Due in October 2012 - Part 5

[Kyyria]

Just starting us off on a new thread

You know websites that give you a 'week by week' analysis? They bloody annoy me. So Baby Centre is all 'You are 25 weeks pregnant, or in your 26th week if that's how you like to think of it', then some others call this Week 25 and some call it Week 26 (I would have thought this is Week 26, as it's the 26th week- even though I'm 25 weeks pregnant if you see what I mean).
Then the BBC's pregnancy website took my due date and called this Week 24!
Bloody inconsistent, if you ask me.
Rant over.

Definitely "supercute" Squid, your bump is very neat, I hope I look that good at 30 weeks!

Smorgs, 7kg sounds like nothing! I think I've put on just over 5 but it's hard to tell as the doc's scales weigh different to mine. I'm sure the nurse did it wrong last time - I'd barely finished stepping on when she told me to get off again!

Anyway, I've spoken to a few Japanese women and they've been told exactly the same thing so they're not superhuman after all - very reassuring.
With regards to clothes, I buy most of my stuff from the UK online or when I visit, mostly because I don't really like the styles here and decent stuff is expensive. It can be harder to find bigger sizes, but I'm an 8 (usually) so not too bad. Shoes could be a problem, but surprisingly trousers are often ok because they buy then long and then get them shortened in-store.

I've been having a lot of sexy dreams too, and my sex drive has definitely increased, but I'm very specific now IYSWIM? It either turns me on, OR it bugs the hell out of me. And the rules seem to change every time, poor DH!

But, I've not had one, single baby-related dream ever. I'm a bit worried about that, it's got to mean something psychologically, right?!

at Braxton Hicks, Dame, I thought was something that happened in the last week. Definitely haven't had any of them yet. Also, at "lumbering", loving that image!

for Smiley, hope you get some decent rest soon.

Regarding maternity leave, I was thinking to work right up til the end because I have my own (very small) business with a Japanese friend, and I don't want to leave her in the lurch. Also, my job's not stressful, I love it and I've been feeling totally fine up to this point. But, it does make sense when people say the weeks of maternity leave before the birth are the last time you'll ever have to yourself so you should make the most of it, so I may finish mid-October, a couple of weeks before due date. Knowing my luck though, baby would then come 2 weeks early.

I can't wait for this week to finish as DH and I are off to Hong Kong for a few days on Sunday - so excited! When we booked, I wasn't sure how I'd be feeling by now, but now it's here and I still don't feel much different from normal, I'm raring to go! We'll probably be taking it easy more for DH's sake than mine, as he's been crazy busy at work recently and I want him to chill out. And I'm determined to wear my, as yet unworn, maternity summer maxi dresses.

Well, better drag myself off to work even though it seems to be blowing a typhoon outside. Just a few hours today, so not too bad.

Hello all... I haven't haunted this set of threads since the very early days, but I have lurked a bit - and now I've hit 28 weeks AND turned 37 in the same week, I feel the need to hang out with other ladies in their third trimester (or soon to be). You all seem so lovely that I worry about fitting in at this late stage!

My 3-year-old DD is starting preschool in mid-Sept and I'm having an ELCS about ten days later. I work four days a week in a job that's pretty flexible and for that I am immensely grateful, as I have MS - the other kind - and life is sometimes a bit more difficult than it would otherwise be. I'm in north London and, frankly, am not looking forward to the Olympics. I'll work from home quite a lot, I think, but feel guilty about it, because I am just one guilty daughter of a Methodist mother.

About modesty on the labour ward. Tbh I was beyond caring during the effort itself, though I did have a bikini wax beforehand because in those days I could afford it. But on the ward afterwards I did find that my chic wrap over top and semi-transparent cotton gown were inadequate to the job of bleeding on the bed, learning to breastfeed, welcoming visitors and staggering to the loo. I was out after 48h despite an EMCS and had no problems. But in my anxiety to avoid wearing a nightgown like my mother's, I did make things harder. This time I'll try the maternity pyjama option.... and will cross my fingers for what the hospital calls an 'amenity room' and I think of as freedom from the radio medical soap opera of the rest of the ward, with added late night TV and screaming babies.

Oh, sod you all with your sex lives! I feel so ridiculously unsexy and tired and stressed that it's the last thing on my mind (poor DH), and I have a difficult mind so when I try to relax and get myself in the mood, I just over-analyse whether I am feeling horny or not, which of course makes me feel completely unhorny. We are managing about one session every week and a half, sometimes mutual fumbling, sometimes actual sex, but I haven't found a comfy position yet and am just grr about the whole thing. DH assures me that I'm like this at this time of year every year anyway as I'm so shagged out (I wish!)exhausted from the academic year, and I bounce back, happy, energetic, and sexy, at the start of the summer holiday. Am hoping this is still true even with bean on board.

Beccus, I don't think it was me that said how to look at photos, but you're welcome, and I can help with it anyway - if you hover over someone's name and your mouse arrow turns into a little hand with a pointing finger, then you can see their profile - but you have to actually click on their name to do this. Try it with mine. Then you can click on "YompingJo's photos" or something like that and you will be able to see photos. If you hover and the arrow doesn't turn into a pointing hand then they haven't put anything on their profile for you to see, lazy sods so you can't click.

