Graduated Elderberries (numero 3)

[BraveLilBear]

Welcome back oh graduated elderberries. Let us discuss the delights of being over-30 first-timers with google obsessions

Oh & mother have you tried tops or dresses with ruching at the front? My friends swear by those for post-baby tummy.

frog you uncovered my plan I have 3 tops to try for tonight all chosen with that idea in mind. Fingers crossed I can find a way to not look like a walrus.

I have 3 cats as well and not worried at all - my parents always had cats and me and sister are still alive. Cats I have seen steer very clear of those noisy grabby little things.

Hazel mine steers clear of everyone, hes not very social so I think he'll steer well clear like you say. Now the pooch on the other hand, she will present a different challenge

Ok, quick question, is 14+3 too early to feel the baby? I ate my body weight in skittles at work the other day....I know moment on the lips lifetime on the hips .....and had this odd fluttery/dragging type feeling, I wrote it off thinking it was way too early and that it was probably gas but laying in the bath this morning I felt the same thing but more prominent, almost like bubs was turning round or something? Surely its too early?!? Am I going mad?

Don't know Mother, everyone is different, I didn't feel anything until about 16 weeks which is still considered fairly early but when I did it felt like jelly bubbles popping. Hope this helps?

My first movements felt like trapped wind releasing itself It was about 16 weeks but MW said it's because of posterior placenta and lack of belly fat. She said the average time to feel first movement is 20 weeks.

i think it was around 16 weeks for me too, and as Purple said, it felt like bubbles in jelly.

Yeah, it was because of my amazing flat, toned stomach just like Cavort

I wouldn't say my pre-pg stomach was particularly fat free - it was flat(ish) but I could certainly pinch an inch, so was surprised by MW's comment. She is quite fat though.

Just back from dog walk and thinking about the totally different experience people can have - of both parenting and dog-owning.
Our two dogs are really easy. Not overly energetic, listen well, don't bark. We fill their food bowls when empty and they decide when and how much they want to eat. We usually walk them off leash without any problems. So my experience is that having dogs are easy.

And this weekend we are dogsitting friend's golden retriever. She also trains him, private lessons and all, but the dog is 10x more work than ours. Barks at everything, including randomly in the middle of the night. Eats everything in sight, including non-edible items. Runs away, does not listen at all - you can stand and yell and he just ignores you, same with the owner. He's like a cat, does not care the slightest about what the owners think. Sigh. Lovely dog really, but I'm tired!

So 2 points - I have to review my previous statement that dogs and babies are no problem. Depends on what you get. And our parenting experience will also be vastly different depending on what we get (most likely the reason why some people stop at 1 ) . Of course, there's always the nature-nurture question, but upbringing will have effect later - a newborn is either an easy baby or not. So really, fx for an easy one!

That reminds me, on the subject of difficult babies....

DNephew is 6 weeks old and had been getting increasingly difficult since birth with various colic and reflux issues. GP had prescribed Infant Gaviscon and they had bought all the anti-colic bottles, Infacol, etc., none of which was making any difference. They had a grumpy baby who looked in pain pretty much 24/7 and Sis and BIL were looking like zombies.

After desperate online research on mainly American websites, they decided to take him to a Chiropractor who realigned his vertebrae and ribcage (which apparently are commonly left misaligned during birth and the manipulation would have also straightened any twisting in his gut) and he is like a different baby now! He is now a happy little boy who hardly cries and sleeps well.

Sis is that this is not available on the NHS and is not something GP's recommend or even mention to parents as it's seen as a complimentary/alternative therapy. GP's would seemingly rather fill our babies up with drugs.

Oh cavort that's terrible but good that they got it sorted. Are any of you having any kind of alternative treatments during pregnancy? I was thinking of trying reflexology as I found someone local who sounded good who I was going to try when TTC but she also does it for pg. Today I just feel terrible & exhausted - like I'm coming down with flu & shivery. I've also got bad backache but that could be from my golf lesson. I hope this is normal & I'm not coming down with something.

Hope you feel better soon Frog, unfortunately pregnancy does compromise your immune system so you might be a but more prone to catching whatever bugs are going round but fingers crossed you're just having an off day.

Interesting about your nephew Cavort, I don't think I would ever have thought of that, like you say, makes you wonder why in earth they weren't given better advice?

