December 2011:Once we pop, we just can't stop

[OiMissus]

Here's the new thread!
Squee-eeze those muscles, or squee-ee-eeeze those babies out!

mopsy that just made me cry lol but thank you :) thats what OH keeps telling me too

Feeling sorry for myself, im stuck in the bedroom whilst FIL and SIL are around, they have been here an hour, i want to go downstairs now, but not up to seeing everyone.

Im thinking of getting hold of my notes to see what they say.. OH remembers the surgeon talking about how something had been "messed up", and also how i shouldn't have been allowed to have had the epidural topped up/ or be in for the 15 hours it was.

The doc said i had a high white blood count so looks like infection, but because i have no fever he said i was OK to go home, i may go to my gps and ask for bloods to be checked again.

Listen to your OH - he is right!!! Hope you are okay, get down to GP soon and get checked. And relax now and rest as much as you can and hopefully soon you will be feeling better and can hold Saul! hang on in there, it's been a tough few days, you'll start feeling better soon when you are a bit more recovered. And remember, you did amazingly and you are fabulous!

Kri5ty, totally what mopsy just said!
You have done amazingly. And it's all very well for us lot to sit on the sidelines, especially 1st timers who have no idea what to expect and comment on what you're going through, but I'm going to. You have just spent 48 hours getting your little man out into this big wide world. However that is done is irrelevant. If it is down to luck - and I broadly believe it is - you have had bad luck, quite frankly. Through it all you have persevered and had no sleep and performed, a biological miracle. The biggest miracle of all will be that you will find, in time, your body will heal and you will bond with your perfect son as though none of the pain had even happened. Chin up chicken, it WILL get better.

Oh Kri5ty you have been through the mill my lovely. You will bond don't you worry. If you find it helpful (possibly with a bit more time) speak to the birth trauma association. They helped me immensely last time when I had PTSD with DD's birth. They are experienced and absolutely fantastic. Just make sure to take care of yourself and take it easy by all means review your notes and get your head around what happened but at a pace that you are comfortable with. There are so many women out there same as you and not one is a failure, nature is brutal on a lot of women.

Kri5ty Totally agree with Mopsy You done amazingly and its alot to process. Try and keep your chin up and enjoy Saul it will get better.

I went to see my friend who didn't know she was preggers and had baby logan, only to find out she knew she was pregnant (although not for long) and the reason she hasn't told anyone is because she has been suffering depression and bottling everything up - which no-one knew, not even her mum. Her partner was flagging up something was wrong but she just kept saying she was fine. However, Logan is totally gorgeous at 7lbs 10oz born he is sooooo tiny. At 6days old he's already guzzling drinking 4oz milk. Still got a knack for bringing up wind which is good to know lol!

DP is off out tonight. Whats the betting I go into labour? I think he'll be sensible even tho is last drinking night out before baby is born.

Good name, kri5tykringle!

I'm so sorry my comment struck a chord. I would have preferred it that people didn't feel failures and wondered what the hell I was talking about! It sounds as though the only thing you could regret is not bonding yet - certainly NOT the birth experience (which, as mopsytop and others have said, really proved you as a tough woman and real mother).

Maybe you could make contact with others who've had difficult starts (there is the e.g. the Premature Birth topic), to share ideas about how to achieve bonding after being physically separated.

Going out with my DH for lovely meal tonight. Could be the last one as we keep saying with everything!
Slightly annoyed as he has asked "Is the baby coming tonight? If not, can you drive" as he tucks into a glass if vino.
Sorry but GRGRGRRrrRRRRRRR! Words fail me sometimes!!

HoHoHo Tell him you don't know - so he has to be a gentleman and drive .

My DP can't get out the door quick enough :(

Oh kri5ty you're feeling exactly how I felt after DD1's birth. You will get there and the feeling when you do get there is amazing. Get your bloods checked, get your notes (when you're feeling up to it, hospitals offer a birth notes de-brief which I found really healing) and keep talking. I can't emphasise enough how important it is to keep talking about it. Look after yourself!