London, nearly snorted out my morning cup of tea when I read about your sellotape dream . Sending you in sympathy as understand it must have been horrible at the time, but it is pretty funny! Also, you sound quite handy to have around when things break!

Dame, I'm glad your feckingmeal was worth the feckingeffort! What was it?

So, I have had heartburn for the last 3 days, but only after I eat too many biscuits on the staffroom after work, then it stays with me, on and off all evening. Yuk, I'm not a fan of that! Also, I nearly died of terror at the weekend when the baby seemed to have some sort of fit inside me, very very quick shaking, it was utterly horrible. I immediately googled (I know, I know...) and it turns out that this is pretty common, thought I'd share in case anyone else gets it and freaks out. It's to do with baby's muscles developing. It's a different feeling from baby hiccups - much faster, literally felt like baby was vibrating. Lasted for about 10 secs but I found some people who regularly felt this lasting a couple of minutes, but their babies were born healthy and fine. So, phew. Relief emoticon .

Also, went to first antenatal class last night, an NHS one (we are doing NCT classes but I signed us up for a couple of NHS ones that seemed to cover different stuff). DH was ill so couldn't come, and I hated it . Couldn't find the place so was a bit late, was last one there, so was stared at when I walked in, was the only person there on my own, which made me feel self-conscious, then cross that I might be being judged for being on my own, then cross on behalf of single mothers everywhere, then self-conscious again. Class was on relaxation and breathing, with an emphasis on how this can counteract the negative effects of getting stressed in labour. Well duh. Then we went through a relaxation exercise, with the bloke sitting against a wall and the girl sitting between his legs, leaning back against him. I just had to sit leaning against a wall . To be fair, it was quite relaxing, until the end when she was telling us some final stuff and the bloke next to me (who had already got on my tits for continually tapping his woman on the back to get her attention) put his pillow on his head and tapped his woman to show her. I had to try very, very hard not to give him a Mark Five Teacher Stare (has been known to paralyse at fifty paces ). Then when I was telling DH about it afterwards it actually sounded funny, but it wasn't, it was childish and attention seeking and stupid and I wanted to poke the man's eyes out - as well as hit him in the face with his pillow! And god, I sound am cross and intolerant. Roll on summer holidays and relaxed, bouncy YompingJo!

I am planning on working till 39 weeks, partly as I don't trust my due date with a barge pole, I'm more inclined to trust the one I worked out myself based on when I actually felt the ovulation and conception, partly as I will have had a 6-week break over the summer, and partly because I won't be teaching a class when I go back for the last 3 or 4 weeks so it won't be anywhere near as demanding or tiring. I am probably being insanely optimistic and will be sent home to start my mat. leave early as I'm too big to be able to cope . But I'm going to try to get to 39 weeks anyway. The later I work, the more of my mat. leave will be paid, as I will go back just before the next summer holidays anyway so I get paid over that summer too.

Gawd, epic posts R me .

Yomping, 37, 28 weeks tomorrow, based in the middle of the south of England, near the New Forest. And now late for work, oops...

beccus, u nobber, it was mickey not midget with the nobber consultant. Nobbers everywhere!!! Thx Angelico, i will check that thread out. I find it goes away if i press on the area too. Tee hee, it could be tickley little baby hand!! :)

DS's crap school has me nearly in tears again! Counting down the seconds until wednesday, when he'll never have to go again! The bitch of a receptionist didn't believe that he had a appointment this morning and asked me for proof or to come and fill in a holiday form (for one morning!). He's my child. I hate the way they make me feel like they are the authority and I'm just some incovienience.

Sending hugs wantanorange - they are probably only asking what is required legally but it's the manner in which they do it that is upsetting. People like that do tend to come across as jobsworths. Try not to let it get to you - like you say, only another week to go

I'm in the middle of sorting out my letter to work about mat leave. I did notify them verbally back in April that I was pregnant but I know they do not have to carry out a risk assessment until you have notified them in writing - and true to form nothing has been done yet. Do you think, given my past history of work-related stress and my current stress-related sick leave, that it would be cheeky of me to request a risk assessment with regards to work-related stress? I'm treading carefully at the moment as I know work will either play things by the book or will start getting awkward.

32, 24+4, #1

They've never asked for proof of appointments before and she was fine without proof until I asked what time their lunch break was (I thought it made more sense to just feed him at home and then send him after lunch, he wouldn't be missing any lesson time). She seemed to take this to mean I was picking and choosing when he comes into school. The holiday form thing is bollocks, unfortunately for them I am aware of what is expected of me legally and their bullying tactics are completely transparent to me. It's not the first time she has been very rude to me.

Sorry to change the topic ladies - just wondered if anyone could help... it's a long post so you may want to grab a and a (or if you prefer) and make yourself comfy...

