July 2013 thread 4 - keeping the duchess company

[Runswithsquirrels]

No one seems to have started a new thread yet, so here we go!

princessllama-dc3-27th June
CottonSocks - 1st July
QuinandThem - 1st July
Badgerwife - DC2 - 1st July
Cutandstick - 2nd July
Runswithsquirrels - 2nd July
Thinkingof4- DC4 -2nd July
VinegarDrinker - DC2 - 2nd July
Persuasion - 3rd July
esme80 - 3rd july
Glup - 3rd July
emblosion - 3rd July
BB01 - 4th July
Dinkystinky - DC3 - 4th July
elliejjtiny - 4th July
wifey6 - 5th July
Notprincesskate - DC2 - 5 July
OhGood - 5th July
PenguinsInThePantry - 5th July
marmitemad DC2 - 6th July
Gingerpanther27 - 7th July
DifferentNow - DC5 - 7th July
Abzs - DC1 - 7th July
Efme - 8th July
GeorgieWilson - 9th July
shelley72 - 9th -
Devilforasideboard - 10th July
CitizenOscar - DC2 - 10th July
TwoOfThree - DC1 - 10th July
Calmisthemantra - 11th July
Specialknickers - 11th July
MrsMillions - DC1 - 11th July
mysterymeg - 12th July
Reikimummy - 12th July (DC1)
SlouchingPanda - 12th July
Thundercatz - 12th July
Twirliedobbit - DC4 - 12th July
Hai1988 - 14th July
LittleFlower888 - 14th July
Tashtastic - 14th July
Beaditsback - dc2 14th July
Lizincornwall - 15th July
Mizar - 15th July
photographerlady - 15th July
Guavasforbreakfast - DC1 - 16th July
paolocee/donna - 17th July
MiniPenguinMaker - DC1 - 17th July
MrsWildermac - 18th July
TotallyEggFlipped - 18th July
SingingMomma - 18th July
GingerJulep - DC1 - 19th July
Niktasha - 19th July
whitedaffodil - 19th July
Grannyapple DC2 - 19th July
orangebubbles - DC2 - 20th July
Thinking positive thoughts - 20th July
Cheeseandbread - DC1 - 20th July
AmaDablam - DC1 - 21st July
butterflyexperience - 22nd July
BadMissM- DC2- 22nd July
AllYoursBabooshka - 22nd July
Isitme1 - 23rd July
MightBeMad - 23rd July
Supershiv1 - DC1 - 23rd July
Boostar - 24th July
Cantreachmytoes - 24th July
MrsRoss26 - 24th July
Camb79 - 25th July
Sashabella0 - 25th July
BoyMeetsWorld - 27th July
marimama - 27th July
JessicaMLH - DC2 - 27th July
Flyingsprocket - 29th July
SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus - Unknown

Thanks dinky, I will look at getting some of those bags. You would think that in a three bedroomed house with only two of us in it at the moment, we wouldn't have too much trouble making space for one baby, but oooh no, we just seem to have so much stuff! I'm embarrassed to say the family next door seem to manage perfectly adequately in the same size house with three DC's!

I will also bear in mind your wise words when it comes to the Big Day. I'm really in two minds about an epidural. DH is quite against me having one (not because he wants to see me suffer, it's just the whole, "medical procedure when not essential" thing) but of course he will support me with whatever I/medical people feel is necessary on the day. In a way it would be nice to have as little intervention as possible, but I do always think about a friend of mine, who says that the pain of labour was so traumatic that she feels it stopped her from bonding properly with her DS in those first few hours, and for her it would be epidural all the way if she has another. I don't know, I think the only thing you can do, is see how you feel when it all happens, and as you say, do what feels right for you.

Ama I think what scares me the most is forcepts. I have this little worry that an epidural will just make me laid out like a jellyfish out of water unable to push properly or be in charge. I know this could all be completely irrational.

I didn't have an epidural but ended up with forceps anyway. Ironically I am fairly sure in retrospect it was in part due to lack of epidural! He was facing upwards so I had awful pressure from very early on and started pushing way too early when his head was still high up. So I completely exhausted myself and his head remained high. An epidural could have relieved that pressure and may (or may not) allowed his head to come down and rotate first before I started pushing.

Obviously I have no idea of knowing how it would've gone otherwise though! There is overall a slight increased chance of having ventouse/forceps with an epidural, although it is difficult for anyone to claim it is a cause - especially women with long labours/inductions/malpositioned babies are more likely to request epidural, whereas those whose labours go quickly and easily don't have time!