Hazle, I really hope in the nature v nurture debate that our dogs behaviour bears no resemblance to our child's because unfortunately both mutts are utter nutters in very different ways. I really hope that none of it is our fault or we could be in for a rough time if it with this baby!

Purple probably because GP's don't get any backhanders from something that actually cures a problem. It's much better for their pocket to alleviate symptoms but keep patients on prescribed medication long term. Skeptical I know, but I know quite a few pharmaceutical sales reps who tell me about the very cushy incentives and backhanders which GP's get to prescribe a certain drug.

Wow what a frightening thought Cavort!

I'm contemplating going to the GP and asking for something stronger than paracetamol for my back, trying hold off as I don't really like the idea of being on stronger pain killers because of the baby but the paracetamol isn't touching it and I'm not sure I can handle another 7 weeks of this agony. I'm trying to tough it out but it's making me pretty miserable tbh. On the plus side, my hips don't seem nearly so bad in comparison so every cloud

Purple I think co-codamol is safe during pregnancy and should be better than just paracetamol? I get what you're saying about not taking pain killers (and I would be exactly the same), but i'm sure you being in pain and miserable is also not good for the baby so get yourself sorted with something stronger

purple have you tried anything like acupuncture for your back? I had it when ttc and I THINK it helped the clomid work first month, I felt something like a trapped nerve in the exact ovary that finally ovulated not long after my session. I've also heard it's good for pain?

Totally agree with cavort about the GP/drug situation. So interesting about that chiropractor therapy working on your nephew - much better than drugs. I actually won't take anything unless I really need to, I've always believed people should be very careful of just accepting drugs prescribed. However since clomid got me knocked up, if all goes well with this pregnancy (fingers crossed) I'm having to eat my words a bit (before that, I'd only even take paracetamol if I was in agony, maybe a couple of times in my life!) Although I do secretly worry about future generations and how many people will need things like clomid, if all the people who take it now can only conceive with it - but as one of those people, I am sooo grateful for it!

Anyway janey and I did really well, we were at a wedding until midnight AND we even did some sober dancing!

Oh and hazle what dog breeds do you have again, for future ref? They sound lovely and easy!

Purple my osteopath does medical acupuncture (different from Chinese acupuncture, much longer needles and they don't leave them in) and it had an amazing effect for me as part of treatment when I slipped 2 discs years ago. I can't remember if you are in London?

Alex they are mutts, so the only way you can have this breed is if their parents have a little accident again. Their dad is an Irish setter though and also quite easy to handle, so as long as you are prepared to walk and run a lot, setters could be an option.

Yeah I'm not one for taking tablets really either Alex, that's why I'm trying to cope just on paracetamol but I'm on the maximum dose every day and still in a lot of pain. OH has made a few sarcastic jokey comments about if I can't cope with a bit of back ache how do I think I'm going to manage to give birth just on G&A which pissed me off made me even more determined to try to last just on the paracetamol. I usually consider myself to be pretty brave but it is quite a lot of constant pain!

I'll be needing some strength, finger crossing/prayers (whichever you're in to!) today anyway: OH, FIL and BIL are supposedly fitting the velux windows today which means fairly soon they're going to cut a fuck off big hole in the roof and I'm not entirely convinced that any of them really know what they're doing. Aarrgghh!

Lol at Irish Setters being easy to handle, must depend on the ones you know, I've met a few who have been lovely docile creatures but also met a few who have been a dangerous combination if insane and utterly stupid - knew one who threw herself off a cliff for example (miraculously she was ok)

My grandma always had boxers & they are very good with children. My old neighbours in London had one too & she was so lovely with their very young kids even tho they came later. Really protective. She was such a softy & trembled when she first met my then kittens!

frog my parents had a boxer too and this one did not like children at all - but that's because when he was a puppy, a little spirited darling at a party kept kicking him, while darling's parents watched adoringly. With dogs (like with kids I guess) the outcome seems to be a mix of breed, the particular dog's personality and upbringing. So you'll never know what you will get.

purple that sounds like a nightmare - DH is not allowed to do any DIY really, just in case.

I can't complain too much Hazle as I'm lucky that he is very handy, it just worries me when he checks YouTube videos of how to do something before embarking on a job which involves making a hole in the roof! I'm sure it will all be fine if it leaks in going to actually kill him