Graduated elderberries

[janey1234]

Hello all..,
Let's clog up a brand spanking new club over here

(By hello all, I guess I mean hello hazle. Hopefully the others will join us soon...)

Hazle it scores 87% in Which's own tests and is on their medium car Best Buys list.

Ooh rache, we should all pay you a commission for feeding us information from Which? [wink}

Oops I mean!

Ooh happy car hunting folks! 4x4s are but a dream for the likes of us inner-city types

Interestingly, I bought our current car based on practicality and needing a car pronto (when Peugeot died), and ended up with a Toyota Yaris. What it lacks in style it more than makes up for in reliability and have now converted OH from being a petrolhead wannabe to a very sensible motorist.

We're looking to swap the 3-door petrol version to a newer, 5-door diesel to make life easier going forward - however, there's a slim chance that OH may be offered a managerial post, which may include a company car, so we're holding off the hunt for now...

Oooh fingers crossed for him brave - would be bloody good timing I'd imagine for you financially at least!

Thanks Janey tell me about it! When we moved into our house in Nov 2011 he'd only just got back into work after 6 months or so out (contracts ending etc). To get this far is amazing - and if he could be the main earner before I go on mat leave, would be sensational timing

Will keep everything crossed for you both.

How people do this in their early 20's (assuming they earn the pittance I did at that age) I'll never know. Things will be comparatively tight for us now, given I'm usually the main wage earner, but can't imagine what it would have been like a decade ago...

I'm just smirking to myself how you lot on here are just like my mates at home. Most of the main earners in their households are the women as well. Girl power an all that. I almost feel sad that I aren't the main earner in mine.

Brave over the years my company cars have always been Toyotas and as much as they wouldn't necessarily be my car of choice, I have never had a single thing go wrong with any of them. They really do go forever!

Yes if any of you want me to paste a Which? review for you just fire away! It will make me feel I am getting value for money from my subscription!

Hi girlies
I'm still here but have been so busy and miserable at work I've not had a chance to even pee sometimes. I was 14 weeks yesterday and the cat is almost out of the bag now. Lots of people know and I can no longer fit in my uniform.
Sorry I've not read thread but I'm off to dancing class in a vain attempt to keep fit!
Hope you are all well. We don't seem to have had anyone join us?

Hi Lol! What's your uniform like, would the belt extenders and bump bands work?

I've discovered a secret - as some others, instead of neat bump I have this annoying double-bump going on. Put on a pair of tights this morning that are too big, so could pull them up all the way under the bra and voila, a beautifully formed smooth bump (and waistband not digging in)! So that's the purpose of those Mama Spanx! Need to get some..

Yep it all got a tad weird in the old thread for a while, things have calmed down a bit now.

We are trying to 'study' but slacked a bit in Dec and Jan due to illness and OH feeling the pressure so hoping Feb is full of action lol.

Hoping to join you soon, take care

(creeps out back to where she belongs)

Well OBEM was another classic last night! The Midwife said those 8 words most feared by labouring women worldwide; "I am going to make the cut now." Aarrgghhhh!

One Midwife did raise a good point at the end though about services becoming stretched since the sudden popularity of 50 Shades of Shit Grey in the middle of last year. I had heard there was an increase in conception rates last Summer attributed to the feel good factor of the Olympics, Queen's Jubilee etc., and I had thought that was a load of rubbish as watching the Queen freezing cold on a boat on the Thames in the rain did not make me want to take DH to bed for a good seeing to and neither did winning Olympic medals. But it's not that at all, it's 50 Shades of Grey to blame!
So because all these women with previously crap sex lives suddenly got the horn from a couple of rubbish erotic books (I haven't read them so please correct me if I'm wrong and they're actually a work of literary genius), it means our baby will be born at a boom time and we will probably have to fight harder than usual for childcare places, school places, local services, etc., and I find it quite annoying!

Ok, rant over! How is everyone today? I am on night 3 with my special pregnancy u-shaped pillow and wedge. Results so far are I threw it out of bed the first 2 nights and slept on it last night but woke up about 10 times. It's not going well. I hope a comfortable position becomes more apparent as the bump gets bigger!

I'm saving them all up on sky+ rache - worryingly my DP gets a bit squeamish when watching it so I have to catch him on a good day! All I can say is better a cut than a rip though...

I am ashamed to admit that I have read 50 shades of shit. My lovely friends surprised me to a week in Marbella last May, and I borrowed them off a friend and read them there. They were, I have to say, probably THE WORST books I have ever read, but despite kind of hating them, I felt obliged to finish all three, just in case they suddenly improved or something. But they didn't; if anything, they got worse. And they weren't even trashy holiday reading because parts of it made me so angry; every time she mentioned her 'inner goddess' I wanted to stab someone. The only redeeming thing about them all was that one friend kept reading the rudest bits out, as they were so bloody awful, and we'd all be crying tears of laughter at how appalling they were.

Anyway point being I agree with you: if the baby boom that will affect us and our children is due to those shitty books it makes me feel a bit sad that we might be tarred with the same brush!!

Oh, and I haven't slept well at all for the last three nights due to only being able to sleep on my right hand side (lying on back is out as it makes me feel a bit sick, and can sleep on my left due to my immobile and agonising left shoulder). Argh, I'm useless with no sleep - how will I cope with a baby?!

Janey have you seen Dara O'Briain's stand up show where he's talking about cuts vs tears in childbirth? He says he and his wife were at an NCT class where the woman taking the class actually told the class a tear is better than a cut because it heals better (obviously utter rubbish). He then turned to his wife who is a surgeon and suggested in future she maybe uses a wild bear to make the first incision in surgery

Ha that's hilarious! I thought the advantage of a cut was that you could control where it was? I've got friends who tore from front to back (ouch) and read on here about someone who tore upwards - tearing their clitoris?!!!