FWIW one of the fastest first time pushing stages I've ever seen was in a woman with an epidural. Wow, could she push!

Oh, and btw, you know what - my forceps delivery was absolutely fine. Small episiotomy, which healed quickly, and no ongoing problems whatsoever.

(I am not an epidural and forceps pusher, honest, I just don't think they always deserve the reputation they get!)

Vine thanks for the reply, I'm just a ball of first-time fears

Hmmm, food for thought vinegar. One of my big fears is having to have an episiostomy without any pain relief. However, I do have it on good authority (mum and a close friend) that there's so much else going on at the time that you don't really notice it! One thing I can say though is that out of all the women I know who have given birth (and I know a fair few, being a fairly latecomer to the club) only one or two have had exactly the kind of birth they'd envisaged, and several have different greatly. Expect the unexpected seems to be the general advice!

Thank you everyone who has shared birth stories. I find it really interesting- our very own OBEM!

I've had a bit of an embarrassing afternoon... After checking out pushchairs in John Lewis with DH, impressively at his suggestion, we then headed to Home Sense. I was really pleased as we found a half price dream genii pregnancy pillow- DH convinced me to test it out on the store floor... Embarrassing enough maybe... Then one of my pupils walks round the corner... Which then starts me doing a mad scrabble on the floor to get up ...

Well I bought the pillow and am hoping for a good sleep tonight!

I hope everyone else's Saturdays are going well.

Oh and me too photographer, absolutely. I'm sure it's perfectly normal, although I don't recall any of my friends seeming this worried!

I'm with you photographer, forceps absolutely terrify me. I have an irrational fear after watching how hard they pull on OBEM that they'll pull the baby's head off . Or at least do some damage to their poor little necks, as they're not even strong enough to hold their own heads up? I know how ridiculous that must sound, and DP as usual thinks I'm crazy, but I just can't get the thought out of my head. Doctors among us, please reassure me that it is impossible...

Hehe cheese just read your pillow on the floor story, cheered me up! And I was worried about a pupil just seeing me in the maternity section of New Look...

Guavas it is impossible, promise. Also, babies are not quite as delicate as they seem!

Ama you wouldn't have an episiotomy with no pain relief, if you have no epidural you are given a local anaesthetic injection (like at the dentist, just not in the same place!)

afternoon - can i ask (though its completely irrelevant to me i think) when you have an epidural, how do you know when to push? can you still feel the urge to push? i do remember telling the MW how rubbish i was at pushing even without an epidural so i wonder how i would get on with one in?

i've had a slightly better day today as DH has been home and i really havent had to do that much at all - he got us a takeaway last night and vacuumed everywhere whilst i nipped round the shops earlier. and i've just woken up from a doze on the sofa. i feel very lazy indeed! and best of all i had a little wonky bump this morning when i woke up .

so. storage bags. any types that are particularly good dinky? i had all of our baby/toddler clothes packed away in these but the bags have split/inflated over time. we also need a big sort out soon!

I know it was 40 years ago but my husband had his eye damaged by a forcep birth, he had surgery at 1 years old but sill calls it his poor little lazy eye. Maybe my fear is from that but head popping off is up there lol. He turned out fine and I am sure vast improvements have been made but still scares me a bit.

I always hear that whatever you think things are different on the day. MN loves reminding me that birth never goes to plan but I still naively wanna have my master plan and research all aspects. I don't think I will feel like a failure if that changes I just want to be informed (pain receive drugs, cut or tear, waterbirth, epidural etc).

i found my birth plan the other day from DS. ha! it did give me a good giggle . i think the only thing that actually went according to plan was to stick to G&A, oh and to have a baby. i think having a plan but no 'set' plan is the best plan IYSWIM. i was far too set on mine and had a real sense of failure after his birth.

i too remember being a complete bag of nerves in pregnancy - think i still am! the only difference now is that i kind of know what to do with a baby once its here. am still learning about stroppy hormonal 5 yo's though!

That's reassuring vinegar, thanks. I think my friend had to have hers without the anaesthetic because it was an emergency situation and my mum's experience is going back to the 1970's so possibly different then. (Or perhaps they were both anaethetitised but just didn't realise it in all the chaos of a traumatic birth)

at your pillow story cheese. I was just looking at them on amazon. Although I'm not at the stage of needing bump support yet, I do keep rolling onto my back and then waking myself up and not getting back into a proper deep sleep because I know I'm supposed to stay on my side! Has anyone tried the Carla Nougat pillow (which comes with a wedge which would hopefully cure the aforementioned problem). I reckon it looks quite good..

shelley the ideal is for it to wear off enough to feel the contractions enough to push. If you have the type where you give your own top-ips, your MW will advise you when to stop topping-up.

