum so that we could enjoy our time more with ds as a newborn baby.

No problems with bonding and the pain factor was less than other abdominal surgery I've had.

My stomach was never lovely and flat anyway so comments about how c-section ladies have an overhang and natural birth ladies stand more chance of everything springing back into place, cut no ice with me !

They really will say anything to try and change your mind first time round !

Norms, it really makes me angry when they are so arrogant about what should be your choice. If an elective is going to make your whole family's life easier then that's got to be your choice. TBH, I don't envy you one bit as the idea of a cs terrifies me but then I know how lucky I was that my 1st labour was quick.

DS also has big head and has been on the 91st centile since birth. I was lucky in that he just used it to bolt out like a bullet rather than get stuck!

Well after my bath palaver last night, I then went and fainted in the street today. I felt really stupid and like a huge beached whale but I was just so grateful that DS was safely strapped in the pram and not walking beside me. What made me so angry was that nobody came to help me! It wasn't a busy street but there were people sat outside the pub opposite me and some others in their garden next door. I actually came round to DS shouting 'Mama' as I had sort of swung around the side of the pram. DH was livid when I told him this and started ranting on the phone about how selfish people are. I think he just felt guilty for not being there. Bless him.
BTW, I'm absolutely fine now apart from having some little dimples on my cheek where I fell on the stones.

Homemama, I can't believe no-one helped you! THat's outrageous!! Was it just the heat do you think? Make sure you take it easy the rest of the day...

I went to bed with ice packs on my feet last night in an attempt to ease the swelling and to cool me down We only have 1 fan and ended up giving it to ds to calm down his heat induced excema, his room was over 30c at midnight (when he woke up demanding juice)Sobbed my heart out yesterday cause I was just too hot and dh ended up lending me his air conditioned, turbo'd power steering car to get to work in, so this pg lark does have some perks (he's normally very protective of his precious car)

Mandaz, I'm also addicted to fabs (eating one now) and crunchy choc ices. Ds is allergic to egg and I keep telling him they have egg in them so I don't have to share

As for vbac, I'm really not that positive, but dh is convinced it's the right way to go. If I could be sure that a natural birth is going to work then it would be my first choice without a doubt, but I can't be sure, and the whole emergency side of things makes it a bad experience. My consultant at the hosp is useless(barely speaks english) and I'm finding myself wishing I had a 'better' proffessional to talk it through with.

Hope you are all coping a bit better today now that it's cooler x

that no one helped you homemama, that's disgusting. Hope you are ok now. Put your feet up and have plenty of fluids and sugar (tea and biscuits should do it

Thank you Clairemow and Calvemjoe.

It probably was the heat although we were only out for a few minutes. Having said that, I've fainted a couple of times in this pregnancy so maybe my BP is low. I should get it checked.

They probably thought I'd fallen over although they could have checked. Last time, I fainted in the hall and DH said I was only out for about 8-10seconds then I came round and started crying I cried today too, silly cow!

I don't see what difference it makes if you fall or faint - you should still help someone (esp. a pregnant lady) back to her feet. And I would have cried too, from the pebble marks and also from the shock and hurt pride. Take care.

poor you Homemama - definitely worth getting your bp checked out. Does your midwife do it at every apointment like they do here?

How horrid, fainting like that homemama and shame on all those people who didn't help you.

Could you get your midwife to check your blood pressure ?

Am seeing midwife this week and am looking forward to hearing the heartbeat but the amount and force of ds2's movement is amazing and quite reassuring.

Homemama - am totally shocked that no-one helped you - that is just awful, your poor DS as well, he must have been really frightened.

Is anyone ese having really problems getting their toddlers to bed in this heat? DS is normally in bed at 7 no problems, but the past 2 nights he's been up crying and sweating and we've had to bring him downstairs with us til 8.40pm last night and 9.30pm the night before.

sorry excuse my grammer on that last post - it's the heat....

Homemama....feel really pissed off for you! Grrrrrrrrr....hope you are OK now though. I've just had an altercation with a woman in the local co-op - just got back from seeing physio at hospital who didn't actually tell me anything new than the osteopath already has (oh, other than I have a bit of pubis symphasitis which can be more comman second time aorund as everything is already relaxed..don't know how true that is). Got to the checkout bit & was undecided which queque to join - all for about 10 seconds, when I chose the left one. At this stage the woman who was coming up behind me said in a stroppy voice "oh, have you changed your alligence?"...I was so stunned (& bear in mind I'm hot, bothered & not in the best mood after hospital) that I just stared at her for a minute then said I hadn't made up my mind but as there was no-one else here I didn't think it was a problem. She wasn't satisified & said I should have stayed in the other queque blah blah when I did put my basket down & said I was standing here (imagine my arms waving about like some maniac) & now I'm here! I really don't see what your probelm is....at which point she said "oh suppose you are right". The point is I've come away now thinking maybe I was in the wrong, that I missed her standing there all the time & perhaps if it's been winter & I wasn't pg it I wouldn't have reacted at all but I know I don't jump the queque (not very English is it?!!) but damn it...she really annoyed me!!!!!!!

