Rats Successfully Smacked, the 'No Brookers' uneventful pregnancy and pain free birth thread :)

[MeconiumHappens]

Hello :)

Scream, I will be doing the same with regard to my due date - and the midwife advised it! Pineapple and the works from 36 weeks onwards. Of course, this is currently ageeeess away. How weird about the dream!

Biscuits, good luck for today- lurking for placenta news!

All the talk about careers and SAHM and working mums is very interesting. I would have a similar problem to you dream, in that I need to keep my foot in the door to maintain a career. However, I don't have the difficulty of three under two! My current plan is to go back to teaching in London two days a week after a reasonable amount of maternity leave (yet to be determined). Ideally I'd like a job closer to home, in Essex, but no teaching jobs have come up here since we moved (wrong time of year!), so will be searching for one. In the meantime, I get substantially more maternity pay if I commit to going back, so I think it makes it reasonable.

In the long term, I hope to set up my own teaching practice, so can work around when DH works. I also have my own business (arranging, composing, etc), which I hope to keep ticking over - be it via a third day at the childminder (or a morning/afternoon) every few weeks, time with grandparents or whatever. If I don't keep a foot in the door I'll be scuppered when DC go to school, and I can't imagine doing anything else!

Thanks for the well wishes about my arm. Seems ridiculous complaining about it! It's my own fault really - after having the jab, I spent the evening bell ringing, and spent yesterday piano-ing and rehearsing. A quieter day at school today, and then no more 'arm' activity required until bell ringing for a rememberance service on Sunday, so hopefully it'll have time to recover then.

biscuits good luck today, will try to lurk for an update later.

I'm one of those lucky ones that has a not-stressfull-family-friendly job. But it did take quite a lot to get me there. I'd always worked in the fashion industry where its very long hours and practically no part time jobs. Got pg with ds, took on a new client, moved house, got signed off for a few weeks with stress and basically couldn't wait to go on maternity leave as I was working till 8 or 9 most nights and then travelling an hour to get home. Went back 3 days after ML the company was going a bit downhill (boss didn't have the best financial mind shall we say) and I got made redundant 4 months after going back. It then took a very long year of job hunting to get my 3 day a week, still retail related but working for a family friendly charity job. But my salary basically covers childcare, food and a little bit more. My full time salary there is equivalent to a little less than my 3 day salary at my old job. But our quality of life is better. I spend 2 days a week with ds and new bean will be about 2.5 months old when he starts school next sept. My boss is generally fine with time being taken when kids are ill (most people in my office are female, part time and have kids at school) and for appointments as he knows he gets very good quality people for the money. I think I'm very lucky. If I could afford a car to get there instead of the bus i'd be even luckier....

wow what a waffle! DS has friend coming for play later this afternoon so a monring of pretending to clean for me. I may tackle the fish tank though as it looks disgusting at the moment.

Good luck biscuits! Let us know as soon as you can...

The work issue is massive isn't it? Dh and I both had really big jobs pre dd, really long hours, lots of working at weekends and no time off at xmas bar xmas day for me. DH carried on doing this as he earnt quite a bit more and sometimes I felt so jealous of him not having any big decisions to make re work.

I ended up doing two days freelance for people I knew from work before with my own little company. It has worked okay (winding down now) and means I get SMP for 9 months with this bean. It has been a bit annoying and hasn't challenged me as much as I'd like though and balancing dd and work sometimes has been sticky. Not sure what I'll do post maternity leave this time, especially as I'm not even sure where we'll be living!!

I also would dearly love to do a training course for something in the same industry I work in but unrelated to what I do now and sometimes wonder if I'll ever get there! It's a bit of a packed away dream that has to come after dc, dh and bits of work unfortunately.

Hi, just a short one from me.

We had our scan this morning and it wasn't great news. The baby has a really large cystic hygroma so things are looking pretty bleak. He or she is likely to have a significant abnormality and is unlikely to do very well. There are a number of conditions it is likely to be like Down's, Edward's, Patau's or a heart problem, which may or not be survivable.

We are seeing a consultant next week for another scan and to discuss options. We are likely to be recommended amnio or CVS but we have decided that we don't want to take the risk of miscarriage. Termination has been mentioned but again that's not something we will consider either. We are likely to be offered lots of scans.

