We will have a serene, pain free, uneventful pregnancy and birth and will BROOK NO ARGUMENT on that.

[scarletfingernail]

New thread.

Well done and congratulations musical - will you be in in time for mini-musical do you think? :)

hmm weight gain still not great. born on the 25th percentile (7lb 4oz) and now hovering around the 2nd percentile (6 weeks 8lb 1oz). totally depressed by it all but trying and failing to put a brave face on it.

plan is to feed him every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night which means frequently waking him up so then i worry that he isn't getting enough rest to actually grow or enough awake time to develop argghhhhh.

sometimes i manage to be a bit more relaxed about it and not stress bearing in mind our second hosp stay but mostly i'm pretty upset about it.

sorry to depress all those expecting dc2s - think things are particularly bad over here as we haven't handled it at all well and we had two hospital stays very close together. am sure it is just temporary and will all be better soon.

Speaking as someone who is completely and utterly clueless on anything to to with young children but hoping that this will be of some use to someone...

Consistency and routine are what children cope with best. Bringing a new dc into the mix throws that into disarray. They are used to being your number 1 priority in life and are having to adjust to not only sharing you but a big change in the daily routine. I'm sure that it is much easier to say than do but I think the best thing you can do is to try and get a new routine established with them so that they have some security. If they know that they are not going to be pushed out completely and still get to have time with you on their own then hopefully they will be able to come to terms with the change a bit easier.

It won't happen overnight but it's something positive to aim for. Also I would expect some regression, if they have a bad day then you haven't failed, just stay with it. Everyone is different and different dcs will adapt at different rates. Remember, however hellish it may seem at the time, it is only temporary. It will get better.

I hope that doesn't come over as preachy as that isn't my intent, it is just that sometimes someone from outside can see things a different way to someone right in the middle.

jen you've hit the nail on the head. The worst thing we did was to disrupt ds1's days at nursery plus Dh had most of a month off so ds1 ed totally out of routine. Hindsight is a fabulous thing

Don't dwell on it then hawthers concentrate on getting back to it as best as you can. As ds1 is an older brother now and more grown up, he gets a new, better routine or something like that. Whatever would appeal to him best.

I'm a Guide Leader and ime the girls love to have some responsibility. The older ones might run a game at the beginning of the meeting and it makes them feel important. Would ds1 respond to something like being in charge of getting a new nappy for ds2 so he has an important job helping Mummy?

oh hawthers lovey. Are you still under a HV/ midwife or have you been signed off? If you have been signed off you know you don't have to go for weekly weigh ins don't you? Does he look healthy to you? Is he as responsive as one that little is expected to be (ie not much if I remember rightly!)? If so then he is doing ok. He was ill shortly after being born so I would expect him to lose more weight than most babies do and this will take time to build up again. What did he go down to at his lowest and how long ago was it? He has actually probably put on more than your realise if you look at it that way? How little/ big is your other ds/ you/ your dh? You may just have a little one on your hands who is meant to be little? At 6 weeks he is higher than his birth weight. That is good. Concentrate on some high calorie meals/ snacks for you and feeding little F.

As for big bro, as well as the responsibility jen suggested, maybe a little one on one time with you and with your dh (probably at different times) could be good for him. Could your dh plan a little outing with him to somewhere special? And maybe one weekend you could all do something biased towards your ds1 which F could be transported to? Maybe a museum or some such? What about the Horniman? I think that may be quite near your part of town? I forget how old he is so apologies if he is too old/ young to go for it!

wow, 1001 questions, sorry!

Hi, Hawthers I have dug out my Dds red book, she started at the 25th centile went up to nearly the 50th and then dropped right down to 0.4th, although tracked the 2nd centile most of the time. Still quite a drop, but entirely normal and she is healthy. With all that has happened with you and Farley, I can't stress enough how well you are doing. :)

It is also worth noting that as you had a CS this leads to a bigger drop off in weight as the babies are born heavier due to all the liquids you have pumped into you, so this can skew the growth charts.

The other good thing here is that you are able to squeeze more feeds in, so that should up his gain. In terms of sleep a babies complete sleep cycle is 45minutes so waking him up should have no ill effect at all and I am surprised he sleeps that much you are lucky there.
Maybe, you need to talk to someone about your experiences in hospital and how you are feeling about it all and maybe seek some closure? I can't imagine how frightening that must have been and you have had so much to cope with in such a short period of time. :(

hawthers, you sound like you're doing a fabulous job! As I said, my DD also (as a full term baby, delivered VB) dropped from the 50th -17th centiles- looked like quite a drop in the Red Book, especially while she was on the downward spiral, and we had no issues like illness, hospital admissions etc to set us back. I still fed her every 2 hours in the day and night too, though mine was in the aim of prolonging nighttime sleeping! Plus, don't forget, everything seems miles worse when you're tired... and feeding every 3 hours = tired mummy. My DD has started scratching me- I m going for the being rewarding every time she is affectionate (which is a lot to be fair) and putting her down and no attention whatsoever for bad behaviour. If your DS is over 2 it might be a time out kind of thing, though my friend had a 22 month age gap between hers and said the owrse punishments she dished out for her DD (for hurting her baby brother/pickin him up by his feet etc) the owrse he was- so in the end she went for the say 'NO, you don't do X, it'll hurt it' very firmly and then just put her out of where she and DS were so she was left out. She said that stopped the behaviour much more effectively. Chin up"! xx

Thank you all so much for reading and replying. I'm just venting and I'm sure it will settle down in due course.

purple thanks for the reassuring stats
ninja horniman is a good plan and yes Dh and I are petite.

