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Original poster

Sept 2013 - kicks, prods and finding out the sex...

999 replies

LexyMa · 30/03/2013 17:25

here we all are... hoping for nice clear 20w. scans, not too much inadvertent weeing and getting that 'glow'...

OP posts:
jennimoo · 18/04/2013 20:28

I was 'kindly' given the GF book by my boss a few days after DD arrived. I sobbed reading it on several occasions as the fact there was no way my baby would go the expected length of time between feeds made me feel like a complete failure.

MammaGnomes · 18/04/2013 20:54

Hi guys,

Just marking my place- not really a big poster but all your posts are lovely to read and v reassuring!!

Quick question: you are walking down the street and see a lady (or guy) pushing a deep purple colour buggy. Would you assume the baby was a girl?

andadietcoke · 18/04/2013 21:03

Hi mamma!

No, don't think I would. Pale lilac, yes, but dark purple's fairly gender neutral for me.

CharlW1 · 18/04/2013 21:15

Good luck Dorita and other scan buddies for tomorrow Smile

Readytosettle · 18/04/2013 21:38

Great question mamma! How about bright orange? someone please say it's gender biased so I can persuade DH to get the red one instead

Dorita75 · 18/04/2013 21:54

I'm with dietcoke it's neutral for me. Now I want a deep purple coloured pram.

badguider · 18/04/2013 22:03

sorry ready bright orange doesn't say boy or girl to me at all... (can't even work out which way it could be biased...)

andadietcoke · 18/04/2013 22:07

ready at least they'll see you coming Wink

Kittenkatzen · 18/04/2013 22:20

See for me deep purple says girl, but bright orange is neutral Smile

Wish we had found an orange one - ours is lime green, I love it but orange would have been better!

kipsonline · 18/04/2013 22:37

Oooh I have just been to a pudding and wine evening at church, and might have made up for lack of wine by over eating the puddings.... The baby is now protesting, and my maternity skinny jeans are feeling more than a little strained.... Arrgh!

SGJ · 18/04/2013 22:44

I really want an orange colour pack for our Bugaboo, totally neutral imo, but sadly purple says girl to me (but probably more so as DD is often dressed in purple)
Yy to all the mcFlurries - I have a free token as well! Sadly just got in from rehearsal so it's a yoghurt for me instead, boo.
I counted my remaining working days too today - 38 I think, which is 14 more 3 day weeks. Can't wait!
And finally... I bought the Gina Ford book (phone corrected to 'Guns Ford'!!) last pg, finally read a bit of it about 8 weeks after DD was born and saw that DD was naturally falling in to some bits of her routine, but not others. Usually the morning bits. I wasn't too bothered and didn't try to stick to a GF routine - to be honest it didn't suit us at all to get DD in bed as early as she banged on about, so that was fine.

kimjayne · 18/04/2013 22:51

been to the docs and I have Sciatica. Sad rubbish! Apparently it's pretty common in pregnancy! Lucky us hey.
How were the scans today.anyway? Any more pink/blue news? Smile

Kittenkatzen · 19/04/2013 07:26

Oh no kimjayne that's rubbish - can you take anything for the pain or are you stuck with it?

I haven't done much reading at all on routine just yet, but DH and I are broadly of the (entirely uneducated) opinion that we'll be pretty much baby led for the first few weeks, and then hopefully find a natural routine for ourselves as we get into our stride. I am definitely the kind to feel like a failure if my baby doesnt do what the book says it should so am reluctant to put myself in that position!

frogchops · 19/04/2013 09:51

Am just on for a bit of a vent. DP and I aren't speaking right now... And at the moment I'm dreading life with him and a child. He expects too much on his terms and I'm just generally exhausted with worrying about how hell react to things and how I'm not good enough. That's it in a nutshell. Rant over. Hmm

jennimoo · 19/04/2013 11:35

Frog I'm sorry you're feeling like that, it's the last thing you need to worry about at the moment :(

CharlW1 · 19/04/2013 11:53

Just come back from my scan - I got really quite emotional - truly amazing. All is fine apart from the placenta covering the way out so I have to have another scan at 32 weeks. I also found out I'm having a girl!! so excited Smile

JammyTummy · 19/04/2013 12:02

frog I think if anyone should be worrying about stuff right now is your DH. You need to be concentrating on having a happy, healthy bump! I really hope that he soon realises that you are giving him the best thing he will ever have and how lucky he is. I also think that you will fall into being a mummy just fine, it seems really natural to worry about not being good enough, but I'm sure that happens to everyone! I most certainly have no mummy skills as yet! Flowers

frogchops · 19/04/2013 13:19

I know I know.... He is very helpful around the house and I can't fault what he does, but j can't help feeling that he thinks I'm not pulling my weight. He woke me up last night(I've been falling asleep after work since the beginning!) to 'help him with' the washing up. I said no and that its not the end of the world that its not done. He huffed, said he'd have to do it as well as everything else and then had attitude with me all night. I went to bed unhappy crying uncontrollably at 9pm an he has spoken to me since.... He has this habit of making me feel totally inadequate an I know I'll dread him coming home after work to see me, a baby and incomplete housework HmmHmmHmm

jennimoo · 19/04/2013 13:30

Frog - once baby arrives make sure he gets to spend a good few hours on his own with him/ her ASAP: he'll never complain again after that ;)

