November 2012 - the ten week countdown

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1547119-November-2012-a-couple-of-early-arrivals-please-will-the-rest-stay-put

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Thanks dh that's where I keep looking. We were going to go for the cheapest one with a rocking stand.

It does sound like a thorough consultant ditsy. I am sure of there had been anything to worry about they would have contacted you.

YW good luck with your DH's chat with inlaws. It sounds like he will need to be a tough cookie. I have no idea what will happen with our parents. With my sister being due two weeks after me there is a real likelihood we will overlap. She is the younger and I am happy for my parents to go to her. They are coming to us for Christmas so they will get plenty of cuddle time. My MIL is pretty opinionated but, this far, her delight at a grandchild means I am the golden girl. I have tested her a wee bit with back to work chat, feeding chat and water birthing chat - all received no response other than total agreement with me - bizarre!

YW my complete sympathies. After being told a month long stay in Ireland over christmas (with a potentially week old baby) was totally out of the question, MIL and FIL decided they will come and stay with us. Their inconsiderateness never fails to stagger me: their last self invited impromptu visit was the day before we moved. I have no problem with them visiting if they stay in a hotel and short visits are just that. DH not quite got the balls to tell them I don't want them in the house for that long. It's not that they won't be helpful, I just have my own way of doing things and couldn't cope with them being here and not being able to be the perfect host. DH hopefully getting 6 weeks off work (2 weeks paternity, 2 weeks leave and 2 weeks over christmas) plus whatever holiday he can clock up before then to tag on so I will have plenty of support. Plus both sets of my parents (ignoring the fact my dad and stepmum will be just as uselsss as your inlaws) are both within 10 miles of us and my mum at least will be brilliant. Maria will be a fantastic support for you yw - is there anyway you can tell them something along the lines of you asked her first and there'd be no room for them to stay as well? Or - like my back up plan if they STILL don't take no for an answer - book them into a bnb in shetland!

DH gone to bed with a migraine. Tonight is his first night onshore for 10 days and was looking forward to spending time with him. Feeling guilty it might be my fault for using mature cheddar in his sandwiches at lunchtime (one of the many poss triggers). And even worse that I just want to shout at him for being pathetic and ruining our evening, but I will keep my hormonal outbursts to myself

Ditsy I had to see the consultant at 24 weeks (I think) just as a standard check up of who was in his care as Stunt suggests - its probably nowt to worry about. V true VQ - FIL has Parkinsons which is really tough but he won't do anything to help himself though he is perfectly capable - like he wouldn't even make a cuppa. When they stayed with us earlier this summer - because he's a piglet who constantly snacks, and we had no snacks in the house otherwise fat preggers heffer would demolish them - he managed to motivate himself to make cheese scones for a snack on the wood fired range (baking on which is a task in itself!). But only for himself you understand. So yeah not exactly who we want around. Also he's from the generation who the minute there is a hint of boob will just stare at it.... sigh BFing will be great won't it! Am so not wanting to have to take myself off to our bedroom to do it when I'm in our home and feeding our baby.

Hmm see MM1 I think they wouldn't mind booking themselves into a self catering holiday cottage (there are loads up here), they did that this summer as we hadn't finished the spare room when they descended - they just booked into a cottage and stayed there at night but were round at ours from 8 am til 10 pm every day, which I'm sure they would be again. Expecting full catering. So even though they wouldn't be staying with us - they virtually would be.

And our house is wee, if my sis and Willow were here too - there literally wouldn't be comfy seats for everyone and knowing them - it would be me or DH told to sit on the floor as we're 'hosts'.

So yeah not a sodding chance they are coming here until Junior is at least 3 weeks old, BFing is established and we know what we are doing. My Mum died when I was a teenager so I know they just think they are being helpful. But really they are just someone else to look after. They are both really overweight and literally can't make a cup of tea without huffing and puffing and making me think they are going to keel over. (Am a bitch I know). Also FIL can't grasp that Orkney isn't down south - that he can't get a Chinese takeaway, that the supermarkets aren't open 24 hours and that the wee shops don't stock all of his favourite snacks. So it'll just set my teeth on edge every time he's in a sulk because 'well in Kent we can get that at any time of the day or night...'

MM1 tell DH to get well soon from his migraines and then to call his Mum and inform her that you'll not have room for house guests! (good luck, it's not fun is it?)

