The We Will Brook No Argument for a totally boring and uneventful pregnancy, in which we shall bloom, and a pain-free birth thread, part 3!

[dreamfeeder]

Hands around a mixture of V-shaped pillows, pregnancy pillows, and re-arranges the glittery vom buckets ready.

Gets the jelly snakes going, along with some Cadburys for good measure, and a strategically placed fruit bowl to disguise the unhealthy choices.

Flicks the duster round, sinks down into a comfy sofa and awaits the rest...

Hello, thank for all the indignation on my behalf yesterday re MIL's comments. I couldn't be too annoyed about while she was here but now she has gone I feel bloody annoyed, it was so insensitive. Although I had a really positive experience with my c section I have also had some feelings of failure about it (these have mostly gone, though). I also really resent the implication that I wimped out, or that I didn't have a 'real' experience. I was an active partner in DD's birth, making decisions for both us, before she was born. To suggest that I missed out because I didn't have a vaginal delivery, and that this affected my relationship with DD or might affect my relationship with future DC is just utterly thoughtless.

Phew, I feel better for letting that out.

Hooray for feeling good movement, Biscuits! I have started to feel some wriggles so hopefully in another couple of weeks this will become stronger movements too!

I am not sure how to best go about monitoring movement, either. I found this googling and it seems pretty sensible. There is a link to the full report at the bottom.

I didn't do any formal counting with DD, but I did notice patterns eg I would normally get reasonable movement when I went to bed, if I lay on my back for a while. As she got bigger I could poke her to get her to move! (DH used to tell me off for this but I feel it was perfectly reasonable when it was my ribs her foot was wedged under!)

Ooooo Fishcake that's a really useful link! Thanks for that. I particularly like the suggestion of lying down for two hours and seeing if you have ten movements during that time, if you're worried about reduced movement. That seems like a really practical application of counting the kicks, and something I can imagine would be very reassuring if I did get anxious about it.

Also I love your comment about poking the LO if they have their foot wedged under your ribs! I can imagine me being a poky type of Mum in the third trimester, and I can definitely imagine DH objecting!

Can I ask a question of the people who've found out the gender so far? Do you feel comfortable in thinking of your baby as being either boy or girl now? I'd expected once I found out the gender that I would be able to picture a proper baby more easily, and that I would also be able to start thinking of them by their name, and as a real person. Instead I find myself constantly worrying that the sonographer might have got it wrong, and in some ways I feel just as uncertain about the gender as I did before the scan! Whenever I try to think of the baby as "Autumn" it seems really odd, and unlikely, like it's just a fantasy that I'm trying to make real. This isn't a huge issue keeping me up at night or anything! I just mean I'd expected the baby to feel a bit more "real" once we had a name, know the gender, and I can feel movement. Instead I still feel like I'm the same person I was six months ago, wishing for a baby but it's just a dream. Looking at cots etc with DH, it seems crazy to think of actually BUYING one (after xmas of course!) and putting it in our house!!

I'm a crazy lady, please ignore me. I hope you don't all think I'm some sort of terrible woman who shouldn't be allowed to have a child! It just all feels a bit surreal at the moment, and I desperately want to start feeling connected to a REAL child who already exists even if I can't see her yet.

Scream, you're not a crazy lady at all! I find it very hard to think of the baby by a name (other than Bean). I have got accustomed to saying 'she', but I was having difficulty not doing that already as my first baby was a girl too. I try to think of Bean by a proper name to see if it feels right, but so far it doesn't. Maybe I just haven't found the right name yet. I felt like my first baby was a figment of my imagination before the birth too - this one feels more realistic, maybe because I know what to expect.

I have been having vivid dreams about the gender and name of my baby but i still use bean, cricket or baby in conversation. If the sonographer is pretty sure I will try and believe them! Looking forward to starting some proper shopping after Christmas aswell. :)

Bad signal here but found a bit lurking in a corner!!

scream, dd wasn't 'real' to me like these two are already until she was here, despite bring s much wanted and planned baby.

Re: count the kicks. I didn't count numbers as such, but was aware of when she moved, when she was quieter,waking n sleeping patterns etc. I did once count for an hour and had 32 or something- counting numbers for a whole day would have been impossible. These two keep me awake kicking already! Good your LO kicking biscuits

Not going.to do more in.case not enough signal to post so hello to everyone else

DD didn't really seem real at all, until she arrived. She felt like my secret. Even when she was born it was still a bit of a surprise! I have my 20 (ish) week scan next week and I doubt if that will make this pregnancy seem any more real, either. It's strange, I am really excited about other people's pregnancies, but find it hard to acknowledge my own!

