Graduated Elderberries (thread 2)

[Cavort]

Oops, seems we ran out of room without noticing!

I see a line Merkin!

Barcelona v Grimsby for a conference, hmmm, toughie

Cavort, I do hope you just plucked that out of thin air and haven't actually had to go to Grimsby for a conference. I live not a million miles away from there and can honestly say it really isn't the brightest northern town to choose!

Sooo today's I'm-a-bad-mother-to-be-because... relates to me trying to conceal bump at work. I have a very important work function later on this evening which the chief exec has asked me to attend and look after some of the visitors. There will also be VIPs. This requires suiting up, or at least smart skirting with suit jacketing.

Yesterday, my bump pretty much popped into shape and is solid, and can no longer be concealed. Chief exec doesn't yet know I'm pg (that I know of) and I feel really self-conscious because I don't want my profesionalism called into question or my dedication to my job/career questioned just because I'll be running away in a few months to have a baby.

I know this is completely illogical and I'm being ridiculous, but I feel really self-conscious about it and don't really want to say to his PA oh by the way, I'm up the duff in case you didn't know.

So every smart item of clothing I own was tried on last night. Even the suits that were too big are no longer working because they inevitably button up where Baby Bear now resides and frankly, although OH's suugestion of 'just use safety pins' was sweet, he obviously doesn't realise that people can see safety pins on suits because the buttons are part of the design.

My go-to dress, a jersey pencil skirt bottom with cowled navy top half (which I can wear suit jacket with) was an epic fail, as even the tight panelling does nowt for concealment.

So there were tears before breakfast, compounded by OH saying 'why do you want to hide it? you wanted to be pregnant, now you're just wishing the baby away' which I'm clearly not, I just wish this was a bit more controllable.

Bah, apologies for essay rant. I now have on a jersey pencil skirt with a white blouse over that, with a very very old black suit jacket (just works) creates enough layering to make it less obvious.

To top it all, went to get a bacon sarnie from one of the cafes at work and they said 'no bacon until 9am'. Actually nearly cried. Hormones.

Thank you ladies. Fingers crossed til after Tue when I might feel more confident. (Although have dipped multiple sticks in both FMU and SMU this AM already and all have lines!)

Oh cavort what a nightmare. I'm am of course referring to the bacon sarnie here

I am COMPLETELY with you on the controlling who knows you are pg and when. It's not being a bad mother to be AT ALL. Instead, I'd imagine that you want to go to the meeting, people to not know, and then after you've shown how hard you're still working and competent you are, your MD can find out in his own time safe in the knowledge you're still his brilliant employee. That's not unreasonable at all.

I had to go to a meeting a week ago in the place of my commerical director and MD, and the MD's of all our competitors were there obviously I was the only female in the room, bloody equality hey!. Anyway I got there early and sat down, so the bump was hidden - it wasn't until afterwards I told those people I knew my news, and let the bump show to those that didn't know. I think it's reasonable enough, so please don't beat yourself up about it.

Hope your meeting is post 9am so you can still get your sarnie!

Thanks Janey - meeting is tonight, starts at 6.30pm, followed by a drinks reception aka lots of standing around and small talk , which I'm also expected to be at! Consoled myself with brick of flapjack, which should work til lunch time.

Bah. Least it's not just me with control issues a thinner skin than I thought.

Shitting Ada. I called you cavort then, not brave. I AM GOING MAD.

Oh no bear if it helps I would cry at the lack of a bacon sarnie on a normal day.

I also don't think you are mad to be having a panic, if nothing else the change in your body is a big thing to get used to, I mean yes we know we will get a bump but it must still be odd to look down and see it. We all have a way of carrying ourselves at work and in certain situations to make ourselves feel empowered and I assume perhaps wrongly that it is just making you feel a bit out of control. I would remember that men are not perceptive creatures! They don't notice things until they pointed out normally so they might notice less than you think. Also do not forget the power of boobs, if they have gotten bigger they may look no further down.....sorry that is really sexist but some of it is definitely true.

Thinking of you.

Lol at pervy men Mother and 'shitting Ada' - clearly the best use of swearing I've heard in at least three years

Funnily enough, I interviewed a 21-year-old lad for some work the other week and noticed he kept staring at my boobs. This is very unusual for me as my pre-pregnancy self is rather flat-chested. So I think now I'm about the same size as normal women

And you're right, I am being controlling. Dammit. Went to a public lecture the other week (love living near a uni) about perinatal mental health and the professor of midwifery said that the increasing lack of control throughout a pregnancy can be intimidating for mums-to-be and can even lead to full-blown depression and tokophobia etc. Trying to relinquish control, honest!

bear I nearly spat my drink out when I read 'shitting ada' too, awesome work janey.