All of mine and dh's family are v local to us, inc siblings. So we get a constant stream of visitors for the first week or so then that's it. Tbh I don't mind as long as they don't all come at once or outstay their welcome if I'm tired.

Mine are the same dh21 apart from my dad and his wife who live in France, but they will probably visit when baby is a couple of weeks old. I feel for those of you who have in laws descending on you and staying over. yw I wouldn't be able to bite my tongue if any negative comments were made about breastfeeding, especially in my own home. That would make me v

I don't think having a baby shower is like asking for presents, it's just a nice chance to have a girly get together, and I don't get many of those

Bloody hell, I haven't even posted on this thread yet and there's already 356 posts!!
Been in the Cotswolds at a wedding all weekend, it was lovely but tiring.

Going to catch up on the thread, I'll be back in 320 10 mins

Kissyfur I don't reckon I'll be able to bite my tongue either - cue fall from grace as 'beloved daughter in law' hey ho. Time they met my shouty side I suppose!

We're quite lucky that both family's are all quite close by and we both quite open and honest with families and have already said that we want a few days at home to settle in before we have endless streams of visitors. Hope those with in law problems sort everything soon

my parents will be coming over from Belgium too, possibly first weekend of December, I'm due 18th, this little one better not be late. At least they're not coming for DD1's birthday which is Halloween... cause that would stress me big time... knowing you can go into labour any day and having them around.
We're thinking of going over there for New Year so all my family which can't come over (my grandparents and such) can meet baby... depends whether we'll have her passport by then!

Does anyone find that a man can't say no to his mommy? Its always a big deal.

My DM wanted to come for 3 weeks when the baby is due and i told her no, 10 days tops (we live in a 1 bed flat, can barely fit the 3 of us). I really need her to come though so i can say to inlaws house is full
Last time i had inlaws BIL and SIL for 2 weeks (against my will) 42 weeks pregnant, summer, I could barely look at them. DD was so late that they had to go back to work and school and only MIL stayed for 1 day after baby came home eheheh.

Ahh yw I see your problem. selfish bastards. I have the complete opposite, inlaws are fairly self reliant but would take over EVERYTHING, and anything they don't take over, they'll have an opinion about. I'm not favourite offspring-in-law as it is and that's before they've seen my shouty, control freak side!

DH read in his dad manual that his job forthe first week or two is 'gatekeeper'. I prefer the term guard dog, but either way his role is to keep away unwanted guests and notice the signs when people have outstayed their welcome. Must remind him this will include his family as well!!

Thankfully DH can say no to his Mum and Dad - he's very good and is horrified at the thought of them descending too! Don't get me wrong we do love them - but not with a newborn all under one roof in a stormy Orkney winter - with everyone suffering from cabin fever. Shudder. He's already read the riot act (I was there earwigging as he did!!!) on timings of visits, so he'll just have to do it again until it sinks in. And again.

and again...

What a brilliant day! My feet are swollen n am exhausted and dehydrated. But brilliant. Lol

my baby shower, was so lovely. Sis organised it so well. I had a great yummy mummy sash. Decoration was amazing. Cake was a disaster! But even still everyone loved it lol. Well we covered up the fact it got damaged in transit.

Everyone got really into the muslin decorating competition (using fabric paints in groups of four). Had a quiz as well. Mum did so much food! Just so amazing.

Got some great gifts as well! Some clothes, angle care motion monitor! Bath tub with accessories, baby essential kits, baby massage book and oils, blankets and towels and a play mat. And my sister made a nappy cake with loads of hungry caterpillar things. Just felt so lucky!

Was so lovely hanging out with all my close family and friends. I can't describe what a great day it was .

But I'm confused... In my essentials kit is a pack of cotton buds, what do u use those for? Cotton pads I know, buds I'm not sure?

www.amazon.co.uk/Spectra-3-Electric-Breast-Pump/dp/B000UTUFP6

Can I double check - is this the breast pump you recommended izzy? :)

That's the one I got Pasties, on Izzy's recommendation.

I couldn't sleep again so I'm up ridiculously early reading Mumsnet doing online grocery shopping. I was really comfy as well, it's just anxiety doing my head in.