Mabel, DD took ages to go off last night. Started off in summer grobag, then I decided that was a bad decision so took it off then off came her pjs & just left her nappy on because all we could hear downstairs (other than counting 1,2,1,2...!!) was HOT HOT HOT every two seconds!!! So we left it off until she woke about 2am then put it on again & she slept OK. Don't know about you but it took me ages to go off last night too...I was in the nude (poor DH just had to lie there & look ...but err..not touch!!) with the fan on me whilst he had pants on with the bloody DUVET....yes the DUVET...(:o)I just couldn't even bear feeling it an inch near me.

Re VBAC..hmm...I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried that I'd go through labour again only to have a emergency section again. However, something keeps driving me on to really go for it. I was one of those sad ladies who did feel a bit let down that I'd hadn't managed a natural delivery last time so perhaps there is a lot of me that just has to try.....on the other side, I have been told that if it's elective it's not as dramatic as an emerg & the recovery is quicker etc etc etc...oh well each to their own I say!! Norm,sounds like you've made your mind up girl! Just go for it...:o I could be change my mind when I see the consultant at 34 weeks!!!!

Puppy...now they look scrummy....might have to order some!!!!!!! :o :o :o

Gosh, I've ranted on a bit...sorry girls.....

Oh dear Cori - the heat and supermarkets and pedantic ladies (not you, the other one) don't go well together. bet she felt guilty after about giving a pregnant woman a hard time! Hope so anyway.

Mabel, DS has been going to sleep ok at night, but waking up around 11-12 really sweaty and needing a drink - I've started leaving an avent cup of water by his pillow, and that seems to be making it better for him. He drank the whole lot in the night yesterday. He's also been taking a while to settle at lunchtime nap - ususally goes down no fuss but the last few days has been making a big one and is all sweaty again. I feel really sorry for him, there's nothing I can do. He has skylights open, but not the main window, I'm too scared he'll climb on the windowsill and fall out...

Remember someone said about velux windows and light - could you pin a towel over the opening? - although I don't know how much air that would let in.

I am shocked and so is DH that no-one came to help you homemama, makes me so - if any of those people had fainted I bet they'd have wanted someone to help them! grrrrr! I fell in the garden the other day and cried too - just shocked and hurt pride really along with the cuts and scrapes, it's just not the sort of thing anyone likes to happen is it?

We're putting DS to bed with just a nappy at 7.30 then adding a vest when we go to bed around 11ish. Seems to be working - might try the leaving water within reach though, sounds like a good plan.

Bought the P&Ts E3 today, got a red one - I know that's probably the most popular colour but hey, it'spractical and cheerful! Also got the lady in the shop to sell me a creatis in last season's colour (navy blue) for £55!

Calvemjoe - I know it's a hard thing to do but you are entitled to second opinions on the NHS. Could you talk to your midwife about seeing a different doctor who you can understand better? I know from a patient's point of view it's pretty daunting but speaking as a health professional I've had patients asking for second opinions or a practioner who spoke teir first language better than I did (I worked in Wales) - it's just something you have to learn to deal with professionally. With something as important as having a baby I'd hope your midwife can understand your position.

homemama for you - what awful people and your poor DS - get your bp checked as soon as you can!

calvemjoe - lots of hugs at your sobbing - we have had tears on a number of occasions for no reason in the last couple of weeks

cori - what a horrid woman, and I do hope that she was so shamefully embarrased with her behaviour! however, i think it is the heat that's driving people a bit mad - i politely asked to "squeeze" by a woman on the bus so i could get to a spare seat, and she huffed, tuted and moved about an inch, and then huffed some more when i couldn't get through - at least she must have thought i was svelte and not whale like

clairemow that was me about the velux windows - will try that, and maybe get a fan to go outside the door - we are going to try it and measure the temperature over the next few weeks

it's been even hotter here today, but apparently going to cool a little tomorrow - can't wait for it to break even a little, although naughtily i am getting a bit of a tan which is great

Just finishing off some lemonade pie … Have been out for southern BBQ and fried chicken this weekend for MIL, who comes from New Mexico. She has been a tremendous help with DS.

Had the glucose test today for gestational diabetes (wish me luck; wasn’t fasting like I was supposed to), and my RhoGAM shot. Doctor gave me a prescription for postpartum antidepressant, so now I’m all set …just in case.

Normsnockers and clairemow, bonding-more-with-vaginal-birth was always a myth! And modern times are what they are; jobs can’t be helped; C-sections are safe; should not be any guilt involved in deciding for a second C-section against a VBAC. After all (as I tried to tell my sister who wanted a VBAC desperately but then had to have another C-section), why ruin two areas ? Over here the guilt trip is usually aimed toward those wanting VBAC, as it’s considered more risky. The bottom line is, there shouldn’t be guilt in either choice. And re: “overhang,” just grin and tell your mw there’s always plastic surgery! Calvemjoe, if you, like my sister, really feel the need for VBAC, then go for it. You will never know if you don’t try and if it is important to you, then that's all that matters.

