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September 2013 Babies-the Glowing Trimester

999 replies

JammyTummy · 27/04/2013 18:48

New thread! May it bring lots of good news, funny stories and happy bump mummies!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
andadietcoke · 19/05/2013 18:55

Right Poonli I've been through three disciplinaries (not me, but as a senior manager/witness) recently so know all the legal ins and outs of what the employer has to do (it's really very very hard to sack someone).

If you've been there more than 12 months, and it sounds like you have, there are certain things they should have done/prove. With any disciplinary that is not down the instant dismissal route (basically malicious behaviour) before it gets to a hearing we have to have issued a notice of concern - this is often verbal initially, and then in writing as a second phase. There will be a time limit on this - I think it's 6 months - so he shouldn't be able to use anything from last year against you anyway. If you go down the disciplinary route (which you should because you haven't done anything wrong) they will have to prove (with documentation) that you haven't met the minimum standards required of you. Have you had a performance review or development review recently?

Please, please do not just leave. At the very least you might get reach a compromise agreement with them which generally means a payout. You can't legally just get rid of people any more, although I appreciate you probably won't want to work in that environment anyway. Call the citizens advice bureau - get something (anything) in writing from him that you can show them. You're entitled to representation at a disciplinary hearing as well by the way. He's just trying to scare you with the stories of suing people for £60k - what would he sue you for?!

He should also give you written formal notice of disciplinary processing starting, with a timeline - you're entitled to 72 hours notice before the hearing.

I think we have some HR professionals on here so I hope I haven't got anything wrong. We use an employment lawyer and we absolutely have to follow the letter of the law. As I said, it's really really hard to get rid of people unless they've been in massive breach of their contract or stealing or something - we recently had to go down a redundancy route rather than disciplinary for someone who was underperforming rather than going down the competency route where you have to give them time to improve/offer training/support etc - none of which I assume have been offered to you?

Definitely CAB as a first stop - I know our employees have used them to get advice about the process.

Good luck. If you have any specific questions I can try and answer them but I think the first step is to get him to put things in writing (we have to set out 'the case' against the employee, with evidence in the letter than informs them we're starting disciplinary proceedings against them). You can then take this to the CAB and go from there.

Readytosettle · 19/05/2013 19:21

poonli I know you've already resigned, but that doesn't mean you lose ur rights. It's constructive dismissal. Sounds like ur boss is trying to scare u from making a claim, but you are in a much stronger position than your male colleague as this is likely to involve a sex discrimination element- for which the compensation is 'uncapped' (unfair dismissal has a max financial exposure to ur company so they may have risked it before based on that. I agree with dietcoke's advice above, they haven't followed the proper process for performance issues & therefore have forced u into resigning. It's unfair & u should take this further to avoid it happening to anyone else in the future.

Good luck!

Readytosettle · 19/05/2013 19:27

Ps. Make sure you write everything down. Dates & times of any meetings/conversations, copies of any emails & letters. The more detailed your notes, the better. Any comments made (even off the cuff) will be relevant so keep a record of everything!

Breadrollsbuns · 19/05/2013 20:04

Place marker for 4th sept Grin

fl0b0t · 19/05/2013 20:42

kitten we had the sharing set price meal (v expensive) so I just had my steak medium. Was still beautiful but I would have preferred rare....
I wouldn't have been so grumpy about the paying had I not already stuck in almost £30 to cover my share of the (bloody expensive and not ordered by me) wine that I had one glass of.....

Baby has been going mental all weekend. I love feeling it move but I'm feeling a bit tired of it today. Kicked so hard I had tears in my eyes earlier. Ouchie.

fl0b0t · 19/05/2013 20:43

Also, when I go to bed I've noticed my pulse v strong and fast. Anyone else had that? I'm quite fit with Low blood pressure and a resting pulse of about 55bpm normally.

jennimoo · 19/05/2013 21:02

I'm not fit but my heart seems to race done of the time and I'm usually puffed out by the top of the stairs! I think heart rate is faster as we have do much more blood to pump but might have made that up!

Kitten - I got a cat net on free cycle last time. In the end I never used it! I'll probably give mine away soon, you're not local are you ? (South coast...)

juniper9 · 19/05/2013 21:13

flobot my pulse is frequently over 100 and when I walk it goes up to 145bpm. Also have low blood pressure and usually a slow pulse.

I was referred to a cardiologist who reckons it's pregnancy related and will return to normal post baby. Having tests done in a few weeks but hopefully it's just normal!

badguider · 19/05/2013 21:47

SHIT!!! I've just written a cheque for £75 to reserve my not yet even anywhere near being born son a place in nursery two days a week for March 2014!!!

Shock We've seen four of our five possible so far and two of them had no spaces till next summer and one we didn't like as much so we've gone for the one we like best of those with spaces. It's probably our second favourite overall. We can't see the fifth nursery until 27th.... so we thought we'd better pay the money in the meantime or risk that space going too! Shock

Readytosettle · 19/05/2013 22:24

Badguider we've started freaking out about nurseries now too. Looks like there might only be one that can cover the hours we need & they've told us we need to get a deposit in ASAP....it just feels so wrong booking a nursery place when we haven't even met the baby yet! Also, it's £1350 a month- scary stuff!!!

Kittenkatzen · 19/05/2013 22:24

Grin badguider you definitely get the planning ahead crown! Feel like you're having a baby yet?!