I know I would prefer a 'controlled' cut!

I have tried to read the first one of the 50 shades of shit. It's horrible, truly horrible. When she said "oh my, holy cow" the 65th time, I gave up, otherwise might have damaged my kindle.

Dara O'Briain - Tear or Cut? Well worth a watch. In fact the whole of that show is because it's mainly about him and his wife becoming new parents.
Which brings me to the NCT classes? Do you think they're worthwhile or a waste of money? I think they're about £300 for 15 hours, which is a hell of a lot if you mainly want to meet other new parents (which seems to be why many people do them). There are many council-run post birth classes, like baby massage, baby sensory, etc., which are probably just as good for meeting new parents and are very cheap or free. I am an obsessive Googler and I just can't see what the NCT can teach me which Google and MN can't. The exception to this is possibly breast feeding which seems to be a bit hit and miss for some mothers and might need a support group for when you feel like giving up!

Lol - everywhere I look, people are declaring pregnancies. I'm dreading my precious first born being tarred with the 'your parents lurrrrve Christian Grey' brush. Especially as I refuse, on principle, to go anywhere near them!

Fortunately, no-one has had the audacity to ask if it is a 50 shades baby yet. But everyone has made some comment about competing with Kate Middleton.

I'm a big fan of OBEM - but have to watch on 4OD when I get an hour to myself as OH refuses to watch it.

On the subject of NCT/Antenatal classes - will everyone be going and taking OH with them? Was looking at booking mine the other day and asked OH if the evening or Saturday mornings would suit him better and he said 'why are you asking me? I don't want to come'.

Don't know why, but this made me really really upset. He is my only source of support up here and I could do with him being there as he'll be there on The Day. He was saying things like 'I thought the idea was that you went to make friends, how would you make friends if I'm there?' to which I said, it's part of it, but you could make new friends too and he replied 'what do I want new friends for? I've got plenty as it is'

Not broached it since but not a happy bear

X post Rache - we're very lucky in the city that I live as the PCT pays for everyone within the city boundaries to have free sessions with a specialist antenatal care provider which are meant to be really good. They also run a specialist cafe with lots of baby-friendly breastfeedy type groups which is really close to where I live - ten minutes walk with buggy in tow!

I've booked up NCT classes. I really wasn't sure, especially as I might go for an elcs (the post-35 birth stats are scaring me, as is the fact my Dad was over 10lb and my 93 year old nan was begging me at the weekend to have one, saying "it wasn't the size of him Janey, it was the size of his head". Oh and the 2 x paed consultants and 1 x GP in my immediate family think I should due to the higher risk of stillbirth the nearer you get to 40 - and I quote " we don't want you going anywhere near full term").

Anyway, I asked one of my best mates whether it was worth it, and this was her response:

Definitely still do them! Worth it in case you go into labor early and it all happens quickly, they also talk about breastfeeding nappy changing etc which is really great for the guys in particular.

But even without all that it would be worth it for the group of people you will meet. Honestly, it is invaluable and we have made such good friends that I still see on a weekly basis on a Friday, and we have regular meets up on weekends as well.

The early days were really tough because of a variety of reasons, but knowing I had that weekly meet up (although it was often more than that) meant that I always knew I could talk to someone going through the same stage.

So I've signed up and paid the money, and DP has said OK to coming too.... Think it would have upset me if he had refused to come - so understand where you're coming from brave- I'm not overly happy about him trying to avoid watching OBEM!

I'm taking the local classes here and yes DH will most certainly be coming. As I'm going back to work after the ridiculously short maternity leave and he will be the SAHD, he'd better be there.

He is currently happily reading parenting books - yesterday about how new mothers know babies better, as they spend so much more time with them and working dads should understand how mum might be reluctant to leave the baby alone with dad. "Oh, but it will be the opposite in our case, won't it?" says he. It probably will, I would be the one pushed aside because I won't know how to change the nappy the right way.

But I digress.

Anyway, I've read a lot of stories and comments here about those NCT classes. Some people have found them really useful, some say it's mosty talk about whale song and how you're a failed mother if you need any pain relief or assistance. Would be horrible to end up in the latter group. Any way to find out about the teahcer of your particular group beforehand?

Agreed hazle. I mailed my teacher and said that I might be (shock, horror) choosing an elective cesarean, and she said that lots of people either choose them or end up having them, so they cover that in detail the class as well as lots of other content that would be relevant to me (and listed it all). I think some teachers try to push doing it all naturally, possibly after taking a couple of paracetamol if you're a complete wimp, but she sounded much more like the kind of woman I might listen to and learn from. My friend said the breast feeding class really helped too, and I think it's good that both her and her DH have close friends amongst the group....

Oh, and hazle I am sure you won't be pushed aside. I think it's partly because they're often at home to begin with, but nothing can beat the bond you will have from carrying him/her, giving birth, breast feeding etc. So your DC will be lucky enough to have two parents that have bonded incredibly well with it during those first few months

Hmmm, i'm really not sure.

This is not DH's first baby so I very much doubt he'll want to attend as it seems he was pretty hands on first time round, although that was 7 years ago.

I just can't work out whether they'll be beneficial for me or not? I'm not that bothered about meeting other new mums as 2 of my close friends and my Sister are all having babies between April and June so I don't think I will be short of maternity mates to moan at, so it just boils down to what they can actually teach me that I don't already know? I am definitely interested in doing some breastfeeding groups but I don't know whether that alone is worth doing 15 hours of NCT for or whether I should look at other local groups?

Decisions, decisions!