I have just completed a foundation degree in Leadership and Management. I want to carry on and do the final year (starting September) to achieve a BA in Applied Management.

However, I've got some stumbling blocks:

1. I already have a bachelor's degree (BSc Psychology) from 2001 so apparently this classes me as ELQ (equivalent or lower qualification) status. This means it will cost me £4000 to complete the year (compared with £1800 for my classmates who don't have a previous degree) and it also means that I am not eligible for any funding (student loans etc).

2. For the majority of the final year I will be on maternity leave and bringing home less than £500 a month - that won't even cover mortgage let alone costs associated with baby or uni.

3. I can defer for a year but then it will cost £9000 to complete the final year - I definitely can't afford this!

I am doing this to further my work prospects (on employers recommendation) and although employers have generously paid for my first 2 years (£600 per year) they are refusing any financial help for the final year.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? It would be useful if anyone knows of any other funding I would be entitled to or any experience with budgeting for uni with newborn and minimal wage.

DH does work but we currently need both (full time) wages to pay mortgage, bills, council tax etc and we don't have much in the way of savings as the bean is eating into those already. Problem being I think we will still be earning too much to be able to claim tax credits or help for "low-income" families.

I don't want to give up as have completed 2 years already, plus getting the BA would be very useful in terms of career development (i.e. getting the hell out of my current workplace).

Thanks

32, 24+4, #1

Hi everyone. Hope you are all ok- I'm with those on feeling exhausted, working 40 hours a week and not much sleep isnt working out very well at all. I'm also finding that if I stand for prolonged periods of time i get an awful pain in my bump and my back- its horrible :(
I'm not taking my maternity leave until 4 days before I'm due (We have to take ours as of a sunday!)... Ambitious maybe? I figure the more I'm at work the more active I'm being and so therefore the easier my labour is. She says. Ha ha ha!
No Kyyria Its not cheeky. It's a legal requirement and as you have been signed off for work-related stress it's going to be a neccessary thing. You are only protecting bean at the end of the day.

To those worrying about bean movements- I find laying on my belly (or trying!) works quite well- they get squished so they start kicking out to get their room again :)

Well I went to the GP today and explained what had happened with the consultant, and wanted some preparation of what may or may not be happening and was told "They won't scan you unless you're prepared to terminate the baby if you learn something is wrong".
Anyone else think that is just wrong on so many levels? Like literally disgusting? I can see the whole we-don't-want-to-waste-our-money-if-it-won't-affect-you thing but COME ON, really?!?!!?! I nearly throttled him. Even if I was going to consider terminating the baby (which I wouldn't, I just wouldn't), I'm 24 weeks next week so I'd be over the legal limit anyway. Then what would they do? Force me to give it up for adoption? Jesus Christ. I have a lot to thank the NHS for but really. I pay my taxes and national insurance for a reason don't I?

So I'm feeling quite crap really. No-one seems to want to help me, but the thought of having to pay a fortune (which we really don't have) for a private scan that I really feel quite entitled too does my head in. And they all tell me "not to worry". Thats really good advice, really.

Poor DP is really getting it in the neck. I seem to alternate from happiness radiating out of every orifice to a raging, hormonal waterfall the next. Poor poor man. But he did buy me some very nice boots as an early birthday present- they arrived today and he gave them to me when I finished work.. which cheered me up slightly :o

Yomping If you want to improve your sex drive.... I Recommend the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. :o Best thing I've ever read! And evryone is talking about it- hehe!

MY dreams are also crazy- I dreamt I was marrying DP last night (which was lovely really) but I was walking around with just a t-shirt on.. which seemed to worry no-one. Strange! I also hold my hands up to laughing at the sellotape dream- obviously legs falling off babies are not funny whatsoever, but the fact that it was a crazy dream makes it more humourous!

Very sleepy mickey, age 20, 23 weeks today, EDD 8th November.
Cuddles everyone x

Poor WantanOrange and Kyyria :( I wonder if people realise how much stress and aggro they cause pregnant girls by being their usual dickhead incompetent uncaring selves. Somehow when you're not all pregnant and vulnerable it's easier to shake off. Or maybe it's just me. I have had enough useless admin jumped up dickheads this week. There are good admin people too but none of them work anywhere near me!

Kyyria my understanding is they are legally obliged to carry out a risk assessment when you first tell them they are pregnant and stuff like stress should come up in it. I had to fight with them for a month to get one which they promptly declared invalid so I'm not saying I managed to do this successfully.

Well, I've had a really crap day and I feel like I'm reaching breaking point. Woke up around 3am, lay there stroking cat for hours, and was feeling like death by the time I had breakfast etc properly at 6. Unit was HORRENDOUSLY busy today and we are down two members of staff (leave and nights) so it was tough. Stupid useless rota organiser had fucked up again and left us two more docs short at lunch time, for completely avoidable reasons. Getting hassle from admin twats about random forms. I'm trying to see patients here, in the absence of anyone else, patients piling up everywhere, rushing around radiology and cardiology and trying to get shit done. (I saw a 41 year old with horrendous MS today, utterly disabled, PEG fed and only able to make random unintelligible noises - I only spent 5 minutes with her but that was about the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen. Her nice friendly husband told me she used to be a solicitor.)