I'm trying to work out where I'm going to feed the baby at night as I'm really worried about falling asleep while feeding him. My DS2 fed every hour and a half for the first couple of weeks so there's no way I'd be able to stay awake through all those night feeds. I don't have a reclining chair and the sofa's too dangerous if you fall asleep so I'm thinking I'll have some kind of arrangement on the living room floor. I was wondering whether I could lie on a double sleeping bag on the floor to feed him? He'll have his Gro swaddle or sleeping bag so I would just need a blanket for me. The only trouble is it wouldn't be very comfy for my hips, and I'm assuming the sciatica isn't going to just stop as soon as baby's born.

stunt I have been feeling beyond anxious too. About feeding, I find the only way I can stay awake when feeding is to have a really upright chair, and something to do, like Mumsnet or watching something on the computer. Falling asleep when feeding is not something I can do as I have big boobies and would suffocate the poor little thing. I would personally not do the lying down thing when at risk of sleeping.

I have had an ingrown hair on my scar line (section) and although it is free, and not infected, it is so tender as baby head is right down there causing the skin to rub. I have to have a dressing on it to be able to function. I have been worrying that my scar will rupture, as my bump feels like someone has stuck a tube up me and inflated me, and the usual fears of dying and leaving three young children are creeping in again. better now it is morning.

Has everyone bought their Lanisol? Very important!

The cake looked lovely GT you were lucky with your gifts!

I had an ingrown hair 'down there' not long ago, I can't even see it but could feel something really sore so I tried to look round my bump and could see it was full of pus, ugh. So I popped it it was really satisfying it came out like a worm with the ingrown hair on the end!

VQ those worries sound awful. Why would you think your scar would rupture? I know it's potentially serious but surely the hospital would be able to deal with it. I heard some uterine ruptures don't even require stitching, if it's only a small opening. I understand the fear about dying and leaving your children motherless but I think it's something you have to accept. After all, realistically, that could happen any time (god forbid).

I fed my first two in bed quite happily sleeping through feeds but I don't think it would be safe this time round. My DH sleeps heavily wearing earplugs and tossing and turning so he may not be very aware of the baby in the bed. Also he would be quite prone to a nightcap most evenings and obviously that's a big no-no for co-sleeping.

Opinions needed. What's the difference between the maxi cosi cabriofix and the maxi cosi pebble? Other than price...

Also, we are definitely buying the car seat brand new (from boots hopefully as they have money off them all and I have a £25 off voucher from the parenting club) BUT would you buy a base second hand? In my inexperienced opinion, the base is surely just as important safety wise as the seat itself? But then again it's just a way of connecting the seat to the car, and you wouldn't necessarily buy a brand new car if yours had been in a bump, would you?

Sorry that probably doesn't make much sense! It's early and between junior, the dog and the 'ill' man I've not slept at all...

Mornin' all. I haven't had a problem falling asleep before but I amy now with two big ones. I have a lovely glider chair that I got with DS1 that is in their room so I could prob creep in and feed him there if needs be.

This morning I had the "oh god I have to get these two ready and out the door by 8.30 with a newborn in ten weeks or so". A very scary thought.

Had the good news that my SIL is going away over christmas so my MIL and FIL can stay at her house when they visit. Routines go out of the window when they descend. I will never forget the day DS2 was born. My MIL, SIL, BIL and their three kids came to see us. After their kids had got every available toy out and onto the living room floor they all left without picking up a single thing. They left us with a tesco bag of salad stuff for tea and just went. I could have cried. Thank god they all live abroad now. My tip is be firm and don't be hosts. People know how to make a cup of tea. The best person we had visiting with DS2 made cups of tea and asked me if there was anything I wanted doing before they left

Doctors appointment this morning for PGP. Not sure what to expect.

stunt thank you. My concern about the scar is that I do not heal well. When I agreed to a section with DD2 I was convinced I would have no more children due to the pressure on the scar, the internal womb stitching that is. Dissolvable stitches do not dissolve in me for some reason - have had a couple of surgeries when months later they worked their way to the surface, with infection, bleeding etc. nothing as yet with my section scar, but when I had the ingrown hair, my first fear was that this was happening. Thankfully it is not, but my internal scar is feeling quite sore with baby head being where it is at the moment. I would not be induced anyway, and that is the biggest risk, and would not risk normal labour for the same reason, even though on occasions I would like to try.

