Sept 2013 - kicks, prods and finding out the sex...

[LexyMa]

here we all are... hoping for nice clear 20w. scans, not too much inadvertent weeing and getting that 'glow'...

Ooh I'm so knackered. Second time around and a toddler who likes early morning is a killer. I was going to stay at work as late as possible but I'm rapidly changing my mind about that.

Hopefully we will be able to do similar to early days with ds...in Moses basket in our room but spare room with spare double in for baby and I on hard nights and for those night feeds! Hubby can sleep then or deal with ds who will be in 3rd room until new babys more settled and I've recovered from section!

I have to say I had all the routine books but ended up letting ds lead and he developed a good routine himself, personally couldn't imagine banishing a newborn to their own room after being so close in the womb. My friend did it with dc1 and was sooo stressed out.

However I realise wuth dc2 I am going to have to enforce more of a routine earlierin order to cope with 2 little ones! Ds was such an easy baby im petrified this one will be the opposite

Dr wouldnt see me or dc for slapped cheek as nothing can do and said baby be fine as at 20 weeks development? Darent google anymore as if thats local medical opinion I cant do anything about it!!?!! Midwife said same and wouldnt test for immunity.... :-/

Our ds's bedroom was dh's study till DS was 10 months - he was in with us till then! We have since moved house and will probably sort out the baby's room before then this time, but maybe not before he or she is born. There's no rush at all.

In terms of labour, the thing is that you get a break between the contractions, so it's not constant pain. I can't really remember how bad it was, to be honest, though Dh does!

Kamikaze - that's correct about slapped cheek not being a risk after 20 weeks, I had to have a blood test for it 13 weeks and my midwife said that they only test up to 20 weeks as after that baby isn't at risk. As others have said too I've not heard or come across anyone who isn't immune.

Thing is when he was suffering with possible early symptoms that was 2 weeks or 3 weeks ago so before 20 weeks....is 20 weeks final cutoff?
Trying not to worry but got to admit feel a bit concerned. ... My initial google had some horrible stories! :-(

Good news on everyone's scan news!

Two things about labour: does the epidural hurt? I've never had any issues with having one, but the thought of having a needle stuck in my spine gives me the heebies!
Also, do you have/ need to write a birth plan? I've always been of the opinion that I'm just going to take it as it goes and do what seems best at the time, or what is medically best. I heard lots of people say their birth plan didn't even get a look in when they got to the hospital?

My birth plan was 2 sentences long. It said something like: "I don't really want to have any pain relief other than gas and air, but if I need more then I'm happy to explore my options. I'm also happy to go along with what the midwives think is the best course of action."

Honestly, if you're worried about labour, then allow yourself to get excites about the knowledge that there are drugs to help ease the pain - too many people put pressure on themselves not to have a drug assisted labour, stress themselves out and make things much more distressing for all concerned. Use gas and air early on if you have a low pain threshold, get a Tens machine, get in the water, stay active, bounce on a ball, have pethidine and an epidural, just do it all if you need to! No need at all to stress. It will happen, that baby is coming out.

jammy the epidural didn't hurt me....

My birth plan was "am open minded love a water birth but have no idea wgat eill happen so just one thing - don't tell me the sex I want us to see rather than be told" .. Not much of a plan but worked well as ended up with an emcs!

I was worried an epidural would hurt or paralyse me but by the time you are having it you wont think about it as its all for baby, you feel uncomfortable pressure and an elec shock feeling in leg!! Its fairly quickly administered. They numb the area too.

I had a dural tap tho which was another thing entirely!!!

My birth plan didn't get looked at either time, but I was induced.
Re epidural hurting - by the time you ask for one (if you ask) the worry about the needle is far from your mind, plus they also numb the area with a local anaesthetic. The difficult bit is keeping totally still so you have to tell the anaesthetist if you are having a contraction. Once the needle etc is in and they inject the drug, you can feel it going up your spine like liquid ice and it is like nothing you have ever felt the relief is immense!
(Other forms of pain relief are available )

I didn't have a birth plan document, but discussed all the stages etc with DH and so we both knew what would be first choice. There was plenty of time to tell the MW verbally too. Despite this they still took notice of our 'plan'. I think the main thing is to understand all the options and antenatal classes / filling in a template birth plan would probably help with that, just don't expect it to be the kind of plan you've failed if you don't stick to!

I'm sure labour must hurt, but I don't really remember. In early labour I was making jam tarts and knitting! And the gas and air worked fabulously for me, as did the warm water in the pool. But in plenty of countries an epidural is the assumed plan and I hear that works very well!

We have a template in our notes with different sections. I think we will be expected to fill it in during the classes we have. I am sure they will emphasise the unpredictability though.
I think that it's easy to underestimate the huge range of feelings about birth. Some people are petrified and would rather a Cs under GA others would prefer no pain relief at all. While most of us fall in the middle the MWs won't know that and so theres no harm in jotting down some ideas.

I know I want to be upright and mobile as much as physically possible and all other choices just flow from that. I know I might have to lie down on my back but if I do I want the MWs to know and be sensitive to the fact that isn't my choice and it makes me uncomfortable.

gosh. one chap offered me the perching bit on the jubilee line, then after another couple of mins another one shamed a sitting person into getting up. It's all chivalry today!!! (or I just look like death)

So I had my scan yesterday and we found out we were having another little girl. A small part of me was hoping it was a boy but I'm glad I found out now as I feel I had some 'issues' with DD1.