I felt almost hysterical about how awful it was but I thought I was managing ok then two nurses and one of the junior doctors took me aside and said I looked "like complete shit" and "not myself at all" and very unsteady and asked me please to go home and they were even nice about it so I started crying. Which was crap.

I ended up going home at 4 and crying more. It took me about half an hour to walk from my ward to the car park (normally 10 mins). I am only 29 weeks and I don't understand why I am so fucking useless. I know I am just sensitive and shouldn't compare myself to others, but every time I hear about someone working till 38 weeks I feel utterly worthless and can't understand how I have slowed down so badly already.

I'm in bed but I'm going back to work tomorrow. it's only one day. I finish end of july anyway.

whinge whinge whinge squid. meh.

Oh squiddy, you are so bloody hard on yourself, and you just need to stop. I hope that doesn't sound harsh, but we pregnant ladies do have to be a bit kind to ourselves, and we're all superheros for doing this in the modern world.
I am a huge feminist, and I really value the choices we have in the modern world. But the idea of 'having it all' puts huge pressures on us. So much of the advice I read is that we should get at least 8 hours sleep a night, plus a couple of hours nap in the afternoon. Well when? I work 8 hours a day and spend 2 hours a day commuting.
And that's nothing compared to the kind of hours you work squid- not to mention the kind of emotional stress your job must create (the most heartbreaking thing that happens to me is when our internet goes down and I have no access to google).
So basically- shut up thinking you're worthless etc! That's just plain stupid, really it is. You should be incredibly proud of what you do, and not have one second of guilt about slowing down- your body is doing what it is supposed to, and you don't really have a choice.

And you are all allowed to laugh at the sellotape dream! I laughed too- afterwards.

Kyyria I don't think I have any suggestions. When I did my Masters a couple of years ago I did it part time because it was cheaper and meant I could do a bit of work- but obv I didn't have a baby then. Why does it cost so much more to defer?
Is it worth talking to your employer about them helping you pay and you gradually paying it back to them from your salary? Would they be flexible like that?

I'm having movement worries today. I rationally know that I've felt enough movement to know baby is fine, but she's in a strange position facing my back to the movements I feel are quite dull and low down. I suppose I got used to a few days of big kicks at the front that I could see. I just keep trying to rationalise- it's normal to feel different when she's obv in a different position etc. But can't help but be paranoid. Meh.

I'm 25 weeks tomorrow.

Mickey I am sitting here silently fuming with outrage for you. I don't understand the whole story but that sounds like one unholy piece of crap and I can't believe for one minute that is a real reason for not scanning you and giving you more information. I am scanned every 4 weeks and then every 3 for the last 8. Why the hell can't you have investigations to prepare you? Loads of people have CVS's and amnios and it sure as hell isn't only if they promised to terminate. I just dont understand that kind of dumb arse statement at all. I think you should complain to PAL's - you are being treated appallingly. And thanks for saying you are working up to 4 days before DD - that makes me feel less envious about my whole 7 days. although fuck all went to plan last time I was pregnant

Kyria I would ask work for a risk assessment and then mention stress - say that the assessment is about the stress. Go into it a bit more gently. I have to do the assessments with any pregnant women in my team which is just a chat with me saying. 'How are you? Do you need any adjustments'. It isn't really any more sophisticated than that for my team but that doesn't mean all places are as slack. If anyone says - actually I am struggling to cope I would do my best to make adjustments (offer working from home more, see if I could reduce duties, make sure I don't give them too many projects with really tight deadlines etc)

Yomping I think all antenatal classes are a bit shit if you have even a basic level of knowledge. Worth sticking with them as you may pick up some decent mates with babies the same age but for no other reason than that. Horrible going on your own - I did the hospital tour on my own last time I was pregnant and it was the same. Half pitying looks making me get all defensive.

Elpis welcome back and well done for peaking from behind the lurking bush. I agree with you about modesty. By the time labour is fully established I couldn't have given a shit if I was stark naked under a strobe light. It's kind of the last thing on your mind. Think I had a shirt hanging off me for a bit but that didn't last long. I am also unsure if I had a little pooh - again wouldn't have cared less if I had - I was totally unaware. The things that freak you out before you are in labour totally leave your head when you are in it. I also had a courtesy wax as I was being induced so knew when I needed it but really can't be arsed this time round. I think this is called letting yourself go.

And yes to the dirty dreams - had them early on and they are back with a vengeance. Angelico I think your theory of all the bloody being there is right - it is pretty much all I think about. which is ironic as I look about as sexy as a whale

Squid some days are just like that - your job is demanding and it is going to get on top of you sometimes, even when you don't realise it. You are only human and squid so don't beat yourself up about it. Just have a good cry.