Glad you found the link useful

I'm all disconcertified this evening and can't sleep

My parents had ds last night and today and they've emailed us some videos of him playing at the park this afternoon, which were v cute, but from watching them it looks as though he is wearing a nappy . You can see what looks like a nappy above his trousers when he's climbing up a ramp thing. As I sent 3 nappies (for him to wear one overnight) and 2 came home, if he is wearing a nappy that would mean he'd been wearing it all day. Which would be bad . Quite possible too that the overnight nappy would have still been dry this morning as he has been dry overnight the last 9 nights.

What's really got to me is that I've realised it so late in the day that I can't do anything. It's too late to call my mum and ds is asleep so I can ask him tomorrow morning and then my mum when she gets home from work tomorrow night, but it's really playing on my mind!

If he was in a nappy I just can't think why she would have done it?

It's stressing me out

Sorry that was all a bit me me me, hope everyone else is ok. xx

biscuits, i hate it when something gets stuck in your head and you can't get to sleep! hope it somehow makes sense when you talk to your mum and you got some sleep eventually.

am leaving for work shortly, always miss seeing DS's wee face when i have an early start (if he stays asleep!), but I'll be home quicker in the afternoon instead.

this baby doesn't quite seem real yet either. i couldn't picture myself with a baby or imagine what DS would be like at all! i have quite a few 'oh yeah, I'm pregnant' moments throughout the days, not quite as many now my tummy is getting enormous...

i think I'm about a page behind, will try to catch up later :)

Please can I have some of your brooking spirit today? I started bleeding a bit last night. Thankfully no more overnight, although I tossed and turned all night worrying about it. I'm going to call the EPU this morning and see what they say. I'm supposed to be travelling abroad for work tomorrow, so I need their advice about that too. It's probably too early for a scan (only about 5 weeks) but perhaps they can do a blood test to measure the hormone.

Biscuits sorry to hear about your restless night too - I don't know why your mum would do that when your DS has been so good lately with the potty training. I understand your frustration as my dsis has been through similar with dnephew.

Oh Generic - you poor thing! Even though we all know bleeding doesn't necessarily mean anything it's still frightening. I am brooking like mad for you and hope the EPU can offer you some reassurance?

Do let us know what they say if you get a chance xxx

I phoned my mum this morning and she assures me she wouldn't have put him in a nappy so will just have to take her word for it .

Biscuits Grannies sometimes do strange things and often it comes down to confidence- maybe she just couldnt cope with a wetting incident at the park, or was worried there would be nowhere to change him if there was an accident. I would try to just put it behind you and reiterate next time that he wears pants in the day- also, is it possible that she had some pull ups left over from another visit so he wasn't in the same one for 24hrs. Anyway, glad to know that your baby has started doing some acrobatics

Generic Am brooking 100% in your direction today (sorry everyone else). Everything crossed for you. Definitely call the EPU and if they are even hmming about the flight, don't do it.

I have a grotty cold and instead of my usual double dose of Sudafed, am having to make do with that saline stuff that French people snort up their noses. To be fair, it does work, but it's pretty unpleasant- basically like snorting sea water.

Generic, brooking like mad for you. As someone who experienced two bleeding episodes (one minor, one quite major) I know exactly how you feel. I think they offered me a scan at a slightly later stage (6w by dates I think), but only because I insisted (and all they could see was a sac and yolk, but I wanted to ensure it was in the right place).

They should definitely offer you a blood test, and you should be able to have another later in the week to check the hCG is doubling too. They told me mine were probably late implantation bleeding - bean snuggling into the lining - fingers crossed that's what yours is, too.

Please keep us updated - thinking of you.

Biscuits, glad your mum said she wouldn't have put him in a nappy - what does DS say? Hope he can reassure you further... I

Thanks for your brooking. I can't get an appointment at the EPU and they said it was too early for a scan (which we knew anyway!). I'm going to the GP later to ask for a blood test and for advice re travelling, but it looks like I shouldn't go. Real you are right - it is not worth the risk. If I am having another mc I'd rather not have to go through that away from home.

Musical I bled a lot with DD so I know it's not always terrible news.

Will update more later.

Lots of brooking going on for you here Generic. I hope your GP agrees to the blood test, it will put your mind at rest I'm sure. The fact the bleeding hasn't worsened overnight is a very good sign, but I agree going abroad tomorrow probably isn't a good idea.

