May 2013 - celebrating our entry into the 3rd trimester and an early arrival!

[SevenReasonsToSmile]

Welcome to the new thread, grab a .

Hi NG, just wanted to send you a big hug from one expat to another. I really understand how you feel; I know how hard and isolating I have found it living in Singapore and I don't even have a child to deal with - being so far away from everyone and not having the kind of support network you need is incredibly challenging. Keep going, you are doing brilliantly well and you're so nearly there now. Keep coming on here for a chat, I'm here for hand holding / encouragement whenever you need it :)

Ah thanks Sea it must be more difficult being so far away. I guess we could nip home if we wanted but our difficulty there is that my PiL live in a tiny 2 bed bungalow and never gave the heating on and my parents are in the US but I can't stop them going as they have a house there and have been doing the winter months for 15 years or so.

You are going home soon right? Have you found somewhe to live etc?

Expat here as well, living in Sudan! I'm due home for the birth but having a total nightmare with HMRC and working out how long I can be back for before I lose my non-resident tax status (of course have private health care and whatnot, just want to be near my mum!). It's making me tear my hair out at the moment: I'm due to leave here in a month to make sure I have good time to settle / don't take too many risks with not being able to fly and I still don't know if I can really spend five months at home or if I need to move to a totally new place Feeling very sorry for myself and DS! (better for the rant though, so thanks!)

Wow zorra what on earth are you doing in Sudan of all places?! Hope you get some answers from HMRC soon.

ng sorry to hear that you're struggling.

No news here today, except that they're now at the plastering stage in the new kitchen. It's very nearly a room, they'll be knocking through into the main part of the house later this week.

26+4

That does sounds tricky NG, perhaps once the weather's a bit warmer (early spring?) you could nip over to the UK for a long weekend and visit some friends and your PIL (though granted none of us are likely to 'nip' anywhere very speedily in the next 12 weeks or so...).

You're absolutely right, I'm back to the UK at the end of next week. I can't believe it's all nearly over, I feel sad that I haven't really made the most of the experience of being in Singapore (most of it has felt like a survival test rather than a big adventure) but I'm proud of myself that I've done it and that I'm nearly through it. Adjustment back to UK life will take a while too. We have just spent a fortnight in Australia, which was wonderful (I love it there) and DH flew back to London last night to start his new job on Friday. I'm missing him loads already, and can't wait to join him next week. The 15 hour flight on my own with 50 or so kilos of luggage isn't something I'm looking forward to much though...

Zorra, you're in Sudan! That's so interesting, I'd love to travel there. The whole tax thing can be so complicated - I'm still paid through London (with UK tax rates) and haven't been here long enough to be taxed on a Singapore basis but I have to be careful not to spend too much time here in the next few months or I may be liable for double taxation. It must be very hard not knowing how long you can be in the UK for - have you got a good lawyer or accountant to advise you? There should be a pretty clear answer, it's just working out how to access the information. If you have to move somewhere else for tax reasons where would you go? The channel islands could be nice for the summer and not too far away from England (I'm guessing that might work tax-wise though I might be wrong). I completely understand that you want to be close to your Mum and that you don't want to fly too late in pregnancy - I was going to return to the UK at 31 weeks but pushed it forwards a bit and I'm so pleased I did. Keep us posted as to how you get on with planning.

Afternoon

Hi C4te

ng sorry you're having a rough time of it

seven exciting to hear how the kitchen is progressing! We knocked walls down to make ours bigger and I love it - but that's probably cus I make such a mess and need lots of workspace (it drives DP nuts, bless 'im )

Does anyone else seem to be back in the first trimester, just with a wriggly bump now?? Queasiness and constant hunger have returned, but all I really fancy eating are fizzy sweets and cheese and pickle sandwiches, much like at 7-8 weeks. And the weeing all the time has cranked up another notch - lovely!

27+5 - the 28 w milestone is within sight!

aberjen yes I can't stop peeing, and morning sickness has made a return.