Right I best go and do some work. Have another bloody interview next week. Can't they see I am pregnant and preoccupied? The bastards. Feeling a bit run down and knackered. Also finding it really really hard to focus on work, which is unfortunate as I still have loads of time to go. Saving all my holiday up so I can tag it on to my mat leave and actually get full pay. Painful. And I actually went shopping for the baby. I got 4 things in baby gap. Get me. Think I am taking them back though as DH didn't like any of it. I need to up my game.

Night night all.

London Cross posted. My movements are identical to what you describe today - much more muffled, low down and not making my clothes ripple. Maybe its a 25 week thing.

Gosh this thread moves super fast sometimes and it's actually way past my bedtime (but I'm full of stepfather-in-law's birthday cake so I'm not sleepy yet). However, I think I'll catch up tomorrow.

Mostly wanted to comment on cultural ante-natal differences as briefly touched on with and promised to CherryChopticks. Been having a few thoughts about Norway and found out a few things over the last few days...

1. No-one I mean no-one ever comments on the size of your bump or how big you are and rarely speak their mind on the matter, even if you yourself bring it up.

1. Midwives and doctors seem unconcerned about obesity as a factor in pregnancy.

1. Dummies are seen as almost mandatory here and I am viewed with anything from sceptical concern to downright semi-aggressive indignation in my desire to avoid one if possible (like it's almost child abuse not to use one or something!).

1. Specialist maternity clothes are relatively hard to come by (H&M being the obvious source). Most women just seem to opt for loose or 'outsize' clothes.

1. Medical treatment is very laid back (but competent).

1. Bump-touching is almost taboo for anything other than the closest family. It just doesn't happen.

1. Potty training here is not rushed and unless the child leads on it, adults don't normally worry about it before 2. It's not uncommon to see 3 year olds (and even some 4 year olds!) still in nappies although the Norwegian establishment acknowledge that this is not a great state of affairs and it would be better to have kids potty-trained by 18 months, as much for the environment as anything (although a lot of disposable nappies here now are 'swan-marked' meaning they are fully biodegradable).

1. Birthing is kept as 'natural' as possible, no matter what the mother's preference. I was told today that you are unlikely to be given an epidural unless the medical team thinks you need one. Asking for one alone is not enough to get one. The medical team will assess whether you need one or not (you are likely to get on if baby is transverse or something) and I've heard many stories of women begging for them but not being given them. However, most women giving birth MW led at the hospital have access to water birth as part of the service. I'm ok with this but I know it would freak a lot of people I know.

1. Here in Stavanger, (there is only one hospital despite being Norway's 3rd biggest city), as long as there has been no serious bleeding, complications or Caesarean, the mother moves from the birthing suite to the hospital 'hotel' within a few hours of giving birth, where she will share a room with her partner for 3 days 'getting to know baby' with MWs, nurses and doctors 'on-call' to come and check on you when needed but sorting out your own food, private bathroom, wi-fi etc.

10. All 'birthing suites' have a double bed and water bath in them and at our hospital apparently don't look like hospital rooms at all. Gas & air and acupuncture are given as standard on request.

Oh and it's all 100% free. That's all I can think of right now. Would be great to hear differences from those also not having their babies in the UK and what those giving birth in the UK think of these differences :).

I'll catch up on you all tomorrow x

A quick post to say have just been to karaoke stone cold sober and it is a very different experience to karaoke with a large bottle of vino...

Hugs to those in need and will check in tomorrow, sleep tight all x

Urgh - is anyone else awake or is it just me?

So I told a French estate agent to F* off today. Our marathon house hunt finally turned up two houses we thought were possibilities and I arranged to go and see them with DH for a second time this afternoon. Only 30 mins before the viewing at the best of the two the estate agent calls and says it's 'just been' rented (usually if you have a second viewing arranged they wait until you've decided before letting anyone else bid for it). I was fuming. She was so flipping 'French' about the situation too. Then during the other viewing, DH and I were both a bit underwhelmed by it - it would be fine, it's a roof over our heads which is more than a lot of people have but it's smaller than our current place and in much worse condition. I know this sounds really spoilt, but I had a mental image of where I wanted to bring my first baby up and it wasn't in some crappily converted, flimsy bungalow with no central heating and old bathrooms with grey mouldy grouting. If I'm honest, it was in my lovely Victorian terrace in Bristol which we've rented out while we live here. I think I'm just feeling a bit homesick. I came home and cried and cried.

On a positive note, I went to visit the clinic I'll be giving birth in and booked in. The gynae confirmed they don't do gas and air, but said don't worry everyone has an epidural these days anyway I'm going for my first anti-natal lesson there Monday, and found out the midwife is half English, which is a relief as DH doesn't speak French that well so he can learn breathing techniques etc from her in English.

Elpis Welcome!
Yomping I have heartburn loads now, always carry Rennie around with me. That man in the anti-natal classes sounds like a nobber.
WantAnOrange
squid What Londonmrss said and
Angelico I had that experience at a hen weekend a few weeks ago, my sympathies!