Fab thanks for the link juniper. And jenni that's a really kind offer but I'm in West Sussex so not local by the sounds of it Smile looks like they're pretty inexpensive anyway

Mmmm fl0 sounds yum (if annoyingly expensive). I've had weird pulse things happening too - not so much racing as just really really strong to the point where I can hear it in my ear! Most offputting. BP is fine though apparently so I've put it down as being due to the extra blood volume?

badguider · 19/05/2013 22:44

I guess so kitten but it's pretty weird to book nursery now... the form even had questions about allergies and vaccinations! - we had to write 'not known yet' all over it Grin

I haven't even bought a single 'baby' thing... but we have been sorting out our new campervan, nurseries and getting double glazing quotes so the house is warmer for the LO next winter...

ready £1350 a month is terrifying... I am so glad I set up my own business about 15 months ago so I can work just 2-3 days a week (MIL and DH covering the third day between them about 40wks a year)... For only two days a week we will be £390 a month... phew!

Wincher · 19/05/2013 23:04

Ah we paid our nursery deposit the day after the 12 week scan... do we win the planning ahead crown? We did the same for ds1 but still didn't get a place there till he was over 2! Were hoping this time with sibling priority he'll get a baby room place, but they seem to be in such short supply round here.

There is also a babies r us right next to the new kiddicare in Enfield, and that's where we tried out a load of prams before ds1 was born. I'd say it's definitely a good part of town for baby shopping. We barely need anything - a new Moses basket mattress, though ds1 never slept in his at all (but the cats did...). The car seat is still fine from ds1, and I'm afraid we're not going to buy a new cot mattress as it's been stored in our bedroom since DS stopped using it, and it's in perfect condition.

frogchops · 20/05/2013 07:55

Oh. Maybe I should think about this?? The place where I work has its own nursery. Although maybe its not just a case of going for convenience. I am planning on taking 12 months tho.... That gives me more time, doesn't it??? Blush

MrsMangoBiscuit · 20/05/2013 09:22

You're booking nurseries already! Shock I'll need a child minder for DD2 as I'll also need them to do the school run for DD1, and wrap around care. This won't be until end of summer 2014. Is it too early to start contacting childminders? Will they think I'm odd? Grin

I think we're going to have to buy a new car seat for when DD2 first arrives. We put ours in the garage briefly whilst having work done, and sort of forgot it was there. Blush I don't think it'll be fit for a doll, let alone a newborn. :( Thankfully everything else has been stored inside, so just need new matresses, and nappies. We still have ALL DD's clothes that are fit to be worn, so I can't see us needing any clothing for at least 3 years!

As for the car seat, does anyone know if it's possible to get adaptors to fit the Maxi Cosi Cabriofix to the Silver Cross Linear Freeway frame? Or how easy it would be to remove and replace the cover from a Silver Cross Venturer? Confused

KamikazeeKid · 20/05/2013 09:34

Omg!!! What does that £1350 cover? ??? One child? Thats loads if so. My little guy goes pretty much full time and is half that and they are a really good higher priced cm. Wow

First ridiculous sobbing outburst of this pregnancy today....3/4 pilots and ambulances flying past me in traffic....I suddenly started crying thinking about someone's life changing whilst they were on their way to work, school etc..... My life. .....someone sort me out!

Anyone had the chickenpox immunity blood test? How long did it take to get your results?

fl0b0t · 20/05/2013 11:27

Eeek. DH job changing location in Sept so we're not thinking about nursery so far. I'm not surprised to see those costs though, I know childcare pretty much costs what I earn post-tax.... so yeah....

herewego2 · 20/05/2013 12:16

Kamikazee Kid, I'm with you re: emotional. I cried on Saturday cos my 4 year old had hid first dry night and followed it up with putting some of his toys away "for the baby".....

flipflump · 20/05/2013 13:14

Prevalin nasal spray is half price in Morrisons. Handy for anyone suffering from hayfever.

kimjayne · 20/05/2013 13:18

Kittenkatzen - I have that same issue with hearing my pulse in my ear! It's just the left ear but it's all the time and drives me mad when I am somewhere quiet or trying to get to sleep! I asked the midwife about it this morning as it's been going on for weeks now and I was hoping she would say "oh yeah that will last a few weeks" ... instead she said "oh... that doesn't sound like anything pregnancy related! You should probably see a doctor as you might have tinitus!??"

Readytosettle · 20/05/2013 13:30

It's full time 7.45-6pm, 5 days a week. I spoke to the nurseries this morn & they said they have no places until July 2014 so now is definitely the time for us to get booked in....we don't know what our plans our yet re: DH's job so are having to book based on current situation (which is me doing all pick ups & drops). At least then we'll have one option rather than none!

My understanding is that the popular childminders will be the same (booking wise) but of course there'll be new people taking that up all the time so I imagine it won't be quite as bad as with nurseries!

Readytosettle · 20/05/2013 13:33

And yes, child care bill will far exceed my mortgage...gulp.

Kittenkatzen · 20/05/2013 13:44

Oh no kimjayne tinitus, really?? Maybe I should get it checked out then :((

Kittenkatzen · 20/05/2013 14:07

kimjayne I just looked up tinnitus and the NHS website says that there is something called pulsatile tinnitus, described as follows:

Pulsatile tinnitus is a type of tinnitus where you hear rhythmical noises that beat in time with your pulse. It is usually caused by either:

  • blood flow changes in the blood vessels near your ear
  • increased awareness of the blood flow near your ears

Doesn't specifically mention pregnancy, but I guess the description makes sense considering we have 40% or so more blood than normal right now wouldn't you say?

MrsMangoBiscuit · 20/05/2013 15:23

I remember hearing my pulse a lot more that usual in my last pregnancy, but it went at some point after giving birth. This time round it's back again, especially when I'm lying down, or in the bath, or just a bit hot. I'd just assumed it was yet another odd pregnancy thing and didn't even ask about it. Blush

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