Biscuits I hope you're feeling a bit better now you've spoken to your Mum. I guess if you're completely sure he was definitely wearing a nappy at the park then you're still feeling a bit . But you can't do any more than ask her about it and I guess for the sake of peace it's best to let it go. She knows you've noticed so she probably feels a bit bad about it anyway.

Brooking for you generic

Generic how are you doing my lovely? Have you got a doctor's appointment? I agree with the others that if you're at all nervous about going away with work don't go. It's not worth it. How long were you supposed to be away for?

Asked DS about nappy-gate (asked him who got him dressed and if he picked his own pants (grandma was the answer to both of these) and then if he wore a nappy or pants) and he says pants.

So, it would appear, I'm mistaken. Since I'm never ever wrong you ladies must keep this to yourselves - DH can't know I could ever be mistaken - it will shatter his illusion of my perfectness

Either way, if I was wrong, then good, and if I was right (which I think unlikely now) then she knows she was caught out!.

You lot are lovely! I'm just back from the GP who has taken a blood test. I may get the results tomorrow as I'm back at the surgery for my flu jab and then I've got to go again next Monday for a repeat test (they'll be sick of the sight of me!). I'm hoping this was just a scare. Maybe I picked DD up too much over the weekend, but how can you avoid lifting things when you're pregnant and also have a toddler?

Biscuits you are perfect in every way and we shall not breathe a word to DH!

Imps you made me laugh! I have an ample chest and read that bit with interest as well - I remember buying the biggest cup size nursing bra that Mothercare had last time (I think it was a G) although I am a G normally, I think I just went for a larger back size. Why oh why don't the manufacturers cotton on to the fact that there are loads of big busted women and that when we have babies we get every bigger! If you passed me in the street you would not think I had big boobs, but they are a G cup, so there must be thousands of people like me who struggle to find nice bras! (This is one of my soap box topics!)

That's good Generic I'm pleased your GP saw you so quickly. I'm sure by the time the next blood test comes round it won't necessary and you will be just going along to see it through.

Biscuits that's good news about your DS confirming he wore pants. Of course we'll keep it a secret.

I'm feeling a bit queasy again today, I thought I was past all that but it seems not

Generic - glad your GP did the blood test and that you have the next one booked for next week.

Did you decide about going away with work or not yet?

Once I'm done with this baby breeding malarky I'm so going to lose some weight and get my boobs down to a commercially manufactured size :)

The lightest I've been in my adult life was 10 stone and then my boobs were an E cup so given I'll never get to that size again I'm thinking my target might be an F or G cup.

Brooking for you generic! It is good you got attention so quickly. IME you can't avoid picking up pre existing children when pregnant second (or more) times round.. They get very upset if you refuse too much!

Not pg I am generally always nine and a half stone whatever I do and pre baby breeding malarky (tm biscuits) I was a 32E. Went to 34G/H at milk coming in point but after I stopped bf I shrunk right back down to a 32D!!! I'm praying for 32C this time round. I have always hated my boobage. They grew literally overnight when I was 16 and I found the sudden sexual attention from boys mortifying.

Biscuits I need to lose weight too! I promised myself I would do it after having baby number 2. I've decided not to go away with work tomorrow - I ended up telling my boss and he was very understanding. I've been telling him I've had women's problems ever since April when I had my previous miscarriage and I've had several hospital appointments since to sort out the complications, so it seemed about time I told him what was really going on. It's a relief to tell him (and not have to worry that people at work think I'm skiving) but it's sad that the only people who know about this pregnancy so far are DH, MN, the doctor and my boss! We daren't tell any family members until we've had a scan.

Pomme you're right re picking up other children. DD must have a sixth sense as she's been very clingy since I found out I was pregnant - maybe she has picked up on more than I give her credit for. Anyway, I'm happy to carry her around as she's so lovely and a big comfort when things are stressful.

Ah Generic - glad you've been able to tell your boss - I know what you mean about feeling a bit funny about having vague 'women's problems'. I had a similar thing after my m/c, and I felt I couldn't tell my boss as I'd have to admit we were TTC (and this was before we had DS) so you do feel a bit odd about it. I think if you've had one DC bosses etc might not be entirely surprised to learn of another being planned. And to be fair, it was hardly shocking that we would have been ttc but you still don't like to come out and say it do you! I did tell my boss though when we'd been ttc no 2 for so long and then were starting to think about me giving up work without waiting for maternity leave. I think by that point i was past caring so i told her that i had been hoping to get pg and go on maternity leave but if that didn't happen i would be handing my notice in. Which I subsequently did.

Are you going to have an early scan do you think? Do you have a kindly doctor who will refer you to the EPU for one do you think?

I need some inspiration as to what to have for lunch.....