I remember someone saying they felt their bump was having a 'fit' a few days ago - I had that! Was lying in bed after running around all day and it had two episodes of 'shivering'. I lay very quietly for a while and then it started moving as normal again so I just ignored it and went to sleep. Didn't even think to Google symptoms clearly already a neglectful mother

Can I just say... I hate maternity bras with a passion? Which is ironic because if anyone saw me in mine, passion would be the last thing on their mind . It's just so bloody BIG and the cups come up so high that they show above the neckline of my tops. I get hot most of the time, was like that pre-preg, and I tend to go for floaty, wide-necked tops. Today am wearing a sort of floaty vest top thing with spaghetti straps - but I keep having to hoik it up to cover top of bra cups. School is an old building, not much air flow, sun (ha ha ha) streams in through big windows, 3 storeys and I'm on top floor so a) lots of stair climbing = hot yomping and b) top floor, heat rises and c) sun streaming in through windows = no chance of seeing whiteboard so keep curtains closed during sweltering afternoons and all this adds up to me overheating most days hence need for lightweight tops which I still sweat my way through by about 9:30am anyway (TMI?), hence bra cups showing, hence . Why do I need so much nobbing scaffolding?

I am aware this hardly compares to moving house or job stress but it's annoying me sufficiently today to feel like a big deal!

smorgs, not worrying about "shivering" baby doesn't make you neglectful, just a lot more chilled than me! Glad someone else has experienced this though.

Kyyria, no advice, but sympathies.

Fjord, the 3 days in a room afterwards sounds lovely.

Squid, speaking as a veteran of being far too hard on myself and being told this on a regular basis by just about everyone I know, whenever I beat myself up about something I don't think I'm doing well enough... well - you know what I'm going to say. You can't save the world single-handedly, all you can do is help to make a difference. And you do that, every day. You can't do any more than you're doing and you're already doing more than you should. Let the rest wash over you.

Mickey, I may have misread but wasn't it your GP who mentioned the possibility of another scan in the first place, which is why they referred you? Sounds like he/she doesn't know what they are talking about...

TFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFI Friday today, for me. Very long week, feels like it has had at least 43 days in it already. And disco day at school today so hyper kids, and raining all day so will be wet play, so hyper, cabin-fevered kids .

Ok feeling guilty about the fact the only thing I can stomach for breakfast every day is a cup of tea and about 5 or 6 biccies. Neglectful mummy over here, what do I do? :-(

Glad I dropped in. Having a very down day and not even 9am! But quick catch up on posts is both making me laugh and making me feel sorry for everyone as much as myself. :-( Cannot even bring self to type my woes as no one really wants to know, but fecking bloody house and tired stressed worried DH trying to do it all is wearing us out emotionally and physically. And everyone keeps asking has he finished painting/wiring/tiling/patio etc etc yet!!!!!
I am at least off for few days so going now to pretend to help!!
Got my baby heart monitor- highly recommended for awww value and entertainment! DH torturing me tho, 3 times last night..... But worth it for joy it brings! Took a video of on phone, MIL says .... Don't know how we managed to have babies in my day. fuck off silly cow-
Feeling better already, rant over. Xx

cwest , bad mummy, what do you do?? make sure u eat 6 biscuits, not 5, that is healthiest option.

Hello all! God I'm glad yesterday is over. It's been a stressful couple of weeks (for me - I'm not moving house or anything like that!!) and I'm hoping things can normalise a bit now.

The garden is finished, we've got the new car, the wedding last weekend is over (I'm still shattered from that), now we just have to sell my old car, but we have some interest which is positive. It just keeps blardy raining so no one wants to come and look at it What kind of July is this, anyway?

And last night I had an absolute CRAMPathon. My 2nd and 3rd toes on my right foot just kept curling under. At 3.30am I walked around the bedroom and bathroom for 20mins while my foot just cramped and cramped and cramped. I was practically weeping with exhaustion (i'd already been up twice to wee, and the night before DS had been up and wailing from 10pm til 1am) but nothing would stretch it out. Eventually I gave up, got into bed, rammed my foot against the footboard and resolutely went to sleep. Until 4.30 I realised today I haven't had what I would call a decent night's sleep in TWENTY NINE MONTHS. That's well over 2 years. Serves me right for getting pregnant just before DS started sleeping half decently. Still, it's amazing what you can live with

Midget enjoyed reading your post, lots of excellent advice there.

Mickey I'm another one fuming at your treatment. I'd suggest PALS too, and/or asking to see another GP in your surgery for another take on the matter.