We'd appreciate lots of Brooking No Argument as well as lots of un-Mumsnetty hugs!

So sorry to hear that Bartlet

Not sure what to say but I'm thinking of you.

Lots of hugs coming your way Bartlet (((((hugs)))))

So very sad to read your update. There's nothing I can say which I think could help, but would like you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family and of course will be doing lots of brooking.

oh bartlet, I'm so sorry for you and DH. That's such bad news, and I'm another one who has no idea what to say. (((((((hugs)))))))

Thank you. You can chat about other things as well - I don't want to derail things. A good friend has just been round so it was lovely to chat about the baby and let her see the photos as well as laugh about the traumas of non-uniform days at school.

Looking forward to hearing about biscuit's scan soon.

Oh Bartlet, I'm so sorry. I am Brooking as hard as I can for you and bean. I don't know much about cystic hygroma or the prognosis other than the connection with the things you mention - is it still the case that the baby might only be suffering from the hygroma without chromosomal abnormalities? When I was waiting for my amnio, I was advised that Professor Nikolaides at the Fetal Medicine Centre in London had a really excellent reputation with regard to amnio success rates etc - if you're near London, then he might be a good person to consult even if you don't want the amnio. www.fetalmedicine.com/fmf/ If I'd been nearer London I would have gone there. I hope you've got lots of RL support to help you through it, but we're always here to hold your hand whenever you want to talk.

Oh bartlet so sorry to read your news. Take care of yourself, your dh and your bean. Will be brooking with everything I have for you x

Thanks, Too. It is such a size that they think there is no chance of it no being due to something serious. It is pretty big. I could see it really, really easily.

We've got a visiting prof from London to see on Tuesday, so it might be him, I don't know. Both midwives who spoke to us were very kind and very clear. I really feel we are in good hands. We are in Cambridge, so feel blessed to have top notch medical facilities on our doorstep, whether in Cambridge or London.

Oh Bartlet . I am so sorry to see your post. Again, I have nothing particularly useful to say, but we're here for any hand holding and all the support we can give.

I am however glad that they've got you another appointment as soon as Tuesday. I am sure it will seem like a super long wait but I do hope they look after you. It certainly sounds as though the care has been good so far, all thing considered.

It feels a bit weird to be saying it now, but we've had our scan and everything was as it should be. The placenta was..... Anterior (Dream your tenner is in the post ).

We also saw the consultant (well, one of his/her minions anyway). They've put us back into mw led care as there's little they can do about the fact DS came early and they've just recommended we have an experienced mw around at the birth to check everything is going ok as far as the third degree tear is concerned.

More brooking and (((hugs))) for Bartlet xxx

Oh Bartlett I am so sorry.
I am glad you are still enjoying your scan pictures and I still want to say Congratulations as it is still your little baby and a wonderful thing. Especially as we will all brook no argument that it will be fine or at least of minimal negative impact. :)
((Secretly very mnetty hugs ))

Oh and Biscuits great to hear from you and your bouncing bean :)
Are you happy to be under MW care? You can do perineal massage and things to help with tearing but likely to be easier this time anyway?

Thanks everyone who has been concerned about my BP, it might be a blip. I don't think so as I had a suspicion. Hence why I asked my GP to check. I have been taking it easy and have been off for 7 weeks so far but have been stressed about other things, so this is probably the reason.

Barlett - I'm so sorry to hear that. So much brooking and hugs for you. Glad that you feel you have the right people around you to look after you and bean, that's so important.

Biscuits - Knew it! Glad all went well.

Glad your scan confirmed what we all knew biscuits

As I have a major needle phobia and freak out completely, Monday's blood test wasn't exactly much fun. It was the most painful one I've ever had. Rather than put a plaster on, I had a massive great load of tape and some kind of dressing cover it. I am not exaggerating, the tape went over halfway round my arm! It is so sticky that I've only now been able to get some of it off. I had previously cut the bit with the dressing off but couldn't get the tape off. I've been soaking it in the shower all week and have finally managed to get one piece off! I've got a party tomorrow and a whacking great bruise and the rest of the tape on my arm. It was so sore getting that tape off today that I ended up being sick in the shower. DH keeps threatening to just grab it and rip it off, I'd probably pass out if he did

Bartlet I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a stressful time, I hope that the appointment on Tues provides as much reassurance to you as possible. I'll be thinking of you and your family, and No Brooking like never before on your behalf!