Less seriously, have only just got in from a lovely afternoon. There was painting, sticking and crafty stuff and the big girls vanished for several hours to play in DD's friend's room while we chatted and played with DD2. Goat's cheese and tomato pasta for tea in a little while.

Aw Kristy you poor thing! You aren't a failure, you're a bloody warrior woman!!! You're a hero. You went through hell, delivered a perfect baby, and then came on here and reassured us that we'd all be fine, that stitches aren't so bad, etc., - you're a star.
You will be a fabulous mum to little Saul. You just need a bit of time for your body to rest and heal, and then you'll be feeding, cuddling, changing, bathing and singing like the best of them!
Chin up sweetheart, you'll be fine. But follow the advice given here about seeking any extra help and support if you feel you need it. You're visiting MW should be a source of good info too. Xxx
I'm in bed. Feel quite yuk, so I decided to get a nap. If it is all imminent, a bit if sleep now will stand me in good stead. No sign of any progress.
I was v surprised when she said I was 2cm dilated. I thought dilation only happened in labour.
..maybe I'll snooze for a bit, keep on dilating, and when I wake up Giant -GingerBaby will have just slipped out... Z z z z

Afternoon ladies! I've just been catching up on all your messages.

Bee congratulations; love the pic....she's gorgeous

Oi Great idea on the photo book; I'm up for it just say when.

Kri5ty Please don't feel like a failure; you're not at all & what you're feeling is perfectly normal & will pass; you just need to give yourself time & talk to someone if you feel like this for too long. Sure that once you get to have all the cuddles you've been missing your oxytocin levels will rise & you'll start to feel the bond you've felt is missing. In the meantime you need to rest & heal & not beat yourself up; you did an amazing job over the past months & days!

I'm sorry if I upset anyone yesterday when discussing inductions; I'm 100% in support of them when they're medically necessary I just don't think they should be rushed into & I don't think it hurts to question your HCP to be sure you're happy with the decision to have one.

My news there is none Well, I think I've started to lose my plug but no blood yet. I've been offline all day as I went to Truro for an orthodontist appt DP couldn't come with me so I took the very long bus ride in. Wandered around the shops & then decided I really should go home as tightenings were getting quite close together (about 4 mins) & stronger but of course as soon as I sat down they started to get less frequent I'm fed up now; they're barely noticeable now & really really far apart. Thought things were starting to kick off & DP got all excited too...I feel like such a faker now.

((((hug))))) kri5sty: some of what you're feeling will be the so-called three-day- blues (big hormone crash ) and I hope will improve soon: as the others have said, you should be proud of what you've achieved and be assured that many mums take time to bond with baby (my lovely friend with her 9 weeker admits still feeling detatched from her LO after a similar long delivery with various feeding issues and a 5 day hospital stay). Do what you need to get by now and be kind to yourself.

A few months down the line it may be worth using your hospital's "birth reflections service" (ask the midwife/HV for their contact), all english hospitals should have this, they can talk you through your notes and let you talk about things. It's not for everyone but can be really helpful. There is no rush to do it though. For now keep yourself safe and be supported by your DP. Xxx

Kri5ty, giant unMN-hug for you. You've done an awesome job so far & you should be so proud of yourself (everyone else has already said what I was going to say alot better) xxxx

Long-winded question; My MW was off today, she didn't tell any of her pg ladies & there wasn't a replacement at the appointments today...her phone is off & no voicemail, IF I go into labour (home-birthing) before I get a chance to speak to her on Monday, does it really matter that I haven't sorted my birthing plan/had a check up for 2 weeks?
Couldn't get through to the general MW office today to ask! TIA

Honey, hope you have some news soon, had a similar panic on Wednesday, went away as soon as I phoned DH! Grrh.