Squid you sound pretty down - but as yomping says, you sound a lot like I feel about myself too. It is hard to keep perspective when you're tired - you need to find strategies to help you. And let me know when you do so I can borrow them

Fjord I like the sound of care where you are. Especially 3 nights all together in a "hotel" - nice!! After my unplanned homebirth last time, the mw left at 4am with DH asking "but....don't we need to sign something? Don't we go to hospital? What do we do now???" and we were left to it! 2 hours later I started crying uncontrollably with shock and couldn't stop...3 nights with people around to help sounds like bliss.

smorgs french estate agents sound like utter nobbers. I bet you're homesick, it sounds tough. Keep looking - it doesn't sound like the best idea to settle for the place you just saw? Unless you're in a position where you have to, in which case I'm sure you can make it a lovely lovely home

Elpis, welcome back!! And huge respect from me, dealing with 1 + 1 on the way with MS. I don't know how you do it

CWest mmmm, biccies. Don't stress about breakfast - at least you're eating something! You have the whole of the rest of the day to balance your diet out, remember. Besides, the baby takes all the best stuff out of you!

huffle it's comments like that which make me fleetingly grateful that I have no MIL...daft cah. When people ask about the house you could deliberately "misunderstand" them as offering to help

Yomping joining you on the bra front. I've worn godawful bras for nearly 2 years now and I fecking hate them. And yy to sweating - especially in my gorgeous polyester uniform at work. I feel like I should oink I'm currently in Bravado bras as they're the only ones I find comfortable when my stomach expands, and when my milk comes in and I feel like screaming when anything touches my boobs.

And newsflash....I've started having let-down reflexes at random times of day - as if the Braxton Hicks weren't enough. I suppose i should be grateful I'm not leaking milk yet, but it looks like my massive oversupply issues are gearing up to rear their fecking ugly heads again. Feck.

This is now a novel. I will stop my ranting.

Hi everyone,

I'm on hols but have been reading along on my phone - finally got a chance to use a 'puter and thought I'd write and say hello! (far too laborious to type it all on my phone!).

First of all: good news... mortgage on DF's flat has been approved, so it looks like we may yet be moving to the house sometime in August. Hurrah. I am slightly loathe to celebrate until we actually exchange, however as it's always such a rocky process! Unfortunately we will also have to have an enormous mortgage until we can also sell my flat. Which hasn't had the survey yet (nearly 3 weeks after accepting the offer) so I'm wondering about whether this buyer is actually going to get his sh1t together at some point or not. ANYWAY, I am trying to keep positive and hope we get the house and get to sell my flat so we can actually breathe, financially-speaking.

smorgs you have my utmost sympathy re estate agents and really not wanting the house. I am not filled with joy at the prospect of baby sharing a room with 7 bikes, which is what will happen if this house stuff doesn't go through. Hardly Elle Deco. However, better than many folk, I realise.

Secondly: Holidays ROCK. It is hot. There are ice creams. There are trees under which I can loll (it turns out that I don't feel well if trying to sunbathe). I've been reasonably active, with swimming a couple of times and some hikes and even a Col (proper mountain in the Alps) on a bike, though I had rented an electric bike to make it easier, it turned out to not be as easy as I had hoped. It was a very tough 1h15 to get to the top. I have, however, struggled mentally with being surrounded by hundreds of other cyclists all doing what I love (riding up large mountains) whilst I read a book under a tree. Humn. This adjusting to a new life isn't instant, it seems.

Kyyria re funding I'm afraid I don't have any helpful advice but perhaps ask the Citizens advice guys or the Department of work and pensions etc? They may be able to tell you what you're entitled to?

I think a few pages back someone talked about weight gain - I am all EEK about this after a week of ice creams and croissants and eclairs. I had gained 6kg by 23 weeks but, um, this week, I suspect i'll have nudged that up somewhat. I shall not enjoy the weighing in on my return (I have my 24 week midwife appt).

LOVING the cultural differences, Fjordmor and Cherry. I have noticed some differences here in France too

1. I have not seen maternity wear anywhere. Ladies seem to either go for lycra type dresses with sashes adorning the bump, or, if larger, go for stuff a size up.
2. they LOVE their bump bands (if skinny)
3. no-one has commented on / tried to touch my bump in the last week.
4. it seems to be totally socially acceptable to swim / loll about in a bikini when preg. I had tried to find a maternity tankini but they don't seem to come in bra sizes and I needed the support, so had gone with a bikini (I suggest brastop for not expensive swimwear in brasizes btw).

Yomping couldn't agree more re the preg bras. I have given up, mostly, and am wearing normal, underwired ones. I couldn't cope with wearing tops up to my chin and having boobs on my bump.

squid chin up. Pregnancy affects your stamina to an astonishing amount (to me, anyway) and I do really emphathise. I keep trying to do (physical) things that I used to be able to do and then realising that I just can't and feeling disappointed and exhausted. Thinking of you anyway.

Sorry to anyone I've forgotten.

Right. I shall go and find myself an icecream and enjoy the last of the sun. I gather England has been as rainy as ever. boo.

37, 24+1, #1

WantanOrange & CWest - great info on sensory play and treasure baskets. New to me as a theory but have always felt kids veer towards playing with pots and pans/cardboard boxes much more readily than conventional toys sometimes. My little step niece in law (15 months) spent 30 minutes the other day putting a sucked lozenge back in it's empty tiny cardboard box, taking it out, putting it back in?relentlessly but was spellbound!