I actually lied to a friend about being pregnant last night and feel a bit bad this morning. I had a nice dinner with 2 friends and one knows we are ttc (because I was asking her about maternity pay etc) and asked outright, even though other friend had no idea! I really didnt want to tell them as they would struggle to keep it quiet, still felt bad lying though.

Was the right thing though as she then told me how some of her friends are ttc, bet they dont know shes telking people! This is all so cloak and dagger isnt it.

Yup Mother it sure is. Don't feel bad about lying, it's kinda rude to flat out ask, and unless they're friends you'd turn to if things didn't go to plan, then totally reasonable to keep it quiet.

You can always say further down the line that you were waiting for confirmation/weren't sure/didn't want to jinx it if you get called on your fib.

When you get a second ladies could you post a tiny bit of info about yourselves (unless you've done this on a prev thread and I could simply go and find that) so I have a better idea of who everyone is and where they're at (pregnancy not geography!)

there definitely was a line!

I'm 34 years old, 26 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow and having a boy. Geographically I'm living in France with my French husband (and working in Switzerland) so you will often hear me complaining about the local peculiarities.

Hi Merkin and congratulations!! In the murky booze free world of pregnancy there's not too much to get that excited about just neuroses and worry so a BFP really cheers me up! I do remember the worry that, despite BFP, AF was still going to show up on time. You'll feel a bit better once AF time has passed.

I am also 34 nearly 35, 25+1 upduffed with a girl. I live with DH and our dog and DH already has a 7 year old daughter.

I've had 6 lines today so feeling strangely calm. That feeling will probably have deserted me in the morn. Bought DH a what to expect when you're expecting as a way of letting him know today... Then read the section of what I am supposed to eat each day and I was baffled an amazed!!

Take no notice of all that shite Merkin, just eat pretty much normally with a spoonful of common sense. The NHS site lists the few foods you should avoid and everything else is fair game. If you Google absolutely anything there is always some idiot saying why you shouldn't eat it when you're pregnant. Make sure you're on the Folic Acid and Vitamin D though.

Have you told your OH? How did he react?

He's over the moon. Nervous but over the moon! Disbelieving until he saw all the lines and worried that the frer is a squinter!
On the diet front I'm afraid to say this is going to be a massive change for me as I normally eat and drink crap (luckily have the metabolism to cope with it!) therefore I really am going to need to learn to read labels and understand my food groups

I hate that book Merkin. And most "thou shalt not.." advice always turns out to be "...because we can't test on pregnant women and therefore don't know absolutely 100% that it's safe". Might as well wrap yourself in bubblewrap and live on distilled water..

Merkin if you're unlucky enough to get MS your body will dictate what you can and can't eat and if that happens to be 5 bags of Monster Munch every day then there's not much you can do about it. In the early days you just have to eat what you can keep down. That said, you might not get any MS.

I try to eat a reasonably balanced diet but that still involves some junk food and I am quite addicted to Fanta Orange to the point that I worry about the baby coming out orange.

Aww, that's lovely that your OH is so chuffed.

My bloody DH has just come home pissed and burst my birthing ball (which is, or rather was an exercise ball) while drunkenly wrestling the dog around the floor. Men!!

Yeah I figured most of it should be taken with a pinch of salt, nice to have it confirmed! Happily persuaded DH to buy me a huuuge Easter egg tonight which I will scoff!

Mh Cavort you had to remind me... [waddles towards the fridge for a fanta]

Oops sorry Hazle. I am turning this thread into the orange baby brigade

I can definitely see a line too and am very excited about another BFP (boring life)
I'm 31 and 24 weeks pregnant with probably a girl. I used to have ideas about healthy eating but now mostly live on kit kats and crisps you just gotta go with it!

merkin that is a definite line!! How many dpo are you??

By the way all, shall we do a quick refresh of stats? I'll start.
Zombies, due 25 Aug.

You and your bloody fanta cavort I nearly cried in m&s to go when they'd run out at lunch time. Merkin dont listen to cavort - she'll have you addicted too in no time. Still, I like to count it as one of my five a day

Anyway I'm an ancient 38 years old (with a lovely just turned 30 DP - cougar! I wish, am just a whale these days ) and am 23+2.

And a very warm tentative welcome, loving having new another grad

Ooh cross post, Janey due 9th juli