My DH recognises that it is far harder being at home than going to work, and I joke my 2 day week at work is my weekend ;)

flipflump · 19/04/2013 13:43

Frog, sorry you're feeling down at the moment. Maybe you need to sit down and talk it out. Tell him how you're feeling, your concerns and your concerns over the future. I am also useless in the evening, it's exhausting working all day and growing a human being!! It takes it's toll. I have never done the whole motherhood thing before but I have been a professional nanny for many years and have done a spot of maternity nursing. I feel fairly prepared for the whirlwind that's upon us but know how much work it's going to be. You should maybe explain to him that the little every day niggles are of no importance and raising a happy baby is far more important. Who gets more satisfaction out of their day - the mother/carer who's playing, interacting, singing, dancing, encouraging messy play or the mother/carer who's so obsessed with chores and a spotless house they have no time in the day to interact. Children are only little and dependant for such a short period of time (my first charge will be going to university soon) their memories of childhood need to be happy and fun, not of parents niggling over dishes, they'll have no memory of the house being spotless. Remind him not to stress the small stuff, enjoy everyday of the growing bump. It will be easier on you if you clear the air now, than when you have a demanding newborn and you're feeling constant pressure to be a perfect wife and perfect mother. It's good you've had a vent, takes a weight off your shoulders!

Manoodledo · 19/04/2013 13:46

Congratulations on your girl CharlW1! My scan was good too although no sex info. Grr! They had signs all over the place in the waiting room warning people not to ask as it wasn't their policy to tell. So unfair [stamps feet like a big kid!]

Frog I symathise! I remember crying for ages after an argument with DH when DS1 was only a few weeks old about my not taking the rubbish out to the bins when this would have involved me leaving the baby alone in the flat while I traipsed down several flights of stairs to the bin shed, when DH left the flat every day to go to work and could surely have done it himself!!! I distinctly remember me saying 'I just need some help' and him saying that he had a job and this was my job (i.e. looking after the baby and the house!) Sorry, that probably doesn't help, but I know how you feel. I second Jennimoo's advice about making sure he is left responsible for the baby fairly early on. I would also suggest trying to have some sort of discussion about how you'll probably need some help with stuff, at least in the early days. I also wish I'd sat down and negotiated some regular time off, like a maid(!), a Saturday afternoon off at least once a month would've been nice. Had I had some sort of regular activity or hobby to get me out of the house on a regular basis that would have been good. So if you haven't got one you might want to consider taking something up now!

frogchops · 19/04/2013 14:01

That's just it....their tke niggles. I didnt make the bed yesterday and then stressed all day that I wouldn't be home in time to do it before he got home. Tbf he normally does it himself anyway, he does a lot so I'm not moaning at him not helping. It's these little things that I know will be the last thing on my mind with a child....
Another example being the other night when I was reading a book, I went to bed leaving it on the sofa. DP questioned wether I was going to 'tidy up' (a book!!!!) before I went. I curtly said no and went to bed. Que DP huffing, getting up, moving said book to bookshelf and mumbling about him having to tidy up after me.
Maybe I'm being lazy, but I'm trying to introduce small things that 'don't matter' before baby comes. HmmHmm

Manoodledo · 19/04/2013 14:11

Just wondering Frog whether this is normal behaviour for him, or if it's getting worse. It could be that the idea of the baby is stressing him out and this is how it's manifesting itself. He may not even realize himself that he's feeling stressed about it. My DH is like that. He's a very good dad (although as a general rule he does bugger all round the house unless it involves DIY), but I know that he felt very stressed out before the birth of both our sons. He suffers a bit from anxiety and he's already worrying about how the birth of this next baby will affect him.

frogchops · 19/04/2013 14:25

No it's very much him. He does a lot, he completely does our washing, will do ironing, hoovers, cleans etc. but all to often he comments on how I'm not doing as much. And I'm KNACKERED! It's as though everytime he goes out he feels better if he knows ill be doing 'a job' while he's gone. He constantly says 'he's got to do the ironing' or 'he's got things to do around the house' it all makes me feel quite crap. HmmHmm

SGJ · 19/04/2013 14:33

I'm pissed off with my DH at the moment too Frog, so I sympathise. I genuinely don't think men have a clue how differently women see pregnancy, to blokes it's only real when the baby is actually here, whereas most of your waking (and sleeping) thoughts are about the baby in some way.
I second the idea of having a talk now - most likely your DP has no idea why you're upset and worried, or at best probably thinks you're 'just being hormonal' when really you've got quite reasonable concerns (housework is an impossible chore until they're about 12 months at least!)