Re: hair. Mines' normally fine, lank-ish & falls out loads. It's a little bit thicker now but very dry. I think this is the reason for the frizz ? I found my coloured dry hair would frizz very easily in humid weather even before pregnancy because it was porous and dry. And what kind of weather have you chaps been mostly having this summer? I?d put it down to a combination of hair being dryer and lots of rain. But hey, it might be a pregnancy symptom. What do I know? Certainly know that my skin is masses dryer on my arms, despite softer Norwegian water and heaps of body lotion (someone bring me over some Aveeno, now!).

Re:maternity wear - can highly recommend yoga/harem type trews from H&M ? although mine are quite thin fabric and don?t really look like ?outside of the house? wear. Also just invested in H&M maternity leggings. Yay! The first dedicated ?maternity wear? that I?m loving. Comfy, glides over the bump, stay up and keep shape and despite it being very weird the waistline sitting only inches below the bottom of my bra, I?m getting used to them. Only equivalent of £9.99 here in Norway and WELL worth investing in a few pairs.

Dame -that IS a weird wedding. Always wonder what the thought process is behind having people hang around, far from home with bugger all to do for hours and hours but champagne and slap-up grub is the least you?d expect after that!

Midget - please don?t get the wrong idea about my ?buying stuff? :). The tripp trapp chair is old and belongs to FIL. Everyone has them here as in?everyone?s mum still has one from when they were little! So we're just nicking it off him! :) Everything else is just bargains we?re snapping up secondhand as we see them as we're on such a budget. Snagged an (Amercian) pottery barn cot + mattress w matching changing table and drawers, teddy mobile, embroidered cot bed linen off some expats who are moving, all for £100 the other day (has been a nightmare finding somewhere to store it all until we move though). Have found a Baby Bjorn bouncer in great nick for £20 and a travel cot in the sale for £30. Got a free baby bath through our version of freecycle and snagged a red leather nicely aged Chesterfield armchair (for feeding) for £20! Working way through ?baby money? given up by grandparents/aunts as we haven't got much in our personal pot for baby gear :(. However, I did cave and buy 3 little baby bits in the H&M and Kappahl sales (my first baby clothes purchases :)). SIL & BIL gave us 2 big parcels of baby clothes too. Just having to find small used chest of drawers to put everything in now. Seen a couple of nice ones for £20 each... :).

Feeling the pain of everyone in house hunts! Also trying not to feel guilty here as I try to work out where baby can be changed/put etc safely in our cupboard of a flat. Finding the agent I chose annoying at feedback and pushing my flat which is super frustrating from abroad. I am harassing them by email daily ? they must hate me already!

Right ? caught up as far as halfway through last Tuesday ? need coffee and a few ice pops (though not necessarily together) then will catch up on the rest. Those who've recently posted, I'm not ignoring you - just haven't got there yet! :)

Well I have just eaten a whole pie. A humble pie. I decided it wasn't the poor estate agent's fault the house went so fast, that's her job after all, so called her back and apologised. Luckily she was very sweet and said she understood and would let me know if anything else comes up. I feel better. The French are OK again. I like living here. It's amazing what a power nap and a few hours' quiet reflection can do.

londonlivvy nice to see you back here! Fingers crossed on the house - it is so damn stressful isn't it? You are totally right about maternity wear in France. There is none. I practically bought out JojoMamanBebe when I was back in the UK. There is a good French store online though called Seraphine. And nobody has touched my bump/commented on the size of it. Enjoy the rest of your holiday...

DameFlatYouLent Err, I have leaky breasts! I have already taken to stuffing cotton wool pads down my bra. Oh the glamour.... Glad you're stressful period is almost over - hope the car sells soon.

hufflepuffle another one with house woes - here have a

Yomping I haven't even gone into maternity bras yet, I'm still in underwired ones. I always find I never quite have the right bustenhalter for whatever top I'm wearing though.

FjordMor Great idea on the cultural differences! I've probably bored everyone already with my tales of the French, but here you go:

1. Same - no-one has commented on the size of my bump or tried to touch it.
2. They are borderline obsessed with you not putting on too much weight during pregnancy.
3. Re maternity clothes - see my comment to londonlivvy above
4. You choose where to give birth and can go for anything from a small little clinic to a big hospital. I've chosen a large clinic. You stay in for three days afterwards, although often it's more. You're usually in a double room with one other mum, but can pay extra to be on your own. BUT you have to bring along your own baby towels and sheets and blankets for the cot.
5. Home births, TENS machines, birth plans and gas and air don't really exist in France. Water births are becoming more popular and they do them at my clinic (thankfully). Generally birth is quite medicalised, with the vast majority of women opting for epidurals. They do not understand the concept we have of natural births, which is good in some ways as it doesn't make you feel like a failure if you chose to have an epidural.
6. Breastfeeding is being encouraged more in France now, but you don't get the breastapo you sometimes find in the UK. Most women stop bf after 6 weeks. Often it's because maternity leave is only 3 months though.
7. Maternity leave means you can taken an extra 20 minutes off a day - either for a mid afternoon nap/walk or to just go home early.
8. There are NO baby classes. No baby gym/baby sing and sign/aquababies/Jo Jingles. Once you leave hospital you're on your own.... shudder.