Homemama, cannot BELIEVE your experience. I’m stunned. That is horrible, especially since you had a helpless little one next to you as well!! I would have definitely been crying too.

Ha, tears...yes plenty this evening as I shouted at DD & felt so so so so remorseful afterwords.

I put her to bed & all was well & then she started crying so left her a few mins then went up asked what was wrong & she said cuddle! So, how can I refuse! So give her a cuddle, tell her it's bedtime blah blah & go back downstairs again. She seems fine then over the course of 50 mins cried now & again which leads me to go back upstairs another three times but each time she seems fine once in her room blah blah (& she's only got a nappy on so I figure she can't be as hot as she was yesterday).

To cut a long story short, firmly tell her it's bedtime, all is well until 10 mins later she starts to cry & cry & cry..........anyhow, I'm hot, crabby & just feeling like a lump of lard (& thinking that she's just playing up) & that I really cannot be faffed to walk up the stairs AGAIN..but go up & shout "Just enough..time for bed now blah blah"...she looked so stunned, stopped crying & then just pointed to her mouth & said teeth!!! I said do they hurt, she said yes Mummy!! God, I tell you..I've never seen that look on her face & I felt so so terrible that once I'd sorted her out went downstairs waiting for DH to get home & just sobbed...... naturally DH saw the funny side & has teased me all evening for being a bad mother...NOT HELPFUL I say!!

Don't worry Coriander, you're not a bad mummy! We've all done it I'm sure and if not, WILL at some point! Think of it as a learning experience - she learned that if there's something wrong to try and tell you in words instead of crying :) Breakthrough moment!

Cori I know; I thought, well why didn't she just tell you? Have certainly had those moments with DS.

Manda, I'm now involved in a long-distance affidavit. Basically, volunteered to help defend my separated friend's credibility as a mother. With court reporter present, his & her lawyers will grill me on her and ex-H's relationship via conference call. So ... apparently could be much more complicated and ugly if your ex-H were involved with you and baby; am seeing it unfold here. Keep your chin up .

Homemama, hadn't of heard that stereotype, but do know Houstonians are pretty obsessed with their own hot summers!

Hiya all.
How's everyone coping in this heat? Horrendous or what? I'm now desperately hinting to dp that if we were in the States we'd have air conditioning
Hope everyone's well. Been too hot to go near the comp much here so sorry all.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) to all xxxx

Homemama am so angry for you - what is wrong with people?? The best thing that we can assume is that they didn't actually SEE what happened, but still grrrr.

Cori, what a stupid experience in the shop. I nearly fell over with surprise when someone from Tesco's offered to finish off my shopping, do the packing & then come out to the car to put it in the boot!! I was even hesitating to go shopping because was feeling really ropey but one of the young (female) assistants saw me hanging off the trolley & took pity on me. Amazed & very grateful .

Liquidclocks v pleased that you have satisfied your retail urges. For some reason mine have now disappeared ... I am sure they will come back with a vengeance soon enough!!

Morning all ladies.
Didn't post yesterday as it was just sooooo hot, could hardly stay upright. I had to have 2 cold baths last night just to get my temp down.
Me and my cats were just flopping on cold surfaces yesterday just trying to cool down!

Had a quick read and am shocked by your story Homemama of fainting and no-one helping. What is wrong with people!

Well DH spent the whole weekend painting the new nursery and we get new carpet fitted tomorrow so am getting very excited that its all becoming very real.
Now the room is ready I can feel a huge spend coming on - hoorah!!

Marls - sounds very stressful having to give evidence for your friend. Hope all goes well.

Best crack on with some work - maternity leave is still so far away although seem to be on slow down at the moment - very naughty!!

Hope you are all managing to keep cool

Thank goodness it's a bit cooler today.

Even the cat flopped down in front of the fan in the sitting room last night.

Dh and I are at war over opening windows. We have enormous sash windows which are hard work to open and close due to paint clogging and dodgy cords/weights etc.

He rants that as soon as I get home with ds in the evening I should open them at the front and back of the house to create a small breeze through the house and I agree, but it's very hard work and I don't like to leave the groundfloor front windows open when I go upstairs to give ds a bath/read stories/put him to bed and who knows if an opportunist thief would be in the neighbourhood and take advantage.

I leave them until he gets home later when he makes a fuss and opens them but I'm always the one who ends up huffing and puffing to shut them later when it's time for bed.

I resort to fans in ds's bedroom and the sitting room which do an O.K. job.

I know dh is irritable because of the heat but aren't we all !

Husbands eh, Can't live with them and it's illegal to shoot them !

Norm, frankly I worry that if I took away some of my husband's small pleasures in life, eg open windows full at front, half at back, with curtains covering openings, then perform 1 legged raindance in kitchen, he would never be the same man again in the morning.