New leaf being turned over. Deep breath

if you do go hawthers the musical intrument room is brilliant and has a little room off it where they can play instrument type things that make loads of noise. My ds loved it to bits and still asks now to go back again.
Glad you feel a bit better after ranting. Hope you get some good sleep and feel better about things x

DS is getting yet another cold and actually asked not to go to the library this afternoon (he usually loves it there). So it's an afternoon of telly here. At least he cycled to the park and fed the ducks and went to the playground earlier. And if he helps me cook dinner I won't feel too bad about it.

sorry venting not ranting!

Thanks Biscuits! Hoping it'll be smooth - the people in our house were keen to push on and get it all done as quickly as poss, so we'll see. Hoping we don't hit any bumps. Thanks for the Gaviscon tip too - I'm not sure if they do call back phone appointments where I am? Will have to do a bit of research, but if so that sounds perfect, thanks!

Pomme, hope you're feeling a bit better :( I felt better as the day went on - which seems to be a general trend at the moment. Bump still achey though - guess that means it's on a growth spurt? Eek!

Purple, thanks for the tip re the Mothercare changing bag stocks! We have quite a big one near us.. but I'm not holding out to actually buy one there. It's more to take DH to look at them - I can ramble on about all these things until kingdom come, but he won't get interested/excited unless he can play with them and see himself using them, etc etc. Smart bf dress sounds like a bit of a challenge... and I'm afraid I have no suggestions as I've not even thought of bf clothing!

Scream thanks - hoping that's the case! Not counting my chickens just yet though...

Jen, the brooking power is all encompassing! :) Those tablets sound wonderful. I've never really suffered much from heartburn before - so much so that I explained it to DH, puzzled, and he explained that that's what it was, as someone who has suffered from it for years! Does the winding help?

Popcorn, not sure about moving and mini-musical's arrival! In theory, we could be in before then. However, I think mini-musical may well be "early" (I'm not entirely convinced all my dates add up), so we'll see. Either way, by the time we move I should be on maternity leave, which will make things easier- even if we have a LO it'll be easier to be at home managing a move than running about in between work, which is what I did when I moved last year!

Hawthers, try your best to keep calm! I can't imagine how stressful it all is :( I think Ninja's advice is wonderful though - as long as he's still gaining weight and everything's going well and as it should, then that's the bit that matters - not where he weighs in comparison to other babies. I think Jen has incredibly wise advice too.

Ninja, hope DS gets over his cold soon.

Thanks for the house congratulations! I think the brookers were instrumental in our success! DH gave authorisation to the solicitors today to do.. whatever it is that happens next? Surveys? Searches? I'm a bit clueless, I'll be honest! I'm so busy with work that I'm trusting DH to manage it all .

Currently very snowed under with work. So much to do, and nowhere near enough time. Two of my replacements (I'd say 'covers', but I'm leaving both jobs!) start in the next couple of weeks, and the amount of things I have to prepare for them both is ridiculous. I have a cross over period with one, of a month - but to be honest, I think that just makes it more stressful...

Hawthers - sounds like you've had some good advice, to which I have nothing to add. I particularly agree that those charts in the red book are designed for FF babies (I think?) so they can be misleading as BF babies don't go up as evenly. And what with F having been in hospital that's bound to have had an impact! And then the HVs (in my experience) seemed totally hung up on the charts ignoring common sense everything else.

I also vaguely recall reading that you can get the equivalent charts for bf babies from somewhere (can't remember where which isn't a lot of help!) but may be worth seeing if you can track those down?

Interesting too that CS babies start off heavier for the fluid in them - is that because stuff gets sort of squeezed out of then in a VB?

Did your boob lady say anything about the weight gain or anything? Do you have any follow up with her?

On the DS / hitting thing I think it partly depends on how old he is (and I can't remember ). Also, how you've been 'disciplining' up until F's arrival.

As Jen says I think making things seem normal has got to be an end goal, so introducing a different method now might be more trouble than it's worth! We only ever started giving DS 'time outs' when he was going up for 2 and a half. And we hardly ever use them. Now I tend to use it more as a 'calm down' if he gets stupidly upset over something minor, so it is more of a 'time out' than a punishment mainly. But if they're too young they just don't get it.

Also, they used to use it at his old nursery (only in the same room, just sitting them away from whatever the issue was) so he kind of got the idea. They don't use it at this nursery at all I don't think. And at the same time he went through a little temper phase so we used it for that.

