Here come the PESH - over 3 years of hard fought baby wins!

[HaveALittleFaith]

The Not-list:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25 2010.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 2010.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8 2010.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24 2010.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29 2010.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July 2010.
Carrots, boy, born July 2010.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July 2010.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5 2010.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7 2010.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10 2010.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2 2010.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1 2010.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2 2010.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11 2010.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12 2010.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13 2010.
Lightspaperstandback, boy, born Nov 14 2010.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24 2010.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5 2011.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7 2011.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb 2011.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb 2011.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb 2011.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb 2011.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February 2011.
Casserole, girl, born 19th March 2011.
Medee, girl, born 26th March 2011.
StiffyByng, girl, born 17th May 2011.
Scorpette, boy, born 21st May 2011.
Rocketleaf, girl, born 23rd May 2011.
TwinkleToes, girl, born 7th June 2011.
Laurielou, boy, born 9th June 2011.
Orchid, girl, born 24th June 2011.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, girl, born 24 July 2011.
Mrbitey, boy, born 29th July 2011.
Macaroonmum, boy, born 28th July 2011.
Owlbooty, boy, born 18th August 2011.
Ocarina, girl, born 6th September 2011.
Mountie, boy, born 27th August 2011.
Truffkin, boy, born 25th November 2011.
Islegrin, boy, born 14th December 2011.

Need dates:

BarbiesBeaver, can't quite believe it, due Christmas Day
BrownB, Baybee passport-grabbing bitch, due 22nd January 2012
AlpinePony, Greedy Double-Esh Baybee Boy Grabbing Bitch, due 19th Feb 2012
Rollerbaby, No pink here, expecting boy due March 20th 2012
KitandKat, third time lucky baybee, due 12th April 2012
IveBeenExpectingYou (CockDodger), A very active baby girl, due March 28th 2012
Silver, hoping for an easier sneeze, due mid-July 2012
Starryeyedmole, regretting recently investing in scales

cakeandcava (32), approaching walrus proportions, DC1 EDD 21/10/12
blonderthanred (36), no sugar I'm sweet enough, DC1 EDD 6/11/12
FriendofDorothy (36) DC1 EDD 16/12/12
LauraPalmer (38) DC1 EDD 9/2/13
Queenrollo (37) DC2 EDD 10/2/13
CamelKnees (34) fat and fatigued DC2 EDD 22/04/2013
HaveALittleFaith (31), head down toilet, DC1 EDD 26/4/13
fertilityFTW (34), weepy and whiny, DC 1 EDD 21/5/13

Welcome to our new home! :)

I know it's difficult not to tempt fate etc and I am very, very aware that many ESH have had losses over the years and obviously I don't want to detract from that at all but it is not their fault and definitely not because we opened a book! :) it's because sometimes the universe is just crappy :( there's no rhyme or reason to these things.

dor you shouldn't be ironing on a Saturday anyway! I hope your back improves with the Physio.

Oh I just felt a bit panicked because my wee was pink. But then I remembered I ate loads of beetroot earlier! :)

True enough. I have to say that threads on MN though have really blown me away with the magnitude of what women go through and how much they are capable of - so many inspiring ESHs out there. I guess generally people tend to keep most things to themselves, everyone carries their own universe around with them and you don't even realise. I hope the universe chooses to bless this thread with good health and happiness (and wiggling baybees).

I have tried not to talk about my diffage too much on the BESH thread, only really post to offer support. They seem to be having such tough time lately and I'm particularly conscious of drizz having had a due date close to mine. As it approaches I will certainly have to keep my distance. I don't get why it's so tough for some people? Our journey was bad enough but nothing compared to some people's.

I have been the same. Whilst I haven't avoided the BESH thread I have tried hard not to be on there too much. People were very supportive right at the beginning though when I thought it was all going wrong!

It's very delicate isn't it? You want to be there for them and also encourage them that people actually do get diffed and have ok pregnancies but you don't want to rub faces in it. I luff them all so much!

It's very hard, but I know that I appreciated people who came back so I could see it is possible for things to work out!

Exactly dor. Delicate balance.

Mmmm milk.i luff milk. Tis the drink of the Gods :)

i feel the same about the BESH. I find too that the thread can move so fast and I don't like to comment without reading back properly.

I have started having awful dreams. Was woken by one in the early hours and couldn't get back off, then DS came in and woekme up early (after I'd finally nodded off into deep sleep). I feel utterly dreadful.

Might be going up the castle over near faith later today as there is a big Heritage Crafts Fair on and a friend is working it. Will see if I perk up or not....

I still read all the BESH threads and still commented in the first months of my pgy but in the last few months esp with those who came here but sadly had to return, it would sound too hollow for me to chip in.

Still think of them all every day though and check in hoping for a win. Although not sure anyone would want me nekkid dancing round them right now.

