I've done a few phone call births in my time 
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Basically, ring 999 if the baby is coming - they will honestly talk you through everything! The baby will come on its own, you don't need to touch or do anything, just let it deliver itself with hands poised to pick the baby up! Keep the baby attatched to the cord, and put the baby skin to skin, and cover mum and baby very warmly. If the baby isn't breathing, rubbing the baby with clean dry towels to stimulate is the best way to start them. Very unlikely this would be needed though, as usually babies born this way cry with gusto at birth! If this didn't do the trick, the 999 operator will tell you exactly what to do. Giving birth without medical attendance needn't be a scary thing. Obviously it isn't ideal! But, sometimes they just come a bit quicker than planned!
999 is the first port of call though! They will answer and give correct advice quicker than the labour ward phone, which may not have someone near it to answer at the time, or may be someone unqualified on the other end.
I'm achy :( Not in a good way! I want to go to bed, but I slept badly last night, so trying to keep awake now so I can have a full nights sleep tonight!
Parents afternoon was interesting DS achieves what his targets are, but just doesn't push himself! I've bribed him. I hope it works 
. He is just like his mother sadly... does well without effort, could do even better if puts mind to it. Hmmm! I can't blame him, I've sailed through on good enough when it comes to academic work my whole life. I don't tell him that though .
Told him i'll give him £25 per level 5 he gets at the end of year 6. Going to ask his Dad to do the same - so he could get £150. His eyes nearly popped out his head!