Biscuits I'm pleased to hear your little bean is doing well. Congratulations hun.

On the working front, have any of you ladies just gone back to your old jobs after your first child? I'm planning to cut down to 4 days a week for the first few months (possibly up to a year) but other than that I was just planning to stay at my usual stressful/pressured/long hours city job. There are loads of downsides to it, but overall I feel like I've worked so hard to get here and I'm just starting to get to the senior levels where you have more control over work/life balance etc. I enjoy being highly specialised and working at a peak level in a huge professional firm. It never really occurred to me to change careers after the baby, we haven't even considered it. I earn probably four times as much as DH, so if anyone stayed home it would be him and we'd BOTH hate that! I'm a little scared now that I'm being totally naive, is it really essential to change absolutely everything in your entire life!?! There are plenty of women at my firm with kids!?!

Wow Jen that sounds so stressful! I can't believe the medical guy managed to get it so wrong!! I hope the rest of that tape just miraculously falls off overnight, it must be so frustrating!

Scream I went back to my old job. It just wasn't a long term solution. If I'd been in my client facing job I wouldn't have gone back, but not because of the hours / pressure, I just didn't like it! All of my NCT friends went back to their old jobs too.

Scream - Of course it can be done. I know women who have gone back to work after a year's mat leave to the same job (although often try and get Fridays off or working from home). I would advise thinking of a nanny or nanny share if you can afford it unless you have parents who are willing to help out (that you want to help out!).

bartlet I am so so sorry to hear your news, huge hugs and love and lots of brooking vibes comign your way

Oh Bartlet I am sorry to hear that. I hope you get more information on Tuesday so that you can at least start to build a clearer picture of what might be going on. Big hugs.

Biscuits glad to hear that you do indeed just have a peskily placed placenta. I take it no one sneakily let slip the baby's sex?

Scream I think it is just that some people find their priorities change or that juggling family time, the boring demands of running a house and work demands just doesn't seem worth it. I reckon if one had enough money to get bomb proof childcare and a cleaner it would be much easier!

I would say see how you feel once you DC is here- I have a friend whose DH works 4 days a week which means he can get stuff done so that they can all enjoy the weekend together. Also, as his job is less pressure than her's, he gets home earlier, cooks dinner etc. There are lots of ways to juggle things.

I am kind of in between things at the moment. My Phd is in, I am waiting for my viva and, other than the odd bit of research or teaching, there doesn't seem much point looking for a 'proper' job yet. Plus there is not much about at the mo anyway. Our long term plan is for me to go back part-time in about 2 years but to do odds and sods of work if it's available and work up some publications in the meantime.

Ouch jen!

Bartlet, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Sending lots of hugs, good wishes and brooking your way. So glad you're enjoying the scan photos :) I hope you find out as much as you can, as soon as you can - and that everyone around you is lovely and helpful.

Biscuits, I'm glad it went well, and that the pesky placenta is the reason why you're not feeling much at the moment.

Scream, I won't be changing careers. I'm a portfolio career musician, who does a combination of teaching, composing, arranging, accompanying, and editing to earn my way in life. I'll still be doing just that - just in different quantities! When I say I'll be looking for a job nearer home teaching wise, that's been a goal for a while - ever since we moved out of central London - it's just that nothing's come up yet. I don't like the travel into London, nor the stresses of teaching there (for example, many of my kids can't practice because their parents don't think it important - I teach in London's two most deprived boroughs) - so it's a move I've wanted to make for a while. It also means I have an excuse to buy a shiny new car :P

I still have the same career goals, and want to do my PhD - and will strive to find an opportunity to do so - I just imagine my priorities will alter somewhat :)

Bartlet, didn't realise you were in Cambridge. I used to live nearby (well, a town in North Herts) myself. I know the care at Addenbrookes is wonderful, if that's where you are - both at the Rosie and at the main hospital. I know many a person who's spent a long time there, including family members.

Great scan news Biscuits and no surprises about the placenta. I reckon though you'll feel some movement very soon.

I had a letter through giving me an appointment with a consultant. I have been told I'm low risk and at no point was a consultant mentioned. I phoned the number on the letter and they didn't know why the appointment was made. I phoned the MW and left a message but haven't heard back. Is it normal to see one?