Over 30 first time mums to be club.

[photographerlady]

I do not know if all the pregnant women over 30 leave work and lock themselves away but I feel bit lost in groups (Facebook pregnancy groups are a nightmare) talking work, pregnancy, commuting, buying mistakes and going through the biggest change of my life with no one in a similar situation. So any 30+ first time mums to be out there?

Hormones are ridiculous, as is lack of appetite.. Just cried in a Toby Carvery because there weren't any boiled potatoes, then was only able to eat my peas and Yorkshire. Had to leave everything else. This better not continue for next 30 weeks.

• should add that I was able to laugh at this, but this only had the effect of making me look even more mad.

Thanks hazel and massagegirl, I will check out Gap and H&M.

Mayanbob, hope you get your appetite back soon. Being in a carvery and not being able to eat everything is like my worst nightmare.

Teapig I'm not really in maternity clothes yet but I did have a browse in H&M and they do seem to have a reasonable selection and quite cheap as well. It seems that not many shops stock maternity in-store and only do it online, which is too much of a faff for me as I can't be bothered to send stuff back and if there's one time in my life that I want to try stuff on before buying it's now!

May I have been quite pleased that I haven't been too emotional so far but there have been a few moments. I embarrassingly spent the whole of DSD's Nativity wanting to cry and having to suck it back up. I was really red-faced by the end. Personally I think potatoes are a serious matter!

Mayan the laugh/ cry hit me pretty much in 4th month. Can't remember one reason for crying now. (anyone else got pregnamemory fog?) It just hits you doesn't it? The hormones are crazy. I also started having incredible dreams about people in my past as if I was saying goodbye to an old life.
We are going through an incredible thing!

teapig I got h&m over the bump skinny jeans to start with and found some really comfy jegging things in the mamas & papas sale. I also found pretty tops, some work trousers n dresses in mothercare. Bigger size tops are often just as good as maternity & where I live there are NO shops with matwear so had to go with nearest shops available. Online great if you know right size. Oh New Look ok for tops too.

I was suddenly really bloated from early on and didnt have a baby bump for while but water retention was so ridiculous that I looked big straight away and people would say so but it just felt like jelly belly to me. I ate more in 1st tri too and felt fat. Now have lovely bump ( and a fairly big bum-don't care now but was strange adjusting to changes early on. ) Not at proper waddling stage yet.

Hi there. 32 (33 in March) 28 weeks today with my first and expecting a giant baby boy, apparently.

Hello all, I'm 32 at the end of Feb, 9 weeks today with my first!
First time posting in a forum, I've decided not to tell anyone just yet (apart from here) until after the scan.
Booking appt on the 25th not had a lot of symptoms really apart from being extremely bloated!
Gave up smoking before Christmas and can't bare the thought of ever having one again which is great news, oh and food has never tasted better.
Hope everyone's well

Hi First and Jsa and welcome!

Wow, I bet you're looking forward to birthing a giant, Jsa

I'm really not, he's got a giant head to match! (That's my OH's fault) they will check again at 31 weeks and if he's still measuring big I'll be referred to a consultant. Fingers crossed he doesn't grow anymore, I'm only small!

congratulations to all the new mum's to be. I wish I could relax and stop worrying so much, I have convinced myself something terrible has happened and we will get bad news on Thursday at our 20 week scan. still not felt any movement and although I think I have a small bump I dont think it has changed in the last couple of weeks.

Curlycaz - I didn't feel anything for sure until 20, apparently it depends on the position of the placenta, if it's at the front you apparently feel movements less. Good luck for your scan

Welcome to the new joiners!

Thanks for the tips on maternity wear, I will check out H&M today.

Olympic I know what you mean about memory fog, I keep forgetting small things. Often walk into a room and can't remember what I was going to do. Baby brain is officially here.

curly don't worry about not feeling movement. Plenty of people don't feel it until later on. As jsa says it can depend on the position of the placenta. I have an anterior placenta and because it's at the front it's cushioning lots of movement so I can't feel it. I first felt movement at about 24 weeks and had scare last week when I hadn't felt any for a day. Got it checked out and baby was moving loads, I just couldn't feel it. Good luck with your scan sure it will be fine and amazing to see baby.

Hello all, 33 and on my first, and currently 22+5. I don't feel like an 'older mum' at all! Possibly because I'm in London and lots of friends are also in their 30s and professional workers, so it's quite common for us to all be waiting until we're a bit further on.

Still working FT, expecting fully to go back (although want to take a year off - can't afford it but sod that. It's not as if it'll be something I'll regret later on).

Feeling fine, but work is pretty tiring at the best of times with long hours etc (been in the office 10 hours already today, no lunch break, it's Saturday...blah). Looking forward to finishing up around the 37/38 week mark although someone just told me today their wife worked right up until the day before her due date on both pgs!

won't catch me doing that....

Hi Beaver, I hope you have now made it home from work?!

I am also planning to take a year off and I suspect it will go way too fast. I would also like to go back part time initially but I haven't mentioned that yet so I will have to see how that little chat goes!