But I also think Dream's point was excellent, in that making a huge punishment could end up making him feel more 'left out' so a stern word and distraction might be better.

What a ramble. I bet that's no help whatsoever!

I'm feeling as though I must have finally cracked looking preggers today . I ran into someone from DS's old swimming class in the supermarket, and she instantly said 'oh, another one on the way' - and this was with my coat on (which I still thought made me look 'questionable' rather than updiffed). So that was lovely!

Hope everyone else is well

Oh Purple - a friend of mine went to a wedding while she was bf and got two lovely dresses (she couldn't decide which one to get!) so I'll ask where she got them from.

Musical my prescription was for Omazeprole (however you spell it, I've got none left to check). Winding does help but DH can't believe how much wind I can produce. It does seem never ending at times :)

I didn't know what it was at first, just felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest and then I burped and the pain eased slightly so worked out it must be indigestion.

Oooo I had no idea you could get gaviscon on prescription!! That's good considering I'm getting through bucketloads of it at the moment!

I was prescribed omeprazole a couple of years ago when all the NSAIDs I was taking for my sciatica started messing up my stomach. It works by reducing the amount of acid you produce, unlike gaviscon which is supposed to form a barrier between the acid and your stomach lining. Personally I found omeprazole to be a bit annoying because it takes a few days to have a real impact, and you have to keep taking it after the symptoms have gone (plus it made me super nauseous!). Gaviscon is also pretty useless unfortunately which is why I have to take so much of it! As soon as you change position whilst lying down the pain comes back! The best option, imo, is Zantac. That works by neutralising the acid itself, and it's so fast. Zantac and Nurofen are the two drugs I miss the most at the moment! Even if my back is fine straight after the birth (which is highly unlikely!) I'll probably take some nurofen anyway just because I've missed it so much!

Has anyone read the thread about what to expect in the hours immediately following childbirth? As a first-timer I found it really interesting and informative! I was amazed by all the people who said they had hospital tea and toast straight after the birth though. Am I the only person who planned my post-birth food hamper before my hospital bag!?! I would be gutted if I ended up having just toast after the birth! I need pate, serrano ham, vast quantities of chocolate and prosecco! Mmmmmmmmm pate - I miss it so much!! Would it be wrong to have just a little bit of pate on Valentines Day?! Just the once!?!

Scream I get a different Gaviscon on prescription than the sort you buy normally (at the supermarket or whatever). It's called Gaviscon Advance and I found it to be much better than any of the sorts available in the supermarket. I don't know if you can buy it over the counter from a pharmacy? But it seems to be what they have given me on prescription both times.

But having said that it isn't as good this time as last. Whereas Rennies did nowt last time but are as good as the Gaviscon this time?

And yes, I read that thread and felt thoroughly seen off as I got neither tea nor toast after having DS . I assume this was because i'd been whisked away to be put back together but even so. DS was born at 2:30pm and I didn't get anything until my tea on the ward. And I'd really eaten nothing since lunchtime the day before so was absolutely Hank Marvin!!!!

I'm getting on better too with Gaviscon Advance biscuits, and like you found Rennie's rubbish last time but doing th etrick this time- wierd! Also no tea and toast for me, delivered v similar time to you but also whisked off for serious repair work down under- what a bum deal we got!

Isn't that odd Dream!!!

In the unlikely vent that I need to go to surgery this time (I'm not going too, I'm a brooker!) they'll be wheeling me down the corridor and I'll be howling for tea and toast

I got promised tea and toast but none came! Very rude. I hadn't eaten for 24 hours but all I wanted was full fat coke and I wanted to drink it through a straw! I despatched dh to canteen asap. Strange post birth craving I think.

This time round I have saved two small bags of thorntons from Xmas and have them in a secret pocket in labour bag :)

Hi, Biscuits it isn't that the baby gets squeezed that did make me :o as it seems so true! But when you have a cs you are usually on a drip so the extra volume goes into the baby too.

I have been having the gaviscon advance and ordered my prescription through a call back appointment. I am finding that I am having to drink milk and then take the medicine to help with the heartburn. I was given peptac liquid this time and it is so vile! Tastes much worse than gaviscon. Bleurgh.

Oh the charts in the red books are now based on breastfeeding babies, although this was only changed in recent years and is very much on averages so it will vary.

I had tea and toast fairly soon, took me a while to recover post birth as I reacted to the syntometrine so was having a vom fest for awhile.

I had a real pregnancy inspired dinner tonight... Aberdeen angus beef burger, with bacon, cheese, onion and a spicy bean burger all in a bap. Amazing! Dh was rolling his eyes at me when I said what I wanted but had one too. Anyone else having a gastronomic delight?

Ah I didn't realise you were in a drip for a CS .

I was thinking of the thing about how CS babies have more mucus (?) because they haven't squeezed it out down the birth canal? Obviously I expect you all to be wowed by my medical knowledge and terminology

I guess the mucus wouldn't be that heavy though