I'm also feeling queasy. Not yet as bad as in the first trimester but not great. Maybe it will stop me eating and piling on the weight!

Zorra - wow to Sudan! Would your DH return with you?

Yep, I'm back in the first trimester. I feel queasy all the time and completely knackered. Indigestion tablets have become my new food group.

On a positive, I have been trialing a weighted blanket for the past couple of weeks. OMG, within half an hour I'm out cold until 7/8am with just once toilet break. Can't imagine what a difference it will make once baby arrives. I have a review appointment on Friday with my occupational therapist at the hospital. The blanket will be staying at home. She'll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands if she wants it back. :o

*one not once

Oh dear Zorra the joys of relocating back, I can't wait for that one day. Will be hugely complicated I am sure! We moved from Switzerland to France last year and that was fraught with complications and we only moved 30km! Our tax is still to be sorted out between the two jurisdictions.

But at least you know you will be home soon. So then what after the five months? Will you go back?

Sea next week, how exciting! So has your DH found you somewhere to live so you don't have to worry about that when you arrive back? I loved Singapore but we were only there on a short week stopover on the way to Oz and NZ. The heat was something else, spent most of the time underground! My dad was based there in WW2 (yes he is old and so am I!) so I took loads of photos for him, he couldnt believe the changes, but the old buildings are still there which I loved.

I finally had a nap earlier when my DD went to sleep for her afternoon nap. Now feel even worse!

Seven how long until the work is complete? Sunds like progress is being made!

aber definitely feeling worse again, I get up for the loo at least four times in the night. Plus horrible sickness. Roll on ten weeks!

Westie what is a weighted blanket?

Feel sorry for all those far from home. I've worked away a lot but all before I had kids. I miss my mum (in Dublin) a lot right now as MIL is not around like she was with the other pregnancies as my FIL is having chemo and she just doesn't have any other time. In means in times of sickness or extreme wreck ness you have to start leaning on the kindness of friends, even if they have little ones.

nG have you got a babysitter? Or a local older mum who you could befriend? I use Sitters agency for emergencies but not sure if there is an equivalent set up there?

It's usually for people with sensory issues ng, it's a really heavy blanket/duvet. It can be very calming to lie under and help with sleep.

I love weighted blankets. :) When I worked at the school we had them for some of the kids and they were lovely.

I am loving the idea of these blankets. I need one!

Bood unfortunately I barely know anyone here, cold and unsociable winter has meant no chance to even get out of the house, let alone meet people. Have to just wait until the creche will take my DD or my parents come over, both ages away! I really do wish we were at home right now.

Mine is a hospital grade one I got on prescription. It's a quilt with steel chains running the length of it. It means you are pinned to the bed like a butterfly in a display case are firmly wrapped while you sleep. This makes you feel more secure and thus enables deep sleep, in the same way as swaddling a baby I suppose.

Because I am autistic I don't normally sleep well, rarely falling into deep sleep (until now). This means I struggle during the day with anxiety, concentration and cognitive function. Normally I drag myself out of bed around 10am but can't function much before 12 because my brain is in a fog. The last couple of weeks I've been up at 7am and the fog has gone by 8am. This is unheard of for me.

ng I totally agree with the other guys' suggestions about childcare - I now have DS in every morning from 9-12 and I've really valued that time for being able to make appointments, just do nothing (!) or go to the supermarket by myself. Is it possible financially?

Cheerful that's what got us into this in the first place! I will be cheerful along with you

Hello to all the other expats - we are expecting a huge dump of snow on Chicago today so I'm slightly crapping myself. Hoping DH can leave work early so he doesn't have to drive through it. It's already started and looking ominous out! Luckily I have filled the freezer so technically don't have to go out for a while :)

Art sorry you are ill. This virus seems to be particularly nasty. I'm not over it yet either after a week and half. The sinubpressure had now shifted to my ear. I feel your pain!