Obviously if things go faster than expected that isn't always the case in which case your MW will feel your tummy and use the monitor to help you know when to push.

Photographer something very similar happened to a colleague's husband, he's nearly blind in one eye due to forceps delivery. Probably also where my fear started, doesn't explain the head thing though! Thanks for the reassurance though vinegar! Think I just needed someone to tell me, definitely something I'm too embarrassed to ask in real life...

Just catching up after a few days of reading but not having time to post.

Welcome to all those joining us.

Mini so sorry to hear about your redundancy. I remember when I was made redundant it took me a while to accept it was the post rather than me personally that was no longer needed, but longer term it turned out to be a real blessing. Big hugs

Lovely hearing all the birth stories. Despite having an easy labour on the consultant led ward as the midwife unit was full last time, this time I'm still trying to convince myself the only reason I'm going to hospital when the baby is due is because our windows just aren't big enough for the stalk bringing the baby to fit through

Dinky my DS is 3 today so exactly a year and a day between your DS and mine. Hope you enjoy tomorrow. We've had a fab day.

Hope al those affected by snow are okay, especially those in the states.

Cheese my DH is giving me strange looks as I'm giggling so much at your post.

Mmm pancakes, I can't wait till Tuesday. Shrove Tuesday seems to be the only day I get to eat them!!

Hope you all enjoy your weekend.

Ama I had forceps with DD.
I was induced at 36 weeks for IUGR, but only needed the membranes ruptured, no pessary and no drip. It all happened pretty quickly (under 2 1/2 hours), so I didn't have any time for pain relief. DD became distressed (possibly because it was all happening so quickly), so needed a forceps delivery to get her out fast. The (lovely) Obs Reg injected local anaesthetic so the forceps delivery was fine, but I found the sound of the scissors terrifying (I wasn't convinced the block was going to work). I didn't actually feel any pain.

Cheese - lol at your pillow story. Hope you get a good night sleep with it.

Marie - happy birthday to your DS. Glass he had a good day. Fab Feb babies are lovely aren't they?

For whoever was asking about epidurals and pushing - despite feeling nothing else I felt pressure in my bum - despite 3 top ups from bitch midwife. If she had done a visual the first time I told her I felt something in my bum she would probably have seen I was fully dilated. And I pushed him out despite epidural - just focussed on the area of pressure and when the monitor told me I was having contractions.

Photographerlady and AmaDablam I had an epidural and could still push, etc. I also had ventouse/forceps, which because of epidural, could only feel the fiddling around, not the pain, also meant could not feel episiotomy! (luckily)

DD had totally squished little face, but no lasting damage....

Cheese That's the sort of thing that would happen to me!

Very funny cheese though worth every blush if you sleep through! Are they older or younger kids?! I have very small ones in my class, and currently have my bump rubbed by a couple when they walk near, and some very strange questions at carpet time!
My DP is threatening to sleep on the sofa as my constant tossing and turning has meant very little sleep for either if us. Different mattress last night, and trying different pillow arrangement tonight! I can see a maternity pillow investment coming on!

cheese, made me chuckle. Can you report back in your nights sleep? I'm quite curious about these pillows.

On a serious note, I put in my birth plan that under NO circumstances did I permit the use of Kiellands forceps. They don't assist baby in coming down they rotate baby and there are recorded deaths from use of this type. Please do your own research but I strongly advise you put anything that you don't want to happen in your birth plans and ensure birthing partners are fully briefed.

Morning all. I too am terrified of delivery despite being quite calm last time around. I'm consoling myself with the memory that when you're actually 'in' it, you just sort of get on with it out of necessity.

In advance, forceps feels like an unwanted medical intervention to your planned natural delivery. If you get to the point of discussing their use in labour however, it's because things already aren't going according to your plan, as sometimes they don't and you/baby need help.

In my experience, in that situation you will feel differently and be happy to do whatever it takes to get baby the help he or she needs.

I hope this post is reassuring, it's not meant to be alarming!! I found that faced with situations I hadn't wanted to face, I just felt very strong and prepared to do whatever it took to get my baby out as safely as possible (yes, there are risks to things like forceps, but if baby isn't coming, then that's not ideal either )

Is that at all reassuring??

Ps I had a rotational forceps delivery (not kiellands).

at cheese too!

Happy birthday to dinky's DS

Mmmmm pancake Sunday- what a great idea!