Well I had a major meltdown this morning. We had a miscommunication about what we were doing about breakfast. That became an argument, then we argued about the argument I style find it disconcerting because MSB shouts at me :( when he never used to (presumably its the testosterone?). Anyway we have talked it through, I have calmed down but I feel wrung out! We are having a quiet day at home, currently watching Avengers Assemble.

aww faith I blame the big harvest moon that was looming in the sky last night. I'm always very teary and operating on a shorter fuse when the moon is big.
I had a meltdown last night, build up of stuff really. Justified on both sides, but when you are hormonal and tired etc it's harder to keep a rational grip I think. I took myself off to the bedroom and had a good cry.

Aww, hope you're feeling better now faith - Avengers is surely a cheer me up movie!

DH has hardly slept all night (gaming!) but has clearly been feeling some sort of guilt/had some sort of epiphany as he went into a rage clean mode today (presumably due to my mumbling and bumbling about for days on the need for a serious clean around here and how some help would be nice!) - he was in such a state that FTDog and I have been quietly hiding in the outhouse and staying out of his way - can't complain though, starting to smell awfully fresh and clean around here. Hope he decides to take a nap soon or he'll crash and burn. Eep. What was that about women and their mood swings then...?

I did but then he came in again! We talked things through. A lot of it relates to how I feel about work- not really needed, unpopular, unwanted! - and realised some of it harks back to childhood! I had a hard time making (and keeping) friends. Much as I loved (and miss) my Mum, she was a bit blunt. Once she admitted that while she always loved me, age didn't always like me I wonder why I have self-esteem issues!

I try to focus on the friends I do have now (true friends) and recognising that at work they are colleagues, not friends, but it does hurt when you find out people have been bitching about you being your back (especially when it's hypocritical!). All of this makes me feel vulnerable at the best of times, let alone now I'm diffed. MSB has suggested I request counselling. I've thought about it a lot. Maybe it would help.

I am enjoying chilling on the sofa under my slanket. Do you feel better now you've had it out and had a good cry queenie?

Well at least it'll be clean ftw! Poor dog though. I will be cleaning when I'm on leave. Seriously, can't wait!

Yes these hormones - irony being I said I MSB this morning I don't think my mood swings have been that bad

From all the trails you've left on MN, I'd say they're all jealous faith - you sound absolutely luffly! It's hard if you're an introvert when the world seems to reward the loud ones banging away on their drums, but there's a lot to be said for depth and sensitivity and being able to offer a word of comfort and suspend judgement - all of which comes across in your posts. I think your true friends are very lucky :)

Aw you've made me well up! That's really luffly of you to say.

Honestly? I guess I can be about blunt - in some ways MN gives me time to compose and think through my posts in a way I can't do in RL! But I think some of the people I work with are just unpleasant people! I did progress quickly at work which some people were a bit about but frankly, I saw an opportunity and went for it. I never actually expected to get it! I struggled with one in particular and wasn't sure if I was me or her. As soon as my colleague came back, she commented on how aggressive she was. I recognise she is very aggressive but it's up to me how I take her. I've let her be like that with me, my colleague was like Well I'm not bring treated like that! I think I'll ask the GP for a counselling referral while I'm on leave.

I had CBT for a while, (clinical depression and anxiety in my 20s - all tied up to self esteem issues and trying to please all of the people all of the time) - it really helped to talk out loud in a considered way with an unbiased observer, you don't even need them to say anything really, just having the chance to give voice to your thoughts and work them out openly brings a lot of perspective. I do envy people who think like your colleague though and don't stand for it - kinda why I love the ESHes so much!

Interestingly, she isn't hugely 'popular' and had private counselling for a long time to get to that state of mind!

Rather conveniently the physio appointment was brought forward to this morning.

She has confrmed that I have Pelvic Girdle Pain which is related to Hypermobility Syndrome. My pelvis was misligned by about an inch and half so she has put that back into place, but it hurts more than ever now - she said this is normal and it should ease.

She has also ordered me an attractive looking back brace type thing.

Oh my colleague has that dor (you know, the one who talks about being diffed all the time). I'm impressed you've been carrying on at work - age had about 3 months off! Sorry it's ouchy now but hopefully it'll ease soon.

I feel a bit better today damn hormones just looking forward to my leave!

Ouch! That sounds painful Dor - I hope the brace helps. My carpal tunnel seems to have magically disappeared no doubt to come back with a vengeance when I least expect it!

I understand how you all feel re. popping in on the BESH fred - for some reason it makes me feel guilty. Although I read it religiously I didn't post one comment on the Woo fred. So today I forced myself to visit the new one - but I still felt off, you know?

Okay - here's something really weird, but Grublet's squirmings are actually kind of freaking me out - it feels so strange at times! Anyone else think it's a freaky feeling?? (Don't get me wrong - I love it because it's him and now that I feel him regularly I no longer need to obsessively Doppler his heartbeat every day but it's such a strange sensation!)

I am determined not to have time off work. I really don't want to have to start mat leave or anything too early.

I am absolutely wiped out today and I still have a choir practice tonight! :(

Oh the back brace doesn't sound fun Dor but hopefully that and the physio will help.

I am WELL poorly sick. My mum had to bring stew... I may as well wallow in it as I guess it's my last chance to be a baby myself! Do feel rubbish though. Cotton wool head, razor blade throat. Was supposed to go in for last day at work but had to put off till tomorrow. Annoying as need to get on with baybee stuff.