I think the fear of dying will haunt us all briefly on occasions in the lead-up to the big day. With DD1 my husband found out he had a tumour on his optic nerve, which would have meant either nothing, or likely death. Thankfully it is a tumour that is unlikely to cause any problems, but we did not find this out until I was overdue, and it was quite hard supporting him through that, as he thought he was understandably very scared of dying, and having recently lost his own dad, this was further compounded. Also during the birth, we both thought it was ironically gonna be me dying, as it was a tad messy and unpleasant. DD1 is talking a lot about death too. She was playing with her dolls and one was staying with her Aunty because her mummy had died having a baby, and she later asked me of I would still remember her after I died. These things can play on your mind in the wee small hours.

I am however delighted to be blessed with a third child, especially as I am so very old, and was told age 26 that I would never have kids. I do have a personal faith too. Guess I should use it to my advantage a bit more often eh? I will be requesting sterilisation following delivery at my consultant appointment next week.

Ah vq and stunt hugs!! I had a what if I die yesterday morning too!!

I've got the maxi cosi cabriofix the only difference is the pebble has more cushioning (which we were told was unnecessary) and an even easier to use car safety system. The pebble doesn't fit all prams yet though. I'm not getting a base as I'm not convinced either of our cars can have one?!

Nursery is done!!!! Omg!!! Really please with it. Just need to buy a matress now and that's it!!! I'm going to start baby clothe washing and get the bags packed and omg I'm having a baby!!!!! Nappies are in the wardrobe, cotton buds etc in the chest of drawers/changer mum was really impressed with the quality of the furniture for 2nd hand!!! I'm so pleased with it all!! Just hope everything's ok these last few weeks?!

Preg yoga tonight!!

MissMummy I couldn't tell the difference either but I thought the Cabriofix looked more comfortable and it was cheaper so I went for that one. I don't think it matters about a second hand base - the risk with the car seat is that if it has been in an accident then it wouldn't be sound any more because the padding would have taken the impact whereas the base is just hard plastic. So IMO a second hand car seat would be okay if you were getting it from someone reliable. I think it's probably better to get a new(er) seat from the point of view of improvements being made over time. Certainly DS1's seat bought in 2002 looks very inadequate compared to the modern ones.

Horsey the Maxi-Cosi website has a guide to fitting different cars. Mine can only go in the middle seat of the middle row (it's a seven-seater Ford S-Max) because there are hollow panels under the floor and that seat doesn't have Isofix points so it made the choice of base easy. I would recommend getting a base if you can, it's so convenient to just drop the carseat into the base without having to mess around with the straps. With DS2 I had a Graco travel system and it was brilliant, one button to push to unclip the carseat from both base and pram, just drop the carseat in to secure it to both base and pram.

Don't ask me how many car seats I have bought over the years, it must be about 13 including booster seats. DH drives a Mazda MX-5 (an old model from 2004) and because it's a two seater it has special Mazda car seats with a chip to automatically switch off the air bag. It took me a while to hunt those down on eBay I can tell you!

Brockle I'm trying to train my two (9 and 6) but it's a thankless task. DS2 is pretty good but DS1 won't get up, takes ages to get dressed, eats really slowly and will be wandering around shoeless without his teeth brushed when it's time to go. I think I'll only have to take him to school in his pyjamas once though to put an end to those problems lol.

Right, must go and study, my assignment is due on Wednesday (cue nail-biting terror).

Detective This is how I would handle your 10 year old. Sit him down yet again and tell him how important it is that he does everything on time, write it all down for him and leave it where he can't miss it. That's your side of the bargain done.

Have a word with his teacher and explain what is going on and can they just give you a week of him possibly being late to try to 'train him', say just a 15 minute window in a morning for just 1 week. Don't let your son be privvy to this conversation.

For the next week, just leave him to it and take him to school when he is ready, I promise you it will work, especially if he has to walk into assembly late! This will show him the consequences of his actions and that YOU don't give a monkeys if he's late or not, shifting the responsibility onto him. A good lesson too for high school.

I took my lad to school once in his pajamas, unluckily for him I had my 2 girls to think of too so had no opportunity to be late taking him. I did throw his uniform in the car after him and he had to get dressed once we got there, but he's NEVER been late since. He's now 10 and this was about 3 years ago.