These days I see an 'older' Mum as 40+ and even that's relatively common nowadays. Most of my friends have waited until they were in their 30's before they had their first baby as they were much more settled both financially and emotionally and had spent the whole of their 20's getting pissed and having a good time.

Also planning on a year off and going back for three days, again not sure how that little gem will go down with work. I've always been one of the committed ones! Working up till 38 weeks (10 weeks to go and counting), not struggling too much at the moment but it helps that my commute is a five min walk. The tiredness does hit me as soon as I get home. Am looking to drop down to a nine day fortnight as of Monday as I've still got so much to do!

I'm abroad. There's no maternity leave before birth, only with doctor's note. 3 months maternity leave, that's it.
And I'm originally from a country where the parental leave (so either mum and dad can take it) is 3 years, 1,5 years with full pay - quite a difference.

I shall be taking 6 months mat leave. Have booked 11 days before that so roll on mid March! So much to do before then though! My OH is then taking on the rest of my mat leave, so doing 3 months at home and then hoping to negotiate to 3 days pw (fx!) as my job have made it clear they don't see how I could perform my role PT.

When to start on maternity is an interesting one for me. I had assumed I would work until 38 weeks, but had an informal chat with HR where they informed me I will have to take all of my holiday leave plus bank holidays if I am planning on returning in a different financial year (which I am) before starting on actual maternity. If I say I will start maternity later and then the baby arrives early then any remaining holidays will be lost, and based on holiday pay being much more than maternity pay it would be silly to end up losing some.

All this means I will probably be finishing at around 32 weeks with 8 long, boring weeks still to wait

Oh I'd love to finish early and just potter around and shop for babystuff

Part time also not an option for me, but I might be able to negotiate some work from home, maybe one day per week or so at least for a few months.

Welcome beaver.

I'm planning to finish work at about 37 weeks. I'm taking a few weeks holiday and planning to start my maternity leave the week of baby's due date, unless our little one has other ideas and arrives early. I get paid for any holiday I don't take so I'm trying not to take very much as it will help us out finanically.

I'd love to take the year but not sure whether we can afford it as I'm the main earner. I think we'll decide when baby has arrived and we've had a few months of getting used to there being three of us. I think I just need to let work know 2 months before I want to go back so no need to make a decision yet.

I'd also love to go back part-time. My ideal scenario would be to work compressed hours, squeezing a four day week into three days with two days in the office and one from home. I doubt work will let me but fingers crossed. Again planning to cross that bridge later on.

Hope everyone has had lovely relaxing weekends. DH has started painting the nursery, I can't wait to furnish it and get loads of cute stuff.

I changed my name, from jsherriff. I still haven't had a scan, so I'm going to ask the dr to chivvy the hospital - I need DATES! I also need to see that it's real, although there are definitely some signs - I had to get off my bike cycling up a very small hill, due to itchy skin which was a bit weird. Anyone else had itchy skin when exerting themselves? I made the mistake of trying to run for a bus last week and felt ill all evening. I'm keen to see that everything is ok, since I didn't know about it for so long and didn't do any of the things you are supposed to do in the first 12 weeks or so.

I've had fluctuating weight over the years so I'm currently wearing my 'fat' trousers and hoping that I will be given some secondhand maternity clothes quite soon. (I'm a nanny, so there is a good chance!)

I've had a nice relaxing weekend camping after a manic temp job last week (4 children!) so although the cycling was hard, it did feel like a rest. The only dificulty was making myself get out of a nice warm sleeping bag to go across a frosty field to a loo at 3am! Not something I've often had to worry about, previously.

Morning ladies, I'm still feeling pretty good but Crickey Moses am I weeing! I drink a pint of milk and a cup of tea in quick succession yesterday and went to the loo about 5 times in the next hour! Still it's all very exciting.

I'm a bit worried about the weather though. I walk about 15 mins to work and I'm frightened I'm going to fall over - not the most elegant at the best of times! Are walking boots better than wellies do you think?

Hetty I think you need footware with really good grips. No snow or ice where I am at the moment but when my SIL was pg she wore crampons and apparently they were fantastic.

I think walking boots are much better than wellies - I wear walking boots or shoes almost all the time. If it gets very bad you can get Yak-Trax that fit over your boots and are slightly less industrial than crampons! I'm off to get my flu jab in a minute - no doubt to shock the nurse with my advanced age !

Hi Everyone, you will be pleased to know that there have been no more potato crying incidents. Although I now cry at that stupid coca-cola advert with the CGI polar bears. Have just got back from spending the weekend with DH at the Lakeside Darts -Epic, tiring but fun. not nearly as fun sober

JSA and first welcome!!!

cyclecamper YES to itchiness when over exerting (although not to your cycle/ running standards) particularly on my boobs

Hetty I have walking boots which have served me well in the past... but crampons sound a wise decision given the tendency for pregnancy wobbles.

Re: when to finish for work... I haven't really thought about it that much (though this is assuming I'll have a job - work for Probation Service which has just gone tits up- HURRAH )... my current role involves some risk and a lot of stairs, so think I may take 4 weeks leave prior to leaving at 38 weeks... I base this on no other consideration than just choosing some numbers right now.

Still no scan date, but holding out till booking appointment on Thursday. eeeek!