Hi kristy just wanted to add to what everyone else has already said. You have done an amazing thing bringing a new life into the world, in difficult circumstances, and you really don't need to worry about how you are feeling right now or what anyone else might think about those feelings. Everyone reacts differently to having a new baby and the view that you will gaze into his eyes and fall in love on first sight is not always how it works. I know from my own experience that I took months to really truely feel that way about my DD, but it did happen (was a slow burn for me) and now I can't even begin to describe how my heart bursts when I just look at her because I coudn't possibly love another person more. I also felt bad at first and somehow like a failure because there wasn't what I thought I should feel as a bond, and I thought I didn't derserve her.

Just take every day one at a time, don't expect too much from yourself in the early weeks and be kind to yourself. xxx

Kri5ty I'm waving my fluffy pompoms. You've done stupendously. Take care of yourself and everything will fall into place.

I am sat waiting for sparkly vampires to arrive on screen. I am wanting to kneecap the bag rustlers already. This could be a long couple of hours >_

Sorry for the TMI but I think my mucus plug came away tonight - don't know what it looks like as with DD it came away In labour. It looked like a huge bit of snot after a sneeze minus a tinge of blood - not the usual White discharge I get is that right?

Sorry things have stalled, Honey. That's frustrating (and it must have been exhausting, wandering around the shops while cramping/contracting!).

LittleMissHumbuggery, I dind't quite understand your post, but it sounded very exciting. Sparkles are much more glam than the mucus and amniotic fluid awaiting us all soon!

Did you have a nice sleep, Oi?

kri5ty, have posted on first-timer thread in response, but in essence absolutely echo everyone on here. And we will all be here to support you as much as possible.

Glad you're back HLCC, we were wondering if you'd snuck off and had your baby- sorry it was only the orthodontist! It sounds like it'll be soon though

And hope you get some rest Oi, as it sounds like it's not long for you either. I am convinced that giant ginger baby will be both dark-haired and about 7lbs. We shall soon see....

Had a nice snooze, but GingerBaby didn't slide out as hoped.
darcies I have been losing blood since the sweep, but gradually it's turned more snotty. So now it's pink snot.

Oi ooo that's a good sign then, hopefully baby will make an appearance soon. Would you say I've started to lose my plug?

I have no idea really, but I guess so!

Kri5ty just want to echo everyone's thoughts and send love and hugs. What you went through needs recovery time and you need to look after yourself - try and be proud of surviving a bloody difficult labour.

Looks like it's all happening on here - Oi and Darcies who is up next then!

I've been feeling rubbish all day. Unfortunately not the kind of 'rubbish' I might associate with an imminent labour as in dodgy tummy - more like sore head, shivery, achey and no energy. Lay down at tea time but felt no better for it. Hope I feel better tmrw. Worryingly my DH has Crohns although he is lucky that apart from one major attack in his life - it is very mild. He would average 2 flare ups a year when he just has to lie down and rest - he came home from work today reporting pain so we're hoping it doesn't develop into anything or that if it does, I don't go into labour!

Hope everyone gets a good night's sleep xx

I'm bouncing on my ball like a maniac, with clary sage in the aromatherapy burner & a big mug of RLT. DP tried out some acupressure & reflexology on me earlier but I didn't like it. He's out playing a snooker match now, said he wouldn't be back late so we could have some labour inducing sex...soooo not in the mood as I'm exhausted now & my teeth are killing me but I want this baby out 2moro please...where the bloody hell is he?

Snowball that sounds alot like what I passed...a clear glob of snot....nice!!!

kristy I'm not great with words but just want to add that you've done a brilliant job, you bought a baby into the world and how you done it isn't important. Take care of yourself and remember it will get better xx

Poor Eva has bad constipation and has spent the past two evenings crying in pain :( I spoke to the HV who recommended it might be worth changing her formula, so I've taken her off SMA and now trying a couple if days on Aptamil to see if theres any improvement. Incidentally if anyone else ends up using formula the HV said that whenever a mum asks about constipation they're nearly always giving SMA.

Plu I was in the cinema waiting for Breaking Dawn to start. It was not comfortable. The octopus appeared to enjoy the film though. There were ample pokes and prods.

I was going to order a Chinese tonight, but I'm just not hungry enough to justify it:(