Ng you poor love! Can you not go and stay at your parents house and get in laws to help out. Do they live near your parents? Could DH stay at home for a bit to help out? .

seven at kitchen! Ours is being fitted on Saturday. Worktops next week. I am so stupidly excited. We haven't emptied te old one yet and now I panicking slightly. My DH is deluded. He thinks it'll take minutes (we have a messy and big kitchen). He also hadn't organised a skip, believing that the people fitting the kitchen will have done. Of course he hadn't checked. I can see the weekend being slightly stressful. How do you guys manage workmen? Do you stay in or leave them to it? It's not something I have much experience with as we've never had the money before to pay people to do things!

Heartburn is now here. Had it horribly last time. I must stick up on antacids. I am also hungry constantly. I am very worried about the weight I must be gaining. I lost 3 lb last week when I'll. I've now put that back on and another 3lbs!!! Wtf?! In just a few days?!

28+1

What is with all the typos! Sorry. Especially all the tense confusion.

Art Hope you feel better soon.Its horrid being ill and pregnant I actually cried a few months ago when I had that cold.

Ng Sorry you are having a rubbish time of it.Are there any childminders or sitters you can use.When I was a single parent I had no one to have the kids and although I've always lived over here its lonely when you can't have a social life and hard with no break.So I would squirrel away a few pound each week and the boys went to a childminder who actually offered over night stays at her house.
How old is your little one?

I have not done my thighs or general weight gain any good.Just back from a cake tasting.Wow the cakes were amazing and that's something now ticked off the wedding to do list.

Westie very interesting about the weighted blankets.My ds1 finds it very difficult to sleep I think he has to clear his head each night before dropping off and go through the days events which can take some time.Also I check in the kids before I go to bed and always have to pull his quilt off from over his head.Even in his sleep he pulls it straight back up and all around him.Ive never thought anything of it before.Hmmm wonder if he would benefit from a weighted blanket.

I love this thread

Hi all. This thread is moving so fast! So many things to recognise and comment on...

I'm back to eating all the time, but only a little at a time. And nauseous if I don't. :(

Ng I know you said you don't know many people locally, but if there's anyone you can ask for help who is local, speaks the local lingo and gets the "system" (more 'how to talk to officials', than knowing the relevant rules), drag them into the relevant offices and get them to sort out your DD's number. That's what it took for me to get anywhere when I had an issue with french bureacracy, and it was all sorted that day... Finally. ;(

It's still cold here, and where they didn't plough/sweep the snow away, it's all compacted into ice. The forecourt of my office building is one big sheet of grubby ice, so I have to wear granny-crampons everywhere. This time of year is what I call "fake weather" because the sun shines brightly on the windows, making me think it's warm, then you step outside and it's actually still bitterly cold. Blah! Very jealous of those who've mentioned anything about spring or warmth.

DS climbed out of his cot for the first time tonight. The standard banging noises from the bedroom turned into bang, bang bang, thump, waaaah, patter patter patter, creak, opening door! I made DH take the side off the cot at 23:30 before I let him shift DS from his half of our bed... We'll see how many times DS rolls over, falls out of bed, wakes up and comes to find us!

I splurged tonight on 3 comforter animals for the LO. We managed to get DS to fix on a comforter animal that's easy to wash and small to transport and we have three of them so one at daycare, one at home, one in the wash/clean. Hope we can do the same for LO, but I'm betting he's going to fix on something non-washable and non-replaceable, just to teach us for being smug about DS's!

Seven can you please PM me about the FB group? Tx

Ah thanks all, it is all a bit difficult because of the fact we are in a tiny village, our fault, we should have bought a house near a town but we didn't and we are stuck!

Having my hair cut on Saturday at Aveda, spoiling myself, so will have a couple of hours rest. Then my DH has agreed to look after DD next Saturday as there are swimming sessions for pregnant ladies at our local pool then. And the weather is hopefully picking up next week, it can't stay like this forever!

Beaut my DD is coming up to 2 in May. Been teething recently so been tough!

Berri any more snow? It is snowing here...agh

Rhienne how old is your DS?