I didn't get that rush of love that u read about as I think I was shocked she was a girl and ended up with mild PND. She never slept and was a bit hard work and I just wasn't expecting anything that happened. I've now got it into my head all girls are like this and I'm going to struggle again with another DD.

I had visions of bursting into tears if they told me it was a girl but I felt alright. I've already had two comments about how there's always next time for a boy

Great advice on labour and birth plans. I'm too nervous to pin my hopes on anything at the moment. If my low lying placenta doesn't move I'll be having a planned section. If I psych myself for that and at 38 weeks I'm told it has moved and will be having a normal delivery, will I freak out?? Has anyone had any experience of having a low placenta at 20 weeks? I'd love for it to move but don't want to focus on one birth or the other. I'm rambling now, clearly stressing over something I can't influence!! Guess I'll just have to go with the flow and take the advice I'm given. Finally at 20+4 I'm feeling movement. No definite kicks but happy to feel the little fish squirm.

More lovely scan news, would love to know boy/girl percentages in our group. Good luck to anyone having theirs today.

My friend had a low lying placenta but it had moved by the time she had the follow up scan. Now has a healthy baby girl (induced a week early due to high bp but that was unrelated)

Aah yellowhat, sorry you're feeling a little . Not having had any before this one, all I can say from everything I have read and all of the ladies on here with more dc's is that it seems no children are the same in their behaviour. Coming from one of 4 siblings too I can tell you this is the case.i was apparently a very placid child whereas my two elder sisters were cryers! You have to try to treat this one with fresh eyes (easy to say I know). Plus you've done it all before so maybe you'll know better what to expect? Or at least you'll know better that you can't influence it all that much so will be more relaxed?

Ps, younger brother was the real bugger - still is and he turns 30 this year

Girlwithayellowhat - sending you a virtual hug. I've got 2 boys and found out with the second one, had all the same comments about a girl next time - so they're having a field day now of course! It's good that you acknowledge you may need some time to get your head round things, and remember no 2 babies are the same. My first DS was nightmare sleeper till he was 1 and hard hard work, I also had pnd. Second DS was a very easy baby and slept 7-7 from 12 weeks old - I did nothing different second time!

thank you all for advice about labour. I think I had assumed when it all started happening it would be rushed with no time for decisions to be made or talked through, where as in fact I guess most labours take quite some time.
the most important thing for me is a safe labour, esp after a disaster for a close friend which ended very badly.
i will keep the marathon analogy in mind and keep 'training' the best i can, getting in the best shape i can be and know that the final day will be a matter of dealing with what ever comes!

yellowhat give yourself time to get to grips with dd2 and be happy that she may turn out as awesome as all of us! :D

The reason we sorted the baby room is "somewhere to put all this stuff". We are lucky to have another spare room which was just an office, but plenty of space to move the spare bed into the study. The study is next to the baby room, and the bedroom is diagonally opposite (a bit further away) so we can very much play it by ear.

We have moses basket and stand for our bedroom to get us started off. No idea how long baby will stay in with us, or whether one of us will temp move to the spare room with the moses basket... who knows!

Currently not too worried about labour. I've never been a huge worrier as I know it won't get me anywhere. My birth plan will be pretty relaxed I think along the lines of "prefer to start with everything an natural as poss, water birth/alternative birth room and stay active. If it's not possible, happy to consider pain relief/ epidural if needed and happy to be led by midwives, with natural delivery of placenta". My chance of getting a water birth is I recon pretty low as Sept is busy baby time, so I can but hope.

lexy me, my bump (in a tight tee) and my "baby on board" badge stood all the way home yesterday!

To be fair, I have a folding bike and a massive heavy full bag and the trains were both packed. Even if someone offered me a seat, I would have declined as a)I couldn't get me and my luggage to anywhere near a seat and b)I was only going one stop (25 mins in one case and 10 mins in the other) and was planning on cycling 5 miles home from the station....... so would have felt a bit of a fraud!

Creamtea - good to read your dc2 was so different. My dc1 sounds like yours and I'm a teeny bit terrified and thinking 'ehat can I do different' but I know I didn't do anything 'wrong' really!

Flobot - DD was a water birth, in September, when round here they'd closed the 2 local birth centres due to a baby boom! You may well be able to get one! :)

I had my scan this morning. Everything is perfect. Baby gave us a little wave and everything. We didn't find out the colour but overwhelmed that everything is okay!

Any other scan news for today yet?

yellowhat in a roundabout way I felt quite similar to you when I found out I'm having a girl (although this is my first). Both my sister and I had a difficult relationship with my mum, who I loved dearly but who was truly a difficult person when she was still alive. When I found out we're having a girl I spent days freaking out (secretly) that I may end up with the same relationship with my daughter.
The more I thought about it though, the more I came to realise that everybody's relationships are different, circumstantial, and really just depend on what you make of them! I hope you can shake off your sad feeling, and hopefully just look forward to being a mummy to a wonderful little girl.

Anyone having emotional outbursts? Thought I'd escaped but I massively overreacted to DP's question about when I was walking the dog this morning! I'd said I'd walk her after having a shower which to me meant shower/breakfast/get dressed. As I made a cuppa and toast he asked and jokingly said 'ah, look at her little face I thought you were taking her after your shower' to which I burst into tears and got upset about him being 'bossy' and would he keep telling me what to do with a baby too? Usually I'd say something like 'do you want to walk her?' and give him a sarcastic stare. It's only my mum's dog we're looking after for 4 days too! OMG